Hey all! This little one-shot is dedicated to Wtchcool. She and I were discussing the movie "Hope Springs" and somehow this came about. There is no clear answer as to who ends up with whom in the end of the story. So whether you prefer Vinwell or Vince/Dana, it's all on you. And, in all honesty, this fic is meant to hilarity, not much else. I just had to put a Vinwell bone in here to appease myself.

I own nothing.

How to Break a Marriage Counselor

Marriage Counselors were good at what they did. Though, even the money that they got paid didn't add up to the scarring mental damages they had to go through on a daily basis. A woman scorned was not pretty, by any means necessary. Dr. Lee thought that he had seen everything in his forty-five years of marriage counseling, but that was before he dealt with the Faraday case.

With most couples, it was easy to figure out the main problem in the relationship: infidelity, or trust issues. Maybe even both parties were too dominant and they were trying to meet at a common point. But with this case, the husband was a blockhead, plain and simple.

Doctor Lee had heard of the Faradays before and he had followed up on them when he found out that they were interested in coming to his counseling sessions. To learn that he had been away from his wife for a year, making her believe that he was dead was slightly unnerving. It was another thing in and of itself to learn that, ever since the incident, Jamie Fleming had been his best friend and confidant. That brought a suspicion of infidelity into play. Mrs. Faraday had a lot on her plate and it was safe to say that she hated her husband at the moment. Little did the kind doctor know what he would really be getting himself into while dealing with this couple.


"Vince, your wife is angry with you. So angry that… I'm not sure I should even let her speak to you," Doctor Lee began. He had an idea that might have gotten those two to talk about their problems in front of them. But… he was more than a little worried that this plan would go awry. Dana sat next to her husband, staring down at her hands as she wrung her hands rather violently. She looked like she was about to blow at any second. Vince, of course, remained oblivious and tried to smile at his wife.

"I wanna hear what she has to say," the formerly framed cop swallowed a lump in his throat and looked over at the public defender. "I guess I kinda deserve it, either way."

"You guess that you deserve it? Vince you made me believe that I was a widow for a year!" Dana fumed. "What am I supposed to be thinking of you right now?"

"I was trying to protect you! I wanted to tell you, but it would have gotten you and Trip hurt," Vince's eyebrows furrowed as he replied. He would have much rather be sorting this out at home, but now he had to listen to a professional tell them that they had a problem. Okay, they did have a problem, but he figured that it could be fixed. Or, at least, he hoped that it could be.

The shrink looked in between the couple and scratched his scraggly beard thoughtfully. "Well, the common link that you both share is your son. Maybe if you both think of the boy, you'll remember happier times."

Dana scoffed. "Yeah. Happier times before my husband decided to stay dead just so he could sleep with a young, rich honey," she scowled at the doctor, who cringed in response.

Vince gave his wife a look. "What? You think Jamie and me…? No! She's just my friend, alright?"

"Well, it would make sense, you see. You were ashamed of your infidelity and decided to stay dead, or make it seem like you were, until you found a probable conclusion," Doctor Lee began, cringing yet again when the strawberry blonde gawked at him to stop butting in.

"It's hard for me to believe that she's just your friend, Vince! You spend more time with her than you do at home. You can tell me that you're working overtime all you want, but I don't believe you. Just tell me the truth and maybe I'll think of forgiving you," Dana was ready to blow at any moment. Even the doctor knew to keep his mouth shut. It was safe to say that this shrink was terrified of his patient.

Vince was about five seconds from beating his head against the desk at that point. Why did it feel like he was on the Jerry Springer show now? All it needed was Dana trying to beat the crap out of him and then it would be perfect. "The truth is that I have never slept with her. She's a really dear friend."

The public defender growled just a bit at his sincerity. She was a dear friend of his, but that was what she was worried about. "Fine. Let's just get back to the superhero fact. You were trying to STALK our son with that damn cape and mask of yours. And that voice of yours? It didn't fool a damn thing."

The shrink contemplated hiding under his lab coat and sobbing like a little girl. Dana was a very scary woman; it was probably because she was partially a redhead. They did have big tempers. Or maybe she was involved with the government or something. Maybe even a branch of the military…

"I wanted to be there for our son in some way, Dana. He needed somebody; and you had enough to deal with as it was," the vigilante let out a heavy sigh. That damn cape and mask were part of what made him who he was. Hell, he even still put it on to this day. He wouldn't stop protecting the city, no matter what.

"And you chose to talk to our son, through his fictitious favorite superhero. I'm sure that our lovely shrink would agree that you were being a blockhead," Dana looked back at Doctor Lee, who sighed just as heavily as Vince did before him. These two just weren't going to agree on anything were they?

"I'm sure that there's something that the two of you could agree on right?" the doctor asked, starting to feel hopeful as the couple exchanged glances.

They did end up reminiscing about some of the happier times, but that didn't last for very long. By the time that this session ended, Doctor Lee was cowering into his chair. Dana had not only started taking things out on her husband, but she also was starting to take things out on him. Like when he asked one too many questions, she was sure to snap about it. As the doctor shut the Faraday case file for the day, he started to wonder just what would happen to this family in the future. No matter how things ended up working out, Lee could only give Vince a pat on the back. After all, a blockhead like him surely needed all of the help he could stand.

Poor Vince, he just can never win in my fics. So, what did we think? Enjoy the break from the angst that I've been writing lately? Drop a line and let me know!