A/N: This is nothing much. I just felt like I had been thinking too much when writing. And, for me at least, writing isn't supposed to be thinking. Now I'm overthinking my fics, getting a little stressed. So to stop the cycle and get my flowing creativity back, I wrote this. I wrote continuously, not thinking, just whatever popped in my head. I had "Her Name is Alice" by Shinedown when writing this, so had the basic feel to that song in mind. Escapism. Meaningful escapism. Which is what I needed.
"And even though she's dreaming, she's unlocked a meaning..."
- Shinedown, "Her Name Is Alice"
"Elliot, if I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't."
He feels his best friend's surprise, the slight confusion. It's obvious in the way he stops playing the piano, his fingers leaving the piece in a startled cut-off. It echoes in the room, Elliot's brow furrowed, as he stares at Leo who is sitting right next to him.
It could have been how casually yet distantly Leo said it, as if he were speaking from a dream. A delirium rather than a simple musing. The wide, languid smile may not have helped with this assumption. But that's okay, because he knows that Elliot can understand, at least a little.
Then, finally, Elliot scoffs playfully, pink lips played with a smile. "What are you talking about, Leo?" he asks, and begins playing once more. It's a song they both know so well, tinged with the scent of a certain purple bloom.
Aah, you're so strange, Leo thinks, watching his best friend. You don't want anything to "change." But I do. Is that bad? The way things are, I know that I can't be by your side forever. It was the last thing "they" told me before I shut them off completely. I can't hear their voices anymore, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.
That was why the escapism that Leo sought - usually through his books - had gotten larger as the days went by. It started with a thought, that what if he were more normal. What if he really could be a good servant that Elliot's siblings would actually approve of. What if his eyes couldn't see those golden flecks waltz in the air.
No, not in this world. But maybe...in another.
Leo isn't unrealistic, though. He knows this is impossible. No one could actually have their own world.
That didn't mean other worlds couldn't be created. After all, one was made - just for him and Elliot - whenever they were together. It was made when they were entranced in a realm of music. It was made when they curled next to each other and read aloud stories. It was made when their hands were intertwined, their lips touching, Elliot whispering Leo's name tenderly...
No hostility or voices or painful memories were in this world. Nothing Elliot or Leo didn't allow in were a part of it. It was like a childhood secret, a song played in the depths of fairy tales.
Others could say what they wanted about this world. Their rules couldn't be applied here, their logic useless within it. This was the only world Leo wanted to live in, as long as Elliot could be there with him.
So although Leo did want the world to change, wish he was some place different, he knows whatever world it is, he needs Elliot's friendship and love. For now, the worlds they can create together are enough.
Still smiling softly, leaning against Elliot's shoulder, he murmurs under the wonderland melody, "And contrary-wise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would.
Ending A/N: I honestly don't expect reviews for this, this was just creative vent. If you left some sort of comment though, that'd be nice -bows-