Disclaimer: I do not actually own the Avengers, I just like to think I do.
I don't plan on any pairings except for canon if you guys want it. Enjoy my first Avengers fic! :D
Tony opened the door dramatically, making Steve wince as it hit the wall. Stalking up to the captain the genius leaned over the couch to see what he was doing. Rogers sighed and put his pencil down, looking up at the other in annoyance. He considered himself a patient man, but Stark really knew how to push his buttons.
"What do you want Tony?"
The billionaire snickered in response, "You have a diary?"
"It's not a diary," Steve frowned, "It's a journal."
Tony walked around the couch and plopped down next to the soldier, "Like a Star Trek type journal?" he changed his voice to a poor impression of Captain Kirk, "Captain's log-"
"I don't get that reference," Steve cut him off, confusion showing clearly on his face, "And yes, something like that."
Stark just shook his head, pulling out a flask of scotch from a hidden compartment in the coffee table. Shrugging his shoulders at the disapproving look he got from the captain Tony attempted to grab the journal. It was pulled out of reach by Steve who looked at him with exasperation.
"I find a journal helps me organize my thoughts. You should get one Stark, it would be very beneficial."
The genius made a face and rolled his eyes, "Sorry, I'm too busy doing more manlystuff, I wouldn't have time to write in a diary."
"It doesn't need to be about your day or feelings," Steve rolled his eyes, "It can be about anything: statistics, facts, ideas. For example, I write about how well our team is getting along and I keep track of what I eat along with how much exercise I get."
Tony put a hand up to his mouth in a fake yawn, "Boring. There's nothing in it for me. And besides, don't you have to make reports to Fury about our group collaboration anyways?"
"Well, yes, but that's not the point! I'll make you a deal, you keep a journal for a week -you have to write in it everyday- about what you've learned since you joined the Avengers, and I'll let you take me to a club."
The playboy grinned slyly, he knew how Rogers despised clubs and loud parties, "Fine. But only if you go clubbing with me every night. It's only fair, I would have to write in a journal everyday."
The captain grimaced, "Alright, but we stay for no more than an hour. We start today, deal?"
That done Tony left to go down and work with Bruce in the lab while Steve decided to make himself some lunch. Both were confident the other would take a shine to their favourite hobby.
"BRUUUCIIE!" the inventor shouted.
"What is it Tony?" Banner's calm voice called out in reply.
Stark rounded the corner and jumped up to sit on the desk his friend was currently working at, scattering some loose papers, "I made a bet with Rogers! If I write in a diary everyday for a week then he has to go clubbing with me every night. I bet I could hook Cap up with a pretty girl in ten seconds flat."
Bruce looked up from where he had patiently started to gather all the papers Tony had knocked down, "Do you even have a journal?"
"Well no," the billionaire pursed his lips, "I'll get Peps to pick one up for me."
The scientist sighed and watched his friend start to pace while having Jarvis patch a call through to Pepper. Bruce grabbed a paperclip and an empty file, putting all the papers into a neat stack and out of Stark's destructive path. Tony flounced back over and settled down to work with Banner for a while.
Pepper tiredly stepped out of the elevator and headed for Tony's bedroom, dropping her professional facade once out of the public eye. It was quite painful really, to stand stiff and straight like there was a steel rod strapped to her back all day. She had kicked off her high heels in the living room, feet cramped from walking in them for so long. She carried a briefcase in one hand and her phone in the other, work never stopped for her. Pepper shifted the journal she had bought for Stark under her arm and opened the door to his room.
The genius looked up as Pepper walked in, eyes never straying from the screen of her mobile, and dumped the journal on his desk. She left without a word, sparing only an exhausted glance of warning at him when Tony opened his mouth to speak. Disgruntled, he stuck his tongue out at her as she left, instantly jumping up to check out the diary. The playboy decided Pepper had an eye for picking out awesome things as soon as he saw the Iron Man cover on the journal. Tony sat down and opened it up, grabbing a pen to write his first entry.
May 9, 2012
Hello to whoever is reading my amazing journal right now (yes Capsicle I'm referring to you). I never thought that I -the great Tony Stark- would ever be writing in a diary but alas! I have made a deal (which of course I get the most benefits out of) and plan to fulfill my end. I have decided that I shall record a list of facts of what I have learned since joining the Avengers. This is my first entry out of the seven I plan to write. I hope that you, dear reader, learn much from the knowledge that I am willing to impart with you.
Fact 1: I am the most awesome person in the building. 'Nough said.
Fact 2: Thor loves to break things. But only my stuff. He broke five glasses, the TV, the toaster when it started smoking, and the fire alarm when it began beeping cause of the smoke. He even ripped the living room doors off their hinges!
Fact 3: I might go broke in the near future. Cap and Shakespeare can clear the fridge out in two days. Not to mention all the damages caused by the six of us living together. I am afraid for my money.
Fact 4: I should probably superglue the air ducts and vents shut. Clint and Natasha like to crawl around in there. Why can't they use the floor like regular people? I seriously think I'm the only normal one in this tower, Well, besides Pepper of course. But Clint loves to scare people by jumping down when you least expect it. And it kind of makes me paranoid (I'll never tell him that) cause I never know when one of them is watching me or listening in on my conversations. I don't want them getting ahold of any potential blackmailing info cause they'd definitely use it.
Fact 5: Rogers is a mother-hen. Always trying to tell me when to stop drinking, bringing food for me if I miss a meal, and he even tries to make me go to bed at eleven! That's not even late! (I know you're going to read this Cap so stop trying to be my mother. Go bother someone else).
Fact 6: Banner should not get drunk under any circumstances. Ever. I thought he would be an angry drunk but dear Bruce is exceedingly clingy. I almost wish he was angry instead, it would be easier to deal with.
Fact 7: The Asgardians are racist pricks. Honestly, they are. They hate the Jotuns because they are blue and giant. Seriously, I know they've warred against each other forever but that doesn't mean the frost giants are monsters.
Fact 8: Hulk likes to smash. That is all.
Fact 9: Natasha is the most deadly thing in the building. I say thing because I'm not quite sure if she's human or demon. I am more afraid of her than I am of Hulk.
Fact 10: Do not speak ill of Loki. Thor always seems to know when someone says a nasty thing about his brother. Any damage cause by Mjolnir is the fault of the offender. Please heed this warning my young padawans (Ha! Got you there Spangles! :D) you do not want to be thumped by an angry god.
Fact 11: Do not do anything that will even slightly annoy Natasha or Pepper when it's their 'time of month' you shall be seriously injured.
Please ignore the spot of blood on this page (don't panic Capsicle). Natasha was apparently watching me from the vent in the ceiling when I wrote fact 11. Scared the crap outta me when the knife came out of nowhere. I have decided she is in fact a demon. I wonder how long she was there for...oh well, she can't come in my room because that is the one vent I have already superglued.
Anyways, I am not about to do a cheesy sign off because I am Tony Stark.
The genius dropped his pen and closed the journal, rubbing his hand where the knife had nicked it. This wasn't so hard and he only had six more entries to go! Tony grinned, leaning back, and started mentally listing his favourite clubs, contemplating which one to take Rogers to first.
Steve looked skeptically at the club entrance, following Stark as they walked past the bouncer. Inside the room's darkness was pierced by bright multicoloured lights that were pulsing and flashing, focused mostly on the dance floor. Tony led the captain up to the bar and ordered a couple of drinks. The music was way too loud Steve decided, the floor was shaking under his feet. He was starting to regret making that deal, this place was more horrible that he had expected. He looked around, watching all the people mingling on the dance floor. The soldier was disgusted by how most of them switched partners every two or three minutes.
Stark ordered another round of drinks, and patted Steve's shoulder, "Why not go out there and dance? Let go for a bit, maybe find a nice girl..."
Rogers looked at him incredulously, "Dance? That's not dancing! It's...it's an abomination! What they're doing is very sleazy."
The inventor rolled his eyes, "Pfft it's fine. That's the kind of dancing everyone does nowadays. If you wanna dance like they did when you were young you'd have tp go to a seniors ball or something."
Steve opted for twisting his face in disgust at the provocative dancing and ignoring how people were hanging off each other and making out in the dark corners of the room. He was very much ready to leave.
"Heeey," slurred a drunk young woman, coming up behind Rogers and wrapping her arms around his neck.
Steve blushed bright red, gently prying the brunette's arms from himself, "Um...hello."
Tony laughed as she persistently pressed against the cap, "My name is Larissa."
The soldier downed the rest of his drink quickly, grabbed the billionaire's arm and dragged him out of the club. He'd had enough for one night.
"Come on Spangles! You promised one hour!"
Steve shook his head, "We were there for twenty minutes. I think that's enough. Did you see those young ladies? No shame!"
Tony rolled his eyes, "Cap this isn't the '40s, they aren't being sluts, that's just our culture now. Well...some are sluts but most are just drunk. You did well for your first night though Rogers. We'll stay longer tomorrow."
Steve groaned at the prospect of going back.
When the two arrived at the tower it was as silent as a graveyard. The Avenger's leader shifted uncomfortably while Stark became somewhat concerned. The only time the place was ever absolutely quiet was when something nasty had happened. Something that usually resulted in damage to his tower.
"Hey!" Tony called, "Peps? Natasha? Clint? Bruuuce!"
Both men looked up as a slight noise was heard. Seconds later Barton dropped from the ventilation shaft in the ceiling. He landed nimbly on his feet, silent like an agent should be. He grinned sheepishly at them.
"What happened?" Steve quickly asked. Stark closed his mouth and glared at the cap for beating him to it.
Clint rubbed the back of his neck, "Um, not much. Thor chucked the blender out the window but other than that we're fine. Just a little shocked."
"Why?" Tony jumped at the chance to speak.
The archer's smile disappeared quickly, "Loki's coming."
Tell me if you actually want Loki in this story or not. I can go both ways. Leave a review telling me if you liked it or not. Until next time!