Summary: This wasn't something that she was used to. The whole concept was foreign, and yet, with Jane it came so naturally.
This wasn't something that she was used to. The constant pull at her heartstrings. The butterflies in her stomach. The breath she always needed to catch when Jane was around. She knew that these things were not actually happening inside her body. However, there was no other way to describe it that felt right. All the other scientific terms she came up with did not adequately describe the feelings that she had.
This was not something that she was used to. She was used to cold hard facts. She was used to being alone and working things out on her own. When did she find that she needed the help of someone else to figure out a problem? That she actually wanted someone to listen to her. That she could actually open herself up and talk to another human being. The whole concept was foreign, and yet, with Jane it came so naturally.
Opening up her home to Jane and her family had been something she did not even need to think about. She just did it. She had never made such an impulsive decision like that about anything in her life, let alone, something that big.
Going from spending evenings alone to out at the Robber would have seemed unfathomable to her a couple years ago. Yet, it just came effortlessly to fall into conversation with Jane, and whoever happened to be at the table with them that night.
She had gone from drinking the most expensive of wines to having a Corona straight out of the bottle, with a lime of course, because Jane said there was no other way to drink it.
Jane had come into her life and turned the whole thing upside down. Maura remembered a time where it would have given her a panic attack to do something impulsive.
However, when Jane showed up at her door with Red Sox tickets for a game that they had to leave to tailgate in less than thirty minutes, she didn't bat an eyelash.
She loved the chaos that came with Jane. She reveled in it. She loved it.
That scared her more than anything else.