- A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 14:30
"If Love can kill, then surely, Hatred can save."
I remember those words, when I was a child, you would always tell me of the ways of man come and go, that they commit sin by sin. Dearest Althena, I have missed you so, I want you to love me, I can to be held forever in your arms, instead, you have always loved Chloe…. I love her too—I love her very much, but the bond is distant between us, as for the Daughter of Corsica—Mireille Bouquet—(if that's her name), she is nothing—useless, spineless whore. She's not like you, she is a friend, but the part of me—this part of me, feels nothing for her.
As for myself, both of us—Mireille and I came to Corsica, and when we got there, there it appeared to be snow—so much snow, that the memories became clear and bittersweet, I am regaining my memories now. As I looked at the flowers—they were full and red, snow pecked at them; leaving a gorgeous view within my eyes—"beautiful," I wanted to say, but I noticed that the Daughter of Corsica is shivering.
My guess, is that the clothes she wore and picked out from her briefcase did not give her the full warmth and security to keep herself from getting sick or cold, such a stupid, blonde bimbo she is.
"Kirika, come on, let's go, now! I am getting cold!" She complained, I ignored her first plea, merely staring at the flowers, my memories are surfacing once more, "Such lovely flowers… they are beautiful…" I smiled softly to myself, the thoughts are coming in by now. Something had caught my eye in the first glance, there was you—and Chloe… but how is it possible…? I saw you sitting on that tree, with my former partner on your lap, smiling as ever. As far as I can see… you were happy and so was she, what is it that you are doing?
Don't I deserve happiness with you, again?
"KIRIKA! Come on! I am cold, let's go back to the hotel, NOW!" The Daughter of Corsica's voice sounded urgent and impatient, how ungrateful of her to do that. As you once told me, "Patience can award the people who can do so." She is not patient, she doesn't deserve to be rewarded just because she is not patient, but maybe, life can do things different things to different people.
Somehow… I felt the need to be held and loved as you did with Chloe—Chloe… that name sounds bitter from my mind. Is it true that I am feeling the concept of jealousy…?
Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe…
She is very happy, and it made me wonder… why? Does she know what it's like to suffer and to be half-dead every minute of the day like me? From what I can see… no—she does not—she is so happy and carefree, that she doesn't know the meaning of pain of being half-dead in a hostile situation.
I want her to suffer… The dark corners of my mentality had awakened, it might have been possible from killing to killing, the person locked away inside me was alive at last…
Chloe, if you don't know the meaning of pain, I may have to open your eyes wide enough for you to able to see it clearly from my side of the story… I love you, but I am afraid… Love can kill you, can it?
"If Love can kill, then surely, Hatred can save…"
I won't forget those words, not now, not ever…
I took a deep, agonizing breath to the cold, aching snowy air that is there, yet I don't feel a thing, this person within me confines in this manner—emotionless, the one that has no desire of wanting to be loved or held… yet I am lying to myself again.
I thought I could see you again, Dearest Althena. I thought you were there sitting by the shade with Chloe underneath a familiar tree, but you weren't… why is that? Is it true that I am a fool for this fantasy to come true? If so… why can't I understand it? Althena, you are the one who could make feel complete and whole unlike Chloe or that Daughter of Corsica—(Mireille).
I was made to kill for you, obey you, and to be loved solely by you—is that… a lie too? If so, just tell me the truth—the whole truth, so that I won't suffer anymore than I am right now. And as for Chloe… for Chloe… I feel sorry for her, she is the one that is blinded by happiness and that of being pampered and loved by you, it's not the same anymore… without you, I am nothing.
Useless… useless… I am useless…
"Mireille, just go without me, I will be there in a while." The Daughter of Corsica stares at me, dumbfounded by my words, she blinked her eyes twice, trying to get to the point of what I was talking about; it took her a few seconds to let the words sink into her feeble mind then she complied, it sounded rather… uncomfortable.
"Okay then." She said, that it almost sounds as if she is getting suspicious of my being, unsure of what I am about to do without her, but she doesn't need to know about it—she thinks I am a spirit that wouldn't cause any trouble just because I am 'Japanese', yet I am grateful she thinks so, because she doesn't know me at all just like you know me.
There was one thing that I haven't told you over the years as a child, but that is now broken—I am not a child anymore, I had outgrown the source of the 'innocence' then, maybe I never had the 'innocence' as I did before…
The 'innocence' was probably assumed violated; raped by the acts of obeying your rules to comply Noir's Fate and sense of 'Justice'. For Chloe… I assume she never experienced of how innocence is shattered. Of course, Chloe is too naïve and happy to believe it—soon enough, I know that someday… her 'innocence' and 'happiness' will be soiled, violated, and raped by the acts of our deeds—to show that we never cared, but we only cared about Noir… that's all is to it and that it is why it is important.
To show the world of man, that Noir has been reborn out of the acts of sin…