So this popped into my head and I had to write it down. Hope you enjoy! Just a one shot. Doesn't have an exact time frame. Please review let me know what you think! As always I do not own any character the beloved Rumiko Takahashi does!
"Would you do it? Would you stay away from me if I asked you to? Would you do it because you knew I couldn't bear the pain of you loving someone else? Would you stay away because you knew I wouldn't have the strength to? Because I hate to break a promise and leave your side but I cant stand here crippled any longer. Could you do that for me? Could you let me go?"
What she said was almost a whisper and the tears clung to her eyes. She begged them not to fall just this once.
He looked up at her in stunned silence. He felt his his chest tighten and he found it difficult to catch a short breath. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Was this what she wanted? Him to leave and never come back? She wanted him to go so she could forget him? She wanted to forget him? What did she mean love someone else? No this can't be happening he panicked.
"You, you want to leave me?" He sounded broken. More broken then she ever heard. But her resolve had to stay otherwise she would be completely shattered and helpless.
"I never want to leave you," She said with a sad smile as she reached out and cupped his check with her hand. She caressed it giving him a longing and hopeless smile. "but I have to. I can't live watching and bearing all this pain. Emotionally I am a wreck and it is starting to effect me physically. I just, I have to try to move on from here. But you should know I will never truly love anyone else." She ended with her tears falling silently. She had to keep composure. She couldn't sob she had to stay adamant. She glanced one last time as she got up and walked silently away.
He stared after her for a brief moment until he shook himself out of it. No it just couldn't end like this. Before he really knew what he was doing he reached his arm out and caught her hand with his. She turned to look at him. A path marred her beautiful face where the tears stained her cheeks. She looked at him in slight disbelief but when he made no move to talk she seemed to loose the interest and remembered herself. But the grief and confusion written all over his face wasn't lost to her.
"K- Kagome I- I know I'm not good with words but I don't understand." He squinted at her slightly with his brow furrowed as if he was trying so hard to figure something out. His eyes shone a dark amber and he seemed so lost. He looked at her helplessly.
"I can't make it any cleared I'm afraid." She fixed her eyes to the ground.
"I need it to be. If you expect me to just let you leave your wrong!" Now he sounded like himself again. Anger taking over.
"It isn't up to you!" She spat. Now she was loosing that composure. And she was so close to the well too. It wasn't that far. A short walk.
"Why do you always want to run from me?" He demanded.
"Why can't you be happy knowing you have my heart and you've already broken it? Why do you insist on saving me and getting jealous over me giving me so much hope? Just to rip it away by reminding me. You remind me I'm not.. I never was" She was cut off.
"Never was what Kagome!" He growled in frustration.
"Her." She whispered the simplest word. The hardest thing to admit.
His ears pinned themselves to his head. A look washed over his face. She couldn't place it.
Flashback : Things were fine and simple and it was actually a beautiful day. The sun was streaming through the trees giving the grass a copper bath and illuminating the world with spring. Everything felt new and for once the world seemed kind. Like maybe today wouldn't bring pain or death. Maybe today was different. As a raven haired youthful woman lay in the soft grass splayed out thick black tresses curling and encompassing her body rolled endlessly beyond her. She gazed up at the sky admiring the vibrant blue. She sighed contently. She hardly ever had days like this. A small smile tugged at her lips as she let her hands roam over the cool earth. She had no idea a set of golden eyes watched her every move. High above in a tree he was just as content but found beauty in something else. As he watched her he kept his desires to himself but also let a smirk play across his lips just as he felt a blush creep in upon his cheeks. He had denied countless times any attraction to her but he knew it was undeniable how he felt. He did such stupid things out of embarrassment. For how rough he seemed he still had an innocence that shined from him. A gentler side that was hidden behind his touch facade. She had to know his claims were impossible. Just one sight of her and nothing could compare and she had to know it. She had to know the feelings he harbored. But as he continued to watch her he found her becoming increasingly uneasy. A frown overtook her delicate features and soon he smelled the familiar saltiness that stung his nose. Why would she be crying? This time he was sure he did nothing. Or at least he didn't think he did anything. He peered trying to get a better look thinking his nose may be tricking him but there sat the miko with tears rolling freely down her face. Out alone in a field on a beautiful day and crying. She truly made no sense to him. Despite this he became increasingly worried as the sobs grew heavier. What was he suppose to do? He resolved to get to the bottom of things and giving his spot away he leaped down from the trees and crouched next to her startling her. She sniffled and tried to hide the tears as she stopped herself from crying and looked up at him startled.
"Kagome? Wh- whats wrong?" He asked tilting his head to the side. He seemed genuinely concerned. That's when she said it and things took the turn they did. End flashback.
He inhaled deeply then trying to calm himself he looked at her.
"I can't forget my past you know. It isn't something I am proud of but it is always there. How can you, how can you always try to compare yourself with her?"
"It's easy she had your love, and I am second. Always"
"Is that why I stay with you? Is that why I didn't go off to be with Kikyo? I owed her something Kagome. I had to keep that. You have no idea the guilt I've felt. It was my fault she died. If things had been different she would have lived her life out."
"Yes I know. You both would have together. Just what you wanted." She didn't mean to sound bitter. But it slipped out that way.
"You think I wanted the person I thought I loved to turn me into a human? Do you think I didn't want her to love me and accept me as I am? As I was? But she never did, not really. Back then though I didn't even think that was possible. You could say I settled back then. Or at least I would have."
She looked up at him confused.
"I don't understand. You yourself have compared me to her so many times, you even sneak off to see her!" She seemed indignant at this part.
"If I wanted to be with her I could! But when I, ugh! Kagome why is it so hard for you to understand I can't say these things! That I can't let that part of me wide open! It never ends well for me! And haven't I showed you how I feel? All the times I throw my life on the line for you. You have to know by now I would gladly die for you. Those aren't even bold declarations! They are proven facts!" He was agitated. It was evident his frustration was getting the best of him as he jerked her arm so she would look at him again.
"Well I need some words! Other wise these are all just guesses to how you feel. I can't know why you do those things for me unless you tell me. Unless you erase this doubt! This has been growing for such a long time! I can't just accept actions anymore because all it is then is blind faith!"
"What is it you need me to say?" He threw his hand up in the air.
"Inuyasha I. Love. You. If you can't even say the same I have to go. Please understand I am not trying to force you to declare anything that isn't there! I just need you to get my point. Because loving you is killing me. I can't take it! I just I can't." She yelled. Frustration seemingly winning over her as well. But she looked so defeated. Her tone held it as well.
"Kagome." Her name was a plead. It lost it's meaning and just carried a cry to her. A pit in her stomach formed. It broke her heart further to hear him speak her name in such a haunted tone. "You can't leave me. I-I do love you."
She looked at him in disbelief. A kind of horror over took her features.
"No Inuyasha don't! Don't you dare say it if you don't mean it!" She started to cry again.
He looked at her as he felt crumpled and incomplete. He didn't know how to get his plea across. He stalked up to her with a new purpose and determination in his eyes and he pulled her to him. He pulled her into his arms and looked up into her pained chocolate eyes. But they were trapped by the devotion in his golden orbs. He breathed a simple "Kagome" before he claimed her lips. He poured his desperation in this and gently bit her bottom lip begging for entrance. When she tried to pull away a rumble came from his chest and the phrase "No" passed his lips as he pulled her closer and felt her allow him to overtake her. He stayed gentle and soft and again asked for entrance by biting softly and dragging his fangs slowing across. This time he was met with permission and slipped his tongue in to explore and completely dominate her. Their tongues battled and the war raged on until a need for air overtook them and they broke apart panting. She again tried to pull away slightly and catching her he pulled her back to him. Out of breath he rested his chin on top of her head.
"I meant it. Please don't go. I can't loose you." He still had fear drenched in his words. He was terrified she would insist again. Afraid she'd forget him. Leave him behind.
"All I ever wanted was you. The thought of never having your love"
He cut her off again. "You always had it. You always will." He swept her hair behind her ear and peaked down into her eyes again. Trying to reassuring her. Willing her with his gaze to understand.
"I'll stay with you then." She smiled softly.
"Forever?" He questioned smirking slightly.
"Forever." She cooed.
"Great now lets get these clothes off. I need to finally make you my mate." He said laughing softly pressing his forehead against hers.
"Haha very funny." She giggled and his face lit up hearing her laugh.
"Who said I was kidding wench?"
Hehe thanks for reading! Short I know but it was just a small little fluffiness I needed to get out there. Love Always.