Disciplined Heart

By Ovid's Muse (also know as Shaina)

Email: [email protected]

Rating: PG

Pairing: SS/RL

Distribution: This list, MoonShadow, The Parapat, Ex Libris Snape

Beta readers: Thanks Caytin and Alexa.

Disclaimer: I do not own harry Potter by JK Rowling or any character within. I make no money for this. The idea behind this plot is my own. Don't sue me I have no money.

Author's note: This is my first slash, even pre-slash fic. So please be kind. All types of reviews yes even flames welcome. Once again there is the hinting at male/male relationships thought nothing graphic. If you do not approve or like the though of Lupin/Severus, stop reading.

Summary: Snape and Remus talk about Snape's betrayal.

Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.
The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable. -Henry Ward Beech

"The moon will be full on Friday," Lupin's voice was low and smoky. He was watching the other man out of the corner of his eye as he often did around this time of the month.

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course he knew when the full moon was. He was the one that made that bloody potion for Lupin. "I'll alert the Daily Prophet," he said off-handedly, looking back at the piles of essays he had to grade. Why in Merlin's name did he do this to himself? It was bad enough most of them could barely structure a simple sentence correctly.

Lupin growled softly, more hurt than he'd like to let on at that comment. It reminded the werewolf too much of how Snape had exposed his true form to the whole wizarding world, making him loose the one thing he truly loved doing. Teaching.

Snape caught the soft growl and cursed himself silently for his slip. Severus's betrayal of not only Remus, but also Dumbledore, still stood between the two, more than the night at the shrieking shack ever did. Snape had apologized for blaming that incident on Remus…. but had yet to even talk to the other man about the betrayal. "Remus…"

"Save it." The words were short and cutting. Why did he do this to himself? Hang around Severus and just wait for the Slytherin to take him apart, bit by bit. It wasn't as if the other man had ever given a hint at wanting anything from Remus, let alone what Remus wanted from the black haired Slytherin.

"Fine." Snape turned back to the essays. For a student as inept in the classroom as Longbottom was, it was surprising just how much of the theory he grasped…. probably why he was so hard on the boy. He heard Remus walk to the door, and forced himself not to ask the Gryffindor to stay.

The werewolf sighed; he almost hoped the Slytherin would force the issue. Make them face the issue standing between them. He walked toward the door.

"I wasn't thinking." Severus's voice was barely audible.

He turned back to find Severus Snape staring at him with dark, unreadable eyes. "Yes, you were," he shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. He wasn't going to let Severus get out of this one easily.

Snape growled. "I was angry at you and Black," he finally hissed.

Remus blinked, looking at him as if he'd grown another head. "Angry with us?"

"Cost me my only chance at an Order of Merlin," Snape spat out bitterly, then seemed to relent. "It was childish and uncalled for."

That was more than the werewolf had ever thought to hear from Severus. "Yes it was childish. You cost me just about everything Severus. You took from me something I truly loved."

Snape winced, looking back at the papers on the desk, pretending to grade them. "Black," he muttered.

There was silence between them as Remus stared at Severus; he could almost smell the jealousy coming off the other man. "No..teaching."

Severus head snapped up, eyes burning into Remus's amber ones. "Don't lie to me Gryffindor. I remember how you looked at him…"

Remus shook his head desperately. "I'm not…" He took a steadying breath. "I loved him once...when I was young. It was very passionate, very intense."

Snape could barely dare to hope… "And now…"

"The problem with young love is that is burns fiercely and quickly...then it dies," Remus said softly, walking back to Severus's desk. "I love Sirius as a friend now...nothing more. What I had with him died long before we ever left school."

Severus closed his eyes, afraid Remus would read everything in his eyes. "I… I am sorry Remus."

A finger trailed along Severus's jaw, setting his nerve endings on fire. "Open your eyes, Severus." Remus's voice was soft and husky.

Severus did, and Remus's face was barely inches from his. "Remus…"

"May I kiss you?" Severus smelled so sweet to Remus.

"Only if I can kiss you back, Gryffindor." Severus's voice was low... rough.

"Deal." Remus's voice was rich with laughter as he bent his head to kiss Severus.

A true smile graced Severus's face as he lifted his head to meet Remus's lips..