Disclaimer: I don't own It's Always Sunny. I only own my OC, Erin Burke.
This is just a silly fluffy drunk one-shot. Erin Burke x Dennis Reynolds shipping. (Because they are my OTP. I can not help it!) .
Summary: Dennis is drunk and Erin takes care of him.
Title of this one-shot is based off the 80's song i"Take Me Home Tonight"/i by Eddie Money.
"I am sooooo drunk".
"You are so drunk", came the parroted reply back.
It was Erin's turn to close the bar and of course, she had a drunk Dennis sitting at the bar's counter. Dennis didn't get drunk like the rest of gang. He still retained a rather slight sober view of what was going on around him until he finally passed out after deciding to try and drink himself into a stupor. He was handling the bottle of vodka and trying to pour some into his shot glass and he was failing miserably because it kept over flowing. He'd laugh and then drink it anyway, letting the liquid dribble down his chin and into his preppy cotton button down shirt and the t-shirt underneath. The redhead finally snatched the bottle away from him. Six beers and several shots of whatever was behind the bar while bartending and then after she had taken over when Dee and the others had ditched them to close the bar, Dennis had started on tequila shots and vodka shots.
"You", Dennis replied, grinning stupidly, picking up his empty shot glass and pointing a finger at her at the same time, "Are absolutely gorgeous". He threw the shot back as though thinking there was still some left in it.
Erin raised an eyebrow, not being able to help but smile at him, "And your hopeless", she reached over and grabbed the shot glass from him.
"Heeyy! I wassn'tt donnnee!", He loudly whined, reaching out with hand and making grabbing gestures.
The redhead shook her head, placing the vodka bottle back on it's shelf and placing the shot glass in the small sink to be washed in the morning. She had been apart of the gang since after highschool. Highschool had been awkward and too shameless to speak of. But she had grown up a bit since then. She, like the gang, drank and hung out at their bar, Paddy's Pub, in downtown Philly. She enabled the gang's schemes and usually had to rescue their asses when they got in too deep of whatever jam they got themselves into. Though, she was biased because of her still deeply attached crush on Dennis and usually sided with him when it came to issues or whatever they were fighting/talking about. To be fair, she stopped being cold and such towards him like back in high school when she had wanted to protect her defenses. She did care about him after all. Love? Love was too strong of a word in her vocabulary. Strongly had feelings for? Yes, she definitely felt that towards him. Erin turned around and found Dennis climbing over the bar, reaching for something.
"Hey! No! No!" Erin hit him with the dish rag she was holding.
"But I just want another!" Dennis told her, pulling a puppy-eyed look.
"Dennis, how many fingers am I holding up?" Erin asked him, holding up her whole hand, however this was futile as he was eye level with her chest and he was hardly looking up at her.
"Three?" He guessed, not really caring.
The redhead just sighed and walked around the bar to pull him back onto his stool before he hurt himself. Cursing herself for not leaving him to pass out in one of the booths and leave him there until the morning. Mac or Charlie she would but not Dennis. Of course not Dennis. She cursed herself even more as she helped him sit up again. Of course she couldn't think of leaving the pretty-faced, well muscled ass hole in this shit hole for a whole night. Erin told herself she was just as hopeless as him and went to the register to quickly count how much they had made. Dennis was just sitting there, one hand under his chin, watching her with an intoxicated expression, that lazy smile still on his face. She couldn't help but smile back, glad he was too drunk to notice she was blushing and hurriedly shut the register drawer. She would come in early, open up and recount everything when she wasn't distracted.
"I'm done, lets go", Erin told him, grabbing her purse from under the bar counter and walking around it.
"Alright! Woo! I am driving!" Dennis flashed his land rover's keys, nearly tripping as he walked.
"Dennis Reynolds, you are not driving", Erin's blue eyes flashed slightly, she held out her hand to him, "I'm driving you home".
"Kiss me and I'll give you them", Dennis leaned on her shoulder.
It was tempting but it was too much like taking advantage to get him to hand them over. The height difference between them was at least nine inches and she hated herself for the images that always popped into her head and most of them being erotic and physical. Erin noticed he was too busy looking at her to care about his keys. So she snatched them away almost as easily as she had actually wanted. Why did she want things to be difficult? Maybe because when they were sober, the sexual tension was always at it's peak. But her overly hormonal thoughts were not helping Dennis and she couldn't bare to think of him driving home every night in this condition. Not by himself. Grabbing his wrist, she led him out the front door and locked up (the back door had been locked an hour ago). She led a drunk Dennis to his car and after five minutes, she finally got him into the passenger seat. Mainly because he seemed to sense she wanted him to make things difficult. Not this kind of difficult though. She had driven the Rover before, on several occasions. She would leave her car here because she wasn't driving Dennis back to his and Mac's apartment. No. She was taking Dennis to hers instead.
"Mac would just leave him on the floor and he's probably passed out anyway", Erin thought as she drove.
Despite Dennis's intoxicated activities of playing with the radio and trying to lean on her shoulder while she drove, the ride back to her apartment wasn't that bad. She was actually glad he didn't vomit on the way there. It took twenty minutes or so to get to her place. Getting Dennis out of the car was nearly as dangerous as he stumbled slightly getting out and she had to hold him up. Though, her face went bright pink as she pressed her hands against his chest. She swore under her breath to stay focused and get him inside. However, this had been a good idea as well.
"I don't feel so good", Dennis breathed as they stepped over the threshold.
She let him go and he ran into the bathroom, which was off her bedroom on the right. Erin threw her purse down on the kitchen counter and went into the bathroom. Despite the sounds of vomiting and the smell of dry heaving and mixed alcohol, she knelt down just behind him and rubbed his back, hating herself for actually brushing her fingers momentarily through his short brown hair. She stared down at her bathroom floor, chewing her bottom lip. Was she suddenly nervous? What for? Just because she had the guy she secretly liked but didn't want attention from in her bathroom? After all these years she was still going to push him away later? Maybe she had been too amused when he accidentally married Maureen Pondesrosa last year, only to divorce her. Although, Erin had been there to make sure Dennis was happy, just like all the other times he had come to her sulking or being depressed or needed someone to massage his ego.
"Oh god", Dennis moaned, wrinkling his nose and frowning as he slouched over the toilet. "Fuckkk", he swore, "Where am I?" He looked up slightly as though momentarily sobering to make sure he wasn't in the bathroom back at the bar.
"Your in my bathroom Dennis", Erin replied softy, leaning over into his view, "I brought you home because your drunk", she smiled and shrugged slightly, "And I know Mac is probably passed out so I didn't want to leave you alone", she said this as though they were having a normal conversation.
Dennis gave her a rather pathetic look as though he were trying to hold down whatever was trying to climb its self up into his throat, smiling in his own way, that might have actually been genuine. However, he disappeared again as he vomited into the procaine bowl once more a second later. Erin got up and decided to make up the couch for him and get him a glass of water. He was certainly going to wake up with a nasty hang over. Not that she wasn't sober either but she had been more sober than him to put it mildly. When he had nothing left in his system, Dennis came into the living room and sat down on her couch, which she had made into a bed for him to pass out in.
"Thanks", He said nodding and debating whether to drink the glass of water on the coffee table.
"No problem", Erin muttered, staring downwards slightly.
As she turned to go pass out herself, as it was late, Dennis suddenly stood up again. Erin turned, thinking he was about go throw up again. However Dennis motioned to her with his arms out. Nodding his head.
"Come on. How about a hug?" He asked, eyebrows raised slightly.
Rolling her eyes and rolling with the punches, Erin let out a laugh, walking over, shoulders shrugging. She placed her arms around his midsection before she found herself encased in his embrace. Her face flaring up a shade brighter than her hair. As she tilted her head up slightly, she was caught off guard and he pressed his mouth to hers. It was a sensation she had never felt before nor one she could understand. But her mind was going a mile a minute, warning signals going off in her head. However, she let it happen and the kiss broke off after five seconds.
"I can't believe you", Erin breathed, smiling all the same, trying pull a shocked expression but failing.
"Now, you knew I would get that kiss one way or another", Dennis smiled mischievously at her.
"Good night Dennis", She exclaimed.
Erin hesitated but was able to pull herself away from him before walking fast towards her room and shutting the door. Leaving a rather satisfied Dennis to pass out in the living room. He just kicked off his shoes and laid back onto the couch, looking rather pleased with himself.
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