The idea for this story came about thanks to Little Lizzie Zentara. My best online friend, my Beta(yeah I so needed it) My person to turn to for Castle freak outs, and my often muse. She is great to bounce ideas off of. In my story Heels don't make the woman, (if you haven't read it, go check it out) I had Beckett implying that her shoes were mocking her. Lizzie was like "wouldn't it be cool if her shoes could talk. (or something to that effect). It sent my mind into overload and this story is the result hope you like.

Thanks Liz

These Boots Were Made For Talking


Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett stared at the murder board in frustration. Nothing, zip, nada. Leads were drying up faster than the rivers in Australia. Even Castle seemed stumped. After five crazy theories that they both concluded were improbable, he was left scratching his head. Right now he was playing peek-a-boo with the murder board. Beckett had been so desperate that she had gone so far as trying to cover her eyes then exposing them, hoping something would pop. It didn't. In frustration she decided to leave the murder board and go over the victim's phone records. Again. As she rounded her desk she noticed her laces on her boots were undone for like the fifth time that day. Kneeling down on one knee she grabbed the laces and pulled them tight.


Beckett looked up to see if Castle or anyone else had hurt themselves. Everyone one around her seemed to be ok but one person in particular looked very fine. Castle had placed his hands in his pockets causing the back of his jacket to ride up. Ride up and reveal a very glorious view. Some people enjoyed views of oceans or mountains but Beckett chose this as her favourite. She wasn't normally a butt woman, she was all about eyes. You could tell so much from them. Lies, truth. Castle's eyes were pretty impressive but so was his butt.

One of the detectives from Karpowski's team walked past and frowned at her kneeling on the floor. Beckett realised she probably looked pretty silly down there. Returning to the task at hand she haphazardly tied the laces while stealing glances at the impressive view that Castle was unknowingly providing her. As Beckett went to rise she felt a force hit her from behind and found herself falling forward before it all went black.

Beckett rolled onto her back before opening her eyes and groaning.

"Arrhg. What happened?"

"Karpowski had a lead on a suspect and ran off. She didn't see you down there and slammed right into you."

Beckett sat up and tried to find the owner of the voice she didn't recognize. She glanced around the precinct but it was completely empty. That was weird.

"Hello," she called out into the vacant building.


Beckett looked straight ahead where she heard the voice coming from and then screamed. She tried to scramble back but what she as trying to escape kept following her. No. It wasn't possible! Beckett closed her eyes tight and then opened them again. She blinked a few times, and her shoes blinked back at her.

"No, no, no. This isn't possible." She covered her eyes with her hands and nearly toppled over backwards.

This. Wasn't. Possible!

"You idiot! I told you not to say anything."

"I had to. Did you want to go on the way you were forever?"

Beckett uncovered her eyes and looked down at the toe of her shoes who were staring back at her.

"Hi. I'm Steele." Beckett's left shoe told her. "And this is my brother, Rock."

Beckett stared in shock. The tongue of her boot was moving as a voice emitted from it.

No. No. This wasn't possible. This was insane. This was as unbelievable as one of Castle's theories!

"My shoes are talking." She rubbed a hand over her head. How hard did she hit it?

"Yes, we can talk," Steele confirmed. "We have feelings, too, so would you quit tugging on our laces so hard when you tie us up? I mean, especially when you are tying us up like five times a day. Now, I think it's because you don't do us up properly in the first place because you're staring at Castle's butt and are too distracted. My brother here thinks you do it on purpose so you have an excuse to stare at Castles butt."

Beckett's mouth dropped open. "I tie my laces up fine." she stammered. "If they keep coming undone it's your fault not mine. Maybe the laces are defective or something. And for your information I do not stare at Castle's butt."

Beckett's shoes rolled their eyes at her. What the...

"Please Beckett we are your shoes, don't lie to us. We see you do it when you tie us up."

"And even when we are under the desk," Rock, Beckett's right shoe piped up.

"Castles shoes tell us your eyes are focused on his butt."

Beckett shook her head. "That is completely ridiculous! and besides if I was staring at his butt, how could his shoes see me?" Beckett smiled smugly at her shoes; she got them there. At least she thought she did, until they again rolled their eyes at her.

"Hello, they're woman!" Rock gave her a look that cold only be interuerted as 'duh' "They have eyes at the back of their heels; you can't get away with anything."

Beckett raised her eyebrows. Of course Castle shoes were female.

"Sissy and Missy say your eyes are practically glued to his butt sometimes. They are surprised his pants don't ignite with the heated looks you give them."

Beckett scoffed. "Sissy and Missy, why am I not surprised? His shoes are like matching bimbos"

"Hey!" Rock shouted at her angrily. "You're talking about the woman I love. Well the woman, and her sister."

Beckett narrowed her eyes. "You're in love with one of Castles shoes?" She watched as her right shoe suddenly got a faraway look in its eyes.

"She's so beautiful and magnificent. Simply…extraordinary. Sissy. Ahhhhhh."

"Excuse my brother. He is a little love sick."

Beckett smiled. Obviously!

"The thing is we don't get a lot of time to talk to Missy and Sissy," Steele informed her. "I'll admit I do have a bit of a thing for Missy, too. It seems like whenever we start to get in a deep and meaningful conversation with the girls we get interrupted by G.I. and Joe."

Beckett frowned and shook her head. "Who are G.I. and Joe?"

"You know GI and Joe." Rock told her. "Detective Esposito's shoes. At least the O' Brothers try and wait until will finish before they butt in."

Okay, now Beckett was confused. "Who are the 'O' Brothers?"

"Duh. O' Brady and O' Grady, they are really pulling for us to get together with the girls."

O'Brady, O'Grady. The 'O' brothers? If G.I. and Joe were Espostio's shoes who kept interrupting, than the "O" brothers must be Ryan's shoes. Beckett couldn't help but smile. Every time she tried to have a conversation with Castle, Espo did interrupt. It did sound like Ryan too. Beckett shook her head.

"I am sorry, what has this got to do with me?"

Steele raised his eyebrows.

"Duh. We want to spend time with the girls."

Beckett laughed. "So what am I supposed to do, ask Castle to take my shoes home for the night? Cook the four of you a gourmet dinner, a bit of candle light?"

Both her shoes looked at her angrily. "Love is never a joking matter." Steele, who seemed like the more sensible one of her shoes, scolded her.

Was it her imagination but did her Steele just turn away from her

"Yeah. It's not like I am asking to move into Sissy's wardrobe or anything. I just want to spend a little more time with her. To get to know her out of the work environment. Maybe the two of you could kick your shoes off while you watch a movie or something."

Beckett scoffed. "So I am meant to go on a date with Castle so you two can hook up with his shoes."

"Do you have to be so crass? We just want to spend some time with them. I don't want my brother making a commitment to this woman unless he knows her a bit better. All we are asking for is a bit more one on one time. What's a movie between friends?"

"Castle will think it's more than just a movie."

"So what's the big deal? Castle is a great guy." Rock was now frowning at her.

Laughing, Beckett shook her head; her shoes were giving her dating advice.

"Oh, and how exactly do you know that?"

"Sissy and Missy told us."

Beckett rolled her eyes "Of course his shoes are going to sing his praises; they are his shoes after all."

Both her shoes started laughing at her.

"Really? Because that guy Josh you were dating? His shoes told us he was a complete asshole. And more than one pair. He would kick his shoes off, leave them lying all over the place. He was constantly then tripping over them because they were never put away. Josh got angry a lot and often threw the shoes across the room after he tripped over them. The worst of it was he would never clean them. They were constantly covered in mud and blood and really smelled. I swear whenever we were under the bed with them it would be five minutes of complete bitching from his shoes. Thank God he didn't last longer than that."

Somewhere in the back of Beckett's mind she thought this whole thing was some elaborate stunt Castle had created. She didn't know how he accomplished it but she was sure he was behind it. Until now. There was no way he could know that Josh was a quickie all the time kind of guy. However, her shoes were trying to prove to her that Castle was a great guy by saying Josh's own thought he was an asshole.

"Lots of people kick off their shoes." Beckett wasn't sure why she was defending Josh. They were right, his shoe hygiene was terrible.

"Castle toes off his shoes occasionally but never kicks them off. He is always good about untying his laces and taking his shoes off slowly. Sissy says he is good about taking care of them. He uses water proof sprays and always makes sure to wipe off his wet or dirty shoes."

Steele nodded at her. "And in case you were wondering, it's been awhile since they have been under the bed with shoes from the opposite sex."

Beckett shook her head. "Why would I care about that?"

Her shoes raised an eyebrow each at her and she wondered if they learned that from Lanie's shoes.

"So, I am meant to date Castle because he takes good care of his shoes?"

"It speaks to his character. Feet are the foundation of our bodies. If you take care of your feet they will take care of you. Caring is a good foundation for a relationship, don't you think, Beckett?"

Beckett shrugged.


"I don't know."


Why were her shoes hassling her?


Wait, that wasn't the voice of her shoes. That was a familiar voice. She turned her head to look around the precinct from her position on the floor but it was still suspiciously empty.


Looking back at her shoes her eyes suddenly became blurry.


That was Castle's voice. She blinked a few times to try and clear her vision. Suddenly a face swam into view

"Castle?" she questioned. He was hovering over her. "What happened?" she realised she was lying on the cold hard floor.

"Karpowski accidently knocked you over. She was rushing out to catch a suspect and didn't see you. She said to say sorry. "

Beckett nodded as she leaned forward trying to sit up. "That's what my shoes said."

"What?" Castle asked, confused. "Here, let me help you up."

Kate didn't respond but didn't object when he put his arms around her and helped her up. She felt his arms guide her back and then the pressure on her shoulder urged her to sit down.

"Are you ok?"

Beckett placed a hand to the back of her head and gave it a little rub.

"Umm yeah, just hit my head." She blinked a few times as pain swelled through her head when she touched the lump .

"What were you doing on the floor?"

Beckett looked down at her shoes and noticed that the laces were undone. "I was attempting to tie up my shoes."

Castle looked down at her feet and saw the strewn laces.

"Here, let me get that for you."

Castle got done on one knee and grabbed the laces.

"Not too hard, it hurts them."

Castle looked up at Beckett. "What?"

Beckett's eyes widened when she realised what she had just said. Maybe she had hit her head harder than she thought. After all, she did just have a dream about her shoes talking.

"I. Umm. Don't like it when my laces are tied to tight. It hurts."

Castle frowned and gave her a puzzled look. His fingers danced over Beckett's laces and tied them in a knot. He patted his hands either side of Beckett's boots to indicate he was done and then looked up at her.

Beckett froze as Castle's blue eyes locked onto hers. His hands were effectively hugging her feet and it was sending chills up her body. What was affecting her most was that Castle was down on one knee in front of her. Oh, she was so wrong about being a butt woman. She was defiantly an eye woman. As his hands moved over her boots she shook her head. Who was she kidding? She was a butt, eye, hands, whatever part of Castle body she could see, woman.

"Yo Beckett, that lead was a total bust."

Beckett quickly drew her eyes away from Castle's and onto the detective who had interrupted them. She wondered what her shoes would be thinking about this. Nothing, she told herself; her shoes didn't have thoughts. Esposito looked between Castle and Beckett and raised an eyebrow.


What's going on?"

Castle stood up and dusted himself off. "Beckett was trying to tie her laces up when Karpowski knocked her over. I was just assisting her."

Esposito's eyes darted between them but then shrugged. "Whatever."

"Hey Espo, where is my chocolate bar? You lost the bet- that was the deal."

Esposito turned to his partner who was walking over to him.

"Yeah, I am getting it in a sec, Bro. Just wanted to fill Beckett in."

Ryan shook his head as he walked up to the group. "You couldn't wait two minutes to tell Beckett that we have got nothing and Gates is ordering us to go home?"

"Well, you couldn't hold your hold it for two minutes otherwise you could have given Beckett the news instead of going to the bathroom." Esposito shot back.

Beckett couldn't help but smile.

Ryan was annoyed at Esposito and if she guessed it was because Esposito had interrupted them again. Like her shoes said.

Wait, what?

"So we can leave?" Castle asked the two male detectives.

Esposito frowned at him. "Bro, you can leave whenever you want."

Castle watched as the two detectives turned and left, leaving him alone with Beckett .He watched as without argument she logged out of her computer and started tiding up her desk.

"You ok there, Beckett?"

Beckett looked up at Castles surprised at his comment. "Yeah, why?"

"You're getting ready to go home, with no arguments."

Beckett stopped packing up for a second as if unaware of what she had really been doing.

"Ahh well, this case is going nowhere and I am getting frustrated. I figured there is no point arguing with Gates, maybe coming in fresh tomorrow might help us." The truth was she wanted to go home. She hadn't slept much the night before thanks to a neighbour having a party. That had to be the reason why she had dreamt of her shoes talking.

"Want to grab some dinner? It's still pretty early."

Beckett bit her lip. Castle was asking her out to dinner. He didn't say Remy's, just dinner, which could mean anywhere. Dinner equaled date, which equaled kissing, which equaled commitment. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that so she shook her head.

"No thanks. I think I am just going to head home."

Castle nodded his head and then turned and grabbed his jacket. "Well, until tomorrow."

Beckett watched as the man who had just so delicately tied her laces and took her breath away simply by kneeling in front of her walked away. She felt an unusual feeling in her chest, it almost felt like sadness and she couldn't figure out why. The feeling dissipated as Castle slipped his hands into his pockets and hitched up his jacket enough so she could get another look at his glorious back end. Her eyes scanned over his butt and then his legs, finally resting on his shoes. His shoes which Steele and Rock said could see her looking at his butt. Quickly she turned her head and finished packing away her desk.

When her leg twitched Beckett looked at it straggly. Did she just have a muscle spasm? When her foot tapped the ground twice Beckett almost jumped out of her skin. No, this couldn't be happening. She took her eyes off her legs and back to her task but this time both her feet started tapping the ground. Beckett placed her hands on her knees trying to stop them from moving but they fought against her. Hearing the elevator ping Beckett looked up and saw Castle enter the elevator. When he turned and leant against the back wall Beckett noticed he looked sad and dejected. That unusual feeling in her chest returned. Beckett looked down at her feet and then back up at Castle.

"Okay, fine"

Beckett stood up and grabbed her bag and jacket.

"Castle, wait."

Beckett ran through the precinct as the elevator doors began to shut in front of her. Suddenly Castle's hand shot out and the doors opened again. Beckett slowed her pace and tried to enter the elevator with as much dignity and grace she could muster. She had just made a bit of a spectacle of herself, yelling out Castle's name and running to him.

"You alright?" Castle asked as the doors closed fully this time.

Beckett nodded at him. "Yeah, I just wanted to ride down with you."

She watched as he frowned at her, and then looked down at her leg when it twitched. She knew she had to say something soon to appease her shoes otherwise he was going to think she was crazy. Or having some kind of fit.

"Sorry about turning down your dinner invitation."

Castle shrugged. "It's ok. I just figured you might be hungry."

"I am, but it's been a long day I was just going to grab something on the way home."

He nodded at her and smiled. Beckett's heart fluttered. He wasn't pushing her or forcing her into something she wasn't ready for. It was just dinner and as her shoes said, it's not like they were asking to move in. Taking a deep breath she took a step closer to him so there shoes were almost touching.

"Feel like joining me?"

Beckett watched as Castle simply stared at her.

"We could take off our shoes, sit on the couch and gorge ourselves on Chinese food. Maybe watch a movie or talk, nothing special but..."

"No, no, that sounds great," Castle interrupted her before she could recant her offer.

Beckett bit her lip. "Are you sure? I know you're probably used to something


He shook her head. "No, I like the idea of us just kicking back, relaxing. Give us a chance to get to know each other out side of the work environment."

Beckett smiled as she looked down at her shoes. That's exactly what they had said.

"What are you smiling at? Do I have something on my shoes?"

Beckett looked up at Castle in shock. Oh God. Had Castle just caught her looking at her shoes with a goofy grin?

"I... Ummm. Your shoes are nice."

Castle looked down at his shoes and lifted one foot and turned it side to side.

"I know, I love them."

Beckett nodded. "And they love you."


Beckett was in so much trouble. If she kept this up Castle was going to think she needed to be committed.

"I mean, they love your feet. You never complain about sore feet so your shoes must take good care of them. I mean It's not like shoes can talk or anything."

Oh, she had just made it worse. The elevator stopped and Beckett quickly exited before she made an even bigger fool of herself. Castle followed close behind her, thankfully not commenting on her strange behaviour.

"Wouldn't it be so cool if shoes could talk?" Castle asked as he sidled up beside her.

Beckett's steps faltered slightly. "Gee I don't know, Castle, you talk enough for the both of us. I doubt our shoes would have anything intelligent to say."

Beckett then tripped and would have ended up on the pavement if it weren't for Castle catching her.

"You ok?" Castle asked her for the second time that day.

Beckett looked down at her shoes in shock. They had tripped her; her shoes had purposely tripped her for making the comment about them not having anything intelligent to say. She wanted to be angry at them but she couldn't, because she was now in Castles arms. He was still holding her tightly and looking at her intently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess that was my shoes way of saying they are intelligent."

"Really. And what else do your shoes say?" he asked as he let go over her.

As his hands left her body, Beckett felt as if a cold breeze had swept over her. Had his touch always affected her like this? Castle stood there watching her, waiting for her to reply. Taking a step forward she wrapped her arm around Castle's. He seemed surprised by her gesture. On occasion he had offered his elbow to her and she had taken it. Never had she taken it of her own free will. As they walked off together Beckett thought about what her shoes would say about this latest development.

"I think Rock and Steele would say, 'It's about time.'"

Castle looked at her strangely.

"Rock and Steele?"

The End

So what do you think. Bit wacky but I hope funny.