The Library Diaries

River/Doctors (9,10,11)

PG for now (may vary)

Summary: The Doctor reunites with River in the Library in a different way than expected.

Disclaimer: Moffat. Moffat. Moffat.

Part 1

If you think about it nice and hard being kept alive in a computer seems limited and boring. Everything is perfect; everything is warm and sunny, except it's not. River Song has made it hard for herself. She has demanded, unlike the others, to know what date it is and how long she has been kept in CAL's hard drive. It's not that she wants to torture herself it's that she doesn't want to lose herself in waiting. Like her mother, she's learned to stop waiting.

When she was downloaded into the computer she could see it as nothing but a gift. A life that she could preserve until one day perhaps the Doctor would get her out of it, she was sure in the beginning. Now she's not so keen to believe in anything anymore. She fills her time with countless adventures the computer has saved along the years and has more or less found a rhythm she can be at peace with.

She's taken Cal and the other children to have breakfast with Winston Churchill and tea with Princess Diana. It's really not so bad. Learning to live without the Doctor should have been worst but she really can't complain when she has the biggest library in the world at her fingertips. The only thing that annoys her is that Cal has taken to blocking the stories of the Doctor from River's grasp. They are locked in a vault that Cal refuses to let her open.

"You have your blue book, River." Cal frowns. "That's all you should need. The Doctor wouldn't have let it be downloaded into my system if it wasn't enough."

"But you don't understand!" River knelt down to the small child's height. "I can go anywhere in here. Do anything. But I want to be with him."

"I'm sorry." Cal pulls River in for a hug.

River holds the virtual child in her arms with the weight of her heart on her shoulders.

"At least tell me why?" River begs.

"Spoilers." Is what falls from the young child's mouth.

"What?" River pulls back to look into Cal's eyes, "What did you say?"

"You'll see soon enough." Cal smiled and tugged River's palm into her own. "Let's go see Frank Sinatra tonight. I have the perfect idea and you'll love it."

River let the child tug her forward and into another lovely setting for now. Other Dave and Miss Evangelista tagged along. The others took to River's life like a fairytale. They all were fascinated and were pleased with every new trip Cal led them to. But it wasn't the same, and River was the only one who knew it. When Cal takes a glance at her, as the young girl usually always does, she sees River is not as enthusiastic as the others are. That makes the child try harder next time. It breaks Rivers hearts that she can't react any different.

It was later on when Cal brought them home and River was picking up the toys Cal played with that day when she found something peeking out from under the sofa. As her hand went in to reach for it the object gave off static and started glowing bright blue. When River touched it she got a zap to her finger and jumped back in alarm. River looked around the room to make sure no one was around and took a dress off of a doll that sat beside her and reached for the object again. The object started to dim and took the image of a wallet. River placed her hands securely around it and pulled it towards her.

She knew what this was.

Psychic paper.

River tried to grab the wallet with her hands now, carefully. It did not sting her again. She flipped it open to find scribbled words that could only be her Doctor's handwriting.

Hi honey, I'm home.