Sorry this chapter is so late, but I have been trying to update both FSOG stories I write while dealing with my family holiday dramas that keep coming up. I will post a new Teddy's Moments chapter after this one, so I will not post anything new for another two weeks or so.
I am currently working on a new story, will be short one, about 3 or 4 chapters long, and it takes place during Christian's 50th birthday celebration.
Disclaimer: I wished I had written Fifty Shades, but that honor belongs to E.L. James, I only play with her characters for pure pleasure.
INTENTIONS ARE CLEARED
As Christian approaches the apartment, he can hear the faint barking of a dog inside, which means that the occupant of the dwelling is most likely aware that someone is just outside the door. He knocks a few times and waits patiently until he hears footsteps approaching. As the door opens slowly, the figure of a fragile woman finally appears, and he recognizes that figure immediately, it is Leila Williams.
Leila gasps in shock as she recognizes Christian immediately. He, however, does not seem surprised at her appearance at all and does not show any kind of emotion as he stands in front of her door. He stares at her with indifference and remains still without saying a word. They both look at each other for a moment before Leila turns away from Christian's cold stare. It has been more than five years since the last time they faced each other, she is confused and at a loss for words. As her shock wears off, she takes a few steps forward to look around as if expecting someone else to be there with him. She immediately sees a black Audi Q5 SUV parked in front of her apartment with two sharply dressed men leaning by the side of the car. She recognizes one of the men she expected to see, Jason Taylor.
"Leila, it has been a while. May I come in?" Christian's tone of voice surprises her, it is flat and unfriendly. She opens and closes her mouth a few times before finally finding her voice.
"Sir." She whispers.
"May I come in Leila?" He asks again.
She takes a deep breath before responding. "Y-yes, of course, please, come in Sir."
She motions for him to enter and quickly picks up her barking Terrier dog and places him inside a kennel near the kitchen hallway. After taking care of her dong she walks around Christian to close the front door.
"Please Sir, take a seat…I…uh…do you want something to drink?" She asks as she moves closer to him.
"No, I'm fine Leila." He responds as he takes a seat on the sofa and notices that she is fidgeting with her hands quite a bit and appears somewhat nervous. She takes a seat on the opposite side of the couch from him.
Christian notices the change in her appearance; it is obvious to him that the last five years had not been kind to her. "You have not been taking care of yourself. He simply states.
"I… I been doing my best Sir, I'm fine. You look good Sir." She responds very softly while turning her face away from him.
"Leila, please look at me, stop staring at the floor."
She complies by slowly turning back to face him again.
"So, what are you up to now Leila, what exactly are you and your old friend planning to do?"
Surprised by his question, she turns to face him. "I d-don't understand what you mean."
"Yes, you do. Tell me, has old Mrs. Lincoln conjured up any devious plans against me or my family?"
"No, Sir, you…"
"Don't, don't call me that anymore Leila; it's Christian, not Sir, just Christian."
"I'm sorry S…Christian, but I don't understand."
"Don't you? Tell me Leila, did you enjoy your lunch date with Elena today?"
Mortified, she turns her gaze away from Christian. "How… what do you mean Sir?"
"I told you Leila, do not call me Sir anymore; we don't have that kind of relationship anymore!" he snaps at her.
"Christian, p-please, don't get angry... Elena and I are not friends…never have been."
"Don't fucking lie to me Leila, I know about your fucking meeting this afternoon!" He nearly jumps off the couch as he stands to confront her.
"Christian, I…I, how did you find out?"
"Are you fucking kidding me Leila? I have resources; you know exactly how I found out about it!"
"Christian, please, calm down, I can explain everything, please, don't be angry with me." She pleads.
It takes Christian an enormous amount of effort not to lose control. "I am beyond angry with you Leila, angry and disgusted. I know how you were able to break into my place over five years ago. You called Elena several weeks before your break in, and I know it was her who gave you the updated security code for Escala."
"Mas…Christian, please, I was in bad shape back then. I was ill, unstable, and I know that what I did to you and Anastasia was terrible; there is no excuse for what I did. I deeply regret what I did, and I'll always be grateful to you and your wife for not pressing charges against me. I am so sorry Christian, I am so sorry…"She is unable to finish as she begins to sob.
"Tell me Leila, was it Elena who gave you Anastasia's old address?"
"Yes, and she confirmed where she worked at too."
"Have you been keeping in touch with her since all that shit happened?"
"No Christian, I swear to you, I have not. She surprised the hell out of me today when she showed up at work looking for me."
Christian takes a deep breath trying to keep his cool and not to lose his temper again. "Why are you helping her Leila, is revenge what you are after?
"No Christian, please don't think that!"
"What's in it for you then?"
"Christian, of course I do not want revenge, but she does."
"I wish I could believe you Leila, but your track record speaks volumes. You stalked me and my Ana and you came so close to…" He closes his eyes as he remembers what happened years earlier.
"I know what Elena is planning and what she needs from you. She is using you to get to me." He moves closer to look her straight in the eye. "I need to know Leila, are you going to help her carry out her plan? Do you seriously think that I would ever allow her or you to even try to get close to my family? Do you have any idea what I am capable of doing in order to protect my family?"
"I swear to you Christian, I do not want to do anything to help her but she is forcing me. I just want to live my life with someone who is very dear to me, but she threatened me, and I know her Christian. Elena is capable of anything, and if I refuse to help her, she will ruin the only good thing I have going for me right now."
"Did she threaten to tell this Raymond guy about your lifestyle?"
"How do you know about Ray?" She is surprised to hear her fiance's name.
"Come on Leila, who do you think you are talking to. I know this Raymond James is your fiancé. I know he is a police officer, and most likely does not know about your current lifestyle since you are willing to even consider helping Elena. I know she threatened to go to him if you refuse to help her."
"Christian, I cannot lose him, he means everything to me. He does not know about my past, and he can never find out about it."
"Leila, how can you expect him not to find out about your lifestyle when you are still active in that scene? He is a cop for Christ sakes!" He shakes his head in amazement. "He must not be a very good one if he hasn't found out already."
"Sir, please, I…I don't do that anymore, I…" She is interrupted by Christian's outburst.
"Listen Leila, I dug up recent information about you in just two days. You are still an active submissive, but this time you charge for your services in some underground scene Leila." He frowns, and for the first time since he entered her apartment, Christian's face softens as he faces the sobbing woman sitting beside him. "Sooner or later Leila, you fiancé will find out about your 'sexual' activities. I just don't think you will be able to keep this a secret from him for very long, not unless you quit the scene completely."
"I know, Christian, I know." She whispers.
"Leila, I can't help you anymore, not like before. I'm not responsible for your life or your actions. You are a grown woman and you, only you can be in charge of your own life. I am not responsible for what happened to you before and after we met. What went on between us in the past was only sex, an intimate arrangement between two consenting adults. I'm sorry that it meant more to you than it did to me, but what we had was brief and unhealthy. For me, it was all about control, personal satisfaction and fucking, and nothing more."
"Why Christian, why are you trying to hurt me again?" She asks while still sobbing.
"I am not there to hurt you Leila, I'm here to settle things between us once and for all. I took responsibility for my actions years ago, but I still have many regrets. When we met, we were both experienced participants of a different lifestyle, and you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you signed up to continue that lifestyle with me. For a while, after our relationship ended, I felt responsible and guilty for the bad turn of events your life took. I tried to compensate my guilt by supporting you financially and providing you with other necessities, and that gave me satisfaction, but only to some extent. After a while, I came to realize that as twisted our relationship was, we were both equally responsible for our actions. I did not force you into doing anything you were not willing to do. I did not abuse you Leila, because we both got off while fucking hard. I got off controlling and dominating you and you got off being controlled. You were an experienced sexual partner before I met you, and you were compensated well for your part in our twisted relationship. I continued helping you long after our relationship ended, even after I met Anastasia. Even after you contacted my wife after I warned you not to, I still continued to provide you with financial help, including medical and counseling with the best therapist available."
"Christian, you did stop helping me. I tried calling…" She is interrupted by an irrate Christian.
"Listen Leila, I told you to never contact me or my wife after you felt the need to go visit her at work. You broke your promise a year later when you showed up at Grey Enterprises telling my receptionist that you had an appointment to see me, which was a lie. As I told you before Leila, I am not responsible for you, or your life and I owe you nothing. I am a married man, a man who loves his wife and children. They are my life, and my only responsibility. I owe you nothing anymore Leila. Do you understand what I am saying?"
Leila covers her face as the tears stream down her face. She remains seated and does not notice that Christian has moved even closer to her.
"Leila, please look at me."
She wipes her tears with the back of her hand as she slowly turns to face Christian.
"I told you before, I am not here to hurt you, and I am sorry if my words did. You have to understand, I am here because I need to protect my family. I am not here to play nice or to offer you any kind of financial or moral support, I'm not here to buy you out." He takes a deep breath as he rubs his face. "Leila, I need to know if you are going to go through with Elena's plan. I know that she's using you to get to me, and I also know that she is blackmailing you to get what she wants. If she want to play dirty, then I can play that way too, where she throws dirt, I throw mud."
She wipes her tears before she answers. "I don't want to help her at all Christian, I hate that woman. She is despicable, mean and vicious. I don't want to help her hurt you or your family Christian."
For the first time a smile appears on Christian's face. "That is what I wanted to hear Leila. Now, I have to ask you something."
"What is it?"
"Do you trust me Leila?" He asks as he hands her a tissue.
"What?" She is surprised by his question.
"Do you trust me?" He asks again.
She pauses for a few seconds as she wipes her tears away. "Yes, I trust you Christian." She whispers.
"Leila, without your trust I cannot help you, but if you do exactly as I tell you, I promise you, your fiancé will not find out anything that you do not want him to know, that is unless you tell him yourself."
"What do you mean?" She asks.
"What I mean is that I will take care of Mrs. Lincoln and her fucking ex-husband once and for all. They are going to regret the day they met me, especially Elena."
A surprised Leila stares at Christian as he takes her cell phone from her table and hands it over to her. "Christian, what are you up to?"
"Leila, you are going to call Elena and tell her that you are going through with her plan. You will tell her that you have started packing and will be ready to leave tomorrow for Seattle. Start packing Leila, you have a plane to catch tomorrow."
"But Christian, I don't understand, you're here right now. Elena is expecting me to try and get you to meet with me in Seattle. This is just so confusing." She drops her face between her hands.
"Leila, all you are going to do is just leave town for a few days. Since Elena already bought the plane ticket, you will have to make the flight to Seattle. She's already booked you a room in one of my hotels, if you can believe that. Anyways, just follow her plan, but the only person besides her you will be meeting with will be Taylor, I will take care of the rest." He notices the confusion on her face and asks. "What's wrong Leila?"
"You said the only person besides Elena I will be meeting with is Taylor; I thought that she will be expecting me to meet with you, not Taylor."
"Yes, we will let her think you will be meeting with me, but you won't Leila, you will be meeting with Taylor instead. As I mentioned before, I will take care of the rest."
"Then, when will we meet again Christian, how will I know that she won't go running to Raymond after she finds out that I never actually met you in Seattle?"
"Leila, please, let me deal with Elena from now on. All you have to do is simply take a few days off from work and spend them in Seattle. Taylor will be your contact and he will instruct you on what to do. After today Leila, you and I will not cross paths again. Do you understand now?"
She does not answer right away, instead she gets up to face the window and stares outside for a few seconds, lost in thought.
"Leila, do you understand what is going on here, what I am trying to do and why you and I can no longer have any contact after today?" He asks.
"Yes, I understand Christian. I always understood."
"Good, now, can you please call Elena before I leave?"
"Yes, I will, but before I do, can I ask you a couple of personal questions, please?"
Christian ponders for a moment before he answers. "Okay, ask."
"Did you ever feel anything other than lust for me?" She asks as she slowly turns to face him.
"You already asked me this question before Leila, and I answered it for you."
"I need to ask you again Christian."
He rubs his chin before he answers. "My answer is the same, no. I'm sorry Leila, but I was also in a bad state of mind when we met. I was unwilling to feel anything remotely close to love back then."
She offers a small smile as she looks down at the cell phone. "Is Anastasia the only woman you have ever loved?"
He answers without hesitating. "Yes, she is my one and only love. She is my life, my everything. She and my children are the reason why I am not the Christian you met years ago. I am another man now Leila."
Leila's eyes widen as he looks at her with a smirk.
"I understand now Christian. Thank you for being honest with me."
Christian simply nods.
"Okay, I guess I should be calling Elena now."
Christian puts his hand over her cell phone before asking. "Leila, before I go, I have to ask. When was the last time you spoke to Susi?"
"Susi, when was the last time you talked to her?"
"More than a year ago, I guess."
"Well, I guess Elena will be paying her a visit too, but she will be in for a surprise if she does."
I had planned to include a flashback between Anastasia and Isaac at the diner, but this chapter ran longer than I had intended it to be. I will include my flashback in my next chapter along with more interaction between Christian and Anastasia.
This chapter was harder to write because of Leila's mental state, as described in the books. Please keep in mind that this story if my point of view and I hope that I do not offend or upset readers who are sympathetic to her character or to individuals who suffer from mental illness. I simply wanted to get the point across that Leila is ultimately the person responsible for her own actions, her illness and not Christian's. I did not want to lay fault or responsibility on him regarding her illness in this story. Please let me know what you think.
Sorry for neglecting to acknowledge my reviewers, I have been very busy at work and planning a head for the holidays. So please, take the time to review, I do read all reviews eventually.