Authors Note: Hello! Ok, so I havent posted a fanfic for a while and was having withdrawal symptoms, I was given the prompt of 'duck' by my pal HungerGamesEnthusiast (You should check out her fic!) and made this, its strange but i've been told its humorous. So read on!

Rating: K

Disclaimer: ... No I don't own Harry Potter... yet.. *evil grin* LOL

Summary: Remus and Sirius have a early morning conversation about, ducks, indecent exposure, and the secret to awesomeness, you know the usual stuff.


"Wahh... nrgh.." *yawn*


"nrrrgghhh, Siri? Ugh, what time is it..?"

"Um.. 'bout 2:30"

"In the morning?!"


"Care to explain why you're waking me this early?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something"

"Can't it wait until later? Like.. at breakfast when the sun is up and I wont be asleep!"

"No, it can't wait Rem. This is a serious- Dont you dare go making a pun out of that!"

"I wont, what were you going to say?"

"This is a very serious matter, Remus. We need to talk, right now."

"Oh gosh, Siri, is everything alright? Did something happen?"

"Something did happen Remus, something life changing.."

"What is it?"

"So I was at the lake yesterday.. and I saw.. I-I saw.."

" saw?"



"DUCKS, REMUS! DUCKS! They were swimming! IN. THE. LAKE. Can you believe that?!"

*sigh* "Let me get this straight.. You woke me up at 2:30 in the morning to tell me you saw some ducks...?"


"You're unbelievable.."


"That wasnt a compliment"

"Well then"

"Why, in the name of Merlins beard, would you wake me up this early to talk about ducks?!"

"That is my personal business"

"What business do you have with ducks?!"

"... Ducks are cool"

"Not to me. At 2:30 AM ducks are not cool. Nothing is."

"Not even me? I am like, the definition of cool"

"Can't I just go back to sleep..?"

"No you can't, we are not done talking about ducks."

"But I don't wanna talk about ducks.."

"Too bad. So, Remus, how do you feel about ducks?"

"Ducks are great, now can I go back to sleep?"

"No, I want your honest opinion"

"Fine! Ducks are very... feathery..?"

"What do you like about ducks?"

"Um... I like the way they sound I guess.. quacks are.. nice..?"

"That answer was acceptable"

"Good. Now how about we both go back to sleep"

"But I'm not sleepy anymore"

"..Quick question. Is there any reason to your new fascination with ducks?"

"Well I guess you could say it was when professor Gaverick made us watch those old muggle cartoons in muggle studies"

"Oh lord.. It was Donald Duck right?"

"See that's something I don't understand.."

"You dont understand alot of things Sirius"

"Why is it that he wears a shirt and cap thingy but no pants? Isnt that like.. indecent exposure or something? I mean that's a children's cartoon, Remus!"

"No Siri, 'cause it's a cartoon, and he's not a real duck, and even if he was it wouldn't matter because its a duck, they're naked all the time."

"I wish I was a duck.."




"You know, me an' James have a theory that the ducks in the lake are actually ministry officials in animagus form, trying to figure out the secrets behind our awesomeness"

"You are ridiculous"


"Again, not a compliment"

"Hm.. an intriguing notion.."

"Wow. Those were big words for you, Sirius"


"Goodnight Sirius"

Authors Note 2: So...? What'd ya think? Constructive criticism poosh! -( crazy people talk for 'please'). Reviewers shall receive virtual... REDVINES. No not cookies. RED VINES. Thanks for reading! ;)