For Val. Yes, I'm aware the song doesn't quite fit the mood, but I didn't think you'd mind :P For all the lifts home, for fixing my laptop when it went crazy, and for the best braai meat in the history of braais. Ever :P Love you anh lớn. xxx
Crazy Little thing called Love- Queen
"I gotta be cool, relax, get hip,
Get on my tracks, take a back seat,
Hitch hike, and take a long ride on my motorbike,
Until I'm ready,
Crazy little thing called love."
It's still a little surreal. Sometimes you wake up in the morning under the impression that it was all a wonderful, perfect dream; find yourself taken aback a little when you glance across the bed towards the window, the side normally empty and cold, and see instead a mess of blonde curls splayed out across the pillow. It's a sight that always makes you smile, makes you feel all warm and joyful inside in ways that cannot possibly be put into words.
Because it reminds you that she's yours, all yours. All yours at long last, after years of what if's and maybes. Now, at long last, you have her forever.
Other mornings, you might get lucky enough to emerge from your slumber to find her pressed up against your chest, lips just millimetres from your own even in sleep, your arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her close. You could lie there forever just watching her sleep, you're almost certain of that. There's something incredibly comforting about the steady rise and fall of her chest, the perfectly content, peaceful look on her face as she curls further still into your body.
It reminds you that she's there, that she's yours, that the future you now face is one filled with promise and love and happiness and all of it because of her.
Because she's perfect. And you wouldn't be without her for the world.
But there are still plenty of mornings upon which you're dragged from a perfect dream of her by your alarm clock blaring loudly, only to wake up to a cold, empty space on the other side of the bed where her small body should be.
She hasn't moved in with you yet, not properly. You've both agreed that the best course of action is going to be to take it slow; this new-found love you now share between you has been a long time coming and the last thing either of you wants to do is to jeopardise it all by moving too fast.
And so for now, you're on 'sleepovers.' Just until you're both ready for the next natural progression in your relationship: moving in together for real.
In some ways, things haven't really changed an awful lot. Each night she comes over is more or less identical to your old Friday film nights as far as its pattern goes, right up until the point at which she would have headed home before. She'll come round to yours straight after work, you'll cook dinner together (or send out for a takeaway if the days' events have exhausted you both to the point that neither of you can muster the energy); she'll laugh that wonderful, rich laugh of hers at your complete lack of culinary skills, despite not being an awful lot better herself.
Then you'll curl up together on the sofa with whatever you've managed to come up with in the food department, choose a film on an alternate basis. Not that you pay an awful lot of attention to the film these days; both of you spend most of the time too wrapped up in each other's presence to notice anything else.
There's something about her which makes you feel so wonderfully alive in ways you can't even explain, ways that no one else you've ever been with has succeeded in doing before.
She makes your heart stop just a little, each and every time she brushes her lips seductively against yours, pulls you down on top of her and wraps her arms so tightly around your shoulders, tells you she loves you.
And she does, you know she does. When she tells you she loves you she's not just saying it like so many women you've been with, she means it with all of her heart, all of her soul, however cliché that sounds.
You know, because you feel exactly the same way about her.
This is love like you've never experienced it before in all of your days.
It scares you a little. You need her so much that a part of you just wants to grab hold of her and go the whole way, give in to your burning desire to have your way with her and indulge in a night of passion and love and sex and everything more you know she has to give you, that you have to give her.
But you can't.
You know in your heart of hearts that she's right, that neither of you are quite ready for this powerful next stage in your relationship just yet. You know she's just afraid as you are, hopes she craves you as much as you crave her.
And so for now, you can wait.
For now, you can be content with just being with her, holding her, knowing both of you are so much in love you'll wait for that perfect time before you go the whole way.
You want to wait until the time is right, make it special for her.
You have to be ready, both of you.
And one day soon, you know you will be.
I'm not too sure about this one, hence procastinating putting it up, but I did promise you'd get everything I wrote on that flight so I thought I didn't really have much choice :P Sorry for being absent for a week, I'm having a writing fest this evening to make up for it :) They'll be more as soon as I've typed it up, it's been ready and waiting by my laptop for days but homework has taken over :( More soon, promise.