Castiel stretched his wings. Though no human could see them, they were still there, and it felt amazing to stretch them out their full length once in a while. He looked at his hands and sighed, lonely without the Winchester brothers in this empty hotel room. He was an angel, what could possibly entertain him in this mortal world? Lying back on the soft mattress, he stared up at the ceiling, thinking about Dean. He smiled, his eyes closed now, at the thought of the smoky brown hair and soft green eyes of the older hunter. The angel looked up to Dean, respected him like nothing before, except for his Father, the Lord. Why had God brought the brothers and this isolated angel together? Cas knew why, but he asked himself all the same. Sam Winchester was meant to be Lucifer's vessel, Dean Winchester to be Michael's. The Archangel brothers in Heaven, meant to fight to the death on Earth. But that was all over now, and the apocalypse had been postponed; at least until Raphael made a move.
The angel sighed again, opening his eyes. He appeared in front of the small bathroom and stepped inside, running his hands under the warm shower water. He dropped the heavy tan trench coat onto the white tiled floor and looked at the reflection in the mirror. This wasn't his face, but the face of some human host who'd prayed for it. The crooked tie around his neck seemed out of place now, so Cas removed it with careful hands. Now the wrinkled white shirt felt heavy and burdensome, so it was thrown onto the floor as well. These damn dress pants, the angel thought. He had no idea that his clothes were meant to be off when showering, but it didn't matter, because it felt wrong anyway, especially when he stepped under the stream in a loose pair of black and white boxer shorts. His face was stern and confused, frustrated, but he removed the boxers and threw them in a wet heap onto the tiles.
He closed his eyes and let the water batter lightly against his face. It was a nice temperature, soothing, and he began to realize why the brothers took showers nightly. He turned, and the feeling of the steaming liquid on his wings made him shutter with pleasure. He leaned, the water still drenching the feathers, and put a hand on the opposite wall of the shower stall, hanging his head and letting the drops run off of his nose and chin and down the short, smooth strands of hair. He let out an audible sigh and stretched his neck slowly to the side. He was so relaxed, but he couldn't help but notice the faint scent of pine… He opened the curtain and looked around, sniffing the air, but nothing smelled outside of the stall. Closing the curtain again he looked around inside the shower and sniffed, his eyes being drawn to a sudsy bar of soap on the ground near his feet. He reached for it but it slipped out of his fingers, and he became frustrated at the slippery rectangle. Finally deciding to grab at it with two hands, he held it away from him, as if it were dangerous. He stared, and slowly brought it to his nose, sniffing it and smiling at the fragrance.
Now he wondered what to do with it. He looked around and behind him, shivering a bit before stepping back under the running water. The bar slipped again and Cas gripped at it several times before it settled back into his hands. He glared at it. He thought it was some sort of sorcery, this rectangle that kept jumping away from him. The tighter he gripped, the further it jumped. He held his palms flat, and again kept the bar at arms' length away from him. The little rectangle made his hands feel slimy and he didn't like it, so he threw it out onto the tile with the wet heap of underwear. He thought about what could possibly be fun about the evil little block, but couldn't think of anything productive, so he disregarded it and picked up the little blue bottle of shampoo instead. He read the back, and it said, "Apply generously to the roots of the hair, massaging into the scalp until lathered. Leave in for one minute and rinse thoroughly. Apply conditioner as desired." His eyes blinked to the word "generously" and he shrugged, emptying the contents of the bottle onto his head. He started to rub the slimy liquid with his hands until a ferocious pain burned his eyes. He screamed, smacking his hands over his eyes and bursting out of the shower and through the flimsy wooden door, falling onto the carpet in writhing pain.
"Cas? What the Hell, why are you naked?" Dean's voice asked, flustered. The panicking angel could hear the hunter, but couldn't see him, so he yelled out for Dean to help him.
"I don't know what's going on, Dean, my eyes are burning!" He screamed, flailing about on the floor.
"Whoa, hold on, Cas. Come on," Dean spoke, over Cas's screams and the sound of the running water in the bathroom. "Sam, go do something." Dean ordered his brother. Sam let out a chuckle and turned, closing the door as he left. Dean lifted the writhing angel and led him back into the bathroom.
"Why is the soap on the floor?" Dean asked, running Castiel's head under the water. Cas mumbled. "Cas… Have you never taken a shower?" Dean asked, a little reproachful and somewhat humored at the same time.
"I knew you and Sam did, so I thought…" He pulled his head back, the stinging in his eyes gone. He shook his head, and water flew onto Dean's clothes.
"Aw, Cas," The hunter groaned. Castiel looked back at him, his eyes wide and sparkling with sorrow. "Whatever, don't worry about it…" Dean sighed, taking his jacket off. Cas recognized the gesture and asked, "Are you taking a shower too?" Dean blushed and he looked at the naked angel, embarrassed.
"Not with you," He said, clearing his throat. Castiel asked why. "It's just… It's weird. I don't know."
"But… You and Sam have taken showers together." Cas's face was solid and in thought.
"Yeah, when we were like, five, because we're brothers," Dean pretended to ruffle his hair in the mirror so he didn't keep staring at the angel. "But I mean…"
"I look at you as if you were my brother, Dean," Cas mentioned. "I promise it won't be… Weird." He was sincere; all he wanted was for Dean to teach him to be more human, because as much as he wasn't human, Cas just despised being socially awkward. Dean flushed red again, and turned to Cas, sighing.
"Fine," Dean said, not sure why he was agreeing to such an unusual situation. "I'm gonna take a shower with a fricking angel. It's not weird," He babbled as he drew back the curtain and felt the water; it was still warm. "Totally not weird." He reached over for the soap that was on the tile and tossed it into the shower. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans.
"What is that thing?" Cas asked, embarrassed. Dean blushed, hiding himself and looking down at his boxers, which were lying safely on the floor. "No, I meant that….the soap." His emphasis on the word sounded forced, and confused. Dean sighed at the oblivious angel, who stood exposed and unfazed.
"You rub it on yourself and it kills germs and makes you smell like fricking daisies, alright? Get in." Castiel took a step forward and looked at the bar of soap, sitting on the floor of the stall.
"It smells more like pine needles, De-"
"Get in," Dean growled. "Just, get in." Castiel looked at him with innocent eyes, and Dean blushed again. Looking away and holding open the shower curtain, he waited for the angel to step in.
Cas stepped into the steamy water and shuttered again as the streams trickled down his feathers. He put his hand on the opposite wall of the shower again and leaned, letting the water fall. Dean peeked through the curtain, still a bit nervous. He gazed upon the angel, the sleek, sculpted form looking like a statue of Adonis. He looked Cas up and down, in awe of his sheer beauty as he leaned, the water tracing every line of his body. Castiel was oblivious again, and just enjoyed the feeling of warmth on his wings. Dean tensed and stepped in, pushing Cas lightly aside to drench himself in the falling water. Cas stood awestruck for a moment, not knowing what to do, but he looked at Dean now the same way that Dean had inconspicuously gazed at him just seconds before. The hunter was strong, muscular; and at the same time fragile, vulnerable. His hands smoothed softly over the moist, sand-colored hair and the water fell lightly down his stern face. His mouth was solid and his eyes were closed, until he ran his hands across his water-stained face and the lips parted for a breath. Castiel let his lips part as well, staring at Dean as though he were even more fascinating and beautiful than any Heavenly entity.
Dean could feel the angel looking, but he didn't mind now; in fact, he tried a little harder than usual to look strong and attractive, hoping his own handsome image would drown out the memory of Castiel's. But it didn't; he opened his eyes and in fact saw Cas looking at him, but the sparkly eyes made Dean melt. The angel's eyes had moved lower on Dean's body now, and he gazed at the sharp torso. The angel was confused; this feeling felt familiar, like the time where he was with the brothers and watching what Dean had called "porn". He remembered Dean's frustration with him that night and immediately turned away. Dean blinked and wiped some of the running water from his forehead.
"What?" He asked, looking now to the angel's back and the slightly darker spots on the shoulders where his wings would be, if Dean could see them. Cas looked just barely over his shoulder at the hunter.
"I don't want you to be upset with me," He murmured, only loud enough for Dean to hear. "I have a…weird…feeling." The word "weird" tasted sour on Castiel's tongue as he remembered his promise to Dean.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked calmly. He already knew what Cas meant, but for some sadistic reason, he wanted to hear him say it.
"I… I'm not sure… Do you… Remember the pizza man?" Castiel asked, quietly and shyly. "Do you remember how it made you feel the first time you watched his encounter with that babysitter woman?" Dean was confused now, but he remembered the video he'd caught Castiel watching that one night. His lips parted with a quiet "oh", and he looked around, not knowing why. Cas was quiet and looked back at the wall, his back still facing Dean.
The angel felt hands on his shoulders and he was spun around, his wings pressed against the cool wall, and he was inches away from Dean's face. Dean's face was hot; not from the water, because it had turned cool now from running for an extended time, but he didn't care. His eyes jetted slowly but hungrily around Castiel's face, examining it for emotion. He saw confusion, fear, but most of all nervousness. The hunter grinned to himself.
"Yeah, Cas, I remember the pizza man," He smiled, leaning closer, his eyes focused carefully on the softly parted lips of the angel. "Remember how it made you feel?"
"I…I feel it, Dean." Castiel stuttered, nervously. Dean could feel it too; it was teasing and solid, and it was below Castiel's waist. Me too, Dean thought to himself. For a moment there were no words, but Dean leaned in and crushed the angel's innocent lips against his own. Cas was confused. He didn't know why Dean was kissing him, but he kind of enjoyed it. He thought about the pizza man for a second and pushed Dean away, turning him around and pressing him against the cool tile, moving his lips and wrapping his wings in a heavy embrace around both of them.
Dean blushed at Castiel's passionate motion. He could feel the presence of the wings around him and the dampness dripping from the invisible feathers. Thank God for the pizza man, he thought to himself, kissing wildly and grabbing at Cas's wet, croppy hair. The angel didn't let up, feeling some sort of competition in him whenever Dean tried to kiss harder than him.
"Dean," Castiel spoke, his eyes still closed. "What-"
Dean interrupted with another kiss, and a tight grip that made the angel inhale quickly. The hunter's tongue invaded the other's mouth, and the damp wings were pressed against the wall again. The shower water was cool; it regulated the heat of the moment and felt like a rush of excitement every time a drop hit Dean's skin. He wondered what the angel was thinking now, and his hand moved and gripped. He smiled as Cas squirmed a bit, little muffled moans escaping into Dean's mouth.
Dean stopped suddenly, hearing a door close. He let go of Castiel and put a hand over the angel's mouth, letting a quiet "shh" slither through his teeth.
"Sammy? That you?" He yelled. He heard Sam's voice say "yeah", and he gritted his teeth, quietly damning himself.
"You in the shower?" Sam yelled.
"Yeah," Dean replied, a hand still over Castiel's mouth. He stared intently at the other's eyes. "Be out in a bit."
"Don't worry about it, I'm heading over to Bobby's anyway," Sam said, right outside the smashed-down bathroom door. Dean sighed quietly, relief and a bit of naughtiness flooding his veins through his already rapid pulse. "Where'd Cas go?" Dean's eyes flashed to the direction of Sam's voice and he thought up an excuse.
"He just left," He said, swallowing a lump in his throat and looking back at the angel, who was clearly very confused, but also knew to keep his mouth shut. "Said he'd be back in a while."
"Alright," Sam said, walking away. "Gimme a call if you need me." Dean answered with a sincere "sure" and waited for the sound of the closing door. Upon hearing the satisfying "click", Dean's eyes flashed back to the angel. His hand was still over Cas's mouth, but he slowly lowered it, replacing the moist palm with water-streamed lips. Cas crushed his lips down again, mimicking the hunter's earlier motion and tying his tongue into Dean's.
Castiel felt Dean's hand grip again, in the same manner that made him inhale loudly. The angel wondered if Dean would enjoy this too… And so he moved his hand down quickly and firmly, grasping at the hard member between Dean's sculpted hips. Dean inhaled with a hiss, stealing the air out of Castiel's mouth and biting lightly at the innocent lips. Following the pattern, Cas mimicked Dean, but with more intensity, causing the hunter to yelp in pain when the teeth drew blood.
"Did I hurt you, Dean? I'm sorry," Cas breathed. Dean licked at the blood, but kept his hands planted where he wanted them.
"I'm fine," He answered, throbbing with urge and lust. "Really." Cas's eyebrows furrowed, and he lightly touched the lips with his finger. Dean felt the coolness of healing surge through the pain, and he licked at the vanished wound. He had been healed by the angel's touch before, but somehow this time made him crazy. He looked at Cas, and blinked some of the water away. Castiel smiled, and his eyes sparkled.
Dean lost it. That face, that touch, that ass….He had to have all of him; NOW.
Castiel was shocked at first at the hungry glare of the hunter. He almost wondered if this was what Dean looked like just before he slayed a demon. It almost scared him.
"Dean," He said, his voice low again. "What are you looking at?"
"Cas, turn around," Dean demanded, with a lustful timbre that made Castiel flinch.
"What? I-I don't-"
"Just DO it," Dean almost yelled at him, grabbing at the slender shoulders and pressing the angel's chest against the opposing wall. Dean thought he could feel the trembling feathers touching his skin where Cas's back and his chest met. He throbbed again and gripped the shoulders tighter. "Cas." He growled.
"Dean, what is going on? Are you okay?" Cas tried to look back at Dean, but the hunter moved a hand up to prevent eye contact, and Cas's face was forced lightly against the dripping tiles. The words rang in Dean's head; he was almost angry at Castiel's concern for his well-being, considering what Dean was thinking of doing to him in a matter of seconds. The hunter gritted his teeth in anticipation, listening to the sound of the running water and the angel's apprehensive breathing.
The last thing he wanted was to hurt Castiel. This angel that raised him from perdition meant the world to him, and held a place in his heart that was almost as warm as where Sammy resided therein. But he couldn't help it; the pressure was building at the teasing belief of wet wings embracing him, brushing up against him in the most innocent of ways. The angel's innocence drove the Dean crazy. He was so oblivious. Dean almost wished that Cas knew about these things, more about them than he'd watched on TV by accident. He felt Cas tremble, but he wasn't sure whether or not the illusive shiver was because of the cold or the worry, but he assumed the later of the two. Dean's strong fingers gripped tightly against Castiel's smooth shoulders and he breathed the irritation out onto the drops of water lingering on the back of the angel's neck.
"Are you upset with me, Dean?" Cas asked softly, turning his head just enough to make Dean want to run his tongue across the slender mandible. He found that he couldn't answer the question truthfully, because so many raw emotions were coursing through his brain. Of course he was upset, but why? Why? Because Cas was clueless or because he was upset with himself, for what he was about to do? He gritted his teeth and clenched Castiel's shoulders again, feeling the tensing feathers on his chest. "Do… Do you want to hurt me, Dean?" Cas stuttered. At these words, Dean had had enough. He took the slender shoulders and turned them again, so Cas could observe the lust in his eyes.
"Yeah, Cas. I wanna hurt you," Dean growled. "Do you want to hurt me?" Castiel blinked for a moment.
"No, I would never-"…And his words were cut off by a sharp inhale. The pleasure pulsed directly from him and into Dean's clenched hand, which had again found a home below Castiel's waist.
The angel was confused. Why did Dean want to hurt him? Had he done something wrong? He looked to the man before him and examined him. His right hand was in a very peculiar place, and the left hand was still rested on his shoulder, but applying quite a bit of force. Dean was biting his lip, and Cas again wondered why, until the lips were stitched roughly into his own. The kiss felt nice, until the sharp sting of teeth bit them.
"Hurt me, Cas," Dean hissed, gripping his left hand around the angel's neck and biting at the lips some more. "Hurt me."
Castiel had no other choice. He had nothing but respect for Dean, so therefore he wanted to do everything Dean asked of him, but that didn't mean without hesitation. He heard Dean's request again and felt his grip tighten on both hands, and he proceeded to snap a hand up and around the hunter's throat, almost mirroring his.
"Yeah," Dean smiled, and flushed red. "More." Castiel hesitated, but gripped harder, and lifted Dean off of the wet shower-stall floor. Dean gripped and gasped for breath, but Cas thought it was all part of the game. With a last tightened grip, he flung Dean out of the shower and out onto the hard, cold tile with the dirty laundry. Dean hacked.
"Cas, what the Hell?" He coughed. Castiel's eyes softened.
"I'm sorry." He blushed, keeping a slight eye on Dean to make sure he was okay. Dean got up off of the cold floor and tilted his head, cracking his neck. His head straightened and his eyes opened, and a large grin spread lustfully across his face. Without a word, Dean sprang forward and slammed Cas back against the tile, grabbing his shoulders and throwing him out of the stall as well. When he landed, Cas let out a little yelp of pain as a piece of the broken wood door plunged into his shoulder blade under the force of Dean's weight. Dean disregarded it, however, and just took the yelp as more of a reason to tear the angel apart. He flipped Castiel onto his stomach and pulled the piece out of his flesh, feeling the feathers again, this time with a force that almost pushed him off of his mount on Castiel's back. Dean thought he heard Cas say his name again, but the sound of the water running and the squeaking of Cas's wet hands on the floor made it inaudible. Dean's feet pushed back and he laid down on Cas's back, so his hardness could play at the angel's wet backside. Dean pushed his palm against the wound on Castiel's back and breathed into his ear.
"That's it, Cas. Let it happen," He demanded, reaching down and feeling at the tight, wet hole that kept itself just out of reach…but not for long. "Yeah." Dean breathed. He noticed Castiel's hands were no longer grabbing for a hold, and they weren't trying to help him escape anymore. Dean smiled and kissed lightly and Castiel's temple.
The hunter thought for a moment as his hips moved softly across Castiel's back. He gnawed lightly at the angel's ear, and remembered the yelp of pain. Shouldn't angels not be able to feel pain? He gritted his teeth with the now overwhelming lust, and heard Cas scream out the second he was entered. Dean exhaled loudly, the feeling of the tight hole almost causing him to orgasm right there on the bathroom floor. It had been so long since he'd had intercourse, with anyone; he felt himself wanting and needing to get even more carried away.
The hunter moved slowly, listening intently to every cry of pain out of the angel's lips with each thrust of the muscular hips. He knew that Castiel was confused, and he knew that they would never be the same; but he didn't want them to be. He wanted the angel to know his hidden feelings, and his fearlessness in the moment—in showing it.
"Cas," He growled, softer now, less aggressive. "Cas," He repeated. He noticed that Cas had stopped yelling out, and he was worried at the stillness. He stopped moving. "Cas?"
The second the angel had the chance, he turned, grabbed Dean's shoulders and flipped him over angrily, not even playing before taking the hunter even rougher than he had been taken. Dean screamed, and he could feel the orifice tear open, and the warm sting of blood well up inside. Dean wasn't expecting this, not one bit, and he wasn't even sure if he was enjoying it; but maybe that's what Castiel intended, to punish him for what he had done. Dean couldn't move, couldn't do anything beneath the angel's painful grip except scream and beg. He almost regretted now asking Cas to hurt him. He was a little masochistic, but not this much. He had bled more times than he could count in this "profession", or whatever hunting monsters was considered; but he had never hated bleeding this much before.
"Cas!" He screamed, his fist tearing through the air and cracking against the angel's face. Castiel froze, a look of pure shock on his face. Cas looked back at Dean, and noticed the shimmer of tears flooding up his eyes. The angel looked down at the blood, and back to the pained face.
"Dean, I…" He stuttered, clearly confused. Didn't Dean ask to be hurt? Was there a limit that he didn't know about? "I'm so sorry…" The angel stood and began to gather the heap of damp clothes from the floor. Dean opened his mouth, in an attempt to beg Cas to stay and not to go, but all that came out was a sob. He couldn't even sit up. One thing was for sure: Castiel really didn't know his own strength with humans when he got carried away, and Dean knew it. Before Castiel walked out the door he paused, turned to Dean with a devastated expression and stared. Dean stared back, crying from the pain. Cas had never seen the strong man before him in such a state, and he couldn't bear the fact that it was his fault. He leaned over and put a hand on Dean's shoulder, staring a second longer before kissing him on the forehead and disappearing.
"Dean, you okay?" Sam asked, walking through the hotel door and seeing his brother sitting on the bed, looking depressed.
"Yeah, Sammy, I'm fine," He lied, his fingers tangled together and gripped tight. "Just… I'm fine."
"Dean…" Sam pried. With silence and a look of woe as a response, the taller man left his brother alone, walking past him and to the bathroom. "Dean? Why is there blood on the floor?" Dean didn't respond.
"Cas, if you can hear me," Dean prayed, outside the hotel room and staring up at the clear sky. "Cas… I forgive you. I forgive you and I'm sorry," He looked down at his shaking hands and silently cursed himself, for being so blinded by lust. "I'm so sorry…" He sat on the concrete and put his head in his hands, sobbing lightly again.
"Dean," He heard, looking up to see the trench-coated angel before him, his hands to his sides and his tie madly crooked. "I heard your prayer…" He seemed insistent on not looking Dean in the face.
"Cas…" Was all Dean managed to say. He jumped up and wrapped his arms around the angel, holding him tightly.
"I'm sorry, Dean, and I-"
"I love you, Cas," Dean sobbed, cutting Castiel off mid-sentence. "I love you. Please don't go again." The angel was silent for a moment.
"I won't leave you again, Dean. If that's what you wish," Dean nodded, his face still buried in Castiel's shoulder. Cas returned the hunter's embrace and sighed, still not understanding fully how the human brain works. "Love is complicated."
"It sure is," Dean laughed, leaning back to look at the angel's ice blue eyes. "But hey, are you complaining? You got me now. Come on." He laughed again, and Cas smiled.