When My Life Began

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This story is an off shoot from "Things That Make You Go Hummm," by Dracom Blade.What he wrote will appear in bold italics below in Chapter 1.

Rated "M" for language and sexual innuendo.

A/N: This story is A/U and most things will be changed of course. If you want Canon read the seven books by Jack Rowling. Harry is powerful in this story and has learned a lot of things not taught at Hogwarts.

Disclaimer: Any character, physical place, or magic you recognize from Harry Potter books or movies belong to Joanne "Jo" Rowling and/or anyone she has granted a license too. This includes her publishers and Warner Brothers. What you recognize from Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and those he granted licenses to. If you recognize another character from a fanfic you have read that was published before this, please inform me, so I can give proper credit where it is due. With over 600,000 fanfics on , it's highly probable this will happen although I will do my best to avoid it. This is the last Disclaimer you will see as it covers all chapters.

The following is a description, of how I write various monies, languages, thoughts, dates, and times.

§Parseltongue§ thoughts or mind speak [Foreign language]

₲1 = 1 Galleon, S1 = 1 Sickle, K1 = 1 Knut

£1 = 1 British Pound Sterling, $1 = 1 U.S. Dollar, ₲1 = £10 = $15.00

Temperature is in degrees Fahrenheit.

Dates are in the form of; day month year (2 May 1998) Time is in the 24-hour format 1300 hours = 1:00 p.m., and 2000 hours is 8:00 p.m. A day begins at 00:00:01 hours and ends at 2400hrs. All times, unless otherwise noted, are local times.

This short story has not been betaed.

Chapter 1

30 June 2167, 2130 hours

Harry James Potter lay on his bed at Potter Manor knowing he was dying. He thought it funny that his death would be on his 187th birthday. Harry had spent the evening reviewing his life and except for the first eleven years he thought it went well. The years between the time he turned eleven and a month before his 17th birthday had their ups and downs. As far as he was concerned his life began the first week of July 1997. Harry smiled as he thought of that period of time in his life.

Flashback

2 September 1996 - Headmaster's office, Hogwarts, - 1900 hours.

Dumbledore smiled as Harry entered the office. "Thank you for being so prompt Harry, we have much to discuss."

"You're welcome sir. I assumed this was important." The sixteen-year-old Harry Potter replied.

"Quite right my boy, I assume your portkey worked all right?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Yes sir. Did you know the room stops time if you ask it to?" Harry asked, recognized the shock on the old man's face knowing that he didn't know that about the Room of Requirement.

"As you can tell by my surprise, I didn't know that. How much time can you get in there for each hour outside of the room?" Dumbledore asked smiling at Harry. The old man figured Harry would have pushed it to the maximum.

"Sir I believe you missed what I said. I have yet to find a maximum since the outside shows no time has elapsed. Of course, I'll admit my longest stretch in the room was 750 hours. Fortunately, the room provides food, a bathroom, and a bedroom." Harry replied grinning like a loon.

Dumbledore shook his head and suggested they go to the room, and Harry agreed. It was Harry's turn to be shocked when Albus walked to a new door and indicated for Harry to follow him. Harry did and found himself inside a dueling arena. Dumbledore asked Harry to stop time, which he did, so Albus showed him how to create a semi-permanent portal. Normally, if you created a portal, a person had to remain inside the room, or it would disappear. Dumbledore had found out how to create one that would remain until the room was told to remove it.

Harry also asked the room for two clocks, one to indicate the room time and the other to indicate the outside time. During the next seven months Dumbledore and Harry worked on Harry's wandless magic, using a patronus to communicate, and battle magic. Battle magic included, charms, transfiguration, stealth, sword fighting, knife fighting, and modern weapons, including guns. Albus also worked with Harry on Occlumency and Legilimency. Harry could defend his mind to the point that Dumbledore didn't know Harry was using the room to go to and from Gringotts. During this time, Dumbledore showed Harry memories of what he had discovered about Voldemort.

oooOOOooo

At Gringotts, Harry found that he was Lord Potter, and Lord Black. While meeting with his account manager a goblin named Stripeclaw, Harry asked what it would cost to be checked out by goblin healers. When asked why Harry told Stripeclaw about his link to Voldemort as well as his being malnourished. It cost him ₲20 to get checked out and another ₲125 to get his eyes fixed, a piece of Voldemort's soul removed from his scar, and potions to take care of his malnutrition. After the visit, he told Stripeclaw about Voldemort making at least six horcruxes. Harry told the goblin, he had destroyed one that Lucius Malfoy had sent to Hogwarts.

Stripeclaw set up a meeting with Ragnok and the Goblin Council about Voldemort's soul pieces. Harry told the goblins what he knew and suspected. He said if one of Voldemort's Inner Circle had a horcrux, it was possible others did as well. He told them that Voldemort's name was actually Tom Marvolo Riddle, and he was the son of Tomas Riddle and Merope Gaunt. Harry added that Voldemort grew up in an orphanage that he hated, and his favorite place was Hogwarts.

Stripeclaw then spent several hours telling Harry about how Dumbledore had set him up and stole nearly a million galleons from him. Harry didn't know if he was more pissed about his magic being bound or the stealing. Harry and Stripeclaw agreed to take no action against Dumbledore until Harry turned seventeen. After the meeting, Harry went back to Hogwarts. There Harry decided that he would act like he still respected and followed Dumbledore's lead. However, in reality, he would be his own man no longer under Dumbledore's thumb.

Harry asked the Room of Requirement to stop time, and then asked for it to give him anything Tom Riddle hid in the castle. Harry was surprised when a cabinet like the one he had seen Draco buy in Knockturn Alley arrived. On top of the cabinet was a mannequin head with a tiara on it. Not wanting to do something stupid Harry went back to the bank and told Stripeclaw what he found. Stripeclaw and three goblin curse breakers returned to Hogwarts with Harry and identified the diadem or tiara as a Horcrux.

"Lord Potter we will take this back to Gringotts and remove the soul piece. It along with the one removed from your scar can be used to locate the others and Voldemort. I suspect this is Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem and will place it in your family vault once it's cleansed." Stripeclaw told Harry.

"Shouldn't it belong to Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

A shocked Stripeclaw replied, "Why? Rowena Ravenclaw was married to Godric Gryffindor, and they are your grandparents several times removed. You're the primary heir."

"I never knew that Stripeclaw, I was raised by my muggle aunt and uncle. I came into the wizard world on my eleventh birthday, and the bank is the first wizard place other than the Leaky Cauldron I was ever in." Harry told his account manager.

"Do you have time to talk tonight?" Stripeclaw questioned.

Harry smiled stating, "I had the room stop time, so there will be no elapsed time outside of this room when we leave it."

The goblin's eyes got larger, and he laughed saying, "Harry, while we can compress time where ten minutes outside is a month inside, but this is even better. When the healers put you out to fix your body and remove the soul piece it took them four months in time compression. Our medical wing and house elves take care of food, but what do you do about food, sleep, and bathing?"

Harry replied, "Stripeclaw the room provides what I ask for when I ask for it. My friend Dobby told me about the room saying the elves, and some students store unused or unwanted things in it. That's why I thought Voldemort may have hidden a horcrux here in this wonderful room."

Stripeclaw sent the curse breakers to the bank with instructions to remove the soul piece and use it with the first one to create two detectors so that they could locate the others. He then spent over three inside hours teaching Harry about his legacy. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw lines had been merged with the Potters for over six centuries. What Harry gained was the ability to apparate and portkey through the Hogwarts wards plus additional votes on the Wizengamot that had been in the family for years.

Stripeclaw told him he was considered a goblin friend and ally. The goblin explained that goblin friends received better rates of return on their investments and lower charges for services. Harry was shocked when he asked how many goblin friends there were and Stripeclaw said, "one … you." With that being said Stripeclaw left for Gringotts.

Harry remembered that he needed to destroy the cabinet. He used Reducto to explode the cabinet then asked the room for a fireplace and burned the remains of the cabinet. After finishing that, Harry spent several hours working on his wandless magic. He then asked the room for a place to sleep and a bathroom. After getting six hours of sleep and a shower, Harry asked for books on wizard transportation methods. The room provided seven books and three of them told him about a method of travel called shifting. After reading about it and apparation he found out shifting was silent and safer than disapparation since you either shifted or didn't. You could leave body parts behind with disapparation but not with shifting. After several practice shifts, Harry shifted to his bed.

The next Friday was a Hogsmeade weekend so Harry went to Gringotts to make a withdrawal. Harry's combined fortune was well over ₲350 million most of it in 24K gold bars weighing ten kilograms or 22 pounds. Gringotts would convert a bar, approximately 320 Troy ounces to 640₲ or £6400. However, in London, a bar of gold that weight would bring £80,000 or a 1250 percent increase in value. Since the price of gold was decreasing, and Harry had no need to exchange more than two bars, he did that. Then he opened a Muggle bank account with Barclays and went back to Gringotts and from there to the school. Two days later, he used his new debit card he bought nearly £250 worth of clothes that fit him. He didn't buy fancy but functional. He was more concerned with getting what would fit and wear well.

When he returned to Hogwarts, he asked for a meeting with Dumbledore, and the old man agreed to meet him after dinner. As he got up to follow the Headmaster after dinner, Harry heard Hermione ask, "Harry where are you going again?"

"I have a detention with the Headmaster, Hermione." Harry said and followed Dumbledore not turning around to talk to her. He heard her huff and shook his head deciding it was time to set his friends straight about a few things.

In Dumbledore's office Harry asked, "Sir, have you asked the room for information about your cursed hand yet?"

"No Harry, I hadn't even thought of it as a source of information. But it may be a good idea would you like to join me?"

Room of Requirement

Harry agreed and they used Dumbledore's portal to get into the room. In his infinite wisdom, Dumbledore asked for books on curses. Harry then asked for information on curses that would cause flesh to die and counter curses if there were any. Dumbledore got several hundred books, and Harry got three.

Dumbledore smiled and said, "Ahh yes the wisdom of youth, thank you Harry let's look at yours first if you don't mind."

Harry asked the room for zero outside time and passed a book to Dumbledore while he wandlessly conjured a recliner and sat down opening the book he kept.

"Nice looking chair Harry is it comfortable?" Dumbledore muttered, as he looked the recliner over.

"Very much so," Harry replied and conjured a second recliner then told the old man how it worked.

Twenty minutes or so later Harry heard, "if I was a bit more tired I might find myself falling asleep in this my boy."

Harry sniggered while saying, "It's a trap many fall into sir. Room could we have a pitcher of tea, with cream and sugar on the side, and two cups please." Harry then conjured a table between the two chairs.

Fifteen minutes later Harry handed Dumbledore his book and asked him to read the right-hand page. While Dumbledore read the page, Harry went to the loo. When he returned Dumbledore handed Harry the book he had started reading. The curses and counters were the same. Both books included a potion that would regrow the dead flesh, veins, and nerves. Dumbledore conjured several hairless mice while Harry cast the curse then the counter.

"Harry, cast the counter on my hand please. Keep in mind that I have nothing to lose and a lot to gain." Dumbledore said with hope in his voice and tears in his eyes.

Harry cast the counter and both of their hearts sank when nothing happened.

Suddenly Harry yelled, "Sir, look above your hand at your forearm. The skin seems to be coming back to its original color."

"Harry, I do believe you're right," a happy Dumbledore exclaimed.

Harry smiled and replied, "I guess it makes sense. The curse didn't immediately kill the flesh so there was no real reason to expect the counter to cure the damage immediately."

The old man went into his Headmaster mode and said, "I get the feeling you've been holding back in classes Harry. Even with this wonderful room you couldn't have learned this much so soon."

Harry sighed replying, "Headmaster, I was beaten if I did better in school than Dudley, so I had to dumb myself down. I got into the habit of doing that, and my first potions class with Snape indicated I had another bully on my hands. I did the same thing here which was not my plan. That was all well and good until the Triwizard Tournament, well actually learning the patronus to save my life I guess. I had to let a bit show in defense last year for the DA but even then I couldn't show all I know."

Harry paused and sipped his tea before continuing. "It was last year that I found out about the time function on this room after one of Snape's mind rapes. I also found that he wasn't teaching me Occlumency but raping my mind and opening it up to Voldemort. It's funny I discovered the room would provide information when I wished. In my mind I asked for information on Occlumency. The hard part was letting Snape keep entering my mind rather than capturing him there and setting a Hungarian Horntail on him. But I will tell you this, he works for Voldemort."

"Harry…"

Harry interrupted with, "If you let a Legilimens enter your mind it opens a path to theirs. I saw his deepest darkest secrets Headmaster. He may have said he loved my mother, but he didn't even before she started dating Dad. He gained his mark by raping the gutting a six or seven-year-old girl who had performed accidental magic. What gets me is that he wants to do it repeatedly. One day, I'll kill him hopefully not in class, but it will happen. I know Draco has been told to kill you, and Snape is his backup. I'll agree he's a spy, but for Voldemort not you."

"Harry…"

"Albus you're refusing to listen. Room a pensieve with large projection capability please."

A pensieve appeared on a pedestal, and Harry showed Dumbledore the memory of Snape taking the mark. The next one he showed was when Voldemort ordered Snape to act like a spy for the old Muggle loving fool. He also showed the one where Snape reported the location of the Longbottoms to the Lestranges after Voldemort was banished. The next one he showed was more recent. It showed how Snape leads the team that included Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle to a Muggle family, so they could earn their mark. Harry then showed Voldemort thanking Snape for opening Harry's mind to him and Snape saying that it would be more open next school year.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore sat in his recliner shocked to the core. However, Harry wasn't done yet.

"I've accepted my lordships for the House of Potter and Black. While at the bank, I had the soul piece behind my scar removed, and my body healed. What you see in front of you is goblin glamour." Harry told the old man then stood up and removed the glamour.

Harry morphed into a six foot two inch, well-muscled young man without glasses as he continued his talk.

"Tom was a fool when he possessed me. Once I got past the initial shock, I downloaded his memories. I spent nearly a week throwing out most of them but kept his knowledge of his horcruxes and his fighting techniques. The last thing I did was plant what is known as a worm. It allows me to receive his thoughts and store them to view at my leisure. The exception to that is if he sends his Death Eaters on a raid or is planning one. He's currently entrenching his people in the Ministry to take it over next summer. If that happens Muggleborns are to be rounded up and tortured before being killed in camps not unlike what Hitler did."

After pausing for a drink of his re-warmed tea, Harry continued. "Dumbledore these people are animals and cannot be brought back to the light. While that is a worthy goal in peacetime, it's a piss poor way to run a war. I almost got Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville, and Ginny killed at the Ministry because we used non-lethal hexes against lethal ones. I'm not saying to murder the Death Eaters, but they must be taken out of a fight. Stunning Death Eaters won't do that. Is the Avada Kedavra really worse than a Reducto to the head or chest? Why can the bad guys throw curses that can't be blocked, but the good guys can't?"

Dumbledore sat up straight and said, "The unforgivable curses must be fueled by hate, and that can lead you down a dark path as they become easy to use Harry."

Harry smiled and said, "It's true they can be fueled by hate, but they can also be fueled by righteous anger. I know for a fact that Aurors were authorized to use them during the last war, which scared the Death Eaters and Voldemort by the way. As I said I don't condone murder, but I do believe I should be allowed to defend myself, including using the Avada Kedavra if attacked."

"You've given me much to think about Harry," Dumbledore said with sadness in his voice.

"Sir, I suggest a glamour charm on your wand hand that slowly works its way up your arm. I see no need to give the enemy information they don't need. I was hoping for some dueling practice with you tonight but perhaps later in the week. Room, please revert to normal time and provide a chime when thirty minutes has passed."

Harry left Dumbledore in his recliner as he fought two animated dummies that looked and fought like Death Eaters. Once he destroyed the second dummy with a Reducto Harry waved his left hand over his body and reverted to his shorter skinny self. They went back to the Headmaster's office and bade each other goodnight.

Gryffindor common room

Harry entered the common room and saw Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Ginny sitting together. Hermione said, "Harry, we need to talk."

Harry rounded on her saying, "No we don't, and you've made yourself perfectly clear about your feelings. For five years, you've been on my arse about doing better but can't stand the fact that I'm doing better in potions than you. You've gone so far as to indicate that I'm cheating by using a used book that has notes in it. Well guess what Miss Granger that's a common thing with used textbooks. You'd probably piss yourself if I showed you the used Transfiguration and Charms texts that I have. The fact that the books belonged to my parents wouldn't matter to you because their notes weren't approved by the Ministry."

"Harry…"

"Unless you're going to apologize to me Hermione, I don't want to hear any more from you," Harry stated then turned his back and headed for the dorm.

Harry heard Neville say, "We tried to warn you that you were being unreasonable Hermione. You may have lost the best friend a person could have. I'm beginning to wonder if you're either confunded, under the Imperiuse curse, or under a potion. I suggest you check with Madam Pomfrey to find out before it's too late," Neville then joined Harry in the dorm.

"Harry I just want to say that I agree with what you told Hermione. Bloody hell mate if I was taking potions I'd ask you to let me copy the notes in that book. I think what they really wanted to ask is if you're going to start up the DA again." Neville told his friend.

"Nev we need to talk, but not here, so follow me," Harry replied with a smile that surprised Neville.

Harry led Neville to the wall on the other side of his bed and a door appeared. Neville followed Harry into a comfortable room with a fireplace and two chairs. Harry silently asked the room to stop time.

Turning to Neville, Harry began, "Nev in this room time doesn't pass outside, so we have as much time as we want. You're the only one I'll trust with certain information if you have the Occlumency skills to protect it."

"Harry Occlumency is one thing that Gran and my uncle taught me early. I've been deflecting Snape for the last five years he sees only what he suspects." Nev said with a feral smile.

"Great! This is the Room of Requirement, and I've discovered a lot of useful and previously unknown functions it provides. It's amazing that Hermione, Ron, and Ginny's minds are open books. However, Luna has the best protection I've ever seen. Her mind to an outsider is total chaos." Harry told his friend with an ear to ear smile that reached his eyes.

They spent over four days in the room part of which was spent with Harry passing Neville knowledge of how to perform wandless magic, shifting, and practicing spells. Harry told him about taking his lordships and of how the war was building up. He asked whom Neville trusted and found that the list was rather small. It included Luna, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Daphne Greengrass, and the Weasley twins. Neville was neutral about Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.

"Harry, Hermione is too wrapped up in authority figures. Ron and Ginny are jealous. Hell I've been surprised that you remain friends with the gits," Neville said in a neutral tone and a blank face.

Harry explained, "It keeps me in touch with their parents who belong to Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix. Neither Arthur nor Molly Weasley has mental shields that could stop or detect a Legilimency probe, so I know what's going on with the Order. If that group doesn't change its ways it will be next to useless."

They went back to their dorm and sat on their beds talking about mundane things. Ron came in and said, "What's up with you Harry? Why did you have to hurt Hermione's feelings? She's been a good friend."

Harry sneered and replied, "Has been is the correct term Ronald. Good friends don't treat each other the way she's treated me the last few days."

End flashback

Harry remembered how Hermione finally came around about three weeks after that incident. Once things got almost back to normal between the two of them, he gave her a book on Occlumency. He told her until she learned to defend her mind, there were a lot of things she couldn't be told. Dumbledore kept Snape busy and fed him false information while he and Harry planned how Harry would leave Privet Drive the next summer.

During the Christmas break of Harry's sixth year, he and Dumbledore used the Room of Requirement to practice dueling. Harry shocked the old man by sending a Reducto at him then shifting to his side and hitting him with an Expelliarmus taking his wand and winning the duel. Harry tossed the Elder wand back to Dumbledore and the old man told him it was his. Harry remembered the conversation.

Flashback

"Sir, I think you should keep it. If Snape or Draco manages to kill you and Voldemort finds out about the wand, he will think that they control its power," Harry stated shocking Dumbledore.

"I have other wands that I've collected over the years that will now actually work better for me than this one. Another thing you may want to consider is that you can ask the wand to take a different shape or become invisible. I can transfigure or glamour one of my other wands to look like this one." Dumbledore replied and tossed the wand back to Harry.

Harry transfigured a piece of wood into a wand holster and placed it on his left arm. Then he closed his eyes and pictured a ten-inch wand that looked to be made of a basilisk fang and slipped the wand into the holster.

End flashback

Harry smiled remembering that the old man didn't tell him that there was no trace on the elder wand. The rest of the sixth year Harry spent training 22 members of the DA in combat; Ron grumbled about the extra work and was ejected from the group. Once Ron was gone, Ginny came around and hooked up with Seamus Finnegan. Hermione finally admitted that she had been wrong about the Potions book. Harry told her it was Snape's old book since his mother's maiden name was Prince.

After the Easter break, Harry planted the idea of visiting the Shrieking Shack in Draco's head. Draco discovered the tunnel leading under the wards. On 8 June 1997, Harry and Dumbledore left the castle after telling Hermione and Snape. Snape told Draco it was time, and Draco used the tunnel to bring the Death Eaters into Hogwarts.

The DA kept the Death Eaters busy except for Draco, who was joined by Snape. Dumbledore did one hell of an acting job when Snape sent an Avada Kedavra at him, and he seemed to fall from the tower. Draco thought he had disarmed Dumbledore but didn't have the guts to kill the man. On the Death Eaters way out of the castle, a disillusioned Harry sent a silver spear into Greyback's chest. The werewolf was the only fatality, which was good for the light side.

On 9 June 1997, Dumbledore's funeral was held and attended by several Death Eaters or Voldemort supporters including Umbitch and Fudge. It was a real shame that when they left Hogwarts and disapparated that some of the Death Eaters spilinced themselves. Their heads were found, but their bodies from the shoulders down never were. Fudge and Umbitch took the floo from the Three Broomsticks after toasting Dumbledore's death. Harry's only comment was that goblin wards were a wonderful thing if you could afford them. Harry then remembered the summer before he turned seventeen.

Flashback

#4 Privet Drive

School ended 10 June, the day after Dumbledore's funeral. Harry put up with Vernon's bullshit on the way to Privet Drive. However, things changed when he entered the house.

Vernon yelled, "Freak…"

Harry hit him with a wandless stinging hex to his balls, and threw up silencing charms. Dudley charged Harry, who stepped aside and stunned him. He levitated the moaning Vernon and knocked-out Dudley into the kitchen. After sitting them in chairs and using sticking charm to keep them in place, Harry did the same to Petunia. He used Rennervate to wake up Dudley, and he forced Vernon to look at him.

Harry's voice was ice cold and there was fire behind his eyes his relatives could feel the magic in the air. Harry dropped the glamour and told his relatives what he was thinking. "I have been at your mercy or put up with your shit for fifteen fucking years, and it stops now. As easily as I stung Vernon and knocked-out Dudley, I could have killed them. Surely somewhere in your pea-sized brains is the thought that one day I would retaliate for the wonderful care I have been given here. Fucking with a wizard by a Muggle is downright stupid. You might have noticed that there are no owls saying I'm in trouble for using magic. The Ministry can't detect wandless magic besides that I'm now considered an adult in my world."

Harry let that sink in as he continued, "They trace the wands of non-emancipated minors under the age of seventeen. Well, I'm emancipated and have been since last September. I'm also the Earl of Potter and Black and far richer than you'll ever be, in fact, I'm richer than the entire Royal Family. I know about the £1,000 per month you've been getting, and it will be returned less the cost of my glasses and £5 a month for food while I was here. That will pay for what it cost me to overcome the damage you did to me when I couldn't defend myself. This house belongs to me Vernon, my friend, and I own 75 percent of Gunnings."

Harry waved his hand and a diet coke appeared. "The wizard world is about 100 years or so behind yours. They still rate wizards and witches by power. There are the ordinary folks like you with no magic called Muggles. Then there are those like Petunia, and Mrs. Figg, who are from a family that had magic but they were born without it. They're called Squibs. The average magic user is called wizards or witches. Then there are Warlocks, Sorcerers, Grand Sorcerers, Mages, and Grand Mages. Dumbledore and Voldemort are Grand Sorcerers, but I'm a Grand Mage the first since Merlin."

After drinking his diet coke and banishing the can Harry added, "On my birthday the protective wards Dumbledore placed here will fall and the Death Eaters will come after you lot. I could care less what happens to you three and Marge, but I will suggest you get out of Great Britain. The US or Australia is probably the two safest places for you, in two weeks or so I'll be gone."

Harry then told them about the Death Eaters and even projected images of some of the worst atrocities they committed. He banished what they threw up. They got the point but grumbled about moving and their possessions.

Harry stated, "You three are really something else. You worry about your precious possessions more than you do your lives. Pathetic… absolutely pathetic. Oh yes, if Marge comes while I'm here and brings Ripper he's a dead dog, and she'll end up hurt."

Harry sat down and called Dobby, and asked him for two chicken dinners. He kept the Dursleys stuck to their chairs while he and Dobby ate and talked. Dobby said he had expanded Harry's room to include a bathroom, den, walk-in closet, and practice room. Vernon turned red when Dobby told Harry that his room was warded against the nasty Muggles while looking at the Dursleys.

"Vernon let me give you a bit of advice about Dobby. He is an elf, and with the snap of his fingers he could send you through the outer walls or remove every bone in your body." Harry told his uncle but it was meant for all the Dursleys. "Now I'll be out of here early Saturday the 21st, and I suggest you be gone by the 20th. The wards shouldn't fall until my birthday but don't count that. Trust me what happens to you lot doesn't matter one bit to me. You may be my relatives, but you damn sure aren't my family."

Harry threw an envelope on the table and added, "Here are three coach-class tickets on Qantas to Sydney for the 20th use them or lose them, it don't mean shit to me. Marge can do whatever but I won't help that bitch. Gunnings Drill Co. has a facility there, and you'll find your junk in its storage area. If you choose to stay, the tickets disappear, and you die."

Harry sneered at them in a manner that reminded Petunia of Snape, and she shuddered. He turned his back and went back to his room. He used his new cell phone to call Hermione.

"Granger residence."

"What 'cha doin Hermione?"

"Harry?"

"Yep, there is an Order of the Phoenix meeting this evening do you want to crash it with me?" Harry asked.

"What? Why? They won't tell us anything!" Hermione said loudly.

"I'm going to shake them up. I know the plan and it sucks, but I'll let them play their games if, and only if, they move it forward to the 21st. I'm out of here then with or without the Order of the Phoenix. If it's without them, they'll lose their little hidey-hole. Now Hermione you didn't answer my question, what are you doing?"

"I'm setting at my desk finishing up my homework." She replied and the line went dead.

Harry appeared behind her and said, "Looking good in Garfield knickers and a black bra Hermione. I was hoping you were wearing a pair of knickers with me on them."

"EEP! You prat what are you doing here." She yelled.

"Visiting my best friend, but I have a question. Has the Weasleys sent you anything to eat?"

"Actually they did, but after checking it out I binned most of it but kept a sample. Amortentia and a loyalty potion keyed to Ron is not something I'm interested in taking, Harry why did you ask?" Hermione asked with a frown.

"I got the same thing keyed to Ginny. I doubt Ginny knows about it because she's hooked up with Seamus. They've managed to keep it a secret outside of the DA members so none of the other Weasleys know. How about getting dressed and grab your sample then we'll go to Grimmauld Place. Later we'll crash the Order of the Phoenix meeting." Harry said and kissed Hermione on the forehead while mumbling damn she has a great figure, fucking Hogwarts robes.

Harry smiled, as Hermione turned red from her forehead down. He tossed a package on her bed and turned saying to put what was in the package on, and he would see her down stairs. Twenty minutes later, she joined him in their kitchen.

"Lookin' good Mione, how does it feel?"

"It feels great. What is it Harry?"

"It's the basilisk hide armor that I ordered, and will stop all but unforgivable curses so don't leave the house without it. It will keep you warm or cool so keep the gloves, and hood inside the top. If you are attacked, think hood and gloves on, and they'll appear on your head and hands. The hood covers everything, including the eyes. I'm going to have Kevlar tested to see whether it will stop the unforgivables. If it does I'll have the goblins line our armor with it." Harry told a shocked Hermione.

Harry then told her to take his left forearm, and they appeared in the master bedroom at #12 Grimmauld Place.

"A bedroom Harry?" she asked teasingly.

"No just any bedroom it's the Master bedroom My Lady. All kidding aside, from this room I can monitor the wards and know who is here and who enters. Dobby!"

Pop

"Yes Harry Potter, sir."

"I forgot my new trunk, and it has our food and snacks in it. Ask Winky if she wants to join us for a snack. Is Kreacher still here?" Harry asked the small elf.

"Kreacher is being guilty of getting his master killed sir. The Elf council is being taking his magic, and banishing him to South Pole sir. Dobby be punishing self now."

"No, you did nothing wrong. Did you find the locket I asked about?"

"Yes Harry sir, it be in the come and go room now in a lead box. It has very bad magic and maybe drove Kreacher mad. Wiff it gone Dobby was able to move old Lady Black portrait to attic." The nervous house elf told his master and friend.

"Great job as usual Dobby," Harry told the little elf who disappeared and returned with Winky and Harry's trunk.

Harry went into the trunk and came back out with a hot pizza and four butterbeers. The elves disappeared and went to check the house and get it ready for the Order of the Phoenix meeting. Harry and Hermione talked until the wards started pinging just before 1900 hours. Harry checked to see who was there, and Hermione saw him get angry then smile. She held her question for later.

At 1910 hours, Harry and Hermione appeared in the kitchen. Mad Eye Moody, Shaklebolt, and Tonks drew their wands but Harry's was quicker and three wands sailed to him. He sat them on the kitchen counter.

"Harry this is an Order meeting, and you should leave," Molly stated firmly in a voice like fingernails across a blackboard.

"Why Sirius put up with you telling him what to do in his house, I'll never know. However, as Lord Black and an adult, I damn sure won't put up with it. This is my house, you are guests here, and will act like it or you will find yourself in the park. You may eat and drink whatever is available, and I have no problem with that, but you will treat me, the elves, and my other guests with respect, or you can leave." Harry stated firmly then tossed a package to Horace Slughorn. Hermione did the same thing.

"But Harry I'm your mother."

The magic rolling off of Harry caused the wizards in the room to be forced into their chairs and unable to move. "How dare you say that! My mother was, and will forever be Lady Lily Rose Potter, Mistress of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter-Gryffindor-Ravenclaw. From all I've been able to find out she was not a harpy like you. Now I suggest you shut the fuck up and sit your arse it that chair."

"Horace, please confirm my suspicions as to what potions the items in those packages are laced with. I'd also like to know who they are keyed to and who brewed them." Harry told his potions Professor. Then Harry turned his wand on Mundungus Fletcher and hit the man in the chest with an orange beam.

"Dung that's a goblin tracking charm keyed to you and Sharpaxe. You have 48 hours starting now to get everything you stole from the House of Black to Stripeclaw at Gringotts or Sharpaxe will be on your arse. Keep in mind Dung it's a year shoveling dragon shit for every galleon that you stole. Now get the fuck out of my house, you only have 48 hours." Harry let his magic flare again and everyone smelled the fact that Dung had shit himself.

Horace looked at Harry and shook his head saying, "the treckle tart is keyed to you and Ginevra Weasley. The brownies are keyed to Miss Granger and Ronald Weasley. Both items contain Amortentia, a loyalty potion, and a mild lust potion brewed by Molly Weasley. The amount of Amortentia in the treckle tart would have poisoned whoever ate it. Death would have taken about fifteen minutes or maybe less depending on body weight."

"Thanks Horace, Madam Bones what is the standard sentence for attempted line theft?" Harry asked Amelia.

"Life in Azkaban, but in cases where the individual is the head of an Ancient and Most Noble House it's the dementor's kiss." A disgusted ex-Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement stated while glaring at Molly.

Harry and Hermione watched the rest of the Weasleys as Horace and Amelia spoke. At first, they saw shock, then anger from the males and terror from Molly.

Arthur looked at Molly and Harry stopped anyone from saying anything by stating, "This is not the time to take any action. As far as I'm concerned, a problem has been identified and as long as the harpy is kept away from Hermione and me, I'll take no action yet. We're on a war footing, or at least we should be. I've told my relatives to get the hell out of Great Britain. They may or may not it doesn't matter to me either way. I gave them airline tickets, which is more than they deserve. I'll be leaving Privet Drive not later than 21 June. However, I'll get the word out that it will be at a different time most probably three days before my birthday."

Harry looked at each of the group one at a time then asked, "How many of you are willing to take the war to the enemy, and people I won't use stunners or any of that bull shit. If they come under my wand, they will lose limbs or their lives. Six of us stood off twelve Death Eaters at the Ministry last year using bullshit hexes. I must have stunned Malfoy four times, and one of the others would bring him back around. No more of that crap, now its Reductos, Bombardia, and anything worse I can find. They throw the Unforgivables around like confetti. We are using Stupefy, Expelliarmus, and Incarcerous and that will just get us killed one day. I suggested letting the Aurors use Avada Kedavra if it's used against them. I'll not use it, but I think it's probably kinder and cleaner than a Reducto to the chest or head."

Harry paused and waved his wand. He handed a Diet Coke to Hermione while a second one for him stayed in the air in front of him. He watched Tonks look at it covertly so he sent it to her, and another appeared in front of him.

Harry looked around at the frowns saying, "It's a Muggle drink, people, and its non-alcoholic and sugar free. While information gathering is needed and not everyone is meant for combat in my opinion, we need some preemptive strikes. The question is, do you remain an information gathering bird club or will it have teeth. I mean no offense to anyone sitting here but have to ask. Fred, George, have you been approached to develop items that will put down Death Eaters preferably in groups? If not, why not? That Peruvian darkness powder had to be blown upwards, or we could have had a real problem with the Death Eaters in Hogwarts. Ask Remus about Claymore mines the Muggle military uses then think of a way to explode them over a group of Death Eaters. Perhaps think of coating some of the balls with silver to use against werewolves."

A pistol appeared in his hand, and Harry fired it fifteen times in less than that many seconds. The others, including Hermione jumped as each blank fired and the sound reverberated through the room.

"Harry that's illegal in Great Britain," Remus stated forcefully.

Harry sniggered and stated, "So is rape, torture, murder, and using magic against Muggles. The question is can you fire fifteen Reductos or Bombardias as fast as I fired these blanks? If so will they go through a shield? No magic shield can stop a .40 caliber round. True you can block it with certain metals or deflect it, but it would also give your arm quite a shock. A gun in one hand and a wand in the other would put anyone here in trouble. I have an AK47 that will fire ten rounds per second and is accurate out to 300 yards at that rate. Then there is my M82A1, .50 caliber sniper rifle that will reach out and blow your head off from 1800 yards. Very few shields will stop it, including steel over an inch thick."

After letting that sink in Harry added, "Then if that wasn't enough from the park across the street, I could lob a grenade in here and kill everyone on all five floors. Of course, it would take out everything on both sides of this place as well. If we allow Voldemort to keep doing what he is the Muggle military will step in, and they won't know one wand user from another. They'll hit places like Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and Hogwarts first because they can't see them but know something should be there."

Harry dropped an eight by ten-inch picture that showed a lot of buildings except in the center, there was a blank spot. "That's a picture of Diagon Alley taken by a satellite earlier today. The Muggle military intelligence people can zoom in on that picture and count the hair on a head. Notice that Diagon Alley shows as a blank where you would expect to see something. That something may be more buildings or a park. The fact that there is nothing there indicates something is being hidden in that area. That area may as well be flashing red and saying look at me. Two helicopters come in one with Napalm and the other with phosphorous bombs and suddenly the alley is full of fire, and the air is gone. The people are dead within minutes either by burning, or lack of oxygen. Water just spreads napalm out more. And phosphorous burns through everything, including concrete, steel, and the ground until it burns itself out."

They all saw Hermione nodding her head in agreement with Harry's words. Before they left Harry told Mad Eye Moody to expect a patronus soon because he would rather not kill the Dursleys.

"Harry they're your family," Dumbledore chastised.

Harry laughed out loud stating, "No, they're relatives. You're more than welcome to come and stay there and put up with their bullshit. I'm sure they would let you sleep in my old cupboard under the stairs with the spiders. Of course, you may find something three feet wide and four feet long a little cramped. I know I did when I was seven. I spent until the owls started arriving in that damn place. Petunia did ask me to tell you that her best dream was the one where she pushes you in front of a speeding bus. For some reason, she doesn't seem to like you very much Headmaster. I promised Vernon last night that if he called me a freak again I would castrate both him and Dudley then turn Petunia inside out. They don't learn very well. Mad Eye I'll send you a patronus when I'm ready to leave."

With that said, he grabbed Hermione's hand, and they disappeared leaving chaos behind them. Harry told her that he had two elves watching her parents, and they had put up warning wards to detect any wizards except him and her. She felt better about their safety now and told him the Grangers were leaving for Australia in three days.

"Misty!"

Pop.

"Yes Harry sir."

"How many elves do you need to pack Hermione's house up and get it to Gringotts for shipment to Australia?" Harry asked the little female elf after introducing her to Hermione.

"With Mandy and Candy watching Miss Hermony's parents we's be having enough Harry sir."

"Alright thank you. You and the others do a great job, and I appreciate it." Harry said as the elf popped away.

Harry turned to Hermione saying, "They'll stay with your parents in Australia Hermione. In addition, the Australia Aurors will keep an eye on them. I'm sure you'll get pulled into whatever grand plan the Order of the Turkey comes up with to rescue me. Sharpaxe put up an intent ward so no one meaning you harm can get past your property line. I'll see you in a few days, so I suggest you work out of your trunk and keep it ready to be shrunk."

Harry gave Hermione a hug then disappeared. At 0700 hours on 26 June, Harry sent Moody a patronus saying that he would be leaving Privet Drive not later than 0130 hours the next day. Harry listened to the lynx patronus from Moody saying to hang tight and not leave as per Dumbledore's orders. He sent one back that said, "As I told Dumbledore, piss off. I'm out of here as per my first patronus."

#4 Privet Drive, 21 June 1997, 0015 hours

He was watching TV in the sitting room when his rescue party arrived. It consisted of Alastor Moody, Hermione Granger, Fleur Delacour, Arthur Weasley, Bill Weasley, Ronald Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, and Rubeus Hagrid. Moody of course thought he was in command and laid out a plan. They would use polyjuice on Hermione, Fleur, Ron, Fred, George, and Neville to create six more Harry's. The plan was for Harry Potter to go with Rubeus Hagrid on the flying motorcycle that belonged to Sirius Black. Hermione Granger with go with Kingsley Shacklebolt on a Thestral. Ron Weasley would be with Nymphadora Tonks on a broomstick. George Weasley and Remus Lupin would be on a broomstick. Fred Weasley with Arthur Weasley would also be on a broomstick. While Fleur Delacour with Bill Weasley would go on a Thestral, and Neville Longbottom would be with Alastor Moody on a broomstick.

Moody explained that the Ministry had made this a no apparation, no portkey, and no floo zone at noon today. He also stated that this was what Dumbledore wanted done, which raised Harry's eyebrows.

** From "Things That Make You Go Hummm," by Dracom Blade.**

Harry looked a bit unhappy with the plan after the order members explained it to him.

"Do we have to have everyone turn into me? I'm a bit uncomfortable with that." Harry voiced worriedly.

"Face it Harry we-"

"Are going to be-"

"You." The twins announced.

Harry was about to object again, but Hermione already yanked a bit of his hair out. He watched in horror as Fleur Hermione and the others drank the Polyjuice potion.

It didn't take a full five minutes after the group finished transforming that they all stopped and looked at Harry. Some in Shock, Some envy, others seemed jealous.

Finely (finally) one of them spoke up. "Harry… is that really-"

"Not a word!" the original demanded. The non-Harry Potters feel into a confused silence looked between each other for an explanation.

"What is it what's wrong with Potter?" Demanded Remus thinking maybe the Dursleys had done something to Harry before they left.

Sadly one of the male Harry copies couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Merlin's balls kids hung like a bull."

The room was silent and all the Harry Potters were blushing. Most of the men looked disbelievingly between each other for a full minute. Finally, an unmistakable female voice cut the silence.

"Bill… I zink we zould zee other people…"

"What!" Bill shouted in shock

"Zo 'Arry. We zould catch up tonight…" Fleur continued not deterred at all by her ex's displeasure.

Harry glared at all of them but growled, "We could do that when we get to our destination Fleur. I have to say this plan is almost the most asinine thing I've ever heard. First by flying there gives us no cover and nothing to transfigure should we get in a firefight. Second, we'll be split up with no covering fire from the others. In a word, it's a bullshit plan that I will not go along with. Third, and nothing against anyone here but where are Luna and Ginny. Hermione, Neville, Ron, and I have firefight experience with them. We know how they act and react but have no clue about you others."

Harry let his magic flare a bit, and walked outside and reduced Sirius' motorcycle and put it in his pocket. He re-entered the house and locked it down then waved the elder wand and brought up more wards.

"Ok we have Hermione, Neville, and I that can shift and take two people with us. That's nine of fourteen, so I need three elves. Dobby, Winky, Mitsy!" Harry called out.

Pop, pop, pop.

"Yes Master Harry sir."

Harry said, "Dobby, take Mr. Moody and Remus to the Hogwarts Great Hall please. Mitsy, you take Arthur and Bill Weasley. Winky please take Hagrid to the Great Hall. Hermione you get George and Ron. Neville you take Kinglsey and Fred Weasley please, and I'll take Tonks and Fleur."

The elves all said, "Yes, Harry sir." They grabbed the people Harry told them to and popped away.

Nev grumbled, "How come I get two blokes, and you get two great-looking women, Harry?"

Harry laughed saying, "Keep in mind what's in your jeans will go away when you change back but what's in mine won't. Its animal magnetism Nev pure and simple, that and perhaps size does matter." He looked at Fleur and winked as she, Tonks, and Hermione turned red. "Besides, Nev I'm the Boy-Who-Lived, and a right git according to Snivellus."

Tonks cracked the others up saying, "Stamina also is a factor grasshopper." Hermione had to explain that to the purebloods and the Veela.

"To the Great Hall, Hogwarts needs more Harry Potters to drive Dumbledore nuts." Harry said and watched Hermione and Neville shift their riders away. He held hands with Tonks, who he decided he would call Dora, and Fleur, and they appeared in the Great Hall.

End Chapter 1 - To be continued.