Oxymorons don't work in a relationship
Chapter 1:
Beginning of the end

In which Sasuke doesn't read the signs and Sakura finally flies off the handle.

Sasuke's POV
"You see that's the thing! Already both Karin and Naruto seem so...so placated. Like nothing is even important anymore. Did you see them share any meaningful looks over the dinner table?"

This is a rhetorical question. After seven years with Sakura, I know this, so I remain quiet and continue waiting for our car to be brought round.

"I didn't. Not onelook completely filled with love that it was practically overfilling. Did you see anything like that Sasuke?"

The car's finally here, a chubby ginger haired guy nods at me as he steps out and I push a few dollar bills into his hand before making my way into my vehicle. Sakura joins me, scrambling through her purple clutch purse for something as the lights inside the car turn out and I begin pushing the gear stick into reverse. Sakura pulls down the glove box so that a dim green light shines upon her search and I notice her flick a glance at me.

"Are you even listening to me?" She asks.

I look at her quickly as I pull out of the parking lot and into the road.

"Yes." I reply.

"Good," Sakura says, smiling. She retrieves whatever she wanted from her bag and then continues to talk. "That's another thing I noticed, neither of them really paid attention to each other. Naruto was always invested in what you were saying, Karin too. Neither of them showed that sort of attentiveness to each other,"

I agree in my head, my mind flicking back to earlier on in the night when Karin's leg had suddenly rubbed up against mine and then stayed there, despite many efforts to detach myself.

"A year of marriage and already their relationship's like that," Sakura tuts and shakes her head.


"Though," her tone is wistful and she looks out of the window, staring at her reflection. "It would be nice to have something like that."

"A broken relationship?" I raise my eyebrows, my eyes on the road.

"No!" Sakura chuckles and then slaps me slightly. "And they've not got a broken relationship, don't say that. No, what I meant was, it'd be nice to have a wedding and everything. Get all dressed up, feel beautiful. Don't you think Sasuke? That'd be nice?"

I shrug and pull a slight face. Sakura's silent next to me. I flick a look her way and see that she's looking down at her lap, her bubblegum pink locks covering her face.

"We're as good as married," I say and she jerks her head up. "We're the longest running couple too. Outlasted all the married couples so far."

"That we have," Sakura agrees, but she doesn't sound cheered by the fact. She just sounds thoughtful. "As good as married." She repeats quietly.

I stay quiet, but I frown. Thankfully, we're almost home and I resist breathing a sigh of relief as we pull up onto our driveway. Sakura's out ahead of me and she clops her way to the door, opening it and disappearing inside before I'm even out of the car. I follow after silently and head straight to the kitchen. I grab two wine glasses, yank a bottle of red out of the wine rack and then pour before making my way upstairs. Sakura's in the bedroom, in the midst of yanking off her dress, when I enter. She pauses when I come in, but stays silent, ripping the remainder of her dress off over her head. I step closer.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"For what?"

"For whatever I've done."

Sakura chuckles and shakes her head ruefully before taking the glass of red out of my hand and taking a large gulp.

"Come to bed?" She requests and leads me towards the queen-sized bed, removing articles of my clothing as we go.

Afterwards we lie in content silence, both breathing heavily, her in my arms, her head on my chest.

I've got the best girlfriend in the world. Here I am, lying in bed with a woman who's only got more intelligent, more beautiful-

"Sasuke." Sakura's whispering of my name distracts me from my thoughts and I look down at her.


"Can I ask you something?" She sits up slightly, tucking her pink hair behind her ears and bringing the duvet up around her chest. She's always done that, doesn't like her boobs. I can't help but roll my eyes at that, after seven years of dating and still-

"Why haven't you asked me to marry you?"

She asks it innocently enough, she's even smiling as she asks, but I feel like the enquiry is overflowing with bombs, guns, and weapons of unimaginable power. But I'm Sasuke Uchiha...I can handle this sort of stuff.

"W...what?" Or not.

"Why haven't you asked me to marry you?" Sakura repeats the question, her green eyes staring intensely into mine.

Oh dear God, she actually wants an answer. Fuck fuck fuckaroony. Keep cool Sasuke, keep cool. What sort of question is that to ask at twelve am? A relationship-breaking sort of question it is! Shit. Now, cool down. This is just Sakura, no need to freak out. I look at her. Why haven't I asked her to marry me? She's gorgeous, she's funny, she's very intelligent, she likes fine wines and exercise, she rarely nags, she looks at me like I'm the love of her life...But, there's other things too, she's very uptight at times, she can whine, sometimes she can be so immature and twittery, she can say quite cutting things when she's angry, she takes almost everything to heart-

"I guess, the reason would be,"

Sakura watches me, her expression unreadable.

"It's because..." Suddenly, the reason becomes crystal clear and I smile at her. "It's because I love you, but at the same time...I sorta hate you."

Sakura's POV

Oh my God. I...I still can't get my head round this. I wipe fiercely at my tears as they cascade down my cheeks, but it's no use, they just keep coming. What sort of psycho is Sasuke? He hates me? I'm angry, but I am so hurt too. I feel a twist of pain in my heart as I recall what he said to me mere moments ago. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I was out of the bed and half way down the stairs, a bag full of my clothes in one hand, my phone -my hand quickly texting Ino- in the other. Now, I'm in the Volvo, making my way to her's. The car is technically Sasuke's, but to hell if I care.

I draw up outside Ino's house, ring on the doorbell and then wait. I don't have to wait long, the door's ripped open a few seconds after I ring and Ino is immediately within sight, her face a mixture of anger and concern.

"What has he done?" She growls, gathering me into the house as I continue sobbing.

In fact, my tears have actually increased since I've got into the house, I start wailing, no proper words coming out, as Ino strokes my back and says soothing things along the lines of, 'I'll chop his balls off for you Sakura' and 'I know hit men'.

Suigetsu, Ino's husband, drifts into the hallway drinking some lemonade from a straw. He stops, takes one look at me and my bag full of clothes and then drifts back into the living room.

"Ok, ok. Calm down sweetie," Ino placates, taking my hands into hers and staring into my eyes. "Now, what happened?"

"He...he..." I take some deep breaths and then let out the truth in one long wail. "He said he hates meeeeeeee!" I burst into fresh tears, my mascara and eyeliner rampaging down my face, leaving rivulets of black upon my pale skin.

"He what?" Ino roars.

Sasuke POV

What the hell just happened? I rub my hands down my face. I am so confused. I feel like I haven't read the script and now I don't know how to react or what to do next. I stall in my pacing as I realise that this must be how Naruto feels every single day of his life. A little stunned by this revelation, I feel a pang of regret for every single time I called him 'dobe'. But on a serious note, what just happened? Seriously. One minute I was explaining to Sakura why I hadn't asked her to marry me yet (an answer which she requested to be told) and then the next thing I know, Sakura is out of the bed screaming things about me being an inconsiderate jerk who doesn't understand anything while pelting me with swear words.

I...what? Women are just strange. Then again...I sit down on the cream couch in our living room and consider the situation. That situation in the car...where she didn't seem pleased about being 'almost married', how she spoke about how it would be 'nice to have something like that' and before that, outside the restaurant, when she was going on about how Karin and Naruto's relationship had changed as a result of marriage...almost as if she was trying to justify something to hersel-shit. My eyes widen as I realise how stupid I've been (and I don't normally admit to stuff like that). Sakura wants to get married...like, she really properly wants to get married. She wanted a solid reason back there, for why we haven't got married yet and I...I told her I hated her. Now, I'm not great with social interaction, girls and relationships, but even I know that what I've done is one of the stupidest things on earth.

Before I can get up, grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and impale myself, the phone rings. I pick it up.

"Hel-?" The greeting is barely out of my mouth before the person on the other end begins ranting.

"You absolute arsehole."

My brow wrinkles. "Oh, hello Ino." I greet, aware I am about to receive a bollocking.

"Hello yourself you moronic piece of horse manure." Ino replies.

I scrunch my eyes closed and tap my free hand against the table. "Bit much for this early in the morning, surely?"

"Oh ho ho!" Ino calls on the other end, not sounding pleased at all. "Do not push me Sasuke. What in the world were you thinking?" You are on thin ice Uchiha, very veeerrryyy veeeeeerrrrrryyyyy thin ice. Fix this!"

I rub at my forehead and sigh, plonking my head firmly on the wall in front of me. "I want to," I groan. "I will."

"Good," Ino replies. "Because if you don't I will cover you with honey and then I will stand you in front of a bear and a beehive full of angry bees. You. Little. Shite. Go to sleep and rest on this, realise that you're an idiot in the morning and fix this." She rings off, leaving me alone with a banging headache and a profound sense of guilt. I glance around, spot my mobile on the kitchen counter and retrieve it. Pressing a few buttons, I reach Sakura's number and try calling. No response. I send a text her way:

Sakura, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I don't know what was running through my head at the time. What can I do to make it up to you?

I place the phone down on the counter and slump into my hands, moodily watching the phone from behind my arms. Eventually it chings. Greedily, I snatch it up, scanning the message quickly:

I don't know Sasuke, because it goes far beyond tonight. You never seem to pick up the signals I send you. I'm going to stay at Ino's for a while; I don't feel like seeing you. I think it would be good if we spent some time apart.

What? What? I stare at the message in horror. What's happening? Sakura is the love of my life and I seem to have messed everything up with a few wrong words. Shit. I grab my phone and send another text to her, but she doesn't respond this time. I glance around frantically a few times and then send a message to Ino:

I'm going to need your help Ino.

A few seconds pass and then Ino replies:

You cocking son of a bitch. Call me tomorrow. I'll try and work some magic my end.

Shit. Apparently oxymorons don't work in relationships.

An: So, this is a story I've had on the back burner for ages now (I've actually got about a million AU's on the back burner now, all wanting to be written) and, somehow, this one's actually managed to make it, finally, onto fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you'll enjoy all the chapters to come. Lots of love, Gerkyhen.