One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda. Author's notes are at the bottom.
"Shimotsuki Museum of Natural History. How may I help you?"
"Mmm... ohh, Robin..."
"Get off the phone, Zoro. I'm working."
"What are you wearing, baby-chan?"
"Stop it, Zoro."
"I wanna fuck you."
"I hope you choke on your vomit."
"That was strangely hot. Tell me you wanna snap my neck."
"Love you, too."
"I'll be on break soon. Do you need anything?"
"Besides your sweet, sexy body? Probably some soup. I feel like shit."
"I'll come home and baby you for a little bit, then."
"Oh, and Zoro?"
"There's no way in hell that I'm going to risk getting into bed with someone who is either vomiting or pooping every five minutes. Sorry."
"See you soon."
Zoro smiled slightly as he hung up the phone, resuming his previous action - staring at the cream coloured, velvet box in his hands. He knew he was going to wear out the hinges if he kept opening the box to look at the ring, but he was much too restless, and too fragile for rigorous movement. Robin started to prove herself to be the perfect wife as soon as Zoro began to find every reason to postpone his proposal, and that infuriated the swordsman beyond belief. As their relationship grew to be less of a laborious task and more of an emotional investment that Zoro was truly enjoying, he was beginning to see a totally different side of his girlfriend. She was getting to be more comfortable around him, thus resulting in her being strangely domestic, which only made her so much more appealing to Zoro.
"Fuck." Zoro spat, shoving the ring back into the pocket of his sweatpants. He slumped in his seat on the bed. Goddamn, he loved her. It was unfair to keep her waiting. That was if she actually wanted to marry him. She was such great wife material, but Zoro was much too hesitant to simply ask for her hand in marriage. He never beat around the bush like this; why should he start now?
Ignoring this confusion, Zoro instead focused on his current immobilization. Food poisoning, besides his routine-based life, was the very reason why Zoro stuck to his strict diet of onigiri and alcohol, and something plain every once in a while. This is why he was cursing Johnny and Yosaku for taking him out to a questionable takoyaki place. There was a crazy-haired octopus on the sign, for Christ's sake. The two oafs who put Zoro in this situation hadn't even stopped by to apologize yet, and Zoro wasn't half-bad at holding grudges.
Just about half an hour after the end of Zoro's phone conversation with her, Robin came home bearing a styrofoam container of tomato soup and a sympathetic smile. "How are you?"
"Now that you're here?" Zoro beamed. "Couldn't be better."
"Oh, cut it out," Robin blushed as she sat with her legs curled up beside the bedridden man. She slapped his hand away when he reached out to caress the small amount of skin that had appeared when she pulled up her skirt to seat herself. "Pervert. Do you want your soup?"
"I guess," Zoro murmured, dejected. "How's work?"
Robin produced a spoon and a few napkins from her handbag, setting them down on her lap as she carefully peeled the lid off of the container. "There's a group of middle school children on a field trip today... one of whom grabbed my ass. It took a lot of restraint not to break his back, I must say, but his actions did not go unpunished."
"You injured a twelve-year-old?" Zoro asked with clear disbelief. "Who are you and what have you done with Little Miss Beacon of Social Justice?"
"I don't condone sexual harassment, mind you. And all I did was trip him," Robin defended. She held out a spoonful of the soup to Zoro's lips. "Open up."
"I can feed myself." The swordsman parted his lips in spite of himself and his pride.
"Good boy." Robin whispered as she eased the spoon into his mouth.
She continued to feed Zoro until just about half of the container was left. Zoro smiled between every single spoonful; if he had it his way, every day would be just like this. Surely, he could have it, and he realized this when he shifted on the bed, and so did the box inside his pocket. His heart was already pounding at the very idea of asking her, right then and there, to spend the rest of her life with him as her husband. The sudden, painful clenching deep in Zoro's chest made him gasp, alarming Robin.
"Zoro? Is everything alright?"
Oh, he was so nauseous. "Yeah... Robin-chan, I have to ask you something."
"Anything." Robin blinked, her eyes scanning Zoro's blank expression.
The male wrung his hands. It wasn't the most romantic of settings, but Robin wasn't the most romantic of people. He hadn't exactly dreamt of asking a girl to marry him when his barf-filled bucket was directly to his right and said girl was spoon-feeding him like a child. He chewed on his bottom lip briefly. "If I'm feeling better tonight... do you wanna go out for dinner? Just you and me."
Robin twisted her lips. "Well, I don't know. Are you sure you're going to feel okay by tonight?"
"What's the occasion?" Robin smirked. "Are you trying to butter me up so that I'll be willing to have sex with you? You do that an awful lot."
Zoro relaxed, grateful for the subject change. "Quite possibly."
"It's a date, then." Robin winked and stood, gathering her belongings. "I'm due back at work. I'll see you soon, sweetheart."
"Just a little while longer."
"Fine, fine..." Zoro grumbled. As Robin circled the bed, Zoro caught her hand and planted a kiss on her lips.
"Gross," Robin complained.
"Dress nice tonight, okay?"
Somehow, word got out that Zoro was planning to propose to Robin that evening. Upon seeing Nami casually sitting at a table with her husband and noticing how her eyes darted around the room suspiciously when he saw her there, he figured that Robin must have said something. He grew increasingly suspicious when he scanned the crowd from his seat at the table and noticed that the entire gang, Johnny and Yosaku included, was scattered across the seating area. That was when he started to panic; had she found the ring? It would ruin the surprise, and Zoro couldn't have that. He was looking forward to seeing Robin's eyes light up when he presented her with the blue diamond ring he'd worked so tirelessly to buy.
Zoro had barely eaten. Not only was the taste of bile still lingering in his mouth, but he could barely breathe every time he spared a glance at Robin. All he could think was how humiliating, how upsetting it would be if she said no. He couldn't live with himself if he built up their relationship for five years, just to have her basically point out that they just weren't right for each other. Simply the thought of this possibility made him cringe.
"Are you feeling sick again, Zoro?"
"Huh?" Zoro blinked out of his fretful stupor to notice that Robin had completely finished the dessert that they were meant to share. She was giving him a concerned, thoughtful stare. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine."
Robin shook her head. "I don't know about that. You haven't eaten much tonight. Is something troubling you?"
Now or never. Zoro sighed. "Ah, fuck it... Robin, I have to ask you something."
"Your inquisitiveness is running on overdrive today, isn't it?" The female smiled. "What's on your mind?"
Zoro wasn't sure if his nausea and dizziness was really coming back, or if he just wanted an excuse to put the proposal off yet again. He thought of all the other things he could ask - why she sucked up their dessert like an animal, if she did something to her hair before they went out, how she felt about getting a guinea pig and naming it Kokogaku - before he finally began to speak. "I've been wanting to say this to you... to ask you this since forever. Maybe not forever, no, but for a really, really long time. I love you. A lot. I know that we're not the most... what's the word..."
"Harmonious?" Robin offered, a twinkle in her eye.
"The most harmonious - thanks - couple out there, but we could be. We've made it this far and we haven't murdered each other yet, so, I was just wondering..." Zoro produced the ring from his pocket and, setting his ego aside, knelt down beside the table in front of Robin. He focused on those crystal clear blue eyes, filling with tears now, as he asked: "Will you marry me?"
The five-second silence was enough for Zoro's gaze to avert to the ground and for him to know for sure that, yes, he was going to throw up. He, Roronoa Zoro, was going to barf. On Robin's shoes, on the newly polished floor, on the ring - he was going to fucking vomit and there was no doubt about it. He was nervous and nauseous and he felt utterly stupid and foolish until he looked back up at Robin.
She had never looked so happy.
There were tears building up in her eyes. She had her hands covering her wide, thrilled smile. There was an adorable, genuine blush in her cheeks. Robin gasped, "Do you even have to ask?"
"Is that a yes?" Zoro inquired impatiently.
In an odd mix of laughter and sobbing, Robin confessed, "I was totally kidding about the blue diamond!"
Robin grabbed Zoro's collar, pulling him up until his lips met hers. She kissed him over and over, nodding frantically. She sobbed, "Yes, Zoro."
The rest was a surreal blur of applause, crying, and embracing. Zoro could only remember sliding the coveted blue diamond ring onto Robin's left hand, kissing her and holding her. It was a whole new beginning for the two of them, and Zoro was glad not to have wasted another second in doubt or fear of their future.
She was soon to be his.
*applause* there you have it. Their engagement, finally. ^_^