So, I wrote this because I admin a Facebook page for The Hunger Games, and I told the fans that they could request a short Hunger Games one shot, and I would write it. Someone requested a Heffie.…and after the work I put in, I thought I may as well publish it here! It's my first story written for the Hunger Games, not to mention the fact that I'm 13, so it most definitely won't be excellent, but I hope you enjoy it!

"No. No way Peeta."

"Oh, common. I know they've been getting on your nerves too."

The two more recent of the District 12 victors were on their last nerve. They were only a very short way into their victory tour, and both were already mentally plotting their mentor and escort's painful demises. And oh, did they have a lot of ideas. Throwing them into an active volcano. Feeding them to mutts. Really, either of those ideas would do nicely. Katniss and Peeta didn't know if it was their time in the arena that caused them to think so violently, or simply that when combined, Effie and Haymitch had the ability to irritate a person to their breaking point faster than anyone else they knew, mostly by their arguing with each other. Which is why the two "star crossed lovers" were currently locked in a storage closet, while Peeta animatedly argued his plan to a dubious Katniss.

You see, the blonder of the two victors was absolutely convinced that the main reason for their arguments were the feelings that he was absolutely sure they had for each other, yet didn't want to admit, causing him to think that if they could simply get the two of them to go from "Effie" and "Haymitch" to "EffieandHaymitch" that all their problems would be solved. Katniss was less convinced.

"Peeta! They could be fighting for lots of reasons! Maybe they're stressed! Maybe they really do just hate each other! You can't just automatically assume that it's love!"

Peeta raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, humor me then. Just this once."

She sighed. "Fine."

He flashed her a boyish grin. "Thank You. So here's the plan…"


Haymitch Abernathy didn't ask for much in life. Peace. Solitude. A few bottles of liquor maybe. All he really wanted was to be left alone to drink his problems away. He was a good guy. He was. So he really didn't know what he had done to deserve an irritated Effie banging on his door in the mornings, demanding in a shrill, piercing voice that he get "up up up!" and come help her with whatever she happened to be doing at the moment. Yesterday it had been because she wanted to know what he thought she should serve at a banquet she was having for the birthday of some probably somewhat important person. The day before that, she told him she was refurnishing part of Katniss and Peeta's house they always stayed at when they visited the Capitol, and wanted to know what color drapes he thought would be best. As if he knew or cared. The woman might not so bad if she relaxed, loosened her corset a little, and took off that ridiculous pink wig. He'd seen her real hair; it was actually kind of prett-

"Haymitch Abernathy! I am coming in, so you'd better be decent!"

He groaned and dragged himself out of bed, hoping whatever it was she wanted would over fast, and picked a wrinkled shirt up off the floor, pulling it on just seconds before the door is flung open and Effie comes in. She immediately grabs his arm and starts towing him out of his room on the train, and down the hallway to the dining room, where all the tables have been pushed aside, and Katniss and Peeta are sitting on tall, straight-backed chairs by the edge of the room.

And then Effie tells him exactly why he is here. And he really wished he had just stayed in bed.


Effie was just trying to do her job. Before they reached the Capitol, where there would be parties to attend, Katniss and Peeta needed to be taught the proper dances. She had shown them how to stand and where to place their hands. She had given them simple, clear instructions to follow. She had even tried to refrain from nagging them too much, even though she absolutely couldn't help slipping in a few comments here and there. And the dances weren't even that complicated! So she couldn't understand why the two tributes had continued to trip over each other's feet, flail their arms at random moments, and ultimately look like were both having seizures.

Of course, Effie didn't know that Katniss and Peeta had planned the whole thing, and had had quite a fun time pretending to be completely incompetent dancers. Even Katniss, who didn't really believe in doing things like this. Effie did eventually snap and shove Katniss aside, saying that she would use Peeta to show them the dance, and then let them practice together again. So then Peeta enjoyed doing things such as stepping on her feet and "accidentally" causing her to trip several times, knocking her pink wig askew.

Just as they had planned, Effie eventually decided she needed a better partner, leaving her with the options of either Cinna, or…Haymitch.

Well, she thought, I would rather just let these two continue embarrassing themselves than set foot anywhere near that drunk. The man might not actually be so bad I've he'd sober up once in a while, learn some manners, and actually try to look somewhat presentable! I've seen him a few times before when he's cleaned up, he's actually kind of attract-


She snapped out of her thoughts and realized she had been lost in them for quite some time.

"Oh! My apologies! I'll just go fetch Cinna and we'll show you how it's-"

"Effie." Peeta interrupted. "Cinna is very busy. He has to design and make all of Katniss' dresses for the Captiol. I don't think you should interrupt him.

Both Peeta and Katniss knew that this was most likely untrue. Due to his workaholic nature, Cinna had probably completed all of Katniss' dresses weeks ago. But Effie was in the dark, so she was forced to mutter "Fine" and stalk off towards Haymitch's room.

Within a few minutes, she is back, dragging a tired, rumpled, protesting Haymitch behind her. But she ignores all of his complaints. Until she tells him what he is there for.


Haymich's eyes go wide, and he freezes. Then, he jerks out of her grasp and starts walking towards the door. Katniss and Peeta jump up to block his path, and they stare each other down for a moment before Effie grabs his arm and drags him back to the center of the room.

"Haymitch," she hisses, "Katniss and Peeta need to be taught the proper dances for the Capitol. And apparently, just being instructed isn't enough, so you are going to help me."

"And why should I?" he growled back. "I really couldn't care less if those two go and embarrass themselves!"

Effie's eyes narrowed into slits, and it was one of those rare moments where Haymitch was actually a little intimidated by her.

"Because, Haymitch, in case you haven't noticed, we are on a train. So, all we have to do is order your stupid alcohol removed, and there won't be any more. And I can make sure you won't be having any in the Capitol, either."

Haymitch opened his mouth to argue, but then, realized she was right. He growled, and cursed his dependence on that damn alcohol. Effie knew she had won.

"Katniss! Peeta! Turn on the music please!"

Peeta obeys and presses a button on a stainless steel remote, grinning smugly at Katniss because his plan is working out perfectly. A slow waltz begins to play.

"Now, Haymitch," Effie instructed, "if you will just cooperate, this will be a lot more pleasant for both of us. Now, just put your hand on my waist, and-"

"Sweetheart, I'd rather just go through the withdrawl symptoms," He spat, secretly worried that he may not be able to control himself, with her being in that tight, tight pink dress. He may not particularly like the woman, but he had to admit she wasn't exactly ugl-

"Haymitch Abernathy! Are you even listening to me? Hands. On. My. Waist!"

He grits his teeth and slides his hand onto her waist, and she glares at him but gives a small nod of approval.

"Now, just take my other hand, and-"

His eyes almost bug out of his head. "What?!"

Effie gives him a fierce, and even if she currently looks more intimidating than President Snow himself, he can't help but think how attractive it looks. Wait…what?!

He realizes she is still staring murderously at him, and he takes her hand with it's long, perfectly polished nails. Some emotion flickers across her face, but it's so fast he can't tell what. He guesses disgust.

Effie shuffles a bit closer to him, and begins to lead him to the music, dictating to Katniss and Peeta exactly what she's doing. Haymitch has his eyes glued to the floor, and only realizes when she kicks him in the leg with one of her pointy toed shoes that he isn't moving.

He swallows, and makes and effort to move his feet, feeling utterly ridiculous, and telling himself firmly that no, he does not care that she smells like a combination of citrus and strawberries.

He kind of tunes out, and just lets Effie lead him across the floor, not noticing when Katniss and Peeta quietly exchange a glance and slip out of the room. Effie doesn't notice either, and she keeps chirping out instructions on the dance, oblivious to the fact that her pupils have disappeared. Haymitch isn't listening either, he's now watching her long, fake eyelashes flutter open and closed.

Wait. Her eyelashes? What is he thinking? When did they get that close together?

And apparently Effie has noticed too, because her instructions trail off, and they just stare at each other.

Haymitch now has his gaze fixed on her bright pink lipstick coated lips, and leans in slightly without realizing.

Effie's head is spinning, and it's not just from the smell of the whiskey on him. All her thoughts being jumbled together, but one thought rises to the surface of her mind.

Do you realize what you're doing? Do you really want to kiss him?

And, after thinking it over for a millisecond, she realizes yes. Yes she does.


Peeta is peeking in the door, trying to see what's going on, when Katniss grabs his collar and pulls him back.

"What are you doing? If they're doing what you think there are, do you seriously want to watch them?"

Peeta blushes, and backs away from the door.

"Well, not really, but I did kind of want to know if the plan worked."

Suddenly, he is shoved aside by Haymitch, as he stumbles down the hall towards his room. But not before they notice the bright pink lipstick smeared all over his face.

Katniss turns to her fellow victor and says, with just a hint of a smile,

"Does that answer your question?"

Peeta just grins.

So, did you guys like it? I'm no Suzanne Collins, but I don't think it was too awful. I'd really appreciate if you could tell me what you thought in a review, it'll help me improve my writing! Thanks Guys!