Disclaimer: I don't own

A/N: I'm writing this because I feel far too ill to risk messing with my other fics. Ill again! Bleh. I love the back up plan so much! And I hope I do the plot justice by writing this fic but bare in mind I am ill so I'm probably not thinking all too clearly.

Becker awoke with a start as his alarm clock blared out noisily from his bedside table. He waited for exactly two minutes as his mind lazily floated out of it's previous sleep ridden state and into what could be considered as just about conscious, then, wiping a hand wearily over his face, he turned it off.

Staring up at his stark white ceiling he frowned. There was definatly something about today that was ultimately important but he just couldn't remember what it was. Then it hit him, like a ton of bricks crushing his soul. Today he was going back to the place that he had promised himself that he would never enter again. Today was the day that he was going to go back to the Arc.

His stomach muscles twisted into a firm knot as anxiety gurgled up within him. Was he ready for this? He really didn't know the answer to that question, and he wasn't looking forward to finding out the answer either. He had to be ready though because if he wasn't ….

People could die, good people, innocents, civilians ; they'd all die if he wasn't fully prepared for this. His heart throbbed with a sorrow that Becker had become far to accustomed to over the past few months.

He hadn't been ready before, and because of that he'd lost some very good friends.

Closing his eyes he took a moment to remember the old team.

The first person that he took the time to think about was Cutter. Ah, how that raggedy professor had gotten under his skin. They had never agreed on anything but on the very rare occasions that they did agree on something they had made a magnificent team. He missed him, truly, and perhaps his death was one of the hardest to cope with because it had been the first death to occur on Becker's watch. The first person he had failed to protect.

Then of course there was Connor, Abby and Danny. All of whom he had been exceptionally close with, and all of whom were lost forever in an eternity of anomalies and worlds so futile that chances of survival were fainter than a pencil smudge on a piece of paper. Becker knew in his heart he should have given up on them after the second search party was sent out. However he hadn't listened to his heart but his gut instinct that had told him that somehow, somewhere, they were all alive. He knew now how foolish that had been of him, and how he had only caused more deaths by sending others after them. He knew that they were dead, and that's what hurt the most. He'd never have another argument with Abby about the topic of shooting dinosaurs ; something they had never come to an agreement on. He'd never see Connor's cheeky grin or hear his nickname ' action man' again. He had hated that nickname but now he would give anything to hear it again, anything. He smiled gently to himself as he remembered the big hearted police man, Danny Quin. Danny had been a stubborn pain in the butt, but had been a great mate, and now he was gone too.

Then there was Sarah ….

Sweet in every single way, with a heart of pure gold. Her screams still haunt his every thought. The image of the usual life draining away from her hazel eyes bores into his mind, even now, and he can still feel her slick red blood flowing underneath his palms.

All that death, all that waste of life, it had left him with a sickening fear within his heart, mind and soul. That's why he hadn't wanted to return to his post at the Arc. That's why he had very nearly topped himself only a few weeks back. He had given up on everything even his own life.

However after a heart to heart chat with Lester he had realised something. He couldn't change the past, but he could make sure there were no future repeats. He remembered Lester's firm belief that the old team were still alive and the tears pooling in the older mans eyes. ( It was Probably the most emotional he had ever seen the usually sarcastic and emotionally reserved man.)

Of course he didn't believe Lester's words. He would have before Sarah had died but now all the hope that he had had in finding his old friends had be extinguished, but Lester had had some other rather valid points. He could stop more deaths. He could protect the new team. He could do it, and he would do it.

However with this new team Becker wasn't about to walk in with open arms, wearing his heart on his sleeve. No! Becker would be there to protect them and nothing else. Socialising with them would cause him to be distracted and he just couldn't afford distraction. He couldn't afford to get close to people ever again.

Snapping his eyes open, he rolled himself out from under his thick duvet covers and pushed himself up to his feet. He stretched and yawned, almost jumping out of his skin as his mobile let off a shrill ring. Rolling his eyes he picked it up and answered the call, " Hello. Becker speaking. " He mumbled gruffly down the phone.

" You're late!" Came the yelled reply.

Becker shook his head and hummed. Same old Lester then. Some things never change, " So, fire me. " He deadpanned.

" Just get in here now captain! " Lester's voice boomed from down the other line. Becker smirked, he knew that all the threats were empty but it was mildly amusing to hear Lester getting worked up.

" What's that sir? You're breaking up …." He made a slow drawling noise and clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue.

" Becker don't you dare! Don't hang up captain. Oh, what's the use? Just get your sorry self in here now. The medics need to give all personnel a full medical check up and you're no exception, so hurry up!" Becker could practically see the vein in Lester's head bulging in rage.

Flipping his phone shut he sighed.

Today was going to be a long day.

Please leave a review to let me know what you think. Next chapter will involve Jess and we see a little bit of Jecker's start.