"Yes!" yelled a happy voice from down the hall. Dark Pit grunted and sunk down into the soft pillows on the library couch. He groaned as none other than Pit ran into the room, obviously full of excitement. "I've got something to tell you!" Pit squealed. "Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!" Dark Pit snapped as he buried his head in cushions. Pit immediately froze, a serious expression on his face. For a long while none of them spoke. Eventually, Dark Pit pulled himself up. "Okay, wadd'ya wanna say? He asked with mock enthusiasm. Pit stood there for a minute, biting his lip, a goofy smile spread across his face. "Oh, okay, here it goes: LADY PALUTENA IS LETTING ME COOK!" Pit squealed, jumping up and down. "Not again!" Dark Pit groaned, facepalming himself as he remembered when his counterpart attempted to cook. "Don't you remember what happened last time?"
Lady Palutena had been sick, and Pit had been nagging her to cook- like a small child nags their mother- and eventually, she'd had enough. "Alright Pit, how about you take my cookbooks and make yourself something, okay?" She said, trying to keep a warm and friendly tone. "Okay, Lady Palutena. Thanks!" Pit said as he ran out of the Goddess's room. She flopped backwards into her bed, with a sigh of relief.
Dark Pit walked into the kitchen, hand-in-hand with Lina, to find eggs on the floor, cake mix spewed across the counter, and many unrecognizable things plastered to the ceiling with a dough-like substance. Of course, at the heart of the massacre was Pit, spatula in hand. "You need help, Pit-Fart." Dark Pit said with a smirk. Lina elbowed him in the ribs and glared at the dark angel. "No offence Pit, but you do need help." Lina said with a giggle. She let go of Dark Pit's hand, crushing his foot with the heel of her boot. "YEOWZA!" The dark angel cried, grabbing his foot and spreading his wings wide to stay balanced. "Learn to shut up, okay?" Lina said over her shoulder as she walked towards Pit.
"So, what are you trying to make?" The golden winged angel asked. "This!" Pit said, handing Lina a stack of papers. "Crab cakes?" Lina asked, wrinkling her nose. "I hate seafood, but I'll help anyway. " She said, sifting through the paper. "Count me in too- I can't miss Pit making the oven explode." Dark Pit said with a laugh. "Alright then," Lina said, as she finally found the paper she wanted. "First things first, we need… what? This makes no sense!" Lina said, sounding quite annoyed. "Let me see," Dark Pit said, snatching the papers. "Two pounds of... in other words we need poo…" Dark Pit said, sounding quite unnerved. "Well, if it's in Lady Palutena's recipes, then it has to be good." Pit said, as he walked out of the kitchen with Dark Pit, off to find- well, you know what- leaving Lina alone.
"Okay, what next?" Lina asked herself as she read the paper, her expression turning from happiness to utter disgust. "The recipe doesn't even have crab in it!" She exclaimed. "Wait- if there's no seafood in it, then they can't hog it all!" Lina said joyfully, rushing around the kitchen, pulling things out of cupboards, and cleaning Pit's 'delicious creations' off of the floor. "We're back," Dark Pit said, sounding quite angry. He walked into the room holding a big black bag as far away from himself as he possibly could. "Pit was supposed to carry it- but he chickened out- Acero made me carry it instead." Dark Pit complained as he shoved the bag onto a chair. "We found the first ingredient, though I have no clue what we need it for." Pit said, pinching his nose and cringing at the smell. "As you said Pit, 'if it's in Lady Palutena's recipes, then it has to be good'." Lina said, piling ingredients of all shapes, colours and sizes onto the counter.
"Okay, let's see- what do we have to mix together again?" Dark Pit asked as he mixed a red powder into a vat of gooey black liquid. "You mix the red powder stuff with the- waste- and then you… kneed it?" Lina answered, cocking her head to the side. "Ah, whatever. Just do it!" Lina said in defeat, turning to Pit. "I heated the oven to 529 degrees, Lina." Pit called. "It's 925 degrees, idiot." Dark Pit snapped. "I'll push you into that mush if you talk to him like that again!" A strong feminine voice yelled. Everyone stopped and looked toward the door. Celina stood, leaning against the doorframe, looking not too pleased with the dark angel. "Fine," He snapped back, glaring. "One more word and that toga of yours might just turn pink- and I might just work on your hair too." Celina said with a devilish smile. Dark Pit looked at the corner of his toga and saw it start to turn pink. "NO! No magic, PLEASE!" He begged as the pink disappeared. "You've been warned," Celina said slyly, as she walked over to Lina.
The angel mage looked at the stack of papers- still clenched tightly in Lina's hands- and smirked. "Crab cakes? Easy. Just mix everything together at once- don't give it time to rise- just throw it into the oven as soon as you can- it doesn't matter if it's well blended, it just matters if you can get it in the oven!" Celina said hurriedly as she grabbed ingredients from random places. She dumped it all into the vat that Dark Pit had been using and moved him aside. "Watch this," She said happily. With a twirl of her finger, everything mixed together, making a brown, black and grey slop. "Done," She said, using magic to pour the strange liquid into a pan. "Into the oven it goes," Celina said as she pushed the pan through the open door of the oven. She rammed it closed and then checked the temperature. "925? Way too cool! More like… 1025!" She said as she turned one of the many dials.
"That smells horrendous!" Dark Pit whined as he plugged his nose. "Do crab cakes taste better than they smell?" Pit asked Lina. "I hope so," She replied. Suddenly, the oven began to shake side to side. "D'aww great, here we go!" Pit said as he watched smoke erupt from the bottom of the oven. With a loud bang, the door popped open, and –no one could believe their eyes- Hades popped out. "Hades?" The angels asked in confusion. "Yes, I have returned!" The evil God bellowed. "Don't ask how I got here, the writer of this stuff knows- not me." Hades said as Lina's eyes opened wide in fear. "Hades you idiot, you just broke the fourth wall!" Lina yelled as an explosion could be heard from outside. (The fourth wall is the barrier between reality and fantasy- there were four built in total. Hades broke the first three, and now the fourth too) Suddenly, hundreds of video game fans burst through the door. "HIDE!" Pit shrieked as the group of angels hid inside large cupboards.
"Look, it's Hades!" A girl yelled from the center of the mob. Destroying everything in their path, the mob grabbed Hades. "HELP ME!" The Underworld God screamed as the fans dragged him out of the room, and into the reality world. "They stole my armguards- without even touching me!" Pit squeaked as he clambered out of his hiding place. "Creepy fans." Lina said, looking around cautiously, making sure there were no crazy fan-girls hiding in the room. "Note to self: build the fifth wall," Celina muttered, smoothing her toga. "Note to self: do not let Pit cook without supervision." Lady Palutena said from behind the group of angels. They turned around to see the tall Goddess frowning down upon them. "Uh oh." Dark Pit muttered. "Pit, which stack did you take that recipe from?" Lady Palutena asked. "The one with the sticky note that said 'Do'." Pit replied. Lady Palutena sighed and looked around the room. Everything was either overturned or in pieces. "That stack was labeled 'Do', as in 'Do NOT use'." Lady Palutena said. Dark Pit, Celina and Lina all stared at Pit in anger. "You'd better run, Pit-stain." Dark Pit said, cracking his knuckles. "You're dead meat!" Celina and Lina screamed as Pit took off out of the room, three angry angels on his heels.
"Well do you remember or what?" Dark Pit asked his counterpart. Pit furrowed his brown for a few seconds, then assuming a blank expression. "Nope," He replied. The two angels looked each-other in the eyes for a few minutes. "I'M NOT DYIN' TODAY!" Dark Pit shouted as he ran from the room in fear. Pit stood still for a few minutes, then smiled. "I was going to get help this time." He said as he spun on his heels, then walked away.