A/N : So, I just saw this draft lying around from months ago and decided to finish it even though I don't know if anyone will relate to it. If you find it the 'least bit funny, please, review! It might not make a lot of sense, but logic ain't my strong suit.
Jessie came down stairs after watching Ellen Degenerous, wiping the tears away from her eyes after a country gal from glade hills Alabama got a new mustang and a ticket to Texas Austin! "Hey guys, what's going on?" She questioned, relieved there was silence, but confused by it at the same time.
A round of 'SHHHHS' echoed throughout the Ross living room.
"Sorry, sorry, what's got you all so focused, PLEASE tell me its homework" She laughed a bit, amused by their franticness.
"Eww no, we're playing the Sims 3!" Emma explained, eyes still glued to her screen as were the rest of the children's.'
"And so you couldn't just use ONE computer?" Jessie sat on the couch next to Zuri. They all had their own laptops and were sitting on practically opposite sides of the room.
"No silly!" Zuri giggled as if that were the craziest thing she ever heard "We al have different neighborhoods, thank god! Those guys do NOT know how to play this game; they hardly have any panda dogs in their lots!"
Jessie nodded slightly-perplexed and said "So, how much did this game COST?"
"Don't look at me, I don't do numbers" Zuri held her hands up and stared back at her laptop.
Next Jessie turned to Emma, before she could say the original Ross's first name said girl yelled "I don't either, I do nails! Speaking of that, I forgot to put clip on nails on Ally. Plan outfit you go!"
"Ohkaaaaaaaay" Jessie shook her head. "Luke, mind telling me how much you spent on this?"
"Actually, I do" He stated. "Yes! 5th time I've seen the grim reaper today, WHAT!" He cheered afterwards.
"Actually brother, I do not think that is the goal of the game, rather than having them die you are suppose to fulfill their motives and have them live Everly happy after!" Ravi clarified.
"It's the Sims, there is no GOAL. Do not ruin it for me!" Luke yelled from his place on top of the piano.
"I TOLD you not to let him get the assassination mod but nooooo, nobody listens to the girl with the pigtails" Zuri rolled her eyes, all while typing in a cheat code that only looked like a bunch of random words put together in Jessie's eyes.
"Ugh, I should have never shared my origin account with you guys, obviously you can't handle a silly game maturely" Emma tried to act cool. "OMG, SERGIO HOW DID YOU EVEN GET PREGNANT, I was only gone for two minutes!" She squeaked afterwards.
"Ooooooh, he's got some explaining to do!" Ravi said.
"Yeah like, who's the daddy!" Luke agreed.
"I bet it's Barry tenderlove, with a name like that, who KNOWS what he has been doing" Zuri put in.
"I like him, we share a connection, both slick with the ladies" Luke bragged.
"And guys named Sergio" Emma cracked.
"Buuuuuuuuuuuurn" A blend of Zuri and Ravi's voices stated.
"Ha, ha, not funny" Luke frowned.
"Ok...SO confused" Jessie shook her head. "What's a mod, why can it assassinate, why is Sergio promiscuous, what the heck is a panda dog, and is Barry Tenderlove REALLY the daddy?"
"Oh Jessie, you're so terribly dumb" Zuri chirped.
"Nope, nope, I think its Gus hart. Wouldn't be my first choice, but Sergio has his weak moments. Sad people take advantage of him" Emma shook her head sadly.
"Yeah, reaaaaaaaaly mature Emma, are you going to go cry now" Luke questioned.
"I would get you tissues sister, but...I'd rather give little Ansari a custom food script for Kaali Daal. These modders really know how to get straight to my little Indian heart" Ravi sighed in content.
"No hellsing, stay away from mermaid's imaginary friend!" Zuri cried.
"Uh, does anyone want to go to the park?" Jessie tried, in utter bewilderment.
"Good idea Jessie! I always forget to send my simmies outside, poor Mika is going stir crazy, off to the park you go" Emma smiled.
"I let my little Ansari explore the world everyday, there is so much to see, so much to explore...if only I could travel the lands she has stepped upon" Ravi gushed.
"Yeah yeah, shut your piehole, Baby marmalade is playing her xylophone and creating the most beautiful sounds known to mankind!"
"Oh please my sim's band would kill Baby marmalade's xylophone act" Luke said.
"And everything else too" Emma exclaimed referring to the assassination fascination.
"And I thought that killer dolls were scary"... Zuri said.
"Ok, so, nobody wants to go to the park, and they're more interested in xylophone acts...what to do?" Jessie mumbled to herself, all while shaking her head at how weak-minded today's children were, becoming addicted to such things.
"Ok, Emma" Jessie got up, and hovered over the girl. "How about you get off there and get some fresh mall air? I'm sure your mom won't mind a day of unlimited shopping to help you quit a unhealthy game that, by the way, is totally not helping you keep that perfect figure of yours" She said, knowing flattery was the best form to get her way with Emma.
Emma immediately retracted her fingers from the laptop and onto her stomach. "Oh my god" She said. "Poor stomach...I can't believe I've been sitting on my butt feeding you potato chips when I could be burning useful calories while making a huge difference-Well, to my wardrobe, of course!"
Jessie laughed "Yeah, you know that card is just calling your name Emma, can't you hear it?" She began to, obviously, echo Emma's name into the air and Emma laughed as well. "I'll be changed in twenty, brb!" She ran off to her room excitedly.
"And Zuri...you know, before the mall, there's that new Toys R us that opened up...and I think I They have plenty of cabbage patch dolls, maybe you might wanna add to your family?"
It got Zuri's attention but she hesitated. "I don't know, I don't just let ANYONE near chubby the bear, he can get a bit snippy!"
"Well you never know till you try, maybe you can find his best friend?"
"Hmm, true, he has been looking a bit lonely ever since Chocó the Chinchilla had to take the trip to the big ol' trashcan…" Zuri frowned.
"Yeah, what happened to him anyways?" Jessie asked.
"Mr. Kipling, nuff said" Zuri shook her head. "I have to go put my family hunting tutu on!" She went up the stairs quickly.
The next kid would be easy, Jessie knew, she simply walked up to Ravi, tapped his shoulder two times and waited for a "Yes Jessie?" That she received a few seconds later. She then put on her guilt trick face "Raaaavii, I'm pretty sure I recall hearing you tell Mr. Kipling that you'd go to the store and get him some of those Chocolate covered beetles in a jar, at the special pet store, remember?"
He cowered under her gaze and tried to think back to yesterday. "Oh my Tandoori!" He yelled after a few seconds "I cannot believe I have forgotten such a thing. I was so focused on this mindless game that I almost broke a promise to my dear Mr. Kipling!" He rambled, closing his laptop immediately. "You must take me to the store Jessie, You must! I only have till Midnight to fulfill my promise!"
"Ok, ok, go get changed out of your footies and then I'll take you RIGHT away" Jessie replied, patting his head. He obliged and went to put on a more age appropriate outfit.
She didn't exactly have an approach for the last kid so she just started to call his name "Luke" repeatedly as she made her way over to him. "Ohh luuuke"
He didn't reply. "LUKE!" She yelled when she was right next to him he jumped. "What, can't you see that I'm trying to kill a clavell here with my newest technique?"
Jessie was somewhat curious about the technique and was about to ask what it was but then she shook her head "Luke, stop playing that game now because if you don't you…" Jessie trailed off for a second.
A way to get Luke to stop playing a game? She had never come up with a method for his video games and usually gave up.
"If I don't, I'll WHAT?" He challenged. "Are you gonna get your magic nanny wand and zap me to my room?" He laughed.
Jessie crossed her arms and shrugged "I was just going to say if you don't I definitely won't give you that loooong hug I was planning on for you being SUCH an obedient kid this past week"
Luke's smug face turned to a bewildered one quickly his eyebrows quirking up. "Really?" He perked.
"Tootally" Jessie lied through her teeth. Luke had been the worse, actually. He had given Bertram eighteen wedgies; it was his all time record!
"Hey, you know what? I'm suddenly feeling the urge to go mall shopping with my wooooonderful family, yay mall!" Luke fake cheered enthusiastically then leaving the room to freshen up.
Ha, who said using your looks couldn't get you anywhere? Jessie said out loud. Then she remembered it was her Aunt bertha whom said that...
It made sense her aunt liked to think that...she didn't have any looks to get her anywhere to begin with unless you wanted to count the look she gave her Husband Earl when he didn't listen to her. Who knew a hint of crooked teeth and a lazy eye death glare could get a man to do whatever you wanted him to? Jessie chortled to herself as she went to find a nice pair of overalls to wear.
It was just an overalls feeling kinda day, ya know? Though she was sure Emma was NOT gonna be fond of her choice in clothing.
3:00 AM in the morning
"NO MARY YOU CAN'T DIE!" Jessie sat in her bedroom, Zuri's laptop in hand. She had been playing the Sims for 3 hours and had finally gotten the hang of it. She frowned as Mary the mermaid fell to the floor, gripping her stomach.
Well. She sort of got the hang of it.
"Oh no, Zuri is gonna KILL me" Jessie sighed.
"You got that right" Zuri stood arms crossed at the doorway; she had been there for about 10 minutes waiting to be noticed. "Hand it over Jessie" She came into the room, holding her hands out.
"Waiiit, one more hour! I have to learn how to revive her! Oh and Chubby almost has a promotion, and he's soo lazy, so that's something!" Jessie resisted.
"Jessie, its o clock in the morning, and we ALL know you needs your beauty rest!" Zuri shook her head, reaching for her laptop again.
"Oh forget that, who needs beauty when you can send plastically perfect Sims to the night club and get your dream guy all while sitting on your rear end!" Jessie enthused.
"That is sad on SO many levels" Zuri said. "Whatever, but just remember you promised to have banana nut pancakes on the table when I woke up and you told me NEVER to break a promise"
"Yeah yeah, just quit your yapping would ya? I'm trying to concentrate here" Jessie waved her towards the door.
Walking away Zuri mumbled "Nannies these days, their brains are so fragile getting obsessed with silly stuff" She of course, had already moved on to a new fad, numbers for enemies. She was convinced THAT was serious gaming. The Sims was totally for babies.
Needless to say though, Zuri did not get her pancakes that next morning and Jessie did not come out of the room once...Not even for bathroom breaks!
So there it is my first Jessie and my first story not shipping anyone, haha. What do you think? Anything I need to work on? Review please! I need them so that I know if anyone wants me to continue making Jessie stories!