Author's Note: So, this is just a cute one-shot thought up right off the top of my head! I discussed it over with my beta, Kenzie before posting it! Anyway here it is!
Even though right then neither of us spoke it was like we were having a conversation without words. Then, ever so slowly, he brushes his soft pink lips against mine, almost as if by accident, but I knew it was no accident. He pulls himself away from me just as quickly as he'd kissed me.
There's obvious dissapointment on my face, and I know he can see it. I know this is weird being best friends and all but it all just felt right. I wanted so badly to mold my body into his and kiss him untill he can't breathe. Okay, a tad cliche' but still.
I can see pain in his eyes before he tears his gaze from mine. I know this is hard. We've been through so much, so why couldn't we be together? We were both in love with each other? Why was it so damn hard?
Neither of us speak. Words can't describe what we're feeling right now. So, i finaly whisper his name, "Billy?" He doesn't look at me, he just keeps staring out into the darkness. a few minutes pass by and he still doesn't say anything.
I shiver in the cool midnight air, regretting that I hadn't brought out a sweater with me when Billy had asked if we could talk outside. On instinict he shrugs out of his jacket and wraps it around me. It's the first time since the kiss that he's looked at me. The pain is still visiable in his eyes.
As if there was a magnetic force between us, pulling us to each other, he qucikly graps my face and kisses me. We tangle our hands in each other's hair and kiss like there's no tomorrow. Okay, seriously i'm going crazy but i don't know...I don't even think my brain as caught up with what's happening.
He slides his fingers, numb from the cold, slowly downwards. He stops at the collar of my jacket, his jacket, and grips onto it. He brings me even closer to him, even though we're already pressed up against each other. His lips were cold at first from the December air but now they're warm from kissing me. I slide my fingers downwards, like him. They come to a stop at his neck, and so I wrap my arms tightly around him and kiss him with more force.
My insides turn to butter as he deepens the kiss. He tangles his hands in my wild mess of curls again as I slightly put more of my weight on him.
He quickly but gently shoves me off him. That hurt more than the first time. He sits back up on the outdoor couch and takes deep breathes as i do also. Even after we've caught our breath he doesn't look at me.
Trying to control the tears that are sure to come I pull his jacket close around me. He grips the material of the couch, his short fingernails digging into it with such force I think he might rip it. After he's finally let go and leans his head back, on the back of the couch, he sneaks a peek at me. There's still that pain in his eyes. The pain that somehow looks worse than mine.
After a couple of agonizing seconds I whimper, "Billy?" He continues to stare at me. His ocean blue eyes boring holes into mine. The pain starts to increase so high from his stare I'm forced to look away. My eyes land upon the faint light I can see in the distance, coming from the house across the street from us. Whoever those people are inside of that house they're doing far better than I am. They're probably curled up next to the warmth of the fireplace instead of freezing on a couch with a boy I'm in love with.
"I'm sorry." he finally whispers. His soft croak startles me. I whip around to face him. I can see tears dripping off his face, onto his pant's leg. Thankfully since i had left the kitchen light on in the house I can see him. The pain is still there, and I don't know why.
"You're sorry?" I mock sarcastily. How can he do that? How can we share somthing so...so...special and all he can say is he's sorry?
"I'm sorry." he repeats. His voice is even quieter, so quiet i wouldn't have been surprised if I hadn't of heard him.
"You...can't. How can you...why...?" I'm at a complete loss for words. In that moment the light from across the street snaps off, leaving us in darker light. But, it's just light enough to see him...in phsical pain? Like him kissing me caused him actual pain.
"Billy, what's going on? Are you okay?" My voice is a terrifed squeak. again, he doesn't answer. He quickly shuts his eyes closed, and I can see him mouthing numbers. Seriously?
His eyes slowly flutter open and he blinks a few times in shock. "Billy?" he finally speaks by saying, "Janey...I thought this was a dream" I chuckle at his use of words, at how sappy they sounded. A small smile crept across his face, pleased that I didn't think he was totally lame.
"Tell me, is this a dream Nutter?" I grap his face and kiss him, the same way he'd kissed me. I noticed how my choice of words sounded just as sappy as his did. He pulls me ontop of him and runs his hands along my back. And, so even after we stopped our little make out session I still lay ontop of him, but i'd twisted my body around so that I could look up at the sky. There we layed, looking up at the stars, as if nothing could ruin this perfect moment.