A/N: In the first book, Ana told Christian she'd try being his submissive at her graduation. Of course, he gives her more time to think it over and she never signs the contract. I wondered how things may have progressed had she signed and officially become his sub. How long can Ana follow Christian's rules? How will Christian deal with his feelings for his sub?
This story picks up the night of her graduation when he comes over to iron out the 'soft limits' and seal the deal. The very first part is directly from the book just to setup the scene. But don't worry; I won't be making a habit of regurgitating the book word-for-word. I just need to put things in context. The story will be AU after that, although I'm sure I'll use pieces and parts of canon.
We've been going through the soft limits for what feels like hours. It is so surreal. Honestly it's like he's negotiating a business arrangement. The thought is depressing. You are a business arrangement, my oh-so-helpful subconscious snarks.
He pauses and waits patiently while I read through the list of punishments he's just flipped over to – like I haven't memorized that disturbing list already. It's burnt into my brain - thank you very much. Luckily, my subconscious is too terrified by the looks of it to even try being snarky again.
Finally, Christian speaks, breaking through my building panic.
"Well, you said no to genital clamps. That's fine. It's caning that hurts the most."
"We can work up to that."
"Or not do it at all," I whisper.
"This is part of the deal, baby, but we'll work up to all of this. Anastasia, I won't push you too far."
"This punishment thing, it worries me the most." My voice is very small.
"Well, I'm glad you've told me. We'll keep caning off the list for now. And as you get more comfortable with everything else, we'll increase intensity. We'll take it slow."
I swallow, and he leans forward and kisses me on my lips.
"There, that wasn't so bad was it?"
I shrug, my heart in mouth again. Then he pulls out a pen and I nearly swallow said heart.
He quickly strikes through 'suspension', 'fisting' and 'genital clamping' – efficiently initialing the changes as he goes. Yes, this is exactly like negotiating a business deal. A very bizarre business deal.
"You said you would try, Anastasia," he says softly as he holds the pen and the contract over to me.
He looks a bit anxious, but I can guarantee I have him beat on that front. But there's something about the hope and vulnerability in his burning gaze… I can't disappoint this man. I did give my word. I said I would try.
I take the contract and the pen – which is heavy, bears his initials, and is probably worth more than my car, I think bitterly. With a shaking hand I flip back through the paperwork, noting that the previously agreed upon changes are still intact. The crazy food provisions have been struck through, along with the changes to the sleeping and exercise schedule.
I flip back to the last page and close my eyes, taking one huge breath. I am both glad and disappointed that my subconscious is not screaming her head off at me to stop this madness. Truthfully, I think she has passed out. My inner goddess, on the other hand, is acting like a child who has had way too much sugar - bouncing up and down and begging me to sign.
So, I do it. I put pen to paper and I sign: Anastasia R. Steele May 26, 2011
Christian lets out a long, shaky sigh from beside me. I think he's been holding his breath. I sit stunned, gazing down at my hands, barely registering when he slides the paper and the pen over to himself. I can hear a quick scratching noise as he quickly signs and dates, officially declaring himself my Dom.
What have you done, you IDIOT?! My subconscious has apparently found some smelling salts, but she's a bit too slow on the draw.
Before I have a chance to think or do anything else, I am crushed in Christian's arms. He hugs me fiercely, then reaches up to place a hand on either side of my face and tips my head back as he presses his lips to mine in a deep, possessive, almost bruising kiss.
Whatever sane thoughts I have are immediately lost in the onslaught of his passion. This man knows exactly how to make my body bend to him and take away all of my better senses. Even my subconscious at her sternest is no match for full-on amorous Christian.
"Oh Ana," he whispers fervently against my ear. "Thank you for giving me this chance. I promise that you will not regret it. I will show you a whole new world, baby," he promises.
With a firm grip to my upper arms he pushes me back so that I can see his face. His smile is electrifying. He's so beautiful it takes my breath away. I have never seen him so full of joy. Is he always this happy when a new sub signs her contract?
"Miss Steele," he nearly purrs. "I don't recall granting you permission to look at me."
All the blood drains from my face. Oh god. He's serious about all those rules. Of course he is, you moron! What did you expect?
His smile is still in place and I relax a little, but I quickly cast my eyes downward away from his face. I so love to look at this face, but - in for a penny, in for a pound. This is what I signed up for.
"Sorry," I murmur.
"Sorry, what?" he says. He doesn't sound angry, but there is a definite air of authority in his tone.
"I'm sorry, Sir," I amend in a low whisper.
"Good girl," he says proudly as he places a finger beneath my chin. "Now look at me."
I peek up at him through my lashes. His gray eyes are still dancing with joy and he smiles at me. I can feel my misgivings melting a little under his warm regard.
"See, I told you I would go slowly with you, Anastasia. I know you haven't done this before. I will earn your trust. You'll see."
I return his smile, not sure of what to say. My thoughts are completely scattered. It's almost like none of this is real. Like it is happening to someone else and I'm just watching.
He gracefully rises and holds out a hand to me. "Come," he says, "I have something I'd like to show you before I take you to bed."
He drapes his jacket over my shoulders and heads for the door, leading me by the hand. "I got you a graduation present," he says in reply to my silent query. "As my sub, I will expect you to accept it graciously. I will be very displeased if you attempt to defy me in this matter." There is suddenly a hard edge in his voice. It has begun.
Parked outside is a red hatchback car, a two-door compact Audi. I am not surprised.
"Happy graduation," he says as he puts an arm around me and squeezes lightly. He looks extremely smug and proud of himself, and part of me longs to bring him down a peg or two. I shudder to think how much that thing must have cost. I was crazy thinking I could do this. I'm so angry with him right now.
But you just signed the contract two seconds ago, my inner goddess whines at me. You have to at least give it a chance. Pleeeaasse! She's on her knees, begging. I'm beginning to realize that she has absolutely no shame.
"Thank you for the car, sir," I say as sweetly as I can manage.
His lips are in a thin line and the hard glint is back in his eyes. It is obvious that he is not entirely pleased with my reaction.
That's because he expects you to swoon and spread your legs like a proper whore.
I'd argue back with the harpy if I didn't agree with her. I can't do this. I can't be his kept woman. Christian can call this arrangement whatever he likes, but a hooker under contract is exactly what I am to him. I want to cry.
"Look at me, Anastasia," he commands, though his tone is soft. "Do you not like it?" he asks. "I can buy you something else if you prefer. Saab also makes a very reliable, very safe car. If you'd like, I can take you shopping for one of those." There is a certain desperation in his manner and I realize that he truly wants to please me. I am so confused by this man. Will I ever figure him out?
"It's lovely," I say simply, trying to manage a smile. "I'm just a bit overwhelmed by all of this. This car probably cost more than I'll make in an entire year. It's a huge adjustment," I say with a shrug, hoping he will understand my position.
He runs a hand through his hair. He's frustrated with me, I can tell.
"You must get over this, Ana. You are mine now and I take care of what is mine. You will have the best. Unless you'd prefer a Saab, I will consider this matter closed."
Oooh, he's so bossy and formal! I have the urge to laugh at him, although I highly doubt that would be considered appropriate in his present mood.
"I like the Audi," I say, trying to suppress my grin. "Thank you, sir."
He smiles back at me, apparently mollified for the moment.
"Good. Now let's get you into bed and see about furthering your training."
There's a wicked gleam in his eyes and I am both excited and a bit afraid at once. I never know what he has in mind.
"Oh, I'm all about pleasure tonight, Miss Steele," he assures me with a wink. He really can read me my mind it seems.
As soon as we're back indoors he pulls his jacket from my shoulders and hangs it on the rack by the door. "Go to the bedroom and take all your clothes off… except for the shoes," he orders smoothly. "I'll be right behind you."
All the muscles below my waist clench and my blood races in anticipation. Perhaps this deal wasn't a mistake after all.
I hurry to do his bidding, quickly shedding myself of Kate's dress and my panties, but leaving on my borrowed high-heeled pumps. I am not sure what to do with myself when I'm finished so I perch on the edge of my bed, waiting. What's keeping him? It's not like my apartment is large and almost everything has already been packed away.
I'm almost ready to combust with lust and nervous anticipation by the time he comes casually strolling through the door. His eyes burn as they settle on me.
"You're biting your lip, Anastasia," he says sternly. "You know what that does to me. You wouldn't be deliberately teasing me, now would you?"
I immediately release my lip from between my teeth. I didn't even realize I was doing it. It's simply ingrained habit. "No, sir," I gasp as my body floods with desire at his heated gaze. He's still fully dressed in his jeans and a t-shirt. It makes me much more aware of my own nudity and I blush furiously. I can acutely feel that the balance of power lies strictly in his favor… it's so hot.
"Stand up," he commands softly. "I want to look at you."
I do as I'm bid and stand up, praying that I don't stumble on Kate's heels. Miraculously I manage to do so halfway gracefully. Miracles never cease. I stand there nervously as he looks me over. I have to make a conscious effort not to bite my lip again.
"You're fidgeting," Miss Steele. "You should be much more confident in yourself. You look absolutely stunning. Those legs alone are a sight for sore eyes."
Stunning? Oh god, sometimes he can be so charming.
"Are you wet for me?" he asks bluntly. He really has no boundaries.
"Yes," I mumble, my face flaming with embarrassment.
"Just 'yes'" he prompts darkly.
"Good girl. I like it when you're wet for me. But you have to show me this time. I'll need to see some proof." He sounds devious. Like the devil himself.
I gaze up at him in confusion. I hope that is okay. I'm still not clear on when permission to look at him expires. Apparently I am still allowed, because he gives me a genuine, although still quite predatory, smile.
"Oh Anastasia, you are still so innocent. I'm going to have such fun training you to please me." He takes a couple of steps closer so that he is barely an arm's reach away. "Turn around and bend over," he orders in a husky voice.
I turn around and bend over, my bare behind is high in the air. My pulse is racing. I can definitely play this game. Oh yes. I want to play this game.
"You need to spread your legs further apart," he growls and I do as I'm bid and shuffle my legs open, all the while concentrating on not turning my ankle in these heels.
"Now I want you to spread those delectable ass cheeks and let me see if you really are as wet and ready for me as you claim."
I gasp. My god this is embarrassing! But I also feel a thrill and another rush of moisture as I follow his command. The way his breath hisses between his teeth nearly causes me to climax right then and there. Suddenly, I feel very powerful.
"Oh Ana," he says reverently. "You are so wet and ready. I can see your juices glistening from here. You have no idea how happy that makes me."
He stands there gazing at me for a long moment, and then I hear the sound of his zipper coming down and the familiar rip of the foil that holds a condom. He's going to fuck me with all of his clothes on. Why is that such a turn on?
"Put your hands on the bed," he growls before burying himself deeply within me in one hard thrust. I'm so glad Kate's not home to hear me cry out.
"I'm going to fuck you very hard, Anastasia. You'll need to hold on tight. Are you ready?"
I whimper and wiggle my behind in reply. He pulls back and slams back into me roughly. "I asked you a question, Miss Steele."
"Yes, sir," I gasp breathlessly. "I'm ready…. Please."
He begins slamming into me and I really have to keep a tight grip on the mattress to keep from being knocked off my feet. He's barely started and I can already feel my orgasm building within me.
"You must ask for permission to come," he says, obviously sensing that I'm very close. He knows my body better than I do. It really is unfair. "I want you to beg me, Anastasia and I want you to address me as Mr. Grey when you do so."
It's so humiliating, but right now I don't care. I'm like a mad woman. All I can think of is the building pressure between my legs.
"Please, Mr. Grey," I beg between harsh breaths. "Please sir… pl-please let me come." I don't know how much longer I can hold out.
"Come, Anastasia. Come for me, baby. Give it to me. I want to feel it NOW."
At his command my body begins to fall apart around him and I realize that I've lost my grip on the side of the bed and am now face down on the mattress. He keeps a hard grip on my hips as he continues to pound into me. Then with a loud groan, he calls out my name and spills himself into me.
"Oh baby," he says as spins me around and flops down on the bed, holding me against his chest. I can hear and feel his heart pounding beneath my cheek. He grips me tightly and leans down to press a tender kiss against the top of my head. "You've made me a very happy man today," he says breathlessly. "A very happy man. You have no idea, Ana. I cannot even begin to describe it."
His words make me so happy. He sounds so sincere. Maybe I do mean something to him? For the moment I allow myself to enjoy being wrapped in his arms, to feel safe and warm. But deep down, I know a storm is coming. I know this contract will not come without consequences.