This is in responce to a challenge- they wanted to see Tony escape from being kidnapped by using an AI

Send me a challenge and i'll complete it for you!

Clint groaned as he opened his eyes- scanning his surroundings while hand instinctively went to the growing lump on the back of his head.

His first thought was confusion, and a slight anger that they had been captured so easily- who knew that tranquilizers affected Gods?

His second thought a slightly numb feeling that was halfway between amusement and annoyance.

He blinked, lifting himself up off the too white- pristine ground and blinked blearily, trying to make the bright alls stop burning his retinas.

"Hey hawkie! I wondered when you'd wake up!" Tony spoke from the wall, his voice unusually perky, and Clint swung his neck around, nearly flinching when he saw the dirty soiled clothes that stuck out so darkly in contrast to the wall.

"Dang- what happened to you, Stark?" Clint groaned, trying to rise to his feet while leaning against the wall for support.

It was Tony's turn to scoff, turning away to type on a computer, before responding.

"Some organization kidnapped us- well not really because Bruce is somewhere in India and Thor is in New Mexico. Anyways- Natasha woke up a few hours ago, and Steve's been on normal doses for a while now." Tony nonchalantly responded, typing another line that meant nothing to Clint.

"And you?" Clint asked dryly, taking note when Tony's hand stilled on the keyboard.

"…You know- toxic gas and all…" His voice had gone slightly higher with stress, and Clint frowned, getting up and awkwardly shuffling forward with his anklets.

"Tony- what are you making?" Clint asked low and carefully, eyes scrawling across the lines and lines of codes, numbers he couldn't read.

"I- they want an AI." Tony responded, hands shaking slightly as he continued to type the code.

Clint watched in silence.


It was what Clint thought was days later when they calmed down enough to have civil conversations.

It consisted of mainly insulting the guards that appeared and vanished, taking the trays of slop (Their second favorite conversation piece) away.

Maybe an entire week of sitting in a plain white room with floors that painfully made it a requirement to crack your back each day.

The code had lengthened into something long and complicated- Tony had tried to explain it to Clint, but after a near hour long rant about the voice recognition system, he zoned out and passed out on the floor.

Tony didn't try and explain anything about the code again.


Clint hated his hair.

There was a point his hair got to after a few days where it seemed someone had just poured a bucket of seal fat all over it- making it slick and rather disgusting looking.

Tony pointed it out, causing Clint to scowl and resist the urge to swat the billionaire as he continued to compare Clint's head with the 'underbelly of a wet beaver'

It seemed in Clint's opinion, that Tony was steadily getting a better grip on the events that led to their capture- not showing the slightest bits of worry for the others that could possibly be dead.

It was Clint's training that hid this from Tony, Tony had no excuse.

At least- until the men came.

When the doors opened, it was four Latino looking guys with large guns, rushing into the room and speaking in a hurriedly way, one pointing a gun at Clint before grabbing his neck and holding him to the ground.

The other three forced Tony's head to the table, and Clint could tell that with the way Tony's eyes were narrowed, that he was annoyed.

Clint was surprisingly even more annoyed than Tony when he started speaking in the same Hispanic language- maybe it was Spanish, Natasha was the language one…

The men released Tony, and Tony glared, the one holding Clint released him and they walked out, one keeping around long enough to spit a large glob of goo onto the ground.

"…Since when did you speak another language?" Clint muttered, slightly disgruntled while Tony's lips twitched ever so slightly.

"Portuguese. That was Portuguese, and I am very proud to inform you I speak Russian, Hindi, Spanish, Portuguese, French, German and another language called Kurghiz." Tony responded, smirking at Clint who snorted, looking away.

"Really? You expect me to-"

"Cerveau de poulet." Tony responded without delay, causing Clint to stare while Tony smirked at he assumed French insult.


"Clint- that is a fencing term. That practically isn't even French." Tony scoffed, lifting one eyebrow to Clint who pursed his lips, thinking.


Tony smirked, rotating around in his seat, somehow looking unimpressed despite the small ink stain just above his left eyebrow.

"Je sais plus que vous ne le pensez." Tony returned with such a grin it made Clint know he had been insulted in some way.

"Fine, French Boy. The other languages would be useful, but what the hell is Kurghiz?"

Tony's smile faltered ever so slightly, the happy mocking mood in the cell (As they now called it) darkened critically, and Tony turned back, speaking in a happy tone that Clint could tell was strained.

"Oh- you know. Met a guy, wanted to be able to speak with him in his real language." Tony shrugged, back to tense, and Clint knew he should really back away by now.

He wanted to slap himself when he pressed further- maybe hanging around Natasha broke all of his self preservation.

"What happened to him?"

"…He died…"

The rest of the night had a strained silence.


The men conversed again with Tony, the later throwing back what Clint could assume were witty comments or insults due to the drawl and slight mocking tone.

The men snickered and after something Tony stated, they mentioned something about a "Senor Hammer."

Clint didn't know any Mr. Hammers, yet again, it could have been a Miss or Mrs. Hammer…his Spanish was never the best…wait- but this was Portuguese…damn.

It seemed Tony knew this man…girl…lady….thing, because his eyes darkened, and he shot something out with a cold and unTony laugh, that made Clint compare an interrogating Natasha with the Mr. Stark.

He spat something and one of the men nailed him with the butt of his gun, causing Tony to stumble backwards, clutching his mouth where Clint saw blood drip through his fingers, and something that suspiciously looked like a tooth fall out.

Clint grabbed Tony, holding him at bay- while Tony thrashed and screamed something out between bloody spit takes as he screamed at the men, who took the computer out of the room.

Clint wasn't exactly sure what he was shouting, but it sounded rather creepy and dark the way he screeched it like a banshee, repeating the words "Nos vamos matar voce!" Over and over.

Come to think of it- some mission in Brazil had signs with the word 'matar' plastered over them.

Come to think of it- Clint really didn't want to know.


It was maybe a few hours after they had their last visit and the computer with the AI codes had been taken.

Tony had gotten to the point where he left his mouth open and breathed through his nose for the blood to congeal around the hole where his left canine normally went- now set securely in his front left pocket.

(Clint guessed that he'd have it planted back in. And if he couldn't plant that, he might use a metal to fuse it or something, It was Tony.)

Their mood was dim and Tony was facing a wall, Clint had a persisting thick lump in his throat- knowing full well that Tony had just written the codes for a fully functional AI for this Hammer guy.

It was silent until a loud explosion and shouting in accents was heard, Clint immediately snapped his head to Tony, who said nothing and looked away, a small look of regret as he bit his lower lip.


"…Yeah Stark?" Clint asked rarely, very few times did Tony ever call him his real name, normally proffering to talk about birds, feathers, or some insult to his eyes.

"Sorry about this- Bird Brain."

Ahh, there it was.

"Sorry? About what?" Clint asked, mildly startled by the sudden proclamation before something vibrated, powerful shakes causing the desk near him to buckle and collapse, nearly squashing him and causing him to utter an unmanly squawk as he lunged out of the way.

"Hah! Knew you were part chicken!" Tony snickered, referring to the sound that Clint had made in his surprise, before the lights went out and more shouting was heard.

"Shut up Stark!"

"Gibt es jemand in der Nahe?" Tony responded, speaking in a thick accent that had Clint choking in surprise.

"Stark! No fair! You can't start speaking all European on me!"

"Shut up Cl-" Before Tony could finish his hissed reply, a loud annoying factory sounding buzzer was heard and the red light above the door lit up before unlatching.

Clint stared, while Tony easily got to his feet, walking to the door and swinging it open- looking back at Clint with lifted eyebrows.

"You coming?" He asked, slightly exasperated with the surprise Clint kept showing, and Clint scrambled to get to his feet, staring at the door while his spy training kicked in.

"How is this possible? This is likely a trap, Stark."

"Sure, a trap that was constructed by me to open a door and lock everybody else out in a large power wide blackout. Beware, vulcher-breath, it may contain our escape." Tony spoke dryly, causing Clint to stare while Tony groaned in annoyance, storming out with Clint following closely, eyes noticing the doors which were- in fact- locked.

"How did you do this?" Clint asked breathlessly, glancing around while Tony showed a wolfish smirk as he looked at his handiwork.

"Like it? These idiots are the lackeys to Hammer- he always did hire the idiots. They plugged the AI in without scanning it or looking at my coding before- not that they'd see anything. Bunch of apes." Tony sniffed, taking a sharp left with Clint blinking in surprise.

"The hell? You have complete control of the base?"

"Yup- now shut up. Gibt es jemand in der Nahe?" Tony fired off, swapping back to an awkward German that causing Clint stare at him, shaking his head in disbelief.

The buzzer sounded again, a red light on their left flashing and causing Clint to jump.

"The hell?" Clint hissed, hand moving to his waste where he normally had a gun, cursing when it wasn't there.

"Cool your feathers- it's the AI. I programmed it to help us, one beep for no, two beeps for yes. The base didn't have any speakers, but there are security cameras. It lip reads us and answers our questions, basic commands and the such." Tony shrugged, continuing down the hallway and frowning at the two locked doors.

"Wait- what did you ask it?" Clint asked in alarm, Tony rolled his eyes.

"I asked if there was anyone out here. It said no. Now I'm going to ask it where the Itsy Bitsy Spider and our Capsicle are." Tony stated slowly, acting as if Clint wasn't able to understand what he meant.

Smirking at Clint's scowl, he looked at the doors before speaking in the language again

"Wo sind Natasha Romanoff und Steve Rodgers?" Tony asked, Clint's face lighting up as he recognized the German for what Tony actually said.

Another buzzer and the door on his left lit up, as well as the fourth door on the red with a pulsing light, Tony following quickly after the buzzing.

Clint rushed past, swinging the door open, ducking to avoid the punch he almost knew Steve would throw in the pitch darkness of the power outage.

"Cap! We're saving your frozen butt and it would help if you stop trying to knock us out!" Tony yelped, dodging a punch and gasping as he was suddenly on the ground, a knee pressed into his throat while blood red hair formed a curtain around his and Natasha's head.

"Well Natashalie- if you wanted me that ba-"

"Stop talking. We should move before the guards come back." Natasha spoke, leaping out and staring at Clint a few moments- their way of greeting each other after two weeks of near solitary confinement.

"So…err- should we go?" Steve trailed off, and Tony gave a snort, leaning against the wall.

"I've got this covered. Natasha- ask it the way." Tony smirked, amused by her slightly confused face.

"Where is the way out?" She responded, fully not expecting it to work, giving Tony a pointed look when it didn't.

Tony scowled, looking up at the ceiling and talking himself. "Выход?" He asked, a light at the end of the hallway lighting up.

"Shit- you actually do know Russian." Clint swore, running his hand through his hair in frustration as Natasha stared, eyes widening slightly.

"Вы не знаете моего языка, она была бы в ярости, файлы" She shot off with a thick accent that caused Tony to frown and recoil while frowning.

"…What did she say?" Steve whispered to Tony, and Tony frowned, rolling his eyes.

"She said that I don't speak Russian, and it wasn't in Fury's files. Which I might say- I do know Russian and Fury can mind his own business. The AI understands commands in Russian-"

"And German." Clint pointed out, Tony wincing as he noticed Steve stiffen slightly.

"…German?" He asked, voice clipped and Tony shrugged, looking away while Natasha seemed to understand with a small jerk of her head, turning to follow the pulsing light.

Steve started to follow, and Clint fell back to walk with Tony, frowning with what just happened.


"Steve fought Nazi's Clint." Tony sighed, and Clint blinked a few times before recognition hit him and they fell into a quiet silence.

They walked- eventually turning into a slow run when the AI gave a slightly warning beep while a man stumbled around the corner with a flashlight and a gun- Natasha took him down quickly, and she jumped off in surprise while Tony walked forward, rolling the guy onto his back while he looked up and down at him.

Tony unclipped the gun from the man's grasp and looked it over with a frown before tossing it to Clint.

"FN F2000 Belgium assault rifle. That'll last you a few rounds to take down a few men and get us past a few doors the AI can't. That's Hammer Tech- I'm going to kill that man." Tony cursed, opening the man's coat and drawing two pistols, tossing them to Natasha who nodded approvingly at his weapon knowledge.

They continued on- Tony taking a small break to find Steve's shield and Clint's bow, setting his suitcase suit on self destruct so he could detonate it from the U.S.

Natasha kicked open the door, pointing the guns at the door as it swung open, the group blinking at the sudden sunlight that shone upon them, causing them to give an involuntary smile from the withdrawal of Vitamin D.

"Where are we?" Steve asked, once gaining control and glancing around at their surroundings…

A giant boat. A replica of a hellicarrier on a much cheaper budget and missing the whole flying ability.

"Well- somewhere along South America, but it could be in the middle of the ocean." Tony sighed, turning back inside the building with the other three sadly following.

After a few dozen dead people on the ground Tony stood inside the control room, the AI lighting it up and directing power to it.

"Just find our location, Stark." Natasha sighed, and Tony frowned, eyes narrowing as files flipped past the screens, each being sent to Jarvis or deleted from the mainframe.

"…AI- contact Justin Hammer." Tony ordered, and Natasha spun, eyes narrowing and Clint looking at him in surprise.

"The hell? Stark- what are you doing?" Clint demanded, and Tony said nothing, glaring at the screen as a video link popped up.

"Hello- oh…Stark…"

Indeed it was Justin Hammer, maybe in the Bahamas by the ocean blue water and the tropical drink and shades on his face.

"2 weeks. You held us captive for two weeks, Hammer."

"And you built me an AI. Not so smart now, Stark."

"I hacked into your mainframe, causing my AI to take control of your entire base of operations Hammer. Next time you want to keep me captive, don't hire idiots." Tony stated calmly, and he faintly heard Clint whisper 'Passive aggressive!'

"…And there you ar-"

"Having a Quinjet pick us up in three minutes. If you ever mess with us again, Hammer, I'll make sure a coffin will hold you- but we don't have to do that now, do we?" Tony growled, ignoring the exchanged wary glances from his fellow Avengers.

"Try it and your little secretary gets i-"

"Uberschreiben der Laptop." Tony growled, Justin on the other side letting out an unmanly shriek as he turned- phone giving a slight view of a smoking and combusting laptop- screen flickering before going black.

"Stark! What did you d-"

"One button and I can destroy your entire stock inventory, all business partners, mysteriously make you lose all money, and sell your homes to charity. What will it be, Hammer?" Tony asked, still deathly calm which made the ones behind him more wary- Steve resisting the urge to back out of the room.

Hammer stared before ending the call, Tony turning to look at the rest of his Avengers before throwing a lopsided grin and waltzing out.

"Now- we can go home."

Hope you liked it.