A/N: I saw a quote from Greg and had to write this.
Inspired by him saying: "One reason for Artemis' extreme reaction to the knowledge, I think, is that she was trying SO hard to think that Superboy was a possibility BECAUSE Wally clearly seemed NOT to be, and so she wanted to have something she could use to push Wally out of her mind."
(About the episode "Secrets".) Set probably that night, but a time isn't necessary for the read. All you need to know is that she knows about MM&SB now.

Disclaimer: Um. No.


Who am I kidding? Conner? Not even in my league.

Hey, maybe I'm better crashing and burning with him than just not taking the risk. Or asking Wally out.

Just the thought gives me the heebie-jeebies. Because he's so confident and crazy and knows how to get what he wants. He's got that not-so-smooth attitude and the mouth to match. He eats too much, doesn't stop talking. When he talks too fast, you can't understand.

Conner's safer. Conner isn't a moron. Conner isn't loud and obnoxious. Being hurt by Conner... wouldn't hurt. Maybe that's why I gravitated towards him, in my sick attempt to avoid further pain.

(Oh hey, go join a teen hero group, fight people who want to kill you every night; don't worry, it won't hurt. Much.)

Still, boys are the least of my problems right now. Yet the night out with Zatanna felt... good? She got my mind off of Conner and definitely distracted me from ranting about how bad Wally looked as a brunette (he should just stay that soulless ginger forever, honestly), and instead she put me on the fast track to a good night. A few more cuts and bruises, but who am I to complain?

But now I have to cope with it. I'm not sad. I'm just not happy. I asked him out once; gently got shot down, but it didn't hurt for long. I'm a big girl, I've learned to take my beatings.

I'll just talk it out with myself. My own self-inflicted therapy.

Topic: Boy Problems.

There are three guys in my life- one of them is a friend, one of them I liked, and one of them I hate. Respectively, Robin, Conner, and Kid Moron (Wally, just in case no one else got that).

Robin- I'm cool with him. He's like a little brother. I don't have any problems with him except when he mysteriously vanishes.

Okay, in retrospect, why's he even in this therapy session? I don't need to talk about him.

Conner- He's a great guy. Tall, dark, and handsome, the whole nine yards. His eyes are probably his greatest feature that aren't his incredible abs. Otherwise, he's a hothead with aggression issues who suddenly has a girlfriend who doesn't even belong with him.

That's my green-eyed monster talking. Ignore it. (And FYI, I don't mean Wally.)

I like Conner because Conner is... doable. And I don't mean like sex or anything, not that kind of "do". I just mean that I think I could stand to date him. He's nice. He's honest. And he can hold his own in a fight. Okay? Okay.

More retrospect: Conner really has no redeeming qualities for me to like.

Okay, maybe I just wanted a sexy guy on my arm. And maybe not to be alone? Maybe I knew I could suffer rejection from him better than I could from Wally? (Not talking about Wally, talking about Conner, shut up, Artemis.) Because Conner could be a model and be forever beautiful. There's always that stretch kind of crush, like a celebrity or something. Not even a celebrity. That local jock kid- every school has one. That's Conner. I think that the jock is doable for the pitiful girl from the bad side of town. Still, I'm low enough on the social scale to suffer my rejection from someone so high up in the societal hierarchy. It wouldn't hurt so much.

I'll take my beatings.

Wally- Obnoxious, annoying, loud, obnoxious, ginger, freckles, obnoxious, cocky, snide, obnoxious. Oh, and have I mentioned obnoxious?

Wally and I are kind of on the same level. We both have a lot of attitude and know how to hold our own as well as pick the good fights.

And I never ever want to be near him. Ever. Honestly. I always feel the need to strangle him! I just want to rip his fluffy red head off of his puny runner's body... Wally, in a nutshell, is probably the best and worse thing that has ever happened to me.

He made me look to Conner because our first meeting went poorly and it was downhill from there. Conner had a much, much better first impression of me than what Wally saw. Wally saw a replacement, Conner saw a friend. (I should stop talking about Conner. "Should" being the operative word there.)

With Wally, I always... look down on him. In some way, I see that he's weaker than me, needs help, can't do things on his own. Conner and I are the exact opposite. Probably why he doesn't need me. Hilariously enough, Wally does need me. Somebody, anybody, doesn't have to be me, I'm sure even Robin could take care of him for all I know. (Oh look, Robin does come up in this therapy session. Relevant!) And maybe suffering his rejection would... would make me feel like less than him. And with my already low self-esteem, I'm not sure I could handle that. Because where would that put me on this social ladder? Under the science geek? Robin at least looks like a badass, Wally's just a nerd. (More Robin, look at that!)

So I'm really just coping with the fact that I couldn't suffer Wally's rejection if I had asked him out. I'm glad I didn't because I'm still finding out more and more every day how incredibly annoying he is, but still, he was an option.

But I used Conner to drown out any thought of Kid Stupid. Conner was my fall guy. Kind of.

So Wally was an option? Because he walked in first day and started yelling. A lot. But I never hated him, exactly. In the Tower of Fate he was pretty annoying and nearly got us all killed, but it's not that bad, I guess. So maybe I could've dated him. Once upon a time.

So he's an option for me, but does that make me an option for him? Or is he still so infatuated with Miss M that- Wait, could she be his fall guy?

Alright, now I'm not even coping with the Conner issue. It's just me and my problems with Wally; then again, the Conner issue derives from my problems with Wally, so... I'm coping with both. Yeah. Yeah, that's what's going on.

Alright, so I have every opportunity to be in love with Wally. Wait, pause, rewind: love?

Oh. God.

No more. Not today. I need to file all of these new revelations in my mental office. This isn't fun right now. No more. Not right now.

Summary of self-induced therapy: I may or may not be in love with Wally West. And I never really liked Conner for anything more than his shirtlessness. Great session. I should stop this. What if I actually start talking to myself on a regular basis. God, that'd be weird...

A/N: I have no idea why this turned out as sassy as it did, but I kind of like how it turned out humorous despite being so… aggressive-borderline-depressing. Anyways, leaving a review would be great, thanks for reading.