Chapter 3: America Can Be a Bully
In 1889, America (by now, he gained his independence from Britain) came to Puerto Rico. After the Treaty of France was ratified, Puerto Rico came under the control of America's military. America made a lot of changes to her, replacing her currency of pesos with U.S. dollars and forcing her to change her name to Porto Rico. Poor girl… This is worse than an arranged marriage…
"Why do you have to be so mean?" She started crying, thinking of Spain. She thought about how France and England tried to use her for her land and how compared to America, their attempts were nothing.
"Well I'm the hero!" America shouted. "Besides, Porto Rico is easier to spell!"
"Don't talk to me like you know me you puta!"
"Just relax already. You're under my control now, so let's get along!" He tried to shake her hand but instead she kicked him in the balls.
"I hate you!" She shouted, running back to her hut where she planned on hiding until America went away.
"What's her problem? I'm just trying to make things better for her…" America stopped to think. "I know, I'll get the U.S. Postal Service involved. Then I'll bring her some schools and pass some new working laws! That's such a great idea!"
America started public schools in Porto Rico (as he called it). He passed 8-hour laws for employes on the island and gave her freedom of press, speech, religion and assembly. I guess it wasn't all that bad. In addition, he also repaired the roads and extended the high way and gave the people a public health service. However America banned cockfighting and abolished the government lottery.
"I still hate you… Iditota Americana!" She cried.
"Well the people seem pretty happy with the new changes. With a health system people can get healthier and recover from illness. Besides, the economy seems to be improving." America said.
"Well the children seem happier now that they can spend time with their friends and learn new things at school…" Puerto Rico had to look on the bright side. "I guess you do have a point about tat health care thing… I still think you're a puta and a big bully though…"
Disaster struck for our cute little latina in Auguest of 1899 when the storms that ravaged the area caused floods and famine. 3,400 were killed for multiple reasons and many were left without food, shelter or money. Puerto Rico made a lot of money off of coffee and sugar plantations and since those were destroyed, she was left broke to deal with the chaos…
"Ai caramba… What am I going to do?" She asked, trying to gather the children in one place. "All of America's hard work went to waste, everything's ruined now…" She sighed, handing out drinking water and snacks.
"Hey Porto, you okay?" America appeared, looking at what was left of the town.
"Idiota, my land is in shambles and everyone's poor!" She shouted.
"Don't worry Porto, we're still a team, right?" He asked.
"Si… No soy estúpido, sin embargo, voy a conseguir mi libertad de nuevo ..." She uttered, thinking about how she could get back at America. Luckily he didn't know much Spanish…
Because things went sour for her, military power in Porto Rico (she has this name until 1932 when she changes it back to the name Spain gives her, just incase you were wondering…) was short lived. In 1900 the Foraker act (a.k.a. the Organic Act of 1900) enacted a civil government and commerce for both the island and the United States. America improved his relationship with "Porto" a lot in the 20th century, allowing Puerto Ricans to be apart of the legistature. He improved her educational system combining English and Spanish classes because both languages were used on the island. Aw… America is starting to like her…
"I wonder… America's been really nice to me lately… He even got me some new clothes and a years worth of rice!" Porto Rico thought, walking through her town, now repaired and in better shape. "Hey Americana!"
"Oh, hey Porto!" He ran to her. "So, are things going well?"
"Si, all the children are really happy again. Thanks for helping me. Even the grown-ups enjoy their new freedoms and rights." She said. "If you'd like, I'll make aros con poyo for dinner."
"Allright, chicken and rice!" America shouted, fallowing her home. "I really appreciate you cooking Porto. Aside from the heat, the agriculture and all the boats at the port, this really is a nice place we have."
"Eh?" She asked, boiling the water for the rice. "We? Estamos casados o algo así? "
"Well…" America tried to think of what she was saying, having learned some Spanish. "We have been together for a while now, I guess I wouldn't mind getting married one day…"
"Usted intendie Espanol?" She shouted in shock that he understood. She sighed, not wanting to bother. "Ai caramba…"
Porto Rico ran into trouble again when Federico Degetau took office in 1901 and passed a law that only allowed any one person to own 500 acres of land.. The Foraker act was the framework for this law and most of the other laws created in this period, that includes the economy changing into a mono-cultured sugar based economy. America took advantage of the sugar on the island and using them on Wall Street and as a result, the farmers on the island started going bankrupt and had to resort to selling their stocks to the powerful American sugar companies.
"That's it, America's causing trouble again and the children are getting sad… Not to mention that the farmers are angry. How the hell are they gonna make money when America's hogging all the sugar for himself?!" She shouted. "I'm going to go yell at him right now!"
"Oh, hey Porto. Guess what, I got a bunch of new stocks and the sugar market's going really great at my place." America showed up in a new suit. "I brought some snacks from my-." The box of cookies were slapped out of his hand.
"Listen here you puta, you better do something to make everyone happy again!" She ranted. "Everyone's been going broke since you came here!"
As you can see… Almost as soon as America did something to help "Porto" and make her happy, he would screw up and make her angry… What a complicated relationship…
Oh Puerto Rico… With all these guys after you, you really are like my grandmother… With crazy men chasing after her affection! Spain, France, England and America? Well whoever you marry be careful Porto! Please rate and review! For Mexico's fans, I'll be making a fanfic for his character too entitled It's Me, Mexico! Very soon. Do stay tuned.
No soyestúpido, sin embargo, voy aconseguir milibertadde nuevo ... – I'm not stupid, one day I'll have my freedom again
estamos casados o algo así? – the exact Spanish to English translation would be something like "Are were married or something like that?" but simply, it means "Are we married, or something?"
Usted intiende Espanol? – You understand/speak Spanish?
Puta – Whore. Spain calls Austria this somewhere in the World Series. Here's the quote:
"I finally have an underling, I finally have an underling. Wow, all this time I thought Austria was a puta but he's actually a pretty nice guy!"
So Spain was reffering to Austria as a whore too… Wonder if the people who wrote the script know that…