Kurt held Tala close as he spooned his wife from behind, reaching around to lightly caress her swollen abdomen. He sighed in contentment, rubbing light circles over where their baby resided.

He glanced back at the clock and saw that it was two in the morning. He sighed, knowing he should be asleep, but he just couldn't get his mind to shut down tonight for some reason. He pressed his face forward into Tala's black flowing locks and breathed in her scent before resting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. He allowed his mind to drift and relive the happy memories of their relationship, hoping they would help him drift off.


Up until his junior year of college, Kurt had been positive that he was one hundred percent gay. He was a fairly flamboyant guy who loved fashion, theater... and of course... other guys. He dated a few guys here and there. Nothing serious, but he was young and had plenty of time for that. Kurt was quite handsome and several girls who had a serious lack of gaydar had hit on him over the years, with no success.

That's when he met Tala. They were both attending a frat party and there she was. Long, luscious locks, soft olive skin and exotic looking eyes that were almost black in color. She was tiny and petite, barely five feet in height, making Kurt's five feet and eleven inches seem incredibly tall for once in his life. She was soft-spoken and kind, yet full of a vibrance that seemed to make her glow. About ten different guys were trying to hit on her but she rolled her eyes and shrugged each of them off. Kurt laughed to himself at the frat boys' expense from across the room. He leaned back against a wall with his arms crossed to watch the show.

She looked up with those black eyes and she met a pair of electric blue. They smiled at each other. She slipped away from her groupies and went to sidle up to him.

"Would you like to get out of here?" She asked him shyly.

"Absolutely," he offered his arm and they had left together.

They spent the whole night talking and for the next weeks they were inseparable. His sexuality was never an issue. Never a real topic of conversation. They joked privately that he was 'Tala-sexual'. When asked by people if he had 'flipped' or if she was his 'beard' they just rolled their eyes. Neither could explain it. Neither even cared to try. They loved anything and everything about each other. They were soul-mates. When asked ridiculous questions about how their relationship worked they would sigh, look into each others eyes and kiss tenderly. They would turn in silence to their criticizer as if to say, "Do you really need any more proof?" Nine times out of ten that would shut the person up. The tenth person they just ignored.

He proposed six months after they met. She said yes. They hopped on a plane and were married that summer in Hawaii. Tala's family was quite well off and payed for both their own family and Kurt's to travel together. They had a small, family-only ceremony on the beach. Kurt and Tala stood in the sunset, both wearing white, surrounded by their loving family as they committed themselves to each other.

That fall they moved into a modest apartment in Manhattan. It was far more than they could afford on their own, but again, Tala's family was insistent on helping out. They had an amazing relationship with their daughter and loved Kurt as their own. They saw, without a doubt, how much he loved their little girl. They told the young couple that they had been blessed with more money than they knew what to do with and it was their duty to take care of their children, grown up or not. The couple compromised by choosing a place that needed some work. Kurt and Tala were actually excited about the prospect since they were both interior design majors.

Kurt knew that it bothered his father a little that he wasn't able to help as much in that way. Burt and Carole loved their kids dearly and showed their support in a million little ways, every day. They would defend the young couple's relationship to the death. Carole would constantly send little care packages filled with homemade goodies and homey items for the apartment. Burt helped Kurt refinish their wood floors and retile the kitchen and bathroom. He helped Tala paint the walls and put up the window treatments she had sewn. Kurt and Tala were well aware of Burt's sensitivity in this matter and both made sure to reassure him of how much his and Carole's support meant to them. It wasn't unusual for Tala to plop her tiny frame down on Burt's lap, place a kiss on his cheek and say, "Love you, dad." Burt would blush a little at the attention and Kurt would fall even more deeply in love with his wife.

They graduated a year later with their degrees and started their own interior decorating business together. They slowly worked on the side to get their Master's degrees. It was slow going for the first few months but after hard work, long hours and constant campaigning, things took off. They were hired for more and more jobs and became the 'it' team to hire in Manhattan. By the time they were only twenty-four they were on their way.

That's when the really good news came.

Kurt came home after a long day at the office bearing chicken noodle soup. Tala had been sick and throwing up for the last two days and he was starting to get concerned. If she wasn't better by tonight he was going to insist that she go to the doctor. He walked through the front door carrying the take-out and was shocked to find her out of bed, in her robe, standing in front of him with a dazzling smile. She still looked pale but was happily holding a small gift bag in front of her. He looked at her curiously but she just jumped up and down excitedly and thrust the bag into his hands. He took it carefully and peeked inside. He pulled out a small white stick with a pink plus sign on the end. His mouth dropped open and he looked back up to affirm what he guessed. She bit her lip and nodded excitedly.

"Tala! Oh my god, we're going to be parents! I love you! I love you! I love you!" He scooped her up, bridal style and swung her in circles around the room until they were almost tipping over in dizziness and laughing hysterically. The moment he set her down though, her grin quickly faded and her face turned green. She darted off to the bathroom to throw up and he guiltily followed after her, holding back her hair and patting her back. He helped her clean up and tucked her into bed for some much needed rest. He lay down next to her, rubbing her back and running fingers through her hair until she was asleep. All of a sudden her realized that he was still clutching something in his hand. It was the pregnancy test. He grinned to himself. Never before did he think that he would be so happy holding something covered in someone else's pee.

The next months were filled with morning sickness, cravings and late night talks of names and the future. They spent long hours shopping for and decorating the nursery until it was perfect. They lovingly referred to it as the 'baby suite' by the time it was done. No child had ever been in possession of such a room while still in utero.

They were one month out. One more month until everything changed.


Kurt sighed and scooted gently out of bed, careful to not wake his wife. Sleep was just not happening tonight. He curled up on the couch and flipped through the channels, finally settling on "The Lord of the Rings." He looked up a moment later to see Tala waddling out slowly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Oh, honey! I'm so sorry! Did I wake you?" He rose quickly and went to meet her. He pulled her in for a hug, at least as best he could with the large swelling in between them and kissed her forehead. She sighed and leaned into him.

"The bed is always cold without you," she sighed sleepily. Kurt felt terrible.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Come on. Let's tuck you back in. I'll stay in bed." She craned her neck back to look up at her husband who was nearly a foot taller than her and cupped his cheek with a grin.

"It's okay. You don't have to do that. We'll cuddle on the couch for a bit." She looked down then at the enormous baby bump separating them and giggled. "Oh, sinta! Look at me! I'm huge!" Kurt looked down and rubbed both hands over her stretched skin lovingly.

"You're perfect," he whispered, pressing a kiss into her hair. He took her hand and pulled her to the couch. They settled together in the middle. Kurt lifted her legs so that her feet were propped up on his lap and scooted pillows behind her back to make her more comfortable. He placed both hands on her abdomen, ready and waiting to feel the baby move. He placed his face down by his hands.

"Hey jellybean," he whispered. Tala laughed softly.

"You call it that so much. I think that jellybean will still be the baby's nickname even after we find out if it's a girl or a boy." He sat up and placed a kiss on her lips along with a little eskimo kiss before placing his cheek back down against the baby. She leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Kurt?" She whispered.

"Yes, darling."

"Sing me and jellybean our song, please?"

He smiled and thought for a moment before taking a breath.

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I couldn't love you any better
I love you just the way you are

He looked up when he heard a light sniffing.

"Oh, Tala! My love! What's the matter?" He brushed away the tears, overwhelmed but her sudden overflow of emotion.

"Nothing!" She hiccuped with a teary giggle. "I'm just so blessed! You love us both so much!"

"I really do." They smiled at each other for a moment before kissing gently and snuggling together to watch what was left of the movie.

"Damn," she sighed. "Orlando Bloom is so dang hot as Legolas."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. "He sure is."

Tala giggled. "Oh, Kurt! Let's make a game of it and both fantasize about him the next time we have sex!" Kurt's shoulders shook in silent laughter.

"I love you, Tala."

"I love you too, sinta."


Kurt didn't know when they had drifted off but he woke at about five in the morning to Tala moaning in her sleep. She was thrashing and writhing as if in severe pain. His heart raced as he frantically shook her awake.

"Tala! Baby! What's wrong? Are you in labor?" She lifted her lids slowly and the pain he saw reflected in her black eyes felt like a knife in his heart. Without a second thought he dove from the couch to throw on some shoes and shove his wallet in his pocket. He scooped her off the couch, hurrying as fast as he could. When he got to the doorway he fumbled with the doorknob, trying to balance his wife carefully. For a moment, he couldn't figure out why his hand was so slick. He looked closely and saw that it was covered in a sticky liquid. His breath left him as reality punched him in the gut. His hand, his arm, his shirt, all of Tala's legs... they were covered in blood.


"Somebody help me, please!" Kurt ran through the emergency room doors clutching Tala in his arms. She had stopped writhing in pain almost five minutes ago as he raced through the streets in the early morning, driving three times the speed limit. Now she was almost completely limp in his arms and absolute terror threatened to overwhelm him.

A doctor quickly took in her swollen abdomen, the blood, and Kurt's panic before snatching her into his own arms and placing her on a gurney. He raced down the hall with Kurt at his side. The doctor asked a few perfunctory questions before rushing into the O.R. and leaving Kurt alone to finally let the terror take hold. He sank to the floor as his world crashed in on him.


At some point a nurse had led him to a family waiting room. Apparently he had called the family because Tala's parents were close by, pacing back and forth, and he was receiving constant texts from his dad and Finn. He tried to read them but for some reason he couldn't understand the words. He looked down at the blood drying on his arms and clothes. He held his hands out in front of him and watched them shake uncontrollably. He swallowed and wrung his trembling hands together. The doors opened suddenly and Kurt stood as the doctor approached him. The physician's expression was unreadable. Kurt both loved and hated him for it. He was desperate for good news... he was desperate for ONLY good news. The doctor led him back to a chair and sat him down. Tala's parents rushed over and crouched by his side, gripping his hand. Kurt tried to speak but when he opened his mouth nothing came out. The doctor offered a smile but it didn't seem to reach his eyes.

"Your daughter was born at 5:45. She is currently in the NICU. She is a little early and her lungs are slightly underdeveloped, but we are giving her some oxygen and I have every reason to believe that she will be just fine and healthy. Things are looking very good for her."

Kurt closed his eyes and a small tear squeezed out and ran down his cheek.

A girl. She's okay. My jellybean.

He opened his eyes again and looked at the doctor steadily.

"Tala," his voice was ragged and barely audible.

The doctor swallowed hard before speaking and that's when the world stopped making sense. The physician gave what seemed like a ridiculously long explanation. Kurt managed to catch a couple of phrases such as 'placental abruption', 'caught it sooner' and 'so sorry'. After that the room was silent. People around him moved and talked. They talked to him. They talked to each other. Tala's mom fell to the floor in broken sobs and her husband clutched her to him. Kurt couldn't hear her cries. He could see what was happening around him but he couldn't respond. It was like the world was still moving and he was paralyzed, unable to keep up. The doctor placed a hand on Kurt's arm and the young man was irrationally angry at the tears in the doctor's eyes. Suddenly time sped up and sound rushed back into his ears. The heart wrenching sobs of Tala's mother filled the air. He started trembling again and jumped to his feet, looking around frantically.

"No." His spoke the word in a harsh whisper. He shook his head slowly and backed away from everyone, silently begging them to tell him this was just a cruel joke. When all they did was stare back in grief and pity he broke.

"NOOOOO!" He screamed in a broken sob. The walls were closing in. His heart had been cut out. There was no reason to go on. He couldn't do this. Life was over. Just as he fell to his knees a tall figure rushed through the doors.

Finn took in the sight of his brother, covered in blood, sinking to the floor. He heard the wail of grief escape his lips. He dove to his knees and pulled Kurt into his arms. Kurt tensed for a moment before collapsing completely, sobbing, sure that he would never stop.

"It's gonna be okay," Finn whispered. "I've got you, bro. It's gonna be okay."


An hour later Kurt had been cleaned and changed into spare hospital scrubs. He didn't remember how he got that way. He thought Tala's mom might have supervised it. He couldn't even begin to consider being embarrassed. He was barely placing one foot in front of another. He wanted to go home and die. Why were they forcing him to keep on functioning?

A nurse was gently holding his hand and pulling him into a private room in the NICU. She steered him toward a rocking chair and sat him down. She then reached into the Isolette to carefully scoop up a tiny bundle. She turned slowly, nodding for Kurt to open his arms. He obeyed mechanically and before he knew it, his arms were filled with a tiny figure.

"She's five pounds, three ounces. Not bad at all. That little tube in her nose is giving her some oxygen but it's really just a precautionary measure. She should be breathing completely on her own very soon."

The nurse had crouched down in front of Kurt and her hands were placed gently on his knees. She noted his red swollen eyes. She took in his dazed look and robotic movements. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to scream at the unfairness of life and tell him how sorry she was. She wanted to. She couldn't. That wasn't what he needed. He needed strength. From somewhere. Anywhere.

"You'll be fine. Just hold her and get to know her. I'll be right down the hall."

She stepped outside and immediately collapsed against the wall in the hallway, letting silent tears stream down her face.


Kurt took in the sight of his daughter. The transparent skin. The miniature rosebud lips. Glistening lashes framing the eyes closed in sleep. One delicate finger poking out of the blanket that she was swaddled in, seeming to stroke her own chin. The tiny chest rising and falling, coupled with a soft noise that might have been a sigh.

Ah. This is my reason. This is why I can't give up. She is my reason for living now. My jellybean. My Malaya.


The NICU nurse had finally steeled herself and wiped away her tears when she heard something coming from the small room that both melted and broke her heart. A voice that would have been beautifully melodic if it hadn't been filled with broken sobs.

I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

I said I love you, and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I couldn't love you any better
I love you just the way you are