The Unsaid Words
Disclaimer: I don't own Bloody Monday. I'm not that smart or rich.
Summary: It takes almost losing each other to realise how stupid they have been. past!OtoyaxFujimaru. Post BM2. Slash!
"I have to do it! I have to see Spider!"
He couldn't stand it any more. He couldn't just sit in the background as he listened to Fujimaru refuse to leave the plant. He was sitting safely in Third-i headquarters, and Fujimaru was hacking to entered the core of a time bomb.
"Isn't that right?" Tagai Fujimaru's voice echoed in the near silent room.
'Enough,' Otoya realised, his heart thundering against his rib cage. 'Enough Fujimaru. Hide, Anzai, Aoi. I can't lose you too.'
Otoya bolted from his seat and pushed past the Third-i agents. He reached for the phone before anyone could stop him.
'I must save him!' Otoya swallowed as he picked up the headset, 'Maru!'
"Fujimaru!" was all he could get out. His voice low and near breaking. And yet, over the speakers, Otoya could almost hear him stop. Pause.
'Please! Listen to me!'
"Don't take Spider's bait!" Otoya rushed out. His voice pleading, full of worry and urgency.
"Otoya..." the reply was near heartbreaking. Otoya froze. He knew what was coming but couldn't accept it. The words unsaid, Otoya heard them. Hidden in his name.
They heard the pause. Takagi swallowed before he uttered the words that dropped Otoya's heart like a stone, "I'm leaving Haruka in your care."
"Fujimaru!" Otoya reacted, yelling the name. So many words he just couldn't get out. He couldn't say. He couldn't find the words to the emotions; or the voice to the words.
"Don't go... hey, do you hear me?! Say something, Fujimaru!"
Otoya's voice filled the headset. Takagi Fujimaru slightly surprised to find tears falling, 'Gomen, Haruka... Otoya...'
He walked through the door like nothing had happened. That he hadn't faced down a crazy terrorist that had once been a family friend. Like he hadn't been shot at twice, making everyone think he was as good as dead.
He was shaken and bruised but undoubtedly alive.
And Otoya had never been so grateful in his life. In the last thirty minutes, he had never prayed so much or so hard in his life. But the though of losing Fujimaru...
Takagi Fujimaru took in the sight of Kujo Otoya. The brunette was pale and this body hidden by the too-large jacket someone had drapped over his shoulders. Fujimaru's gaze drifted to the sling that cradled a hurt arm. He swallowed.
"I came back... Like I promised." It was all he could say at the expectant gaze, his lips tugging into a relieved smile.
"Fujimaru..." his name fell from Otoya's lips before the boy started walking towards him. Fujimaru knew that look in his eyes well. The 'devil may care' look Otoya got when he was pissed off and feeling rebellious. Usually some scandalous action, like becoming an engineer and not going into politics.
Kujo stopped right in front of Takagi, his face blank as a sheet of paper. In an instant, he drew back his good hand and punched Fujimaru across the jaw. The hacker stumbled back, wincing at the stab of pain that laced his jaw. The THIRD-i agents stepped forward but paused, unsure of how to handle this situation.
"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will kill you myself," Otoya threatened plainly.
Fujimaru straightened himself as stared wide-eyed in shock at his friend. His best friend; the one he trusted more than anyone else. He had made the mistake of mistrusting him once, and it had costed him dearly. It was an action that he regretted to this day.
And the taller boy found himself engulfed in a one-armed hug, a mop of hair tickled his cheek as Otoya buried his head in crook of Fujimaru's neck.
His heart skipped a beat and he raised his arms to wrap around the shaking frame of Kujo Otoya. Careful of the injured arm, Fujimaru hugged the boy, biting his lip and whispering the word 'gomen' over and over again.
"You should be resting," the voice came from behind him as Fujimaru washed up after dinner.
Tilting his head sideways to steal a glance at the relaxed figure by the door, Fujimaru felt his breath catch. Otoya had raided his closet again. Too-long sweat pants slung low on slim hips and a large t-shirt slipped off one shoulder, teasing Fujimaru with skin that should have been hidden from sight. His brown hair was still wet; the water droplets gleamed in the soft light as they trailed down his pale neck.
"I'm fine," Fujimaru replied, averting his gaze and returned his attention to the dishes. "You should be resting."
"A hot bath does wonders," Otoya replied as he walked closer. "I checked on Haruka. She's in bed already. Today exhausted her. The worry and excitement finally got to her. She also mentioned that she was worried about her friend and what was going to happen to him now."
"Hmmm," Fujimary replied, "THIRD-i mentioned that the kids involved would get off with a warning because no one died. He'll be in counselling you awhile though."
"Souka," Otoya answered. The air seemed to build with tension. Using his good hand, he picked up a plate and moved to put it away.
"Don't." The hacker quickly grabbed his friend's hand gently, stopping his from moving. "You don't have to. You're hurt."
Otoya gave him one of his half-smile. "It's okay. Two of us means it will go faster. It's been a long day." Gently, he pulled his hand from the light grip and moved to the cupboard. He had spent enough time in the Takagi household to know his way around.
Silence descended on the kitchen, interrupted only by the sound of splashes and the clinking of dishware.
"Thank you..." Fujimaru murmured, eyes glued on the soap suds.
Otoya sighed as he leant against the wall behind Fujimaru, one hand running through his hair. He said nothing.
Fujimaru continued. "Third-i. Haruka. Spider. Being here... For everything." He swallowed. And silence descended again.
"I thought I lost you," Otoya said quietly, his voice shaking with fear. Fujimaru froze. "I thought I would never see you again, not alive. And the last conversation we had... I didn't mean it. Aoi died even with THIRD-i trying to help. I was just so angry. It seemed like everyone I care for, I loved was dying around me."
"Otoya," Fujimaru cut in, "it is my fault. I should have found a way to save her. I didn't want to. I don't want to lose anyone else, not like Hide. Not like Anzai."
"That's not it!" Kujo cut in, stepping forward and anger prominent in his voice. "I was scared and angry. yes, Aoi died. But Aoi died under THIRD-i's care. They let her die. What's to stop them from letting you die because it would save others? And you just don't seem to care about you're own safety! What would Haruka do if you had died? Did it even cross your mind how much it would destroy her? Or me?!"
And the words stuck in his throat. Otoya could not let those three words slip past his lips. The little voice at the back of his mind kept whispering 'he's left before and he will leave you again. Why are you opening yourself up to get hurt again? Did you not learn with your family; with him?'
Fujimaru slowly dried his hands on a towel before turning his complete attention to the other boy. He was met the sight of a truly pissed off Otoya. Sighing, he leant back against the counter.
"It wasn't like that..."
"I had to stop Spider."
"I had to protect everyone... even if something happened to me... at least you and Haruka would be safe. Tokyo would be safe."
Otoya sighed, pinched the bridged of his nose and nodded. He had the same thing. He tried to keep everyone safe by meeting Orihara alone. Visibly he calmed down and averted his eyes from the brunette standing across the kitchen from him. The soft sound of footsteps echoed lightly in the room and Kujo raised his head in time to see a pair of arms wrap around him softly.
Warmth engulfed his body as one arm settled on his waist and the other drifted into his hair. His head was nestled in the crook of Fujimaru's neck. It was like old times. A time before Bloody Monday. Before J. Before K. Before death and betrayal had entered their lives.
"I seem to keep hurting you. No matter how hard I try to protect you. To not hurt you anymore, I keep hurting you directly and indirectly... Otoya..."
Kujo Otoya blinked at the tiredness in the voice he heard. The sense of being lost was overwhelming. He had to pull away from the comforting warmth, ignoring the flinch Fujimaru made at the action. But he had to say it now or he would lose his nerve, again.
Fujimaru reluctantly pulled back as well.
"It hurt more when you walked away and didn't tell me anything."
"They threatened you. After Aoi died, Hornet hacked my computer and he asked, 'who will be next?'. There were pictures, or you and Haruka. And then, there were pictures of us; and the words, 'Can you protect him, or will he die too?' I didn't want you to get dragged in."
Otoya gave a start. "Pictures of... us? Where...?"
"Hai," Fujimaru murmured. after a moment he relented, "Spider got through my firewalls and into my hard drive."
'Screw words. They are misleading anyways.'
He gave in; gave into the temptation, the desire. He made a mistake. Otoya was willing to admit that and for two years, he had been trying to live past it. It was useless. They had tried to go back to being just friends. That didn't work. their whole relationship had shifted, evolved. So they tried to distance the other, but their closeness wouldn't allow for it. In the end, they were back to the beginning. The awkwardness of wanting someone who was just a friend.
There was no one else. There never had been anyone else. No matter what he said or implied. And Otoya knew Fuimaru well enough that there was no one else in his life. Fujimaru is antisocial. His world revolves around Haruka. Aoi had tried to take his place in Fujimaru's life but that hadn't worked. Either the boy didn't notice or pretended not to notice to spare her feelings.
"Maru..." Otoya breathed out.
Fujimaru squeezed his eyes shut, as if waiting for the worst.
Otoya gave a short breathy chuckle. Quickly, so not to lose what courage he could muster, he leant in and gave Fujimaru a soft kiss. Their lips met lightly, barely caressing. A kiss that would either make or break them. A friendship; a relationship that either would deepen or break. Otoya closed his eyes as he pulled away. He couldn't see the expression on Fujimaru's face. He didn't want to see what the other boy felt. If closing his eyes would mean he got one more moment where everything was okay, then he would ignore reality for that one moment.
Fujimaru stared wide-eyed at man in front of him and swallowed. A second chance when he didn't believe in second chances anymore. He didn't believe in miracles, but he would take any chance he got. He leaned down and caught Otoya in a gentle kiss.
A kiss that said everything he couldn't.
...I love you...
I never stopped.
There was a strange tension in the air that night when Fujimaru returned from his bath. Otoya was lounging on the single bed in the room. The Takagi master bedroom was still empty, no one wanting to use it. At most, Fujimaru used it to store what was left of his parents things. There was no guest bedroom and it was not the first time Otoya stayed in Fujimaru's room, be it on a futon or in the same bed as his once boyfriend.
Fujimaru entered the room and quietly shut the door behind him. He had checked in on Haruka and found her lost to the dream world. She was a heavy sleeper once she was out. The sight of Otoya reading on his bed did make him pause for half a second before smiling slightly. He moved around his usual nightly routine. Towel drying his hair, he hung the wet towel on the hook behind his door. Grabbing his sleeping shirt, Fujimaru slipped it on before taking a seat at his computer. His usual nightly checks of his multiple web programs, a double check on his firewalls and a quick look at the online trends were all part of his nightly routine.
Otoya put down his book, marking the page and turned slightly on the bed, careful of his injured shoulder. It always seemed amazing to him, the change Fujimaru underwent when he got his hands on a computer. The unsureness, the nervousness, the awkwardness all disappeared. He was Falcon, genius hacker. He could program anything, hack virtually anything. That was partly the reason Otoya believed Takagi Fujimaru purposefully failed his entrance exams. He knew that Fujimaru was brilliant, in his own way. Put him in the IT field and Otoya knew he would be able to teach even the Todai lecturers a thing or two.
"Done already?" Otoya asked, breaking the silence as Fujimaru stretched in front of his computer. Otoya grinned as he watched the taller boy jump. When he was programming he tended to block out everything else. Turning around, Fujimaru gave him a half-smile and nodded. "You too?"
"I don't really understand half of it," Otoya admitted, lifting the book up. The book was on programming in java script. Fujimaru laughed at that, the smile honest and real, for the first time in what seemed like ages. They descended into silence again, neither sure at what to say.
"I guess," Fujimaru started, "we have to talk about it, huh?"
Otoya nodded as he sat up, crossing his legs to get comfortable on the western bed. "We do...First thigs first, I guess. Where so we stand?"
"That's obvious," Fujimaru said bluntly as he picked up a stress ball. Tossing it up and catching it as it came down he continued, "I let you go once, I don't want to lose you again."
Otoya smirked, "Are you confessing to me, Takagi Fujimaru-kun?" Otoya ahd moved out of the way as the stress ball was thrown at his head. He started to laugh.
Fujimaru blushed red and turned back to his computer. Otoya, still chuckling, replied, "Gomen, Gomen, I couldn't resist. Can we go back? Before J messed with both of us?"
Fujimaru stilled, "Can you forgive me for everything that has happened?"
"I already have."
Three words made the weight in his heart seem so much lighter. Fujimaru bit his lower lip as he turned around. He gave Otoya a grateful smile as he let out a relieved albeit breathy laugh.
Otoya smiled, the tension melting away. It seemed like that heart stopping moment was over. All he could do was ask cheekily, "So, are you coming to bed yet?"
Fujimaru shook his head, "Not with that shoulder. I'll take the futon." He got up to do just that.
"Maru, it'll be fine. As long as I don't tear the stitches. Please?"
In truth, Fujimaru probably needed it as much as Otoya. The closeness, the reassurance. He caved and nodded, turning his monitor off before getting on to the bed next to his boyfriend.
He helped Otoya move under the covers before following suit. Slowly, as to not jostle his shoulder, Otoya shifted next to Fujimaru. His head on Fujimaru's shoulder and he carefully placed his arm on Fujimaru's chest. He could feel the other boy's heart beat. The reassuring rhythm.
Fujimaru, in turn, slipped one arm around Otoya's waist and the other hand over the hand on his chest.
And for right then, it was all they really need.
They had tomorrow after all... if Haruka didn't catch them and Fujimaru would have to do some very fast talking considering she never really outgrew he crush on his boyfriend.
I'm not sure if I like this... I seem to have fallen in love with this pairing. But its difficult making it seem real.