And this is the end. :c It's weird, to know I'm finished. Now to wait til season 3 comes on. I hope you've liked my Prequel. I hope it can live up to the amazingness of Falling Skies. I feel as though the personality was a little off with Ben sometimes, but if you watched the difference in his personality between season one and season two, and how he reacted when Rick talked about their 'family' when they were harnessed, I hope you can understand where I got the anger from.
I hadn't lost Jimmy or any of the Masons after the first six months. I was slowly calming down after my killing spree. They understood then. Hal was able to put into words what I couldn't. I was thankful for that.
When we were at a camp overlooking some of the valleys, I liked to wander up the hill more and sit on the edge. It relaxed me to feel that breeze and see something not destroyed by the aliens. It was peaceful and beautiful. Something hard to find in this world.
"Hey," Ben whispered as he came up behind me, "What'cha doing up here? Why are you avoiding me again?"
"I'm having trouble coping."
"About what?" He sat next to me.
He was quiet for a long moment before standing up, suddenly piecing it together, "Me?"
I didn't answer and he pulled me up by my arm.
"It's about me, isn't it? I thought we were through with this?"
"After losing my family, after losing all these others when I try so hard to keep them safe, it just made me think. After all these months that I didn't think. And I couldn't control what I thought about. You came up. It wasn't my fault."
I couldn't meet his gaze. I was afraid to.
"Why now? After all this time? You're seriously still going to use me as a rebound?" He was getting temperamental. I could tell.
"No, that's the funny thing. There's no heartbreak that hasn't already been there. I just can't stop thinking about you. Again. And I know this isn't one sided either. There's something here. We've both hinted at it since the invasion happened. That doesn't help at all."
"You don't think that way for me, Estella. You're just lonely. You just need amusement because you're lonely! I'm not doing this," He began to walk away.
"That's not true! I've been lonely for a long time. And seeing the way you look at me, it's something I haven't seen before. There's something here. Why won't you ever just admit to that? Are you afraid I'll hurt you again? Because you know I see everything differently now. You know that there's a chance with us!" Tears were beginning to fall. It was the first time I actually let myself cry since this invasion. I'd never cried about any of it before now.
"Estella, shut up. Just stop. This will go away. It always does.."
"Don't you get it Ben?! You're the only guy I want. You're the boy that gets stuck in my head. The boy that gives me butterflies I can't make go away. And the boy that I sit and think 'wow, I can't do anything without him'. The only that I can't imagine a day without. And you just can't seem to understand that!"
Tears were staining my face by now. It was hopeless. All of this just felt hopeless.
Once the words sank in he turned and began to walk towards me. I tried to push away but it wasn't working, he was stronger. His arms wrapped around me tight and one of his hands tangled themselves in my hair. I felt his breath on my ear and tears rolling from his cheeks to my skin.
"All I want is you too, Estella. You're the only one I want. You've always been the only one I want. I just don't deserve you."
And those were the last words he said to me before I watched him get taken by the aliens.