(Obviously, we don't own My Big Fat Greek Wedding.)
Just want to thank Fameanon for writing this story with me! And thank you, BewilderedFemale! You are a great friend and an inspiration to me-literally in this case!
Bea Wylder was on her way to the public library. She was teaching a class at university about ancient film and culture, and she needed to pick up an old comedy called My Big Fat Greek Weddingfor a students' assignment. It was taking forever in this traffic, and it was raining like someone turned off the planets weather control. She was not in a good humor. Her search for comedy was turning into an angst and drama rapidly.
When she pulled up to the Library, she finally saw why there was such a mess of traffic on the road. It looked like the line of limousines flying Federation and Romulan flags went on for blocks. "Great," she sighed and put her head on the steering wheel. "Now I am going to have to WALK, from the parking garage down the block in the RAIN!" She turned her car around and headed back to the parking garage she saw. For a minute, she wondered if giving everyone in the class an A would be better than this. Gritting her teeth she pulled in and parked.
She looked in the back seat for her umbrella, which she remembered she let her Southern friend who worked at the museum borrow for some party. Huffing slightly, she opened her car door. "I guess I won't melt."
Bea was on the street when the rain storm picked up, turning into a full blown down pour, and soaking her to the bone. People walked past her, looking at her with pity from under their umbrellas, until she finally said, "I'm not running, this movie isn't worth me running. I am walking, see me walk. See Bea Walk. Walk Bea walk." She giggled and muttered as she opened the big double doors into the library.
"Senator Letant," a man in a suit said with a broad hand gesture of welcome, "This is one of the largest and oldest public libraries still in use on Earth. This used to be in the old Nation State of the United States of America, before the earth..." he trailed off. The Senator was giving him a dead look, as if in his mind he was making a grocery list. The man shifted, "Perhaps it would be better to show you, rather than tell you."
Letant blinked. "Yes, please do." He looked at his body guards and in Romulan whispered, "I'm not convinced humans have really evolved in the last three hundred years." The guards gave a snarky grin, but knew better than to openly laugh.
Bea could hear her shoes on the marble, first squeaking loudly, and then squishing across the carpet as she approached the counter. "Excuse me, sir," she said, as kindly as she could, ignoring the rain water still dripping down her nose from her hair. The librarian at the counter tapped at the terminal, and then turned to greet the young woman, "Oh my," he said, plucking some kleenex from his box and handing it to her.
She snorted and laughed, "Thanks but at this point I think I am going to need a sham-wow or something."
The man grinned, "Well, I am fresh out of those. But if you care to browse the Elizabethan science books, I'm sure those are dry enough to meet your needs."
Bea slapped the counter and laughed, "RIGHT! Or perhaps some, I don't know, Vulcan love sonnets?"
It was the librarian's turn to laugh, "Klingon operas if you need a lot of hot air?"
Bea giggled as she dabbed away water with her Kleenex, unaware that traces of the white tissue were now stuck unceremoniously to her face. "I'd rather be wet than listen to that rubbish!" she grinned. "What I need is the data crystal with the old movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I am teaching at university, and lucky me, they picked that movie-the only one I haven't seen and don't own-for their assignment."
The man went to his computer panel and started tapping at the screen, "My great grandfather had that movie and made my dad watch it…" He frowned, "Oh my, I am so sorry…it looks like it is out."
Bea threw herself face first dramatically on the counter, "NO! Not all this way for NOTHING!"
"And this Senator, is where we keep data rods of rare and archaic films. Film was a highly popular form of entertainment from the early nineteen hundreds to…"
The Senator raised his hand to silence the man speaking, "I am aware of what film is," he said, and then pointed at the soaking woman flung on the counter. "What I am more interested in now, is what…that is?"
All eyes turned to Bea, and she could feel the heat of their stares through the coldness of her clinging clothes. Standing straight again she whispered through clenched teeth to the Librarian, "They….are…staring…at…me…aren't they?"
His eyes were wide and he nodded. "Some Romulan asked what you were…"
She turned to face the group behind her, the Kleenex still stuck to her face.
Letant chuckled, "I thought you had no homelessness on Earth anymore, Mr. Jenkins."
The man in the drab blue suit blushed, "We have, Senator, I don't know…"
Bea marched closer to the group and pointed at the Romulan Senator. "Listen up with those pointed ears of yours! I am nothomeless; I am a teacher! I just marched through the beating rain for two blocks because you and the rest of your elf pack hogged up all the parking in the library to get a movie for my class tomorrow. And so far all I have gotten for my trouble is some bad jokes and this," she held up her wad of now disintegrating Kleenex, to show him. "Now my movie is out, and I am being insulted." She threw the damp wad on his boots, and crossed her hands over her chest. "I want an apology."
Letant's guards took a half step forward, but Letant raised his hand and stopped them. "You may want an apology, but all you will get from me," he stepped closer and his blue eyes bore down on her, "Is an invitation to dinner," he finished softly and then stepped back the pace he took. "Because I am still not convinced you aren't homeless…" A mischievous jackal's smile spread over his mouth and reached clear to his eyes.
Bea's mouth flew open, and she wondered if he was insulting her or hitting on her…or worse yet...both.
"Close your mouth dear, it isn't becoming with all those wads of paper strewn over you face." He said in a passive bored manner, though he winked at her at the same time.
She did close her mouth, and her gape turned into an insulted sneer. She turned back to the librarian, "Thanks for your help. I'll see if I can pick it up from a Ferengi." Looking back at the Romulan group, "I'll be in better company."
With that she tried to flounce with some dignity out of the library, which was very hard to do; because the harder she flounced, the more squish came from her soaked shoes and socks.
The human in the suit was as red as a cherry. "Forgive that Senator, we…"
The Senator walked over to the counter. "Who was she and what did she want?"
The librarian swallowed hard. "The film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And who she is…" He shrugged helplessly, but the Romulan saw what he needed to know laying in a watery pool: a library card.
Property of Bea Wylder,it read, and the Senator palmed it discreetly. Turning to the rest of the group he said, "I believe I have seen enough here."
The tour guide's head dropped. "Of course Senator, I want to thank you for coming. I am sorry if this upset your tour."
Letant smiled, "Hardly. It made the tour. Your stories were boring." He waved his goons to his side and began to leave. Slipping the library card to the largest guard he whispered, "I want her. Find where she lives and take me there."
The rain had stopped when Bea opened the doors, and she was grateful for that. It was a waste of a trip into the city, but she could still get home before dark and see if she could order the movie she needed. After this outing, a huge glass of wine and a hot shower were first on her to do list.