Rogue's Regrets

Author's note: Finally, I'm submitting something to the X-men franchise. About time, too. I've loved First Class since it first came out, and delved into the archives for the first time last winter. That led me to want to know more about the original trilogy, which led me to watch X2 and X3. But I digress.

After watching X3, I figured that at some point Rogue would have some regrets about her decision to become a regular human. I figured that since Logan was a close friend of hers (and since I like the pairing Rogan), he'd be able to calm her down a little. And thus, this story was born. I hope you like it!

I apologize in advance for the probably-considerable amount of OOC-ness. And my pathetic excuse for Rogue's light Southern accent. I tried my best, and would appreciate some feedback about how I did. It would contribute to my future X-men fanfiction, so I beg you to PLEASE review.

Anyhow, I've chattered away entirely too long. On with the story!

Disclaimer: If I owned X-Men, do you think I'd be writing fanfiction?

It was a peaceful night at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. The sky was clear, the air was still, and Logan couldn't sleep.

For some reason, no matter what he did, he coulsleep drift off peacefully. Who knew if it was because of his boundless energy or because of his worried thoughts? Or perhaps it was his memories of the events that occurred last month? The many deaths and sudden changes in quick succession had been giving Ororo, Kitty, Bobby and Hank nightmares, to be sure.

And they hadn't even been the ones to kill Jean…

Logan pushed that thought out of his mind. That was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now. Climbing out of bed and stretching, he decided a walk would probably do him more good than just lying in his bed all night. He pulled on a shirt and pushed open the door, footfalls silent as a cat's as he walked through the halls of the Xavier Mansion.

Without any particular destination in mind, he simply let his feet carry him soundlessly through the institute. Somehow, it felt weird knowing that there were no telepaths in the mansion to know that he was awake. Well, except for Ms. Conway, Charles' close friend, but she had been so full of grief since Charles' death that she wouldn't be reading his mind. Good thing, too. His thoughts were very troubled and confusing tonight.

So troubled and confusing that he nearly missed seeing the girl at the end of the hall. Not just any girl, either. It was Marie.

He quickened his pace, though was careful to remain silent. Marie had been very withdrawn since she'd taken the cure, only choosing to remain here because she had nowhere else to go. Logan almost wished she could leave. Most of the others had turned against her, in theory knowing why she'd given up her mutation but not able to quench the feelings of betrayal. Although they would probably calm down in time, for now, it was rough for Marie. Logan knew he was one of the few people who didn't feel as though she didn't belong with the other mutants anymore.

Now he was much closer, but she didn't react to his presence at all. She was sitting in front of a window, legs drawn to her chest and hair hanging loose down her back. Without saying anything, Logan softly dropped down to her level. As though she just realized he was there, she jumped, before realizing it was just Logan and that she had no need to fear.

"Hey, kid," he greeted her, a small smile on his face. She turned to face her friend, a soft smile on her own face, before she turned back to the window, smile fading as quickly as it had appeared.

"Can't sleep either?" he prodded her. She shook her head and rested it on her knees, still looking out the window.

"You okay, kid?" he tried to steer the conversation towards the obvious problem. He could tell something was bothering her, and was pretty sure what, but decided it would be better for her to reveal her troubles voluntarily rather than wrestling them out of her.

"I'm fine, I guess," she replied, forlorn tone suggesting she was anything but fine.

"Don't lie to me, kid. You're breaking my heart," he joked. She smiled at that one before sighing again, this smile fading as quickly as the last.
Now he was even more worried. Usually, he could get her to laugh much more easily than this, even if she had something pretty major on her mind. Softly, without looking at her, he drew one arm around her shoulders. She jumped instinctively before remembering she couldn't hurt him like that, not anymore, and relaxed. "Tell me," Logan demanded. "Come on, out with it."

"Fine," she sighed. "I was thinking about why I cured my mutation."

"Oh?" Logan wasn't surprised to hear this. It had been one of the biggest decisions she could make. It was the permanent suppression of her mutation, which some called a curse and others a gift.

"Yeah," she continued. "And I couldn't help thinkin' I made things worse by gettin' rid of it."

Now he felt her shoulders trembling and turned to look at her again. She seemed to be fighting back tears.

"Tell me everything," he demanded, drawing his arm closer around her. "It'll make you feel better."

"I'm just as isolated as before!" she cried, not seeming to care that they were in a hall full of sleeping individuals. "Its as though I can't touch anyone again, 'cept it's the people here who fear me! At least last time, I had sympathy an' support!" Tears were spilling out of her eyes quite quickly now as words tumbled out of her mouth and as her accent thickened. "An' everyone here's lookin' at me like I'm a freak, an' everyone's wonderin' why I got rid of it, an' I've got nowhere to go, an' I don't have anyone to turn to-"

"You're wrong on that last one," he growled, effectively putting a stop to her rant.


"You've got me."

With that, he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close. Deciding he wasn't that good at the whole comfort thing, he just decided to let her cry and sit there. And cry she did. It was a miracle no one else woke up. Hmm, come to think of it, he was pretty sure his room would be quieter for some discussion. There was something he'd been thinking about privately for a few weeks now, and figured she might want to hear it.

Still holding her close (although he shifted the arm that had been in her hair lower so that he could carry her), he stood up and walked back down the hall to his room. As soon as he got there, he closed the door with his foot and sat back down on his bed. At this point, Marie wiggled free and gazed at him with confused red eyes.

"Logan, what-"

"Kid, just let it all out. Cry until you can't anymore."

She didn't need much more prompting before she was at it again. Once again, he pulled her close, letting her cry into his shirt and cautiously putting his arms around her, even trying at one point to run one of his rough hands through her soft, thick hair. Several minutes of hysterical tears later, she'd stopped, still shaking but calmer. Quietly (except for an occasional sniff), she looked up at him.

"I made Alkali Lake look like a little spill, didn't I?" she said with a watery smile.

"Just about," he replied and smiled back. "Feel any better?"

"A little," she replied.

"Well, you know what to do if you ever feel the need to cry again," he said, smoothing her hair out.

"Doesn't solve any of my problems, though," a frown returned to her face. "I still don't know what to do."

"Well, I'll help you with that. For starters, you do have someone to turn to: Me," he began. "Secondly, you'll always have somewhere to go. I was actually thinking of going solo. Be a field operative. That sort of thing. You could come with me if you want."

"I'd like that," she replied. "I couldn't really help if we got in a pinch, though."

"You can still fight without your mutation," he pointed out. "And you could just keep me company on longer missions."

"Okay," she nodded.

"Third, it's not hard to understand why you got rid of it. You saw how many mutants were there for exactly the same purpose. Just give 'em time and they'll come around. Finally, everyone should know better than to look at you as though you're a freak. Like I said, just wait and you'll see."

"An' as for sympathy and support?" she asked. By now, she wasn't shaking any longer, though her eyes remained red.

"Me," he echoed his earlier statements. "Me."

"Thank you, Logan," she said, a real smile blossoming on her face. "I feel much better."

"If you'd rather spend the night here, you can," he suggested.

She was sorely tempted, but shook her head. "I feel much better now," she said. "Thanks again, Logan." With that, she kissed him on the cheek lightly in gratitude and stood up, feeling the flush of warmth course through her.

"No trouble, kid. And see? One thing you can do now that you don't have your mutation."

She smiled again and got up. "'Night."

"'Night," he echoed. As soon as she was gone, he climbed under his blankets and was able to fall asleep within minutes, mind at rest.

And maybe that little kiss helped too.

So what did everyone think? I'd appreciate some feedback; it took two hours to write this and will take you less than a minute to review. Thanks in advance!