Disclaimer: Nintendo owns Mario and Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet. I just use them for my own nefarious purposes.

Author's Note: Back in high school I started making Mario versions of the plays we read in class, and it was so fun, I wanted to continue even after I finished all my English classes. Now, after a long hiatus, I'm back with another Shakespeare conversion, this one based on Romeo and Juliet. However, rather than doing a pure retelling, I decided to try a subversion of the play (changing the genders, the motivations, etc.). This is partly due to the fact that the cast didn't fit perfectly even if I tried to play it straight (same reason I went with parody for the Luigi-Hamlet conversion), but it's also because I've always thought the infamous insta-love plot was unbelievable. Hopefully my choices worked out okay.

Rated T for violence, character death, language and mature themes.

But first, the cast, with the Mario characters in bold following the original Shakespearean characters. I grouped the characters by loyalty and explained how the original characters are related, although in the story, everyone's related based on the actual in-game canon. All the weird loyalties will be explained in-story, which is set in the "present" as far as the games go, but again, the details will be explained in the text.

Cast of Characters

Romeo: Princess Peach
Montague, his father: Mario
Lady Montague, his mother: Luigi
Benvolio, his kinsman / Friar John, a friend of the Friar: Yoshi
Abram / Balthasar, his kinsmen: Toad
Another Montague / Mercutio's Page: Toadette

Juliet: Lemmy
Capulet, her father: Bowser
Lady Capulet, her mother: Kamek
Nurse, her caregiver: Kammy
Tybalt, her cousin: Junior
Peter, the Nurse's man / Servant: Morton
Sampson, another Capulet / Peter (one time) / Musician: Wendy
Gregory, another Capulet / Servingman / Musician: Iggy
Anthony and Potpan, more servants / Tybalt's Follower / misc. Servingmen: Hammer Bros.
Misc. Dinner Guests: King Boo, Petey Piranha, Cranky Kong

Prince, the leader of the town: Fawful
Paris, the Prince's kin: Birdo
Paris's Page: Lakitu
Mercutio, the Prince's kin and Romeo's friend: Princess Daisy
Friar, the local religious figure, friend to all: Larry
Watchman #1, a neutral citizen / Cousin Capulet, a dinner guest: Roy
Citizens / Watchmen / Misc. Dinner Guests at Capulet's Party: Wario and Waluigi
Apothecary, neutral faction who lives in a different town: Ludwig
Rosaline, neutral local girl: Donkey Kong

One final note: as with all my Shakespeare adaptations, I personally envision the Koopalings as being young adults in this play, looking like they do in my Super Koopa World story, but closer to their in-game heights. The exceptions are Lemmy, who looks like he does in the classic games, and Junior, who matches his appearance in Bowser II (like Bowser, but not as chunky and wearing a black scarf instead of his fang-spangled bib). However, looks aren't key to the story, so I'm not going to go through the tedium of describing everyone, and you can feel free to use those depictions (if you know them), your own imagination, or even their looks from the games (old or new). The only important thing is that Lemmy's the same height as Mario, whereas all the others are taller – sorta like in the actual games.

And with that, on with the show!