By: S.K. Knight
A/N: This story is kinda sorta of a fanfic cuz it has The Mentalist characters in it, but with a twist: It also stars me and my Twitter friends as original characters. My friends are Karini as Kaitlyn, Luiza as Lilly, & Iris as Isabella. I'm Samantha & my character is Shannon. But seriously, DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU'RE IN OUR FAN GROUP JISBON BANANAS. This whole story is a big inside joke that you won't get unless you're a Banana, but feel free to read my other fics if you wish. To the Bananas: I'm sorry if this sucks, Kah asked me to write it after we talked about how we should secretly trip Lisbon & how we're like the matchmaking girl versions of MIBs. I couldn't say no so here goes. I only posted this on here so the Bananas can read it. I had to change your names cuz Fanfiction says it can't have non-fictional characters.
So, to review:
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or its characters. All rights to rightful owners.
Outside the California Bureau of Investigation in Sacramento, 7:00PM
"So, we all remember the plan, right?" Shannon asked, and three heads nodded in unison.
Katelyn piped up. "Ok, Shannon, you and I go in while Lil and Izzy stay here and keep tabs on the targets so we know when to move on with the plan. Once the plan is executed, we exit the building without anyone seeing, right?"
Shannon nodded. "Right, now let's move, Kate."
The girls quickly did the secret banana handshake and Isabella and Lilly snuck away to keep watch on the surveillance cameras Katelyn planted in the bullpen a few days ago from the laptops they hid in the bushes outside CBI.
Katelyn and Shannon snuck quietly into the CBI, careful not to alert the night guard of their presence. They sneaked into the elevator and pressed floor 3, the Serious Crimes Unit. As they rode the elevator up, their ear pieces crackled to life.
Lilly spoke to them. "Subject One is in her office. Subject Two is asleep on his usual couch and be careful of Subjects Three, Four, and Five who are at their desks."
As Lilly said this, Shannon reminded herself that Subject One was Agent Teresa Lisbon, Subject Two was CBI consultant, Patrick Jane, Subject Three was Agent Grace Van Pelt, Subject Four was Agent Kimball Cho and Subject Five was Agent Wayne Rigsby.
"Thanks, Lil." Katelyn and Shannon answered simultaneously.
Lilly laughed. "You're welcome, guys. Now go get us some Jisbon!"
When the elevator dinged, Shannon and Kate crouched and made their way carefully out of the elevator, so no one would spot them.
"You guys need to find a way to get Subjects One and Two in the same proximity to execute the mission." Isabella reminded them, through their earpieces.
"And how do you suggest we-?" Katelyn whispered and stopped, mid-sentence, when Shannon nudged her and pointed to the yellow teacup on the break room table. Both girls snuck quietly into the break room as Shannon gingerly knocked the yellow tea cup to the floor, where it crashed and broke. The girls flattened themselves against the wall before anyone could see.
Lilly chimed in on their earpieces. "Subject One is leaving her office to head in your direction and Subject Two is awake and heading in the same direction."
Isabella chimed in a few seconds later as the footsteps grew nearer. "Execute mission in…three…two…one…"
Now. Katelyn mouthed, and Shannon stuck her foot out. They peeked around the wall and saw Lisbon fall toward Jane as Kate got her camera ready. Jane and Lisbon's lips touched as she fell and Katelyn got a video of the kiss as Jane caught Lisbon. Shannon kept her head out a little too long and as Lisbon righted herself, she looked straight at Shannon and gave her a puzzled look.
"Did you just-?" Lisbon asked.
"Abort! Abort! Mission has been compromised, I repeat, mission has been compromised." Shannon said into her ear piece and her and Katelyn quickly took off running.
"Hey! Come back!" Lisbon yelled, running after the girls. The girls snuck upstairs into an unused conference room, where belts and grappling cords were waiting. They fastened the belts tightly around their waists, hearing footsteps. Katelyn locked the door and put a chair in front of it. Shannon opened the window and secured her grappling hook securely to the window, as Katelyn did the same.
"Guys, did you get the extraction gear we placed?" Isabella asked in their ears.
"Got it, executing extraction now." Katelyn said, climbing out the window with Shannon.
"T-minus five seconds until they arrive." Lilly said, as they heard banging on the door. They checked their lines once more for security and then rappelled down the side of the CBI together. At the bottom, Shannon and Katelyn unhooked the cords from their belts and ran to the bushes, helping Lil and Izzy pack up their laptops. Lilly held the handheld camera monitor. "They're in the elevator." Isabella observed, as Shannon and Katelyn grabbed the motorized scooters they had hidden in the bushes the day before. Jane, Lisbon and the rest of the Serious Crimes Unit ran outside the building, just as each girl got on her scooter and kicked it to life. "Let's go!" Shannon yelled, pausing only to leave a note on the ground as they zoomed away. Lisbon watched the kids as Jane picked up the note. The unit read the note over his shoulder:
Dear Jane and Lisbon, so glad we could help you find true love. With our help, you finally kissed. (And don't pretend you didn't like it.) P.S. Believe it or not, you guys actually have people who want to see you together on your documentary, especially us. Sorry about all the secret agent stuff. We knew you wouldn't kiss unless we intervened so… we helped you along. Oh, and all those awkward situations over the last few weeks that you guys were put in that seemed to be random? Yeah, that was us. Love, the Jisbon Bananas
Cho spoke up first. "You guys actually…?"
"No." Lisbon affirmed.
"Yes." Jane countered, "And Lisbon liked it."
Lisbon blushed. "Shut up, it was an accident. That kid tripped me."
Rigsby nodded. "But you liked it."
Lisbon frowned. "No, I didn't."
Grace spoke up. "I agree with Jane, boss, you did look like you liked it."
"See?" Jane said, smirking.
"For the last time…I did not." Lisbon said.
"Did." Jane said.
"Didn't." Lisbon replied.
"But you did." He replied.
"Oh, I hate you. God, I hate you. Those kids tripped me." Lisbon told him, blushing.
"That doesn't stop you from liking it, look at your face. You're blushing." Jane told her.
Lisbon and Jane continued bickering all the way into the CBI, the team snickering behind them.
California Bureau of Investigation, 8:00AM
Agents Van Pelt, Rigsby and Cho sat huddled around Grace's desk the next morning, staring at the computer screen, giggling.
"Oh! There it is! The Jisbon kiss!" Rigsby exclaimed, laughing.
The group burst into laughter, just as Lisbon entered. Cho gave a subtle cough to warn them and they abruptly stopped, returning to their desks.
"What're you guys doing?" Lisbon asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, boss." Grace lied quickly, attempting to close the video but she was too late.
"Why is that kiss on the internet? And who calls us Jisbon?" Lisbon questioned.
"Oh, cheer up, Lisbon. We're famous and now you can't lie when asked if you're in love with me." Jane piped up from the couch.
"Fine, I am, ok? I am in love with you, Jane! Is that what you wanted to hear?" Lisbon said, embarrassed.
"Oh, lovely, now we can actually kiss on purpose because, as it turns out, thanks to those kids, I realized I'm in love with you too." Jane replied.
"Really?" Lisbon asked and the team gasped.
Jane got up and stood close to her. "You really need to lighten up, Tess."
Lisbon smirked. "Shut up."
He pulled her in and kissed her and the whole team clapped.