Right, so this is the first story I'm rewriting out of all my stories.
Hopefully, it will be better than the original.
I own nothing.
Ages: Peter: 15, Athena: 15, Susan: 14, Edmund: 12, Lucy: 10
Just keep walking! Just keep walking! My tiny body was near to giving up on me. My stomach was aching with hunger.I can't remember the last time I ate. The grainy sand beneath my paws was getting into the little scraps I had gotten in the forest making them even more sore than they already were.
I had been like this for little over a year now. The White Witch had cursed me into this body; a tiny, helpless lion cub. Of course, she wouldn't have cursed me into something that was strong and powerful enough to attack. Really, I'm a 15 year old elleth. My name's Athena. My parents believe me to be dead.
I couldn't take it any more. I collapsed onto the sand that was still warm from the afternoon's sun, panting, and the full moon the only one who could see me.
It was only when I heard a small sigh from a person that I looked up. It was a blond boy, probably about my age and dressed in fine clothes, with a golden crown atop his head. The High King! Only the High King wears a golden crown.
I yowled as loudly as I could.
I yelped again, louder this time.
"What the-" the king looked around, balancing on the balls of his feet, as if he were making himself smaller and more protected in a battle, holding a sharp, glinting dagger in his hand.
Again, I yelped and this time his eyes landed on my tiny frame.
I saw him put away his dagger and move over to me.
The king started stroking my head until he saw how thin I was. "Geeze, how did you get so thin?"
He picked me up and took off his red cloak to wrap me up in it, his body heat still lingering within the tightly woven fabric.
A young girl's voice came from behind us.
"Lu, what are you doing out here?"
"Looking for you silly. What you got there?"
"A lion cub, but it's so thin I'm surprised that it's alive."
I felt like saying 'it has a gender and a name thank you very much' but the type of curse I was under stopped me from talking.
"Oh, the poor thing! Let's take it to the castle."
If any more of the conversation was carried on then I didn't hear it because I fell asleep, knowing I was finally safe.
It was early in the morning when I woke up. I looked around the room I was in. It looked like an infirmary of sorts. I yawned and stretched, shaking my head, making my fur ruffling up slightly.
My paws were wrapped in soft bandages, almost like white socks and I could still feel my ribs sticking out but it wasn't as bad as it was a few days ago. Of course, me being the nosy elleth – or lion cup now – I always have been, I hopped down from the comfy bed and slipped out the door.
Walking down a lonely hallway with only a couple of doors along the way that turned out to be nothing more than broom cupboards I began to get bored. That was the problem with me, if I don't find something that interests me straight away, I quickly get bored and want something else to do.
Slipping through another door I stopped dead in my tracks.
There, were four brilliant thrones, sitting side by side, and in them sat the four Kings and Queens of Narnia. Queen Lucy the Valiant, King Edmund the Just, Queen Susan the Gentle, and High King Peter the Magnificent.
The four of them were talking softly, waiting for the members of their council to arrive.
It was Queen Lucy who saw me gaping at them first. She giggled and came running up to me, scooping me up in her arms, being careful not to be too rough. "Can we keep her Peter? Pretty please? I'll look after her I promise!"
The High King looked a little sceptical but came over to his sister, taking me from her arms, his bright blue eyes locking with my green ones as if he were searching for something in them before turning back to his sister, "Well Lucy, I don't mind as long as she doesn't cause to much trouble but it's up to her really, she might want to go off on her own or find her mother instead of staying here."
Queen Lucy pouted a bit and almost looked as if she were going to cry so I wriggled out of her brother's arms and leaped back into hers, rubbing my cheek against hers, purring softly. She giggled and hugged me close, "I think she wants to stay Peter! Please, please please!"
King Peter chuckled, before ruffling his sister's hair, earning him a 'Hey, it took me ages to get Lucy to sit still for me to do her hair Peter!' from Queen Susan, making him roll his eyes, "You don't look after her once and she's going to someone else, alright?"
Queen Lucy nodded, kissing my head before launching herself into her brother, wrapping her arms around him as I crawled onto her shoulder and then decided that her brother's shoulder would probably be more comfortable since he had the wider shoulders so I climbed onto his instead.
He sent me a side long look, "You are going to be more trouble than you're worth aren't you?"
I grinned and cocked my head to the side. Little did I know, but King Peter was going to be completely correct.
Right, so that the first chapter redone. Personally, I think it's better.
What do you all think?