There once was a chain of Pacific islands known as Bikini Atoll. It had a beautiful landscape and a perfectly harmonic ecosystem, and it spent most of its life completely untouched by humans.

The first human settlers venerated Bikini Atoll as a symbol of peace and freedom. Later on in its life, however, another group of humans discovered and conquered it. These humans, it turned out, were less interested in worshipping Bikini Atoll and more interested in using it to test out their most powerful weapons.

The testing occurred on and off for the next three centuries with weapons that got progressively more lethal. Bikini Atoll, someway, somehow, managed to endure it all. But, alas, it could not endure the detonation of the final human weapon. And, in the end, humanity couldn't endure it, either.

"SpongeBryan?"

Located directly under Bikini Atoll was the maritime metropolis of Bikini Bottom. Bikini Bottom was well-built, well-governed, and economically stable, and had a large, diverse population containing everything from sea sponges to land squirrels. It hit its stride by the time the first bomb hit Atoll, and its ultimate fall coincided with Atoll's destruction.

"SpongeBryan?"

From the ashes of Bikini Bottom, a new city was born. This was the city of Alveus.

"SpongeBryan! Wake up!" Pat shook SpongeBryan awake, and SpongeBryan shielded his eyes from Pat's headlamp.

"What?" muttered SpongeBryan.

"Don't you remember?" whispered Pat. "We were going to go shopping tonight."

Pat turned his head, revealing the grinning face of his brother, Ron. Pat and Ron, conjoined by the neck since birth, was an abnormality, a mutant, or as the creative people liked to say, a freak.

"Oh yeah," said SpongeBryan, putting his headlamp on. "I almost forgot about that. Where are we shopping this time?"

"Well, I heard that Old Man Rogers was heading out to the zapping range this evening," said Pat.

"Then let's not waste any more time." SpongeBryan snapped on his rocket boots, grabbed his miniature laptop, and sprinted out the door of his apartment with his friends right behind him.

SpongeBryan, Pat, and Ron lifted off with their rocket boots and soared through the sky. They used their headlamps as a type of radar, monitoring activity from below, and once they reached their destination, an elite neighborhood known as the Upper Ring of Alveus, they quietly landed and walked along the side of the road.

Pat and Ron led SpongeBryan to a mansion decorated with glowing lights. The brothers felt a small rumble in their stomach and realized that they hadn't eaten for an entire day.

"Do you think he left any snacks in there?" moaned Ron.

"Only one way to find out," said SpongeBryan while tapping at his laptop. "Alright, the security system's disabled. Let's break in."

Pat and Ron took out their laser guns and burned a hole around the door. SponeBryan kicked down the weakened door and walked cautiously into the mansion.

"It's safe!" called SpongeBryan as he signaled the others to come in.

Pat and Ron immediately headed towards the kitchen while SpongeBryan scanned the living room of valuables. As SpongeBryan stuffed his bag with jewelry and microchips, Pat and Ron stuffed their faces with candy and seaweed-chips. Once Pat and Ron were full, they accompanied SpongeBryan upstairs to "shop" with him on the second floor.

15 minutes later, Old Man Rogers drove up to the mansion. Noticing the door gone, he ran into the house with his laser gun ready.

"Who's in there?" he screamed. Nobody answered.

"Who's in there?" he screamed again. Still no answer.

Old Man Rogers scrambled up the stairs and into his room. He noticed that the bottom of his window was scorced and looked out of it in vain. Upon realizing that he had just been robbed clean, he threw his laser gun to the ground in fury.

"I'll get you bastards!" he cried to the heavens. "I'll track you down until my dying breath!"

He died the next morning. He was a very old man.

SpongeBryan, Pat, and Ron sold off most of what they acquired, and SpongeBryan used his half of the profits to pay off gambling debts. Pat and Ron used their half to buy out the local grocery store, and the two-headed freak from the slums of Alveus would never have to worry about being hungry again.

Cyberpunk: 4014