It was a crisp cold day in April, and Christian's cock was striking my genitals. "Christian," I groaned, "Are you sure this is safe? What if Big Brother is watching?"

"Ana, the only Big Brother you should be concerned about right now is mine," grinned Christian as he entered my Ministry of Love.

"Oh, Christian," I howled, "that feels doubleplusgood." As I lost myself in the ecstasy, I thought back to how I first met Mr. Grey.

Ironically, I first encountered Christian at a meeting of the Anti-Sex League. He and I were the two most fervent members of our branch, so it was ironic that I was finding myself physically attracted to him, despite my best efforts to supress those traitorous feelings. After a particularly heated meeting, he invited me to join him at his home to plan future anti-sex efforts. It was an ironical ruse to get me alone; once there he made love to me, engaging in a roleplay scenario he called "Thought Policeman and thoughtcriminal." I had a bellyfeel that what we did was wrong, yet it made my belly feel so right.

Ever since that fateful day we've been conducting a secret, torrid affair. To think that Christian, a rich and successful Inner Party member, could desire me, a mere Outer Party member, still shocks me. He likes to dominate me—hit me, tie me up, threaten to have me arrested and tortured, and more. Our sexcrime could get us killed, but we'll risk anything for our passionate love.

Christian returned me to the present by spanking me with a copy of The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism. "You're a dirty little opponent of Ingsoc, aren't you?" he growled.

"Oh, yes, Christian," I murmured. "I've been a naughty thoughtcriminal, and you need to punish me."

"And how should I do that?" he queried. "Should I take you to Room 101? Or should I go inside your Room 101?"

"Oh no, Christian," I breathed breathlessly, "Anywhere but there."

"Too bad, baby," he responded. "I'm going to give your Room 101 two minutes of love."

But he never got the chance, as the Thought Police burst into the room and arrested us. Then I had to play Thought Policeman and thoughtcriminal for real, and it was doubleplusungood. But when it was done, I had won the victory over myself and BDSM sex. I no longer loved a dominating, possessive, intrusive and abusive man; I loved Big Brother.