Author's Note: If you want to know why I am writing this fanfic click here click here.
TRIGGER WARNING! This multi-chapter fanfic will include an eating disorder and self harm. If you think you will, at all in any way, be triggered, please don't read it. If you do chose to read it but find yourself getting triggered, please stop reading. The last thing I want to do is trigger anyone. Although they are not present in this prologue, I am still warning you.
Arizona held back a yawn as she walked into the Chief's Monday Morning meeting, and flashed her signature bright smile as she sat down with the others to listen to the week's plans. Exhausted as she was, she refused to show it. A perky roller skate girl wasn't meant to be exhausted, in her opinion. Even if she had been kept up by nightmares for the past few months.
Arizona looked over at Callie, who was happily chatting away with their her eyes still fixed on her wife, Arizona zoned out into her own daydream world of unanswered thoughts. Can she tell I'm not okay? Does she know I'm having nightmares? How can she sit there and be all happy and smiley when I'm so…not? Wasn't I meant to be the perky one? What happened to me?
"Dr. Robbins? Dr. Robins!?"
A sharp elbow collided with Arizona's arm, forcing her to look up in surprise, only to find the entire room staring at her. She gave a quick sideways glance at Teddy, who was looking at her in concern. "Yes, Chief Hunt?"
"Any important upcoming Peds cases, Dr. Robbins?"
"Oh, uhm, right. There's a broken arm, a broken leg, a non-emergent appi and cardio case, and routine check-ups and such."
"Thank you. Alright, moving on. Neuro?"
While Derek brought the other attendings up to speed on the neuro cases, Arizona's eyes scanned the room, searching for any indication of what they were thinking of her slip-up. Trained doctors that they were, no one gave away anything if any of them were still thinking of it.
"Oh my gosh, Teddy I am so embarrassed. I just zoned out…" Arizona bit her lip nervously and glanced up at her best friend.
"Hey, it's okay! Most of them in there have had babies, and know what having a newborn at home is like, they all remember the sleepless nights. And those who haven't had babies have already seen it happen to the ones who have. Arizona, we're surgeons, we all get it. No one will even remember, so don't beat yourself up. It'll pass as she grows up, okay?"
"Uh, sure." Arizona smiled. But inside, she was screaming. It won't ever pass. It's not Sofia, it's me.