A/N Um, this is kind of based off like, a dream I had last night and honestly, I realize after I wrote it, it's mixed with my own experiences from a few years ago when I was going through a bunch of crap. It's Kogan bromance because 1; I love Kogan bromance and 2; Logan was the one afflicted in my dream. It's rated T for kind of gruesome and violent imagery. And the title is actually what I named one of my paintings a while back ago. Heh, I like sharing useless facts about my stories.
Logan watched as drops of his own blood splashed onto the white tile flooring, staining the cold surface a vivid, stomach-churning crimson. His mind was momentarily paralyzed with shock, though bolts of pain ripped through his arm.
Why had he done this?
Logan dropped his own personal weapon, a pocket knife, to the floor. It fell with a clang, right into the rapidly growing puddle of blood, causing the red liquid to splatter further against the floor and walls.
He had cut too deep, and he knew it right away. He hadn't even meant to cut himself, honestly. He was alone in the bathroom, thinking bad thoughts that had been bottled up unknown in the back of his mind. Something took over him, anger and self-loathing cursing through his veins, causing him to drive the knife into his flesh. It just happened and he regretted it immediately.
When he had first slashed at his own skin, he felt almost powerful, even though he couldn't control himself at all. The twisted rush of adrenaline caused him to slice through his own skin three more times before he crashed in an instant. The power was gone, leaving him feeling weak, wretched, pitiful. The Logan Mitchell he knew would have never done something like this to himself. It was as if he was possessed.
Logan sank to the floor, unable to tear his eyes away from the wounds oozing blood on his arm. It made him feel sick to his stomach. What if this was the end? What if he bled out, alone on the bathroom floor? He was training to be a doctor, so why wasn't he even trying to stop the bleeding with his extensive knowledge?
Logan heard a door open and slam shut and a cheery voice call out that he was home. Logan froze for a moment, but he was too panicked to hide what he just did. He needed help, he needed his best friend to hold him. He needed it so badly, it hurt worse than the slashes on his arm.
"Kendall! Can you please help me?"
Logan's voice was broken, quiet. But Kendall heard the desperation and fear all the way in the kitchen. He knew right away that his Logie was hurt.
"Logan! You alright? I'm coming!" Kendall called as he ran through the hall. He flung open the bathroom door, and didn't see Logan until he cast his eyes downward.
"Oh my God," Kendall whispered. He got down on his knees and grabbed Logan's blood soaked hands in his, holding them together. Tears instantly pricked at his eyes as he looked at his pale, brunet friend looking smaller than ever, bleeding profusely from wounds he had caused himself. Kendall never, ever thought he would have to witness something like this. He thought he kept his best friend well protected and loved. This was all wrong.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Logan whispered. He started crying the moment he saw Kendall tear up, but his tears had quickly escalated to violent sobs.
"No, don't say sorry," Kendall said, feeling incredibly guilty and scared. He knew he just needed to make Logan feel better, to comfort and love him. He brought the bleeding boy into his arms and rested him against his chest, not even caring that blood was soaking into his jeans and shirt. "Don't you say you're sorry, Logie. I'm going to fix you, I swear. I'm going to fix you, buddy," Kendall promised, and he wasn't just talking about Logan's wounds.
As Logan cried, Kendall made quick work in trying to stop the bleeding in Logan's arm. One gash was particularly large and close to the wrist, but the others were somewhat shallow and thin. His eyes glanced at the blood-stained knife besides Logan's sob-wracked body. His heart twitched uncomfortably at the sight. Something hurt is baby bro enough to cause the innocent boy to drive an actual knife into his own flesh. The lividness Kendall felt at this made him shake. He had to push his anger away for the sake of Logan's health. He had to get him better, now. He was losing too much blood.
Kendall sang softly to Logan as he went through washcloth after washcloth, each rag becoming soaked in blood. He thought about calling 911, but he had left his phone in his car and didn't want to leave Logan even for a second. The blood flow was beginning to slow, though. Kendall held Logan to his side, the brunet's arm wrapped in cloth and raised up above his head. It took too many agonizing, scary moments but finally the bleeding stopped. Kendall quietly dressed the cuts in bandages after spraying anti-bacterial numbing spray over the violent red marks.
"It hurts," Logan said with a whimper as Kendall put the last piece of tape on the bandages.
"I know, buddy," Kendall said. He kissed his head tenderly. Logan sniffled. Kendall offered him a tissue and wet down another rag, this one to press to Logan's swollen eyes and red cheeks.
"Why are you being so nice?" Logan choked out. Kendall looked at him with wild confusion.
"What do you mean, Logan?"
"You're so calm, you're not even yelling at me. Why don't you hate me for what I did?"
Kendall set down the rag he was blotting Logan's face with and put his chin in his hands. "Logan, I could never hate you for feeling so much pain inside. This isn't your fault, okay?"
Logan's brown eyes filled with more tears, causing them to sparkle like two amber gems, and Kendall found the beauty bittersweet.
"I hate me, Kendall. It was like I was possessed. I don't even know why this happened, I was just so… So sad. It took away the pain. But it's not worth it, it's not. I won't do it again, I swear."
Kendall brought Logan into a hug and pressed his forehead against the brunet's, cupping the back of his neck with his palm. Kendall could feel the younger boy's heart racing against his chest.
"I know it won't happen again, Logan. Because I won't let it. You're not going to be broken anymore," Kendall said. His deep green eyes bore an unwavering promise, and Logan knew he meant his words with all his heart. He would never feel like this again.
A/N Short but hopefully sweet? I hope that was okay. Let me know? Thanks for reading, lovelies.