So, I really should be writing more on "Lucky Angels", but I had the fortune/misfortune of reading SHfan84's story "Unlucky Star", and it depressed me enough that I couldn't think about anything Lucky Star related except for poor, poor, Kurokona and her sad, sad life. I don't handle that kinda stuff well, which is odd considering my personality, so I've asked SHfan84 if I could write a better ending/story/sequel. Keep in mind that I've been playing a certain game, and it's influenced the way I think for now, so bare with it, okay? I hate sad endings, so I'll be sure to it that I'm not depressed when it's over.
Don't own, blah, blah.
Written under the influence of Skillet. Oh, and Cool Edition and 100% Nai Nai Nai.
Kurokona woke from her dreamless sleep to the sound of her alarm going off. She could tell without looking in a mirror that she likely looked like hell. She could feel the rings under her eyes, and her body ached from the sobs the night before. It all came back in a rush as it came back to her.
Kagami….she's not real….none of it was real….Miyuki…my truth….
Why? Why couldn't it be real? Why couldn't I be happy Konata Izumi, with my own friends who loved me for who I was? Why couldn't I be happy? Do I not deserve happiness?
A beeping interrupted her thoughts as she looked over to once more beeping clock.
"I thought I turned you off…" Without further adieu, she began to ready herself for school.
When a man lies, he destroys a part of the world.
Kurokona sat alone at her seat, wishing bitterly for the world she rejected and left behind. She could almost hear Tsukasa and Miyuki's idle chatter, and she bit back the urge to cry.
Kagami…I wish….I wish…
Her face was hidden in her crossed arms as she felt the tears come.
Everthing was a lie. All the wistful fantasy of a girl half driven over the edge.
She could hear the world fading around her as she slipped into a meditative state in an attempt to calm herself.
I had to do it. I had to destroy her. She'd have driven me insane otherwise. And I…would have welcomed it if it had gone much longer. But this…this is reality.
"Mind if I sit here?" The world snapped back into place as a voice intruded in on her thoughts. She looked up to see an empty classroom, and a familiar pink hair framed face.
"Mi-Miyuki…No, you're not real, you can't BE here!" She yelped stumbling back in her chair.
"I can if it's a dream, Izumi-san. Please calm down." Kurokona shakily made her way from the desk she had pressed herself against and sat down again, her eyes never leaving Miyuki's face.
"You don't have to fear me, Izumi-san. I cannot hurt you, not directly, anyway. Curiosity killed the Cat, as the westerners say." Miyuki took on a contemplative look, tinged with sadness. "So I wasn't real…I think that saddens me. I would have very much liked to be real. But who's to say I can't be?"
"You aren't real! You can't be real…or you'd be just like Kagami…"
"Is that so? I don't think that would be correct. Kagami only does that because she loves you, in her own special way. She's always there, in the furthest reaches of your mind. I can sense her there, crying her eyes out, begging you to come back to her."
"I can't….stop this, Miyuki…I can't take this. Not so soon. Not now…" Kurokona grasped her chest, her eyes tearing up. "I can't talk about this. I killed my best friend…"
"Are you sure? Because I think Kagami-san thinks she did that to you. Otherwise she wouldn't be this distressed. When a man lies, he destroys a part of the world. If I am your quest for truth, then Kagami is your hopes and dreams. You made her to contain all you ever wished and dreamed for. So why did you kill her?"
"I killed her because I had to! Why…why are you doing this? Why can't you all leave me alone?" Kurokona sobbed, the tears coming like a flood.
"You can't kill your hopes; only change their forms. The Kagami you killed yet lives, for without her, I would not still be here. Why does man light up the dark? Because he fears what lurks within. But no amount of fire or electricity will light up the darkness behind the eyes. Kagami controlled the Abyss. We know that to be true, but I don't think she WAS the Abyss. How do you control the Abyss? "
"Go away Miyuki, I won't let you do this. I won't let you drive me insane!"
"I don't seek your insanity, Izumi-san…I only seek the truth. Until you accept that, then we will never be…whole. We will never be right. We will never be….happy."
"IZUMI!" Kurokona was once more jerked to consciousness, Miyuki and the classroom fading away as her teacher yelled her name. "Perhaps you should pay attention in class, instead of sleeping, insolent child!"
Kurokona spent the rest of the day puzzling over what Miyuki had said. It just would not leave her mind. Detention was a grim affair as well. It wasn't that she minded studying, and she would do well regardless, but it would have been nice to dread it just a little. It would have been nice to say that she wanted to skip because she had friends waiting for her.
She sat on her bed, her door closed, and her favorite manga in hand. No matter how she tried though, she couldn't focus on it, finally giving up and covering her eyes with her arm. She could feel the tears prickling in her eyes.
It was good while it lasted…but I think…it wouldn't…Maybe it would have better not to have dreamed it all. If Kagami was my hopes…Then maybe I would be better off dead.
There was a beeping sound of her alarm going off, and she looked over. It was only seven in the evening, so why was it going off? Puzzled, she shut it off, watching it intently.
Dare, Dare, Dare ga
Dare, dare, dare ni,
Dare, dare, dare no kotoi ki ni shiteru no…
(Someone, someone has
Noticed their feelings for someone)
It started softly, but the voice was unmistakable.
Kurokona gasped sharply, backing up on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. "No! NO! GO AWAY!" She could feel the tears in her eyes, and the longing of her heart.
shukudai nara shibu shibu oshieru
ayashii guzzu kau no mo tsukiau
(I reluctantly help you with your homework
I go with you to buy suspicious goods)
Holding her legs closer to her, she hid her face, not caring if Ayako found her like this.
Yet, a spark of curiosity flickered when the singing voice cracked, interrupted by a sniffle. The sound of weeping invaded her ears.
"She's always there, in the furthest reaches of your mind. I can sense her there, crying her eyes out, begging you to come back to her."
"No…No, I'm sorry Kagami, I won't…I can't…I won't let you….I WON'T!" There was the tickling sound of glass breaking, and Kurokona looked over to see her window had shattered. The sound of footsteps was heard as Ayako stormed in, having heard the sound of glass.
"KUROKONA! Look at this mess! I You will clean up EVERY piece of this glass, and You will not eat till you do! You'll be paying for the repairs, too!" Her face was red, flushed as she screamed, making Kurokona flinch and recoil at her drunken rage. The whole ordeal was lasted five minutes before she stormed out.
akirenagara hora kocchi da yo hora
genki dashinasai yo
(Even though I'm shocked, look, I'm still here
So cheer up)
She jumped as a sad, pleading voice sounded directly into her ear, right before her alarm went off again. That's when she noticed it.
A familiar feeling. A feeling of wrongness.
Go away, go away, go away, go away…. *she began to meditate, clearing her mind as weeping began to fill her ears, growing louder.
"A waking dream. Lucid dreaming is often described by those who use it as a sense of knowing what around them isn't real. Some liken it to a movie called "The Matrix" in which the protagonist is able to control the world around him though sheer willpower after learning to understand what is real and what is not. Some do not believe it is possible, yet many have professed that they use it often. "
Miyuki's voice almost pulled her out of her trance, causing her to look up. In her doorway stood her avatar of truth, and a far less welcome figment.
Kagami, however, made no move to do anything, just staring at her with a look of longing.
"Why did you bring her here, Miyuki?" Her voice was far calmer than she felt, her meditative state threatening to break. The weeping was Kagami's voice, but the Kagami before her wasn't crying.
"I am the part of you who seeks the truth. She is a part of this truth. " Kurokona focused on making Kagami vanish as she began to fade from view.
A sob. Kagami stopped fading and began to solidify again as her eyes filled with unshed tears.
"You see it now, don't you? You have power over your mind, even when your mind fights you. You are Kurokona, and you are yourself. But I am also you, just as she is. She doesn't want to lose you, and without her, I would not exist. Why would you want to live without hope? What is there to look forward to? Why exist? Your dreams make you. Without your dreams, the world is far darker than even this. The Abyss seeks to break you, even as Kagami controlled it. You know the answer to this unasked riddle, but your mind hasn't realized it yet."
"Konata…I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything….just come back to me. I promise I'll never snap at you again. I don't even care if you hate me; just don't leave me like this. I'm lonely without you."
The words echoed in her mind as Kagami looked up at her tearfully. Her hand reached out, and her eyes pleaded. But in her other hand…a knife gleamed.
"Miyuki….you too?" Kurokona breathed. Miyuki's glasses shifted, the reflective light obscuring her eyes.
"I love you, Konata Izumi." Kurokona froze as the words echoed.
"I always loved you, I think. I just want your happiness. I don't care about anything else; I just want to see you smile."
"No. You can't deceive me, Kagami. I won't let you kill me. I won't let you drive me insane, Miyuki. I'm surprised Tsukasa hasn't made an appearance here as well. You're not real, all of you are fake." Kurokona felt her tears dry up as she grew angry. "You all….I thought you were my friends. I guess I was wrong."
There was a bone chilling growl as a red, fleshy THING jumped into the window. It looked humanoid, but out of its back jutted two arms ended with sharp spikes. It looked at her and let out a heart stopping growl, leaping at her, blades ready to impale her as she felt a spike of intense fear enter her chest. This isn't real! THIS ISN'T REAL!
Death never came as there was a loud blasting noise and a screech. Kurokona opened the eyes she hadn't realized she had been holding.
To see Kagami with a strange gun she suddenly recognized as a Plasma Cutter in hand and a vicious snarl in her hand as Kagami crossed the room in a few steps, firing repeatedly at the thing she suddenly recognized as a necromorph. The plasma energy tore it to pieces as it grew still. More growls were heard around her.
"The Abyss grows restless. It wants us. It hungers for our very soul."
"It WON'T have her! I can't control the Abyss anymore Konata, You destroyed that ability when you rejected and killed me the first time. " Another Abyss Necromorph broke through the door, and Kagami promptly blasted it's legs out as Miyuki readied a Line gun.
"You must chose quickly, Izumi-san. What is your answer? Live or die, it's your choice. You can remain in this hell, or you can accept the truth. Either way, we will vanish forever. But one is far more pleasant than the other. One we vanish, and one we vanish as benevolent parts of you."
"Goddamit! Stay AWAY FROM MY KONATA!" Kagami yelled as she blasted the limbs off yet another Abyss Born necromorph. A smaller one jumped on her back as she yelped, trying to push it off.
"Konata, you have to hurry! We can't hold the Abyss for long with you feeding it like this!" Kagami shouted.
"You say truth or this hell. Why should I care if my figments kill each other?"
"Because you assume this is the hell I speak of." Miyuki looked strange as she blasted a necromorph about to impale Kagami, who promptly turned and blasted a necromorph that had been sneaking behind Kurokona. "They know you're weak right now, Izumi-san, and we are only as powerful as you let us be. You. Must. Chose!"
"What if I don't? What if I reject all of you and refuse to go insane like you want?"
"You don't have that choice, dammit! If you don't pick me, you pick the Abyss by default! You're not insane, you're ASLEEP!" Kagami cried out as one scored a hit on her, slicing her leg open as she cut it apart.
When a man Lies, he destroys a part of the world.
When a Man lies to himself, he destroys not the world, but HIMSELF.
This is hell on earth, and I'm tormented by these images. Everything feels wrong now. This rooms….it feels wrong, but so does those monsters.
Kurokona sat down, and began to meditate. The world began to slip away, but it felt different. She could still hear the growls and sounds of plasma cutter fire, but she felt herself in that thoughtless state. Slowly, she raised her hand, and willed it to change. Her eyes widened in shock as her fingers seemed to melt and fuse together to form a blade as white noise began to fill her head. She focused on that, trying to bring it closer, feeling a sensation similar to waking up. There was weeping and soft murmuring voices, but she couldn't make out what the voices were saying.
Kagami was right. She was dreaming this, but for some reason, she couldn't wake up, no matter how hard she tried. She was jolted from her thoughts as a hand grabbed her and pulled her out of the room as her vision cleared.
Necromorphs. Half the house was gone, and they were everywhere. She turned, seeing Kagami in her school uniform before she stopped and picked Kurokona up and began to run to a familiar house. Memories began to flood into her mind in a jumbled mess as she was pulled into what she vaguely remembered as Kagami's room as the door slammed behind her. Kagami placed her back against it and slid down into a sitting position.
"You're out of time. Miyuki is gone. Everyone is gone, hell, I'll likely bleed out in moments. You have to chose, Konata. Live or die."
"..I…I don't know what's going on anymore, Kagami. I thought you were just a figment, but…." Kurokona didn't know what to think anymore.
"…You've noticed it. That's a relief.* Kagami said in familiar annoyance, but it was oddly comforting. "The other world was fake, but now you understand that this one may be no different. I know you don't trust me, but trust this if nothing else." Kagami shifted position and began to crawl toward Kurokona, the plasma cutter gone and replaced with a familiar knife, trailing her own blood behind her.
"I love you, Konata Izumi. Never doubt that. Come back to me, Konata, and we can be happy again. Come back to me, and I promise…I'll always be there with you. The Abyss won't rip me away from you unless you let it. I'm Kagami for a reason. I'm not quite as smart as Miyuki, but I understand this much.
You're confusing the symptoms for the cause."
Suddenly, it seemed to fall into place. That simple statement spawned so many different possibilities, but also eliminated so many of them.
"You're confusing the symptoms for the cause."
"When a man lies, he destroys a part of the world."
"When a Man lies to himself, he destroys not the world, but HIMSELF."
"Lucid dreaming is often described by those who use it as a sense of knowing what around them isn't real."
"Which choice is the one where I wake up?"
Kagami looked shocked for a moment, before a truly brilliant and happy smile covered her lips. "Konata….Thank you." Suddenly, Kagami had her arms around her, and was weeping happily . "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Kagami pulled her head back, looking at Kurokona in the eye , before closing the gap.
Kurokona could only blink in shock as their lips met. Ka-Kagamin is kissing me? Wait, Kagamin?
A sharp piercing pain shot through her chest. Did she stab me?
She pulled back to look, but found herself transfixed by Kagami's tear filled eyes. The world blurred, then seemed to dissolve into black.
Konata's eyes fluttered open. "Uhg….my head…It feels like a giant blue monster stepped on it-ACK! Forget my head, my chest! Kagami, you stupid bitch, did you stab me after all?!"
"KONATA! KONATA'S AWAKE! " A familiar voice echoed in the room as the feet of multiple people running down a hall thundered in her ears.
"Not so loud, Kagami!" It hurt to move.
"Don't try to move too much, Konata, or I swear to every Kami in existence that I will burn every manga and game in your room. I won't have you hurting yourself on my account." Kagami's face filled her view, looking exactly as it had last time she saw it. Full of happy tears and a smile.
"I missed you so much, Konata…." The pain was starting to fade as Konata began to look around. It looked like she was in a hospital bed. An IV was in her arm, and she felt like she was starving.
"We were all very worried, Izumi-san. Your father has been particularly worried, and Kagami-san has been beside herself with worry." A sweet voice added. Konata looked over to the door where Miyuki stood along with Tsukasa, Nanako, Ayano, Yutaka and even Misao.
"Yeah, Hiiragi-sama couldn't even STUDY, she was so worried." Misao snickered, though relief was clear on her face. A nurse came in and began to busy herself with checking the IV and such. She could swear she saw the nurse give Kagami a knowing look before telling her that the doctor would be by shortly, and that everyone needed to come in one at a time so as not to overly stress Konata.
Everyone else left immediately, leaving Kagami alone with Konata. (Misao: Remember Hiiragi, no rough sex till she gets better! Kagami: MISAOOOO! Sh-shut up, it's not like that!)
The silence was suffocating. Kagami was the first to try and break it.
"S-so…You said something about me st-stabbing you. What's with that? Am I….really that bad to you? I…I meant what I said, before all this happened. I don't want you to think of me any differently, and I hope you still want to be fr-fr-friends…." Kagami seemed to stumble over friends as tears filled her eyes. Konata tried not to let her own tears show.
"It was just a bad dream I had…I think. It's nothing. More importantly, I…don't really remember what you said."
Kagami's face seemed to brighten, then fell, before she took on a more annoyed look. "You better not just be saying that so I'll say it again. Beside…I…I don't want you to fall into a coma again. The doctor said it may have been shock that caused your body to weaken enough to be affected by illness. I really did miss you, you know…You were out for three weeks, you know." Kagami stood up, and stated that her time was up, and that Miyuki was next.
As she headed for the door, however, Konata saw something that made her blood run cold. Standing next to the door was the Kagami from her dream, her fears eased when she saw the smile on her face, though.
"You don't remember what she said, but I've said it several times to you for her. She told you she loved you, and you didn't know how to handle that. We always suspected, but were never sure. I embodied your hopes, dreams and desires for a reason. What you do now is up to you." With that, she began to fade.
"Kagami, wait!" There was still so much she wanted to ask her!
"What is it, Konata?" the real Kagami poked her head back into the room.
"if you're sure…"
Miyuki walked in moments later. "She may not show it, but Kagami-san really was worried. She wept for days, saying it was her fault."
Konata felt happiness warm her heart. This was what she wanted. This was what she would give everything up for. Not her hobbies, but…her friends.
"Hey….Miyuki….my name is Konata, right? Not Kurokona?"
"Yes, that is correct. The doctor said you may have some temporary amnesia from what happened, but the memories will come back in time."
"So…this is real then? Not a dream?"
Miyuki looked thoughtful. "I believe it is real. But only you would be able to decide if it was or not. A dream person would likely tell you that it's real, wouldn't they?"
"You're right, I guess." Konata blinked, realizing there was an easy test. She closed her eyes as Miyuki watched curiously as a peaceful look covered Konata's face, before she lifted her right hand and stared intently at it. It stayed the same.
Konata could have leapt for joy…if her chest didn't hurt so much. It was real. She was finally awake.
"Hey, Miyuki, tell me about lucid dreaming!"
"Oh, that's an interesting thing to ask." They chatted about the finer points of such things, and what Miyuki had read about such for about fifteen minutes, before Miyuki said she had better let Tsukasa in.
Tsukasa was all smiles as she walked in. "Sis is smiling again. I'm glad you woke up, Kona-chan. Sis won't admit it, but she was really depressed for a while there. She came by after school every day, and even studied here. There were times we'd come by and find her asleep at your bedside." Tsukasa giggled as she recalled a particularly humorous incident. Her face grew oddly serious, however. "Sis was really worried about you, Kona-chan. She didn't know I was listening, but she would talk to you for hours, begging you to come back to her. She really cares about you, Kona-chan, and maybe as more than friends. But...try not to tease her too much about it. She really does love you, you know."
Konata remained quiet for a while moment. "I…had a bad dream. But near the end, I kept hearing her voice. At one point, she was even….but it must have been a part of the dream."
Tsukasa did a small double take. "You heard her singing to you? Sis made that song up just for you, you know. I was shocked when I first heard it, but she means every word."
"I don't doubt it, but it it sounded so deredere!" Konata purposefully neglected to mention that it had, at the time, prompted far more negative emotions at the time than positive. Tsukasa and Konata talked about random subjects for a few more minutes, before the Nurse came in and said that Konata needed her rest now. Tsukasa waved bye as she left, leaving Konata alone with her thoughts.
It was all a dream. I'm Konata Izumi, otaku extraordinaire, and I have friends. I'm happy. Kurokona was the real figment, Kagami is my best friend, and I'm not alone.
"That's right. You have friends, family, and are happy. One of your friends seems to even have a crush on you." Kagami and Miyuki stood side by side at her bed. Oddly, Konata felt no fear from the two, only calming reassurance.
"Thank you, you two. I…I don't know why I would have that kind of dream, anyway. It was horrible." Konata shuddered as she remembered the pain and loneliness of Kurokona.
"I tried to pull you out of it, but even I didn't know what you really wanted. I'm a part of you, and you yourself were confused. When Kagami finally confessed, you didn't know how to handle it, so I created a world where she was just your friend. But your mind was still chaotic, and thus you also became Kurokona. Her dark world was your fears. It may have also been from some of the darker animes and games you play. The only way to free you was to kill Kurokona, or so I thought. But Kurokona rejected me, and I lost control of my own power over the Abyss, which held all you hated and feared. I didn't know if you wanted to even wake up. But in the end, you had to make the choice to accept the truth and wake up." Kagami smiled softly down at her. Her hand came down and stroked Konata's hair lovingly. "Also, I didn't know if Miyuki was on my side or not, and I knew she would object to how I wanted to wake you up. Now, I'm glad she stopped me."
Miyuki also smiled. "You're smarter than most realize. Kurokona was smart, but she is also you. Now that you have embraced the truth and woken up, you need not worry about the Abyss. As long as you have your friends and family, as long as you stay cheerful and optimistic, we can keep the hopelessness of the Abyss locked away."
Kagami scoffed. "You say we, but I'm the one that has to wade through Konata's Monster Of the Week Abyss mobs to free her when she gets depressed. You're a guide. I'm the action hero in this crazy otaku's head."
Konata couldn't help it. A giggle bubbled it's way out of her throat, before she remembered how much laughing hurt at the moment. The two figments grinned at her as they began to fade.
"Just keep your chin up. No matter how bad it gets, remember Kurokona's world. That world exists in your head. Stay happy, and you'll give her happiness. Think of it as a game. You're good at games, right?"
"Wait! Will I see you again?" Konata couldn't help ask, even though she knew what the reply would be. They were a part of her, after all.
Miyuki smiled as Kagami sighed. "Now that you're awake, you don't need us anymore. We're always there with you, in your head; just without form. Miyuki is the smartest person you know; therefore, she was truth. I'm your best friend, maybe more, and I make you happy, so I was hope and desire. You may not see us, but you'll feel us. Just…try to use Miyuki more." Kagami looked pained, and Konata laughed at how she had made Kagami so like the real thing. "And study more often, dammit!"
Konata laughed, despite the pain in her chest. Unlike Kurokona, however, the pain was purely physical.
She was Konata, and she was Awake. She was Konata, Izumi, and she was Happy.