Promise kept? I guess, technically, it is no longer the weekend. But this is here! Took several months but it is finally here! I hope you don't hate me for this…
WARNING- Brief spanking moments, swearing, and bullying. I don't mean to offend so please don't hate me! Also beware of angst. Lots and lots of angst…
Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong. My father, well, he…hates me. He's been so short tempered lately, it's like he is a different person. He gets mad at everything, he yells and curses a lot, and he refuses to be close to me. He has never been like this before. Even when I've been a complete brat and he has to punish me he still lets me know that he still loves me. But now, anytime I open my mouth, he just loses it.
He's been like this for a while, but it got really bad today. I had had a terrible day at school that day. There's a new boy in our class at school named Mike. Jake (we're kind of friends now) and I don't like him very much because he is always picking on other people. He made Angela, one of the nicest girls in our class, cry. He shoved Jacob's little cousin Seth into the mud and called him a dirty mutt. He even threw a book at our teacher after she tried to get him apologize for dumping Eric's lunch in the sandbox.
Bella wanted us to play with him today. She said we were being mean and that we can't really know him without spending time with him. Neither Jake nor I wanted to play with him, but Bella kept insisting. Finally, I yelled at her, telling her if she hung around no good jerks like Mike she would become one too. She hit me, hard, right in the nose. My eyes stung with tears, partly because of my nose and partly because I felt betrayed. If that wasn't bad enough, I could hear stupid old Mike starting to laugh at me.
"Crybaby Cullen!" He shouted with a disturbing amount of glee. "Crybaby Cullen is getting beaten up by a girl!" He called to the others on the playground. Kids started to crowd around to see what was happening. Some of them looked at me with pity; they also thought Mike was a bully. Others joined him, laughing and taunting me.
"Aw, poor baby! Did he get a booboo from the mean girl?"
"Does anyone else smell that? I think the baby went in his diaper!"
"Don't worry Edward, I have a baby brother, I know how to change your diaper!" Mike shouted as he ran over to me and began tugging on my pants. I let out of shriek of terror, scared that he might really pull my pants down in front of everyone. I looked up at Bella pleadingly, but she just glared down at me and snarled, "Serves you right." I felt like she had punched me in the gut.
Thankfully, Jake came to my rescue. Little Seth even shoved Mike to the ground, with the help of Jake. Jake then marched over to Bella called her a double-crossing jackass. Soon they were screaming at each other, calling each other all sorts of names that would cause most kids to get a mouth soaping if any adult heard them.
Over the years I learned if you were going to risk the consequences of saying a dirty word, do it when you're out of soap, especially Lux.
In the end, Jake and I ended up getting a paddling from the principle and time in the corner. Mike didn't get in trouble because both he and Bella said I was making fun of him! And Bella didn't get in trouble because she was just "defending" him! The worst part was my nose had begun to bruise, showing off my shame to the world. Throughout the day Mike and his friends would whisper "Crybaby Cullen" or make baby noises at me. He didn't even get in trouble, not for any of it! The teacher sent a note home with me to give to my father to let him know of my behavior. To say I was miserable would be an understatement. So I went home, hoping my father would see I not only needed a few reassuring hugs but that I had been punished quite unfairly at school.
Like I said, my father had been a little agitated the past few days but I figured he was just stressed with work stuff (he lost three patients last week). But, I wasn't too worried. My father is a very understanding person and has always been slow to anger, thankfully. I figured, I would give him my teacher's note, tell him what happened, and then maybe be sent to bed a little early for being rude to Bella. However, when I came home with a bruised nose and showed my father the note explaining my "transgressions", he was far from understanding.
When he first saw my nose, he sighed, asking what foolish stunt I had pulled this time. Being slightly taken back by his harsh words, I handed him the note not saying a word. As my father read the not-so-accurate account of my "crime", his jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed into a fierce scowl.
"Really Edward?" He hissed. "Why do you insist on dictating every moment of Isabella's life?!" My eyes widened. Wasn't he going to ask what happened, why things turned out as they did? Wasn't he going to pull me into his lap and hold me while he made my nose feel better? Wasn't he going to listen to my side of the story?
No. He didn't care. He didn't care that my best friend had hurt and betrayed me, he didn't care that I had been mocked by Mike Newton for the whole day, he didn't care that I had been unjustly spanked and humiliated for something I didn't do, and he didn't care that I was about to burst into tears at any moment.
"B-but daddy. I wasn't trying to c-control her. She wanted us to play with Mike, and I didn't want to because he's a bully. She started calling me n-names and I just told her she was being mean and that Mike w-would be a bad friend." I tried to defend myself, sniffling every now and then. I may have downplayed calling Bella a jerk a little bit.
My father glared at me. "Don't make excuses Edward. We both know that you can't stand it when Bella does something you don't like. Honestly, this Mike Newton is probably a better friend to her then you are!" A loud sob broke through my lips as I stared at my father in disbelief. How could he say something like that! Carlisle closed his eyes, guilt washing over his face briefly. He looked up at me and sighed. "Let's just get this over with. Come here." He grabbed my wrist, pulling me over to his side. I panicked, knowing what he intended to do. I already got paddled today for something that wasn't my fault, wasn't that enough? He yanked me over his left knee before delivering ten powerful, unforgiving swats to my vulnerable backside.
I screamed. I screamed bloody murder and he still didn't let up. Powerful sobs shook my body as I lay over my father's ha knee. It hurt my backside and my heart. I felt betrayed and abandoned. My own father, the one person I could always count on to listen and protect me had cast me aside, not once considering what I had to say.
When my spanking was done, Carlisle stood me back up then pointed to the stairs. "Go upstairs. I don't want to see or hear you for the rest of the evening." I stood there, shocked. "D-daddy?"
"Don't 'daddy' me Edward. Get your ass upstairs before I turn it over my knee again!" I quickly ran up the stairs, sobbing loudly. He never swore at me! He never threatened me! My dad hated spanking me. He had only done it on two other occasions.
I ended up tripping on the steps and tumbled down to the floor below. Carlisle was out of his seat in an instant, crouching in front of me. Before he could say a word, I clutched my right knee, which had been scraped and was now bleeding, and began crying louder.
I thought I would be pulled into a gentle hug. I thought my father would speak to me soothingly and take care of me with the love he always did. But, instead of loving, gentle care, I got,
"STUPID BOY!" He jumped away from me as if he had been burned. "How many times have I told you, do not run on the stairs?! I've told you a thousand times how dangerous it is and look!" He shouted pointing at my bloody knee. "Look what you've done to yourself! Get upstairs. NOW!" Again I made way upstairs, running, despite the yells that followed me. I ran to my room and threw myself on my bed. My father hated me! He hated me!
I sat on the floor in front of the steps listening to the heartbreaking cries of my baby boy. Broken words drifted from his room. "He hates me." He sobbed over and over. I was disgusted with myself; I deserved Hell for what I had just done. No, I deserved worse than Hell. I had hurt him, scared him, and probably destroyed any trust he had in me in a matter of minutes. I just…I can't even…I hate myself.
This is my fault. I would never treat him like this, but I'm just so damn thirsty! I haven't hunted in over two months! I feel like I'm burning on the inside, like I'm going crazy. Anytime I'm near a human all I can think about is biting into them and letting their warm, savory blood melting in my mouth, filling me until I couldn't drink anymore.
No! Damn it! No! I don't get like this. I don't let this happen! Ever. And yet, here I am craving what I've repressed for centuries.
Why have I gone so long without hunting you may ask? Well, like an idiot I thought I was fine. I've been very busy at work, about a month and a half ago there was a train derailing. Hundreds killed, even more injured. It took several days just to stabilize as many of the patients as we could. It took weeks before they were completely out of danger. I barely left the hospital.
Edward had been such a good boy. I only saw him twice a day; in the morning when he went off to school and in the evening, I tucked him into bed. I had our next door neighbor, Mrs. Disher, come and watch him while I was away. She's a sweet lady.
I knew he wished that I would be home more, but he never complained. He even told me how proud he was that his dad was saving so many people. I didn't have time to hunt during this time. It's happened before, I get caught up in my work and I don't eat for a while. It only last a few weeks though. This lasted longer. And unfortunately, that wasn't the only distraction.
Earlier this month some rouge vampire began hunting on the outskirts of the city, every now and then venturing into different neighborhoods and stealing someone from their home. I noticed after the first victim was found. The other doctors waved it off as an animal attack, but I could see it clearly. Clean bite marks on the victims' neck and wrists. They all had them. The bodies were purposely torn apart though.
Most vampire attacks are clean, we're fast and neat, we don't like wearing our meals. Most vampires, if they are smart, mangle the body before leaving it behind to make it look like an animal attack.
I refused to leave Edward then, not for a minute. I took him with me everywhere I went. I told him I was making for staying at the hospital so much. I don't think I've seen a nine year old who wants to kill someone so badly. He complained. Goodness, did he complain. I thought my ears would start bleeding.
The Volturi came and took care of that vampire earlier this week. He drew too much attention to himself and they couldn't risk letting him live. Another reason not to leave Edward alone. Thankfully they didn't stop for a visit.
And I admit I've been more irritable the past few weeks. Part of it had to do with worrying about that vampire trying to steal my child from me. Part of it was from the stress of work. Another part was learning Esme Platt, a young woman who I may have fallen in love with, was getting married.
She was so young and had so much to live for; watching her be tied down to that wretch Charles Evenson sickened me. So maybe I was a bit heartbroken. Adding that to my hunger did nothing to improve my mood.
I was planning on hunting tonight after Edward went to bed. But then, well, you saw what happened. I lost control. I know Edward can be a bit controlling with Bella, but I know the opposite is true too. So many times Bella has manipulated him into doing things he doesn't want to do or knows he shouldn't. I know she is no angel, like most kids she can be a little devil at times.
But today, all I saw was what that note said. My son had been bullying the new kid and his best friend as well. At least, that's what the teacher said. I've never punished Edward without hearing his side first. Kids lie, goodness knows I've caught Edward in a fib more than once. But he always tells me the truth eventually and I can always tell when he's lying. He wasn't lying today when he told me it wasn't all his fault.
I didn't care. I was mad and I let my anger control me. I abused my son today. I hit him out of anger. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him scared. For a moment the fog cleared from my head and I could hear his screams. I sent him to his room, scared by what I had done. He ran, running from me. Running from me, the person who is supposed to protect him.
I failed her. I failed Elizabeth. I promised, promised to keep him safe, promised to protect him and I failed! Her dying words, her dying words rang in my head.
"'Protect…him.' 'Keep him…safe. Don't…let…Don't let my baby…please.'"
I'm sorry Elizabeth Mason. I'm so, so sorry! I hurt you son, my son. Your baby. Our treasure. I feel sick.
And then he fell.
He cut his knee. In that moment, I was consumed by thoughts of sinking my teeth into Edward's fragile neck. Of drinking him dry, gulping down mouthfuls of hot, sweet blood.
NO! NO, NO, NOOOO! I have never thought of drinking from my child, even on my worst days! The thoughts that polluted my mind disgust me! So many ways to kill him, so much blood to be had. I was terrified to be near him. I couldn't risk hurting him, killing him! I sent him away, screaming insults at him, making him think that I…hated him.
Like I said before, I deserved the worst damnation possible.
So here I sit, slumped on the floor, weeping silently. My child's heart is broken. He came in search of his father today, for love and comfort. He got nothing but an abuser.
I needed to hunt, to get control of myself so I could fix this. But first I needed to make Edward understand, I could never hate him. Foolish, yes, but I had to do it.
He wasn't sobbing anymore, just sniffling with an occasional hiccup. I glanced at the clock, it was around 5 o'clock. Funny how time flies when you're miserable. A soft growling from upstairs informed me of Edward's hunger. I got up slowly, suddenly feeling very old, and went to the kitchen to make Edward dinner.
I made one of his favorites, Macaroni and cheese with pieces of meat mixed in. I gave him a large helping and poured him a glass of milk before heading upstairs. I took a few deep breaths, making sure I was in control. Balancing the bowl and the cup on one arm I knocked softly at his door. After a soft, "come in" I ventured further.
Edward lay on his bed, face down. His tear stained face was half hidden by his pillow as he stared at me. I gave a weak smile to my poor miserable boy. I set his meal down on his desk before making my way toward him. I reached out for him. He flinched. My heart broke. I gently ran a hand threw his hair. He seemed wary at first but soon he was leaning into my touch.
"How you feeling bud?"
He gave me an odd look, probably thinking 'Are you serious? How do think I feel moron!' But he simple answered.
"I'm ok. M-my bottom hurts a little."
I knelt in front of him, making sure he could see my face. "Edward, I'm sorry son. I never should have acted that way. I never should have spanked you. I am so, so, sorry. What I did was unacceptable and I hope one day you can forgive me." His green eyes stared into mine, he looked confused.
"Sir?" Oh kill me. "You don't hate me?"
"No. Never. I could never hate you Edward. You are my son, my child, my baby. I love you so much. I love you more than life itself. I never want you to doubt how much I love you and I would do anything to take back what I did."
"But you were so mad at me. You didn't listen. You always listen. Even when I'm really bad, you never get mad. Not that mad." His voice was so quiet I could barely hear. "I didn't mean to be bad. Really I didn't. But M-Mike was being s-so mean!" A sob shook his small body. "H-he…he kept calling me names and t-tried to p-pull down my pants. And B-B-Bella let him! She said I deserved it!" He began wailing. I reached down to scoop him up, he jerked back, terrified.
"NO! No Daddy, please! I'll be good, I swear I'll be good! Please, don't spank me again!" I fell to my knees, wanting to cry myself. "Baby, baby please. Daddy's sorry, sorry, sorry! I love you so much Edward! You need to believe that. You never have to forgive me, but please, please know that I love you and I could never stop!" I begged, praying he would believe me.
Edward stared at me again, his eyes swimming in tears. Slowly, one of his small hands reached out for mine. I quickly took it, kissing his knuckles softly. "Daddy, I love you too. And…I forgive you." Praise the Lord! I quickly drew him into my arms. At nine he was still small for his age so I could easily set him to rest on my hip as I held him. "Daddy loves you son. Daddy loves you so much." I kept chanting my love as I showered his tear stained face with kisses.
I held him for a while, until his stomach announced its disapproval. "Sounds like someone is hungry." I murmured into his hair. He gave a small nod, his head turning toward his desk, eyeing the food hungrily. I began to lower him down to the chair so he could sit, but he clung to me.
"Please dad. Don't let go. Not yet."
I sat in the chair with him on my lap. I ended up feeding him. He was so tired, no wonder after the day he had.
After he was finished, I dressed him for bed and tucked him in. Edward let out a soft giggle as I kissed the tip of his nose. "Dad, stop! I'm too old for kisses." I was a little taken back, I thought he would still be acting gloomy.
"Who on earth told you that?" I asked as I planted another kiss on his forehead and another on his cheek. "Didn't you know you are never too old to be your daddy's baby?"
"I can too be too old!"
"When I'm as old as you I'll be too old!" I laughed, happy to see my son smile again.
"Even when you're 1001, you will still be my baby mister." I gave his head one last kiss before turning down the light. :Goodnight sweetheart. Remember, I love you."
"Love you to dad." He mumbled sleepily. I smiled fondly at him before leaving the room. I let out a breath. My son knew I loved him and I didn't lose control. Now I could go and hunt and all this would be put behind us. I waited a few more minutes to make sure Edward really fell asleep. Then I quietly snuck out the back door and headed to the woods.
I lay in bed dozing. I was so tired, but something kept nagging me. I was so happy my father still loved me, I believed him when he said he regretted what he did, but something still bugged me. Why was he so angry? It was like he was a different person. Oh well. I settled down for the night snuggling down into my covers. I was about to fall asleep when I heard a soft noise.
It sounded like the back door opening. I snuck to my window and looked out. My father stood in the backyard and then, he was gone. I gasped. I didn't understand. One minute he was there and the next he was gone! Like a blur, like he was running too fast for me to see.
I ran downstairs. I don't know what possessed me to go outside but I did. I stood in the back yard, scanning the area around me. I saw him, at the edge of the woods. At least I think it was him, it was hard to see. I don't know why, but I started running, running toward the woods. I wanted to know what was going on, why my dad was acting the way he did.
I finally reached to woods, my bare feet slapping against the wet evening ground. It was getting so dark, but I kept going. I wasn't thinking, I just kept going. It felt like I had walked for hours before my excitement ran out. Suddenly, I realized just how dark it was and how far I had went. Every sound seemed magnified.
Suddenly, there was a loud thundering noise that came from the ground. It became louder, and louder. A large heard of deer came bursting through the trees. I almost shrieked, they nearly trampled me. Then, there was another noise. Something very fast ran past me, I barely knew it happened. I was watching the deer when suddenly, one fell. Something was on top of it. The creature huddled over the fallen deer, a weird slurping sound coming from it.
I watched in horror, every scary story I had ever been told running through my head. I felt like I was about to cry as the creature stood. It…it looked human. I stepped back, a twig snapped. The creature turned. I screamed.
Yellow eyes, wide, horrified eyes stared at me in disbelief. "No…" He murmured. I nearly screamed again. Instead I stared back, taking it all in. My eyes settled on the blood stained mouth. "No…Edward." He groaned as if in pain. I met his eyes again.
"Dad?" I whispered. "What are you?"
(To be continued…)
My fingers kind of hurt. I hope you all found this interesting. I'll try to get the next chapter up in a week or so, if anyone likes this story that is. I hope I didn't ruin it. Review please!