BADASSIUM

To: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

From: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

Re.: New Element

Dear Mr. Stark,

We, at the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry, are very enthusiastic with your discovery of a new element and glad that you decided to propose it for a new entry on the periodic table.

We, however, think you should reconsider your proposed name for the element as it is not acceptable by IUPAC standards.

Sincerely,

Jon Whedon

Element Entry Submission Manager


To: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

From: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

Re.: Badassium

Dear Mr. Whedon,

I honestly don't see the problem with Badassium.

It seems to me like a very appropriate name for the element as it was discovered in a badass way, it does badass things, it powers up my badass armor, and its all-in-all badass.

I sincerely hope you reconsider your decision and allow my element to have the badass name it deserves.

Sincerely,

Tony Stark

Former CEO of Stark Industries

Current Iron Man


To: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

From: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

Re.: Re.: Badassium

Dear Mr. Stark,

I'm sorry, but Badassium is simply unacceptable.

Wouldn't you rather have it named it after you? We think Starkium is an appropriate name.

We await your response.

Sincerely,

Jon Whedon

Element Entry Submission Manager


To: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

From: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

Re.: Lame

Dear Mr. Whedon,

I'm sorry, but Starkium is lame.

Next, you're gonna suggest it to be named Ironmannium or Tonium.

Also, Badassium is already named after me, as I am, truly, very badass.

I stand by my original name.

Sincerely,

Tony Stark

Former CEO of Stark Industries

Current Badass


To: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

From: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

Re.: Re.: Lame

Dear Mr. Stark,

Please, cooperate with us.

You can clearly see why Badassium is not acceptable, so would you please reconsider?

Sincerely,

Jon Whedon

Element Entry Submission Manager


To: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

From: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

Re.: PC is BS

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Is it because of the "ass"?

If it is, I'm calling bullshit, because there are a lot of elements with "ass" in the name.

If you still think Badassium is not good, then I suggest Awesominnum.

There's no way any parent groups will get upset with that.

Sincerely,

Tony Stark

Former CEO of Stark Industries

Current Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist

Former Playboy

Currently In a Relationship


To: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

From: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

Re.: Re.: PC is BS

Dear Mr. Stark,

Both names are unacceptable.

I'm sorry, but you seem to not be taking this seriously.

We're gonna give you one last chance to give it a serious name, or else we're naming it ourselves.

Sincerely,

Jon Whedon

Element Entry Submission Manager


To: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

From: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

Re.: Homage

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Can I name it after someone else besides me?

Sincerely,

Tony Stark

Former CEO of Stark Industries

Former Avengers Material

Current Consultant


To: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

From: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

Re.: Re.: Homage

Dear Mr. Stark,

Yes, you can.

We're looking forward for your answer.

Sincerely,

Jon Whedon

Element Entry Submission Manager


To: Jon Whedon jw at iupacdotcom

From: Tony Stark stark at starkindustriesdotcom

Re.: Pepper is Badass

Dear Mr. Whedon,

How about Pepperpottassium?

Sincerely,

Tony Stark

Former CEO of Stark Industries

Still a Badass


Are you sure you want to add "stark at starkindustriesdotcom" to your Spam filter?

THE END


Author's Notes: This fic came to me after reading The Avengers prelude: "Fury's Big Week", in which Nick Fury tells Professor Selvig that tony was having problems naming his new element "Badassium".

Reviews are appreciated. Please, point any mistakes of my part, so I can do better next time.

Also, bonus points to whoever guess the two people I named the IUPAC manager after.