Disclaimer: I own only my imagination. Nothing more, nothing less.
A/N: This is a ridiculous one-shot set sometime between JJ joining the BAU and the start of the show. It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's basically the prequel of a scene from my fic "What Would I Do Without You," but you don't need to have read that to get this.
After a particularly long evening of sifting through case and suspect details, the BAU headed to the hotel for the night, each member retreating to their respective rooms.
Minutes later, however, JJ exited her room to go for a run.
Though it seemed like a stupid idea from the start, her brain was overrun with images of brutalized children, sobbing families, and the demanding press, and she wasn't quite ready to face the impending sleeplessness, or worse, nightmares.
JJ had been running for a little more than an hour when a patrol car pulled up along side her.
"Can I help you, officer?" JJ asked as she slowed to a stop.
"It's after curfew, young lady. You should be at home or even in bed for the night," the officer said, stepping out of the car.
"Don't play games with me, young lady. Curfew's at midnight, and oh my, look at the time, it's 12:30."
Starting to laugh, JJ tried to explain, "Hold on. My name's Jennifer Jareau, and I'm the media liaison with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. My team was asked to come help with the big pedophile case. It's been a rough night, and I'm just trying to blow off some steam."
Unimpressed by her 'story', the officer said, "Nice try, young lady. Impersonating a federal agent is a worse crime than breaking curfew. And trying to use those poor victimized children as an excuse? Now that's just low. Come with me, young lady. I'm taking you home."
JJ began to back away from the officer.
"Stop 'young lady'-ing me, and no, I won't go with you. I'm just going to run back to the hotel now," she responded to the officer, and then muttered to herself, "Damn, why didn't I bring my ID and credentials?"
"Can I get my one phone call now?" a disgruntled JJ asked from the backseat.
Having stubbornly given no home address (how would an address in a state hundreds of miles away help?), she was being driven to the precinct.
Glancing at her in the rearview mirror, the officer replied, "That depends. Are you going to behave?"
JJ rolled her eyes. "Yes, officer."
Hotch was awoken by his ringing cell phone, and he felt an intense desire to shoot either the phone or the person calling him.
Reaching for his phone, he glanced at the display but didn't recognize the phone number. Figuring the call to be case related, he finally accepted the call. "Hello?"
"Hey, Hotch. It's me, JJ."
Suddenly very alert, Hotch sat up. "JJ? Has another body been found?"
"Umm… no. At least, not that I know of."
To Hotch's ears, JJ sounded very sheepish.
"Then what is going on that you felt the need to call me at this time of night?"
"Erm, I've been… Hotch, I… I'vebeenarrested."
Wondering if his ears had deceived him, Hotch asked, "What?"
"I'vebnrested," came the quick reply.
"JJ, you're going to have to speak slower. My ears are still waking up, and I can't quite catch what you're saying."
Hotch heard a sigh. "I've been arrested, Hotch."
"What?" Hotch exclaimed. "Why?"
"Well technically I'm being taken to the precinct… for breaking curfew." Hotch could practically hear JJ roll her eyes.
"What?" The unit chief said again. None of this was making any sense. "What curfew?"
"Apparently, there's a curfew here. It's at midnight. Oh, and it's also for kids under eighteen."
Hotch was now convinced his brain hadn't waken up properly. "And how does this add up to you being arrested?"
"I went out to run after we got back to the hotel, and then this lovely officer" – and once again Hotch could hear JJ roll her eyes – "decided that such a 'young lady like me' isn't supposed to be out this late at night. It shouldn't have been a problem, except I left my ID and credentials in my hotel room."
"JJ, are you kidding me?"
"Of course not, Hotch. I have no desire to die quite yet."
"You're not under 18."
"I'm well aware of that, but unfortunately for me, this officer isn't. Ergo, I am now in his patrol car being driven to the precinct."
Despite being awoken at almost 1 AM, Hotch couldn't help but laugh. "I told Gideon we shouldn't hire someone so young."
"Thanks, Hotch. Really. You're being so helpful."
"So what do you need me to do?"
"Can you meet us at the precinct? Help straighten things out?"
Hotch looked out the window to the dark sky, thought about his warm bed, and finally decided. "Fine, but you owe me big time for this."
He made it to the precinct before JJ did.
As the patrol car pulled up, Hotch spotted his liaison in the back seat. With her baby blue pullover hoodie, lack of make-up, and childish pout, JJ looked almost… babyish.
"Officer," Hotch greeted as the two stepped out of the car. "I'm Aaron Hotchner, Jennifer's step-father."
Mortified, JJ exclaimed, "Hotch!"
Feeling like she deserved to be teased for unnecessarily yanking him out of bed at this ungodly hour, he ignored her and continued, "I do apologize for Jennifer's behavior, and I hope she hasn't given you too much trouble. She's been acting out ever since I began dating her mom."
JJ glared daggers at him from her position behind the officer.
"That's quite all right, Mr. Hotchner. I have the same problem with my step-daughter. I'll let her off this time, but do try to keep a closer eye on her."
Hotch nodded somberly, fighting hard to suppress a smile. "I'll do my best."
The officer shook his hand then addressed JJ, "Get some sleep, young lady."
"Since when was my mom your mistress?" JJ grumbled after the officer left.
Hotch smirked. "Ever since you woke me up."
JJ closed her eyes and let her head drop in embarrassment. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"
"Don't worry. This is just between you and me."
JJ's head snapped up, and she eyed him suspiciously. "Seriously?"
Hotch smiled sadistically. "It's always nice to have some leverage."
Thanks for reading!