School Hard

Spike and his vamp-cronies bombard the school as-per the episode, but Buffy and her newly-vamped best friends are there too, and they're going to have some serious fun.

"Hey, guys, look what Spike dragged in, she's supposed to be helping high school me set up for parent teacher night. Not anymore." Buffy grinned, indicating for Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya to come into Drusilla's bedroom. "She's cute."

"N-nerds?" Sheila stared at Willow and Xander with open mouths.

"Oh I remember her!" Willow laughed, "God, long time no see Sheila." Willow turned to Tara, "she was the high school pot-head-scary-violent one," she explained.

"Oh, she's sweet…" Tara circled Sheila's bound form. The girl began to struggle against the bindings.

"That's pointless," Anya said calmly. "Buffy is good at tying knots."

"B-Buffy?" Sheila looked confused. "It's this crazy nutbag that tied me up!" Sheila kicked out at Drusilla's form.

"That is Buffy," Anya said in a bored voice. "There was a whole thing with a resurrection spell going kablooey… sent Buffy back in time four years to Drusilla's body… just dropped us four in the wrong timezone, though Buffy sired us and now we're soul-lacking and.. yeah. Big magic thing."

"W-what are you g-gonna do to me?" Sheila asked in a small voice.

"See, I'm kinda hungry… but I figured I'd make sure you're nice and tender before I eat you," Buffy grinned.

"E-eat me? What the fuck! What the hell is going on?! Nerds – uh, Willow and Xander, gimme a hand will you?"

Tara reached into her cleavage, withdrawing a tiny pen-knife with a razor-like blade. Willow's face slowly split in a horrific smile. She plucked the knife from Tara's hand and strolled forward slowly, holding the knife in front of her. Sheila paled. Willow reached out slowly, then brought the knife down in a long, smooth movement. Sheila screamed… then stopped. Willow had cut through the restraints binding her ankles.

"Oh thank God…" Sheila said, already beginning to struggle with the ties on her hands. Buffy frowned at Willow.

"What?" Willow shrugged. "It's no fun if they can't kick back a little."

Buffy raised her hand, examining her kinda-cool-but-in-a-psychotic-way manicure, then used it to pop every button on Sheila's shirt. She elevated her index finger, and pushed the nail deeply into the taut flesh of Sheila's bare abdomen, leaving a bloody half-moon shaped cut, before stepping away.

"Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya… do what you like. But just remember, she's only you're entrée. Give Spike an hour, then we're going back to high school."

Buffy retreated slowly from the room, grinning as she heard the screaming begin. It was like a symphony.


God, what had she been thinking? That haircut! EUGH. Buffy shook her head, staring at her high-school self through the little gap in the door.

Jeeze, what was with her? Willow stared, dumbstruck, watching herself fawning over Xander. Sure, he was kinda yummy… but a soul? Gross. The only things souls are any good for are corrupting.

Yuck! She could quite happily sink her fangs into that neck. Tara was itching with jealousy, watching Xander oogle her (admittedly soulful and…fuzzy girl). No way, no one with a soul should be within an mile of her girl.

Yum. She'd totally go for that threesome. Though, admittedly Anya would probably prefer to have sex with the more grown up and uh, vampy, version of Xander and Willow.

Sex. Xander finally figured out the second thing that fuelled the actions of every vampire. Blood and sex. Every single thing a vampire did was seeking out one of those two things. And that sounded like a pretty darn good life.

Buffy had brought her newly sired children to the school, watching from the shadows, looking as the high school versions of all of them giggled, loose, free…unburdened. It was precious really. All of a sudden, there was a massive crash and dozens of vampires spilled into the school. High-school Buffy grabbed Principal Snyder some other parents and her mother, all of them running.

"No one gets out!" Spike cried, an almost casual lilt in his stride. "Especially the girl!"

Buffy shuddered, staring in awe from her hiding spot. Spike really was kinda sexy. Especially when he was big-time authority guy… And suddenly she could see the other her and her mother running straight in their direction. Buffy pressed Drusilla's frail form further back into the niche, looking back over her shoulder to shush Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya. But they were kinda… not there.

"Shit!" Buffy hissed, sliding back into the classroom and running back, hunting for her new charges. Damn, she still had a fair bit to learn about being a vampire… like how long new ones could go without food. Oops.


"Hey," Vamp-Willow grinned, wrapping her hands around Xander's waist, "wanna play a game?"

"W-will?" He gawked, "Wow, makeover… uh… again with the wow…" he shook his head. "But this is probably not the best time for uh, games…" His childhood best friend all… leathery. In a good way. In a-a cleavage way.

"Aw, no fun!" She hissed, pressing her tongue against his ear. Her breath was hot and moist, smelling of something faintly sweet and musky. "He doesn't want to play," Willow whined, turning to face Tara who'd drawn up silently next to them.

"W-wow!" Xander stared at the girl who'd appeared with Willow. She was incredibly beautiful, golden hair to her back, a sheer, gossamer-like black top and red leather pants displaying long, toned legs.

"Buffy's looking for us, love," the girl murmured, "leave him."

Willow laced her hand with the girl's, before giving Xander a lingering glance and running off.

"What the lacy-bodice just happened?"


"It's been so long," Vamp-Willow said with a reminiscent smile, "since high school. I look at me, all fuzzy and nervous… where'd that girl go?"

Vamp-Tara laughed, low and dangerous, "I'm pretty sure she went the same place as your soul." Without even a sideways glance, she reached out, grabbing a passing student by the neck.

"You're pretty," she observed, before giving the girl a malevolent grin and sinking her fangs deeply.

"Hey," Willow whined, "share!"

"Anything for you, my love," Tara reared her head, eyes yellow and mouth covered in sweet, ruby blood, tossing the body to Willow. It flopped as easily as a ragdoll.


"All this blood is making me want to have sex," Vamp-Anya let her third high-schooler drop to the floor, wiping her mouth clean.

"Ahn, everything makes you want to have sex."

"Good point." Anya grabbed her lover around the waist, tugging him in close for a kiss… she could still feel warm blood in his mouth.


"Damn body," Buffy muttered, extending a skeletal arm. "I forgot how weak Dru was when she and Spike first came to town."

"Drusilla!" Spike cried. "Pet, you shouldn't be here!"

"Why not, Spikey?" Buffy let her tone heighten, becoming more childlike.

"You're weak, luv…" He pressed his lips to hers. She could taste blood. "Please, just go home!"

Busted. Buffy shimmied in Spike's grip. Hey, if she couldn't use her patent-Buffy-pout to wheedle her way out of this situation, she could still sure as hell use her not-so-patent-more-general-knowledge-hip-grinding moves to a bring Spike 'up' to her point of view. She pressed her pelvis against his, grinding hard and raking her psychotically-manicured nails down his (how did she always forget how ripped he was?) sculpted chest.

"Pet…" he groaned breathily. "C'mon… I'm gonna kill the slayer and as soon as I'm done you can have me any way you want," his words came out in an aroused hiss. "Please just… ARGH," he shoved her hard, pushing her against the wall and stalking away.

"Uh oh," Buffy stage whispered, "daddy's angry."

Spike let loose a primal snarl from deep in his throat, and in a flash he had her pinned by the neck up against the wall. She could do nothing but giggle. This was kinda hot.

"Daddy," he hissed, "is going to bring you back the blood of a slayer." He dropped her to the ground, and in an instant, he was gone.


"Do you think I confused the colourful Xander?" Vamp-Willow her vampiric girlfriend.

"The colourful Xander?" Tara questioned, passing the sweet blood of a younger student from her lips to Willow's in a dainty kiss.

"You know, the one in the colourful clothes… the one with a soul. In high school."

Tara chuckled. "Sweetie, I think you sent him into quite the spin."

Willow smiled proudly. "I'm glad. I want him to go home tonight, thinking about me. Wondering how sweet," Willow pushed Tara down onto a chair, "innocent," she threw one leg over Tara's, "fuzzy," she sat on Tara's lap, pulling in close with a lecherous grin, "me," she planted a burning, bloody kiss on Tara's plasma-stained lips, "could possibly be so… what's the word?"

"Hot?"

"Mmm-hmm," Willow pressed her hips into Tara's, setting up a quick grinding motion, "hot."


Buffy-the-vampire strolled through the hallways. They were nearly empty now, well. At least, void of life. Every now and again, there'd be a dead body on the floor. She could hear students, parents, teachers, all hidden in classrooms, but the earlier mass hysteria was over. Now the only life came from Spike and the few remaining cronies that saint-Buffy hadn't staked.