OK this is my first Ashes story hope you enjoy it. its basically a idea taken from the tv series teachers that was on years ago and if you haven't seen it i suggest you do it is hilarious and brilliantly written, but enough of that just read and enjoy!


MR. Gene Hunt, a teacher of English language and literature, always well presented with his smart suits and clean shirts, a full example of men as he thought of himself, stumbled into his classroom full of pupils screaming over each other and shouting.

"Well children how are we all today?" he asks sarcastically, "good weekend sir?" Charlotte Smith pipes up with a smile. "Very good thank you charlotte, work Friday, marking Saturday, birthday yesterday." Everyone started laughing and screaming again as one boy called Jamie who sat at the front all the time said "happy birthday sir!"

"Thank you very much, now let's get on with the lesson shall we?" Gene replied as he turned to the blackboard.

Teddy Johnson suddenly shouted "so c'mon then sir, how old" "none of your business" he said with a smile that showed he wasn't being mean to Teddy and his B* grades.

"So how were peoples weekends anything I shouldn't know?" Gene asked, then Laura Daniels shouted "well my mum said she give you one" as everyone wooed and whistled at Gene then he replied "unfortunately I have never met your mother, Laura" as Natalie Daniels who sat next to Laura said "yes you have, she winked at you on Thursday after school" Gene was suddenly shocked "you're mother!" The two girls nodded in unison, "that was your mother?" "yeah and she's single' if your interested?" Laura said with a wide smile to her teacher, "well nice as your mother is I am taken" replied Gene, suddenly the whole class wooed again and laughed "then why aren't you married?" Natalie asked "I'm far too young" said gene as the whole class roared into even more laughter. "Why am I even telling you this, lets get some work done" Gene said as he started to write on the blackboard.


Gene entered the staffroom for lunch after teaching pointless pupils who don't want to learn, he was starting to realize that maybe this wasn't the best job after ten years of education in this school. Suddenly, Mr Ray Carling, a teacher of P.E and wood technology, entered with his best friend, Mr Chris Skelton, a teacher of I.T, they started walking towards Gene. "yer alright boys?" he asked "not really we lost the football match against Miss Garrets team" said Ray "you an that Jane Garrets, you wanna get in there before it's too late" Gene suggested as Chris piped up "it's exactly what I said to him" he looked at Ray as he looked at Gene with confusion "I thought you liked her?" "no I don't, I've got lizzie" he replied, "oh yeah how's all that goin'?" Chris asked, Gene replied with a fake smile "great, it's all goin' well"

If Gene was honest, his relationship with Lizzie wasn't going well, they were constantly having arguments and there wasn't any joy in the old sex department anymore either, he often wondered why he was in the relationship with her. Part of him just wanted to be free of everything in his life, relationships work everything and just be peaceful but what would he do after that. Suddenly the bell went for the next lesson. Gene sighed "oh well, back to the lovely little creatures'"


Gene strolled down the corridor as three young boys ran past him when he heard a strong feminine voice "WE DON'T RUN IN CORRIDORS WE WALK IN CORRIDORS!" As the boys stopped and said in unison "sorry miss Drake."

Gene suddenly turned round; there she was, Miss Alex Drake or Sex on Legs as he liked to call her a teacher of English language and literature like him, god, he could never get over how beautiful she was, if only she had a beautiful personality instead of being cold and stiff like she was with the pupils but somehow he found it very sexy. She was wearing a low cut lilac blouse with a cream skirt on and at the bottom of her endless creamy legs was a pair of nude heals. Her hair was brunette and shiny with some short bits of her hair flicked out with a fringe, he couldn't deny it, Alex Drake was a piece of heaven…..till she opened her mouth.

"Did you have a good weekend Miss Drake?" He asked hopefully, "good thank you Mr Hunt and you?" she asked but before he could answer she suddenly spoke again "oh no don't tell me pub, girlfriend, shag, girlfriend, pub, shag. The weekend of a misogynistic man" she said forcing a smile at him then her face went miserable again as she went into her classroom as he watched her go. Ray suddenly walked past him then stopped as he caught Gene looking at Alex as she teached her class. "So how's sex on legs this morning" he asked him, "miserable and uptight, as the bitch always is" he sighed as ray said "great arse though" as he power walked off into the playground and Gene went into his classroom still thinking about Alex's arse.


Gene, ray and Chris sat drinking there pints and talking about the usual things like sex, women and football. "So, my head on shaz's body?" Gene asked ray "oh god, no way that's just too weird, if I had to do it, it would be from behind" said ray as they both laughed. Chris said loudly "oi that's my girlfriends arse your talkin' about" "sorry mate" said Ray, then Miss Sharon Granger, a teacher of art and dance, strolled in and sat next to Chris and kissed him. "you alright baby?" Shaz asked as Gene and Ray rolled there eyes at each other. "smashin', I was just leavin' wanna come round to mine?" he asked her as she sat on his knee with her arms around his neck "yes please" she said and slowly and tenderly kissed him on the lips.

"Oh get a room!" Ray said across the table as they started to leave.

Six hours later there was just Gene and Ray, very, very drunk. "Ok, what about Lizzie dressed in a nurse's uniform with no knickers on and yooouuuu have to shag her in a hospital or shag sex on legs in her classroom with the door not locked so anyone could come in. who would you pick?" Ray asked as Gene looked at his pint in thought "can't believe your askin' me tha', Lizzie everytiiimmee!"

Even though in Gene's head he was thinking about shagging Alex so hard on the desk that she would be screaming with pleasure until the legs of the desk would brake.

"yeah buuuttt, think about it, sex with Alex would be a dream come true, do you think she's still miserable when she gets an orgasm or dya think she cracks a smile?" Ray wonder but Gene didn't want to think about it so he finished his pint and stumbled out of the pub leaving ray behind. "Don't say bye will yerrrr" as he sat there miserable until he clocked eyes with a blonde and wandered over to her and bought her a drink, his evening was going to be a promising one.


He knocked on the door. And it was opened to reveal Lizzie the nurse, blonde, busty and gorgeous. "'ello love" Gene said as he stumbled in and kissed her passionately. "what's brought this on?" she asked as he looked into her eyes, blue very nice but he somehow wished they were like hazel like….Alex then he shook his head forcing himself not to think about her. "Well I'm horny and I want you so badly, soooo….." He picked her up of the ground and staggered towards the bedroom as they both collapsed on the bed, slowly undressing each other as they kissed; they had sex all through the night. Lizzie was having it with Gene but Gene was having it with Alex.