A/N: This was requested by IggySwitzy a looong time ago and, well, it took a looong time to complete. xD

Under normal circumstances, one would not have to deal with being the romantic object of their own brother. Under normal circumstances, said brother wouldn't attempt to climb into the other one's bed every night, naked, drunk, and horny. Under normal circumstances, two brothers wouldn't be forcefully making out against the kitchen counter.

Well, Germany would be damned if his brother was ever considered "normal."

Rewinding to a few hours prior, Germany had been attending to his usual daily activities - he was gardening, in other words - and had just finished pruning his rose bush when Prussia decided to pay him a visit. Of course, in Prussia-speak, "paying someone a visit" usually entailed one of two things: A) He wanted money, or B) He intended to plunder some vital regions. (Granted, from Canada he never seemed to want anything but pancakes.) So, naturally, the first thing Germany asked his elder brother once the fiery nation stepped into his line of vision was, "How much do you want?"

He really had not anticipated "Every inch of it," to be the response.

"Pardon?" Germany asked, standing from the dirt and rubbing his dusty hands on the legs of his jeans.

"Nice denim, West," Prussia commented offhandedly.

"Um, danke... But what were you-"

"Oh, right! I came over to ask you something."

"...Something. Right. You came over to ask for money again, and I asked 'How much?' and you said-"

"I wasn't asking for money, kesesese~"

Germany chastised himself silently for actually finding his brother's tone intriguing. "Then what?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie."


"I'm pretty damned horny right now."

Germany paled. "Excuse me?"

Prussia didn't reply. Instead, he looped his arms around his brother's neck, grinned cheekily, and dropped all his weight.

Now, Germany was strong and all, but - let the records show - Prussia was really heavy. Thus, Germany ended up on top of his brother on the ground, one knee propping himself up outside Prussia's hip, and the other nudged between his legs. "Prussia!" he yelled in annoyance.


"Why did you do that?"

"So I could do this." The elder brother, now pinned beneath the other in the compromising position they were in, leaned up so their noses touched.

Germany, for the moment, cursed being as pale as he was, for the blush creeping over his face was nothing if not obvious. "What..." He didn't have time to finish the sentence before Prussia tightened his arms around the man's neck and pulled himself up so that their lips collided.

A silent moment passed once he had pulled back, his usual smirk present on his face, whilst Germany simply laid there looking rather mortified. "You... Why... What?" he managed, his expression fading to something of an accusing stare.

"Exactly what it looked like, West!" Prussia dropped his arms and crossed them behind his head in the dirt.

Germany blinked and made a noise of hesitation. "What the hell was it for?"

"I told ya; I'm bored and horny, and you're currently Italy-less and therefore available."

For obvious reasons, the younger brother was having a bit of trouble processing this. "Well, where do you get off kissing your brother like that?" He was beginning to sound incredulous.

Prussia thought about it for all of two seconds. "Your kitchen's pretty spacey."

"What?" He was now back to stage one: Confusion.

"You asked me where I get off. Well, this isn't my house, so I really don't have a specific place, you know, but your kitchen-"

"Oh." That told Prussia that Germany had just gotten what he'd meant. That, and the fact that now he quite resembled England, with his indignant expression paired against the fiery blush on his cheeks. "That is not what I meant!"

Prussia flashed a grin. "I know, but still..."

"You're an idiot," the younger male stated monotonously, standing and pulling his brother up with him.

"Aww, so you're not going for it?"

"I never said that." Germany gave a tug on Prussia's wrist, carting him off towards his house. The latter acquired a very France-esque grin and murmured another low kesese to signal his victory.

And, fast-forwarding through a couple brief moments of idle chatter and various sex puns on Prussia's part, we are back to where we began.

Germany could feel the marks being pressed into the backs of his thighs thanks to his position against the counter, but he was paying little attention to that in favor of the flamboyant Prussian pressed flush against his frontside. Said Prussian could not seem to keep his curious hands (or tongue) at bay, though Germany certainly did not mind. Likewise, Prussia didn't mind the way his brother had a hand entangled in his hair, tugging slightly on the short white mess in a show of dominance. Cute, he thought, inwardly smirking. West thinks he can play leader.

Pulling away, the elder brother turned his internal expression out onto his face. "I think you forget that Italy is gone, so you aren't in charge."

Germany scoffed, tugging again on Prussia's hair with the hand Prussia had forgotten was there. "I think you forget who's stronger now."

"Ouch, West. What an insult."

"Don't pretend like your massive ego was even dented by such a comment."

Prussia laughed through his nose, placing his face barely two centimeters away from Germany's. "Please," he whispered, curling his fingers into the fabric of the blonde's shirt. "It wasn't even scuffed, let alone dented."

There came that intrigue again. "You do not believe I am stronger than you?"

"Why should I?" The smirk on the white-haired man's face was blatantly challenging.

"Because it is the truth."

"Nein. I'm stronger and more awesome!"

"L├╝gner." Germany crossed his arms. "Prove it."

Seemingly pleased with this request, the Prussian conceded, forcefully yanking at his brother's shirt and popping open the top three buttons.

"Hey!" the younger cried indignantly. "How is destroying my clothes proving anything?"

"Because, West." As if that explained it all; Germany mentally sighed. "I'm getting you naked." Uhm... "So I can fuck you." Oh. "And I will top." Wait, what? "Which means I'm stronger! Got it?"

Instead of a verbal response, the German only offered a wide-eyed look.

"Come on, don't tell me you thought you would top. I'm the awesome Prussia! You should be begging to get fucked by mein awesomeness."

"I did not think I would top you." Right as Prussia was about to reply, 'see, I knew you'd get it!', Germany continued. "I knew I would. I just find it strange you are still under the illusion that you are tougher than I am."

"C'mooon. This isn't a contest, bruder."

"Do not try to use the 'bruder' line on me. It won't work...this time."

"Aww, why not?"

"Because I am not letting you top."

Prussia's bottom lip poked out in a pout. "Bitte?"


"Well." Quickly, the elder's facial expression became blank. "You're a tough nut to crack."

Germany nodded. "Ja, and I suppose that means I won this petty disagreement?"

Prussia shrugged, "Sure thing."

"Look at you," the blonde began, smiling ever-so-slightly and wrapping his arms around his brother's waist. "You don't even care which way this goes."

The elder nation tried to pretend he wasn't blushing, but with how pale his skin was, it was senseless on his part to try and deny it. "Tch, I have France and Spain to bottom for me, I don't care if I don't top this once."

"Once? I think you're in for a surprise, then, liebe."

Amused by Prussia's answering shriek, Germany took the liberty of pulling him toward the bedroom. "Change of plan. We're going in here."


"We'll see who's tougher when I have you quivering beneath me, ja?"

And, suddenly, Prussia realized this may have been a very, very foolish thing of him to have asked for at all. Under normal circumstances, any prospect of getting pounded into the mattress by your younger brother did not give you a hard-on.

Then again, Prussia would be damned if he was ever considered normal.