This takes place directly after the events of "Break On Through". It's just a bit of naughty fluff that I wanted to get out of my system. It ain't much. It hasn't been betaed, so it's pretty rough.
Oh, and I don't own any of the TVD characters. I'm just borrowing them for a short while. But having dibs on Stefan sure would be nice. ;)
I'm Simply Not Able To Resist You
The breeze was cool as it drifted through the open window of Elena's bedroom. He stood just inside, hands fisted at his sides, body tense. Desire a violent threat to his composure as he watched her sleep.
This was a sinfully colossal mistake, his jaw tightening with the unwanted admission. But he'd been unable to stop himself, her affinity for him once again becoming ironclad as he'd reluctantly allowed the humanity free rein. Sometimes rational thought was just too hard to pursue. He'd really had no choice but to come. He was so tired. He had no wish to fight it any more. He wanted…needed to see her. After the previous day's success, he'd felt…good, like he'd made a great stride.
'I wasn't planning on giving up on either of you.'
He'd held fiercely to those words as he was confronted with the picture, and the tempting odor, of a bloodied Doctor Fell clinging to life as she sat on the bathroom floor of the Gilbert home. His struggle had been monumental…gut wrenching, but Elena's unwavering faith had helped him summon the power to resist the nearly overwhelming hunger. His ability to save the doctor's life had been more than a stride, it had been an unexpected, encouraging leap. One that had taken some time to sink in. One he almost hadn't permitted himself to comprehend.
But as he'd finally granted himself permission to accept and appreciate the move forward, he couldn't shake the feeling that something…someone was missing, that his victory was incomplete, his happiness somehow lacking. A bitter smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Nothing had changed. Everything was incomplete…hollow without her there to share it with him.
So here he stood. Helplessly drawn to the one woman he would love until his last day on earth. A hungry tension gripped him, need saturating his every muscle. He was afraid to move any closer, his resolve teetering on a razor thin edge.
Long ebony hair flowed over the pillow, her beautiful features relaxed in peaceful repose, her breathing slow, steady. Lovely, innocent, caring, selfless. God, how he loved her, how he craved her. His fingers rolled tighter as he did battle against the mesmerizing desire to reach out and touch her, pull her close, feel her supple softness against him, surrounding him.
I should be anywhere but here.
Closing his eyes, he worked to break the passionate spell floating around him, her luscious scent rushing through his system, holding him in place.
This isn't right. Turn around and leave.
But just as he began to muster the strength to back away, a hushed moan sounded from the bed. The slight increase in her heart rate told him she was on the verge of waking up. Now was the time. He could be gone in the blink of an eye, before she discovered him in her room, before he let this intrusion go any farther. She wouldn't want him here. Not now. Not like this.
His eyes shot open when he heard the rustling of the sheets. Frozen, he looked on with dread as she woke, a slow hand rising to wipe across a groggy eye. For a moment he thought she might roll over and go back to sleep without ever seeing him standing there. But that possibility was short lived when she quickly sat up in bed, visibly startled.
"Stefan?" Leaning toward the bedside table, Elena reached out and turned on the light.
The sudden flood of light blinded her, and she held a hand over her eyes for a second or two to allow her sight to adjust to the glare. Was she seeing things? Was Stefan really here or were her dreams starting to invade her reality? Her gentle, caring, passionate Stefan. The love of her life that she could not stop longing for, could not stop praying for.
However, in this reality he was none of those things. Not anymore. He had become hard, cold, brutal. She didn't like the shard of fear that clipped along her backbone, a profound sadness settling over her mind.
But as she lowered her shielding hand and looked on the unearthly beauty that was Stefan Salvatore, Elena once again faced the unyielding fact that she still loved him. After all that he'd done. She still carried him close. Fact was she'd never had any desire to deny or kill the love she held for him. Ever. He continued to reside in her soul, hover around her heart and shadow her thoughts. He was everywhere she turned. A rock solid reality she was convinced would never change.
Cold…brutal. Was he? Now?
Oh, she knew the beast was, and would always be, a part of him, settled just below the surface. But it no longer held him captive, no longer dictated his actions. After the care he'd shown Meredith, Elena refused to continue to buy into the unfeeling, out of control animal he tried to perpetuate. Even though she'd seen glimpses of the façade slipping away before yesterday, the act of control and compassion had solidified for her his want to return to his humanity. And she rejoiced in that desire.
Her earlier fear faded into the background as she stared up at Stefan. Slowly, she drank him in. Chiseled features, broad shoulders, strong arms, tight narrow waist, powerful long legs. One pass down. A second pass back up, and her inspection ended on his exquisite face, his mossy eyes intent on hers, a subtle hunger burning there. Gorgeous didn't begin to cover it. He was…perfection. And as she found it impossible to look away, an answering need flamed to life, her gut pulsing with a growing want.
Running a nervous tongue over her bottom lip, Elena sought to push back against the heated longing and find her voice, although her vocabulary seemed stuck in neutral as she repeated, "Stefan?"
He blinked, this time the sound of his name seeming to yank him from his stupor, the passion in his green eyes dissolving into a haunting sorrow. A familiar sight that never failed to crush her heart, fostering a sympathetic pain in her soul.
"Why are you here?" His blatant sadness prompted her to add. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Stefan shook his head, his mouth pursing into a harsh line, as if he was chiding himself with some self deprecation, his attention falling to the floor at his feet. "I shouldn't be here. This is wrong. I'm sorry, Elena. I'll go."
"I'm very proud of you, you know." Elena offered as she threw back the covers and swung her feet to the floor. She didn't want him to go. Not yet. Not until she knew why he'd sought her out. The simple notion that he'd come to her had her head reeling. He was here of his own accord, and she could hardly contain her delight. Because there could be little doubt that the revival of his humanity had brought him to her, his raw, jumbled emotions exposed, tender. He was confused. He was vulnerable. And most importantly…he needed her. Deep in her heart she was certain of it, and she would never dismiss his need for her. Nor would she allow him to reject the feeling. Not when he was struggling so hard to recapture it.
Stefan raised his sights and looked into her face. His puzzled expression caused her to explain as she stood, suddenly conscience of her thin oversized T-shirt that fell to just above her knees and the fact that all she wore beneath it was a pair of bikini underwear, pink. "What you did for Doctor Fell. It had to be very hard. But you did it, Stefan. You resisted the temptation and saved her. I am…so proud of you."
Stefan's entire body flinched at the sight of Elena standing before him, not far from naked, full breasts smooth underneath the cotton of her shirt, nipples pushing against the soft, blue fabric. He swallowed hard in an effort to bury the raging hunger, the unrelenting yearning. He ached with an almost feral need to take her. And he hated himself for the brutality of it. He had no choice but to turn his back to her, the enticement beyond anything he could possibly handle at the moment. It was the only way he could stay in control…save her…save himself.
"You believe in me, Elena." Stefan choked out the confession as he stepped closer to the window in preparation to make his escape, the significance of the truthful words serving to dull some of the hot need scorching through him. He didn't want to give her a reason to withdraw that faith. He would hold on to his resolve. He had to. "You'll never know how much that…helped me."
Shutting his eyes, he concentrated on the chilly air wafting through the open window, desperate to ignore the scent of passion coming from Elena, the frantic beating of her heart. The realization that she was experiencing the same need as he only heightened his purpose to leave. He wanted her so desperately he feared his shaky control would be the death of her. He didn't trust himself. Coming here had been a cruelly selfish act, and he loathed himself for giving in to his insatiable longing to be with her.
So lost was he in his battle for control, Stefan didn't realize Elena had moved until she placed a gentle hand on his arm, the contact nearly sending him out of his skin as he jumped.
"It's okay, Stefan. You're okay." Her encouraging voice stroked his senses, kind understanding tenderly reaching out to him, asking for his acceptance, his surrender.
"No, Elena, I'm not. I don't know if I'll ever be okay again." He refused to look at her as he stood statue still, imprisoned by her subtle grasp, unable to find the will to move away from her, mindlessly basking in the forbidden contact, relishing her soothing warmth.
"You will be…you are." A steady, vibrant trust echoed in the whispered words, the hand on his arm giving a delicate squeeze of support.
At that moment something inside Stefan cracked and then shattered into a myriad of irretrievable pieces. As he turned his head to look down on the noble human being standing beside him, he recognized his resolve scattered on the ground at his feet. His determination to leave her floating on the air as it moved around the room and out the window.
Her large, chocolate-brown eyes gazed into his. So much kindness. So much faith. So much longing. So much love. It was all reflected there for him to see. She offered it freely, and he no longer possessed the strength to deny it. Once again, the truth of his existence came rushing up to overpower him. He was simply not able to resist her.
Without another thought, he lowered his head to cover Elena's slightly parted lips with his. The hope that he hadn't frightened her darted through his mind, but the concern was quickly set aside when her throaty moan reached his ears, her arms sliding around his neck, her greedy fingers finding their way into the hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer. Her eager softness sent a fresh bolt of desire rocketing through him. He wanted to be gentle, slow and tender, convey the unending love he held for her, but he'd been in the throws of starvation for weeks now and the hunger consumed him as he gorged on her supple mouth.
Elena gladly opened for Stefan's ardent exploration, a spark of pure wanton pleasure shooting over her as she welcomed his invasion, her heart a drum in her ears, her breaths shallow and rapid as she matched him kiss for kiss. Excruciating want pulled her muscles taut, throbbed through her gut, bathed her insides.
This was where she belonged, held in Stefan's arms taking his love, giving hers to him. It was as natural as breathing, as comforting as home. It was home, being cradled in Stefan's strong embrace, safe, cherished. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed his touch until this very moment. She never wanted to be without it again.
A contented groan rose in her throat as Stefan began to gather the fabric of her shirt up around her waist, giving him access to the flesh beneath. When his cool, calloused fingers feathered across her belly, Elena's knees buckled, causing her body to lay flat against the rigid, muscular plains of Stefan's heavenly form.
Her hands moved to grip his shoulders for more support just as he cupped a breast, a rough thumb scrapping over the sensitive nipple, sending wave upon wave of shameless bliss coursing along her every nerve, pooling in a hot ache at her core.
The superb gratification forced her to break their kiss, her forehead falling to rest on his chest, air rapidly moving over parted lips as she greedily pressed her needy body into his talented hand, relishing his skillful attention. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she couldn't squelch another moan while Stefan continued to massage her breast, working the puckered nipple into a harder peak, his mouth now worshiping her neck with slow, light kisses.
From she didn't know where, Elena garnered enough fortitude to raise her head. Turning slightly, she kissed Stefan's throat before slipping her hands under his shirt, the need to touch him suddenly all consuming. Gliding her fingers along his smooth, hard midsection, she was rewarded by a hushed, deep growl. Wicked delight brought a smile to her lips as she again placed them against his throat, a thrilling tingle darting up her arms as she slipped them around his waist and rubbed her hands up his powerful back, kneading the lusciously firm flesh as she went.
The intimate contact caused Stefan to pull back slightly, his body stiff with the intoxicating pleasure bathing his every cell. He looked down into Elena's flushed face, her expression soft with happy contentment even as an effervescent passion lit her eyes. The warmth of her skin scorched along his backbone while the pillow of flesh he held burned his palm. He gave the silky mound another squeeze and Elena's eyes slid shut, "Stefan," his name passing her lips in a lusty sigh. How could anyone be so incredibly beautiful? How could he love anyone this much?
God help him…how he wanted her. But the base hunger mercilessly ravaged his body, tearing at his insides while the debilitating bloodlust seared his veins. He fought like hell to hold it at bay, but his advantage was slipping away, the battle slowly draining him of the strength to keep the monster buried.
He had no one to blame but himself. It was too soon. He wasn't under control. His fool-hearty weakness had brought him here, had placed Elena in unnecessary danger. He'd given into temptation, and he'd lost the fight. Now he had to retreat before the unthinkable happened, and Elena became a casualty of his disgusting frailty.
The necessity of departure hounded at him as Elena opened her eyes, passion still shining brightly in the brown depths. One more taste. He needed one more taste. And as the blood rushed to his face, pressure increasing around his eyes, the monster fighting to break free, Stefan covered Elena's mouth with his. The kiss deepened as he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. Without relinquishing her lips, he laid her down, leaning over her as he continued to feast on her sweetness. But the precipice loomed before him and if he failed to act quickly a heart shattering catastrophe would surely destroy him. So, with a firm grip, he reached up and grasped Elena's arms, gently pulling them from around his neck while finally finding the will to free her honeyed mouth.
In a desperate effort to put a little space between them, Stefan straightened and released his hold on Elena's arms, all the while struggling to relax, to calm the bloodlust. The preternatural pressure dissipated, and he swallowed hard before clearing his throat in an attempt to find his voice. "I have to go." He didn't sound very convincing.
"No." Elena's voice was insistent as she sat up, shaking her head, her brows furrowed with the dejected frown turning her lips.
If she'd had her arms sternly crossed over her chest, she would have looked like a spoiled little brat rather than the selfless grown woman he knew her to be. He couldn't hide his good-natured smile as he countered. "Yes."
"But…" She began, then fell silent when she recognized the change.
He allowed it back in…the pressure…the blood. It devastated him to do it, a sick knot forming in his stomach, but he had to make her understand. She needed to let him go. "I'm not in complete control, Elena. I need to leave." His hushed tone held all of the sadness, all of the guilt, hammering at him.
The startled fear darkened her face for only a moment before she nodded her understanding, the frown returning. This time, however, sorrow lurked in her subdued expression instead of the earlier disappointment.
His love for her filled his heart to overflowing as relief washed over his body. She never ceased to amaze him, her kindness, her empathy. By all rights she should be furious with him. He deserved no less. And perhaps he deserved a little more. But her benevolent heart wouldn't hear of it.
You'll never know how much I love you. I'm truly sorry, Elena.
Leaning down, Stefan placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and then vanished.
She hated when he did that.
Lying back on the pillow, Elena took a deep breath, her body continuing to burn with its need for Stefan. She still wanted him. Jeez how she wanted him. The stark danger that had obviously threatened her should have her running for the hills, but it didn't. Stefan held her by the heart and the rest of her body followed suit. Even so, although not a surprise, his lack of control did give her pause.
An unwanted shiver rolled down her spine as she suddenly remembered his bloodlust, the monster once again staring down on her. Her attention gravitated to the open window and she got out of bed and walked over to it.
Lack of control? Really?
She looked up at the cloudy night sky. How much danger had she been in? She would never really know, would she? Never once did she feel as though she was in any kind of jeopardy. Not even when Stefan had given her that brief glimpse at his struggle. He'd left her unharmed…craving his magnificent body, but alive. Elena lifted a slightly shaky hand to her mouth, her fingers running along her bottom lip, still abuzz from Stefan's hungry kisses. From where she stood his control had been impeccable and the realization filled her with immense joy. He was working his way back, and she loved him all the more for his willingness to accept his humanity and deal with the pain and guilt that she knew plagued him.
And speaking of control…what about yours? Or more like…the lack of it.
An uncomfortable warmth spread across Elena's cheeks when she recalled her licentious response to Stefan's touch. Could she have been more brazen? She'd acted like nothing short of a cat in heat when he'd taken her in his arms.
Reaching up, Elena grabbed the window latches and pulled them shut. A light click and they were locked.
She raised a hand to cover a hot cheek. She loved him. And he was so very beautiful. A quiet sigh disturbed the silence in the room. It had been so long. As harsh as it sounded, she was starved for him. Just how much she hadn't known until tonight. Even after everything that had happened, they belonged to one another. Nothing had changed that. She felt it down deep in her soul.
A basic reality all at once solidified in her mind. She was simply not able to resist him.