In My Arms Again

by WSJ

Disclaimer: I own none of it, not even the song. ^-^ Will Smith rulez!!!

Note: This is somewhat along the lines of my poem Fairy Tale, except, well, not as rhyme-y. ^.^;; This is ment to be you and any various GW character. What do I think of...? Me and Du-chan. Or me and Solo. If you've read any of my stories, you can tell he's my favorite character.

Warnings: Angst. That's about it... Oh, and cheesy-ness at the end. And fluff abounds.


I sighed and let my head flop back against the rough bark of the tree. What was I doing here? Ah, yes, it was the two year anniversery of his 'death'.

I snickered to myself. I was mourning that an anime had been taken off the air two years ago. I really was obsessed. I hadn't even twitched when they'd cut Voltron, or Robotech, except maybe being a little angry, so why was I dying inside after they'd pulled Gundam Wing?

Maybe because it's true? a tiny voice niggled at the back of my mind. I shook my head. It wasn't! It was a fantacy story, a work of fiction, a made up mecha anime!


It was written in the stars

On the pages of my heart

I shook my head again, trying to dispel the lingering feelings of kinship that had burrowed into my heart. I too had fought in a war, I too knew what it was like to loose a comrade, a friend, a lover.

Admit it, the small voice whispered again. Say it. You love him

I frowned. "No I don't. He's just a cartoon character. He's not real."

But you love him anyway.

Oh, that someday I would find

The love I feel for you tonight

Isn't it true that he came to you at exactly the right time? the still small voice asked.

I chewed on the inside of my lip, not dignifying it with an answer. But it was right. My fiance had just been killed, and I'd flipped on the TV, desperate for some shred of normality. And there he'd been, whizzing around in his MS, blowing things up like there was no tomorrow.

He'd kept me from depression. Gundam Wing became what I lived for, and I'd balled like a baby when they'd pulled it off the air.

On the ocean of our dreams

Like a prayer you came to me

After that, I'd stopped missing my love so much, and I'd begun to imagine that the engagement ring I still wore was presented by him instead. I imagined that he'd just gone off on a mission, and that once it was complete he'd come back to me, and hold me, and tell me that he loved me.

But who was I kidding? Only myself...

And the longing that had been

Found its ending in your eyes

"This is crazy, absolutly crazy." I said outloud to myself, eyeing the stars as if they somehow betrayed me by watching. "Here I am, sitting under an apple tree at two AM, talking to myself and mourning the loss of an anime."

I instantly regretted I'd said that. I'd always pretended that apple blossems were his favorite, since I had a tree right in my backyard, where I was now.

Who cared if he was only a character, a fantacy, an illusion? Maybe, just for tonight, he could be real. Maybe, just for tonight, I could forget my world and his didn't mesh, and I could love him all I wanted. Maybe.

And I am missing you tonight

I closed my eyes against the stars as a few small tears escaped my eyes. I couldn't understand these feelings. Good greif, he was only a drawing!

No, whispered my heart. He's more. If only to you, he's more.

I really want to see you

I really want to touch you

If only I could hold you, in my arms again

I smiled softly, tears still falling down my cheeks. Fanfics. Oh yes, many fanfics.

Many were self-insertation, where, if only for the duration of a story, I could be his, where he could love me too, if only for a few pages.

Many of the rest were romance between him and another character. Relena perhaps, or maybe Hilde, or Dorothy. Why I wrote those I'll never fully know. Maybe it was because I thought he needed someone, since I could never be there with him.

I really want to reach you

Forever to be with you

If only I could hold you, in my arms again.

I tried to sort through the tumbling emotions in my heart, only suceeding in pin-pointing a few. Love, regret, anger at not being born into the same world as him, saddness, and... Hope? What the hell?

I sighed. "Ok, I'm finally going insane. Against all logical reasoning, my heart is trying to fool me into believing he's in an alternate dimention and really does exist."

The small voice in my heart that was beginning to sound familiar, though I couldn't place from where, started up again. And how do you know he doesn't? After all, someone wise once said that between dimentions there is only a vast sea, and all you need to cross from one to the other is a boat carved from dreams, nailed together with hopes, and water-proofed with longing.

"Shut the hell up." I told it.

Across the waves, across the sea

Separating you from me

Here's a promise and it's mine

I will love you for all time

I opened my eyes again and stared at the stars. Almost unconciously my eyes darted between the constalations I had 'discoved' with him in one of my fics. Sandrock... Treize... Doc Whatever-his-letter-is's nose...

I giggled and almost asked him to point out Noin to me, since I never could spot her. I stopped myself two inches short of making a fool of myself.

My fantacy came crashing down around me. This wasn't my fic. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold in the warmth in vain.

No matter how I tried to deny it, no matter how heavily I tried to cover it up or how deep I tried to bury it, I couldn't escape the truth.

I loved him, and I 'missed' him.

I wasn't sure how this was possible, since technically he was never there in the first place, and therefore I couldn't miss him.

But he always lived... lives... in your heart.

I'm wishing you were here tonight

I smiled lightly, finally placing the voice that had been menacing me all night. Although, now that I knew who it was, maybe 'blessed' would be a better term.

I glanced up at the stars again, just in time to see a streak of light. My mind instantly bounced to Operation Meteor, and I groaned at my own predictability. An idea formed in my mind.


It couldn't hurt.

I really want to see you

I really want to touch you

If only I could hold you, in my arms again

I wish...

The plea was so soft, I could barely hear it. Please... I wish.

Smiling a bit I softly whispered "Alright, you wish."


I really want to reach you

Forever to be with you

If only I could hold you, in my arms again...

I was shaken from my sleep and looked up into a familiar pair of eyes that blinked and backed away when he saw I was awake. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I glanced around, seeing that I was still under the apple tree in my backyard. "Hm? Fine. I must've fallen asleep." I got a good look at the familiar figure and a smile graced my features. I stood up and faced him. "I think it's you who's a little lost."

"No," he said, pulling me into a hug. "I'm right where I need to be. My wish came true."


I know, corny, cheesy, and fluffy. A three-course meal with no desert.

The ending was really cheesy in my oppinion, but hey, we can all dream, right? I couldn't think of a better one.

Comments and critism will be directed to my angst muse, Kawaii-chan, at

Ja ne and God Bless!