The First Kiss
The first kiss they share is in a fire escape.
He sits there, staring out at the cars below.
I can't believe Sam lied in front of the whole internet for me, Freddie thinks. Then something occurs to him. What if she wasn't lying?
That wouldn't shock him. Not that Sam's not pretty, he adds mentally. But she is a little, aggressive, he laughs in his head at what an understatement that is.
Freddie wonders why Sam said anything at all. She hates him. She torments him. And she told the world one of his biggest secrets.
And ruined his life.
She didn't mean to, a voice in his head tells him. And Freddie is fairly sure the voice is right.
Sam and I are weird, Freddie realizes. We do everything that friends do, except we hate each other. And then he wonders, do I hate Sam?
Hate. It's such a strong word. He's not sure if it applies to them. He decides to tone it down a bit.
Dislike. At times, he dislikes what she does... He doesn't think he dislikes her. I couldn't hang out with someone who I didn't like at least a little bit.
Like. He can like her at times. Sometimes, because no matter how much we fight.. We are best friends... And she is really funny.
Love. Equally as strong as hate. Something you should never ever say if you don't mean it. Do I love Sam? Why would I love Sam? I don't think I love Sam.
Sam and I are weird, Freddie agrees with himself from earlier.
Interrupting Freddie's jumbled thought process is Sam. He hears her knock on the fire escape door, and turns his head slightly, before fully turning around in his chair.
Sam walks down the hallway to Freddie's apartment, finding the fire escape.
Before she enters, she just stands there for a second.
What am I about to do? Sam wonders, confused. And why did I just embarrass myself on the internet for Freddie?
For Sam, her feelings for Freddie are clear. She hates him.
She hates everything about the little nub.
Whyshe hates him though, is a question not even Sam can answer.
Why do I hate Freddie? Sam wonders. I'm so rude to him. For no reason that I even know of. I take it a little far sometimes.
She sighs. She knows that it's time she apologizes.
She reaches her arm around, and knocks on the door.
Freddie turns around, meeting her eyes, he looks a little surprised.
They share an awkward smile, and he motions for her to enter.
She doesn't hesitate, she slides the fire escape door open, swinging her legs up to sit on the ledge, leaning against the wall.
"What's up?" She asks.
"Nothin," Freddie replies.
He gets up, to turn down the volume on his pear pod. It's playing Running Away By AM.
"Meatball," Sam offers. It's a peace offering, Sam thinks. Anyone who gets offered a meatball by me should feel lucky.
"No thanks..." Freddie says, wondering exactly how meat is always on her mind. Typical Sam, he realizes.
Sam shrugs. His loss, she thinks, chucking it far off into the night.
Freddie watches it fall, and then turns back to Sam.
This is our first time really alone. Without Carly. Or Spencer. Or anyone, Freddie realizes.
He looks at the blonde haired demon in front of him. The girl who just lied to thousands of people, or maybe, confessed something she herself was hiding. And she did it all for him.
"That was really brave," He tells her, smiling sincerely. "What you said," he adds.
"You heard?" Sam wonders. Freddie turns around, grabbing his laptop.
"You didn't think I'd miss icarly?" Freddie says, smirking.
Sam smiles, he's such a little nerd, she thinks, amused.
Freddie sits down on the ladder in the fire escape.
Just do it Sam, it's not that hard, Sam tells herself. She had to apologize, something shes always been bad at. You can do it. Just two words.
"I'm sorry." Sam blurts. "About, telling people you never kissed anyone."
Freddie looks down, trying to figure out if she means it. If she wasn't sorry, she would have told the whole internet to stop teasing him, that she hadn't kissed anyone either, he reasons. And he knows she meant it. He knows she's sorry.
"And about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle," Sam adds. "And about sending your cell phone to Cambodia."
Freddie smiles, because Sam may be a blonde headed demon, but she's apologizing, she's saying she's sorry. And she means it.
"Everything," Sam says. "Okay?"
"So this means you're not gonna mess with me anymore?" Freddie asks. Please say no. That would be too weird. That's Sam and I's thing. We mess with each other, we pull pranks on each other, we scream at each other and we hate each other, and we're best friends, Freddie realizes.
"No, I'm still gonna mess with you," Sam laughs, as though the idea is ridiculous. "I'm just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again," Sam explains.
"Good." Freddie says, smiling.
"Good?" Sam asks, confused,
"Yeah! It'd be too weird if you didn't make my life miserable all the time!" Freddie explains. "But," He says, hopefully, "Maybe you could pull back just a little bit-"
"I don't think so," Sam interrupts.
"Yeah, I didn't either."
A silence arouses, and Sam decides to break it.
"It's so dumb," Sam says.
"What do you mean?" Freddie asks, confused.
"You know.. How people get all 'freaked out' over there first kiss." She sighs. "It's stupid."
She wasn't lying. She hasn't kissed anyone, Freddie realizes.
"So you weren't lying? You've really never kissed anyone?" Freddie asks.
"Nope," Sam says, her tone a little upset. "Sometimes.. I just.. wish .. Get it out of the way," am says. Freddie's never seem her so at loss for words.
"Yeah, I know, me too." Freddie agrees. It's one of the very few things they agree one.
"Right?" Sam says. "You know, just so that I can stop worrying about it!"
"Yeah," Freddie agrees. There eyes meet for a second.
We both just want to get our first kiss out of the way... We both want to stop worrying about it... What if we kissed? Freddie smiled, amused by his own thoughts. Him and Sam kissing? That wouldn't happen in a billion years.
"What?" Sam wonders.
"Tell me," Sam demands.
"Nah it's dumb.."
"Say it!" Sam insists. She knows what he's gonna say even before he says it... And maybe just maybe, that's what she was hinting at all along.
"Okay... I was just gonna say.." Freddie begins.
"That we should kiss?" Sam finishes for him, a small breeze blowing on her blonde hair. Why am I smiling? Freddie just suggested kissing me? Sam asks herself.
"You're gonna break my arm now right?" Freddie says, looking down.
Sam shakes her head. "No."
"Well.. Should we?" Freddie asks her. He shrugs. "Just so both of us can get it over with?"
"Hmm..." Sam pauses. "Just to get it over with?" She makes sure.
"Just to get it over with!" Freddie agreed.
"An you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over!" Sam says, moving closer to him.
"Oh totally! And we never tell anyone!" Freddie added.
"Never!" Sam agreed.
Then the two sat their for a moment, looking at each other.
Should I really do this? Why should I have my first kiss with.. Sam.. The girl who's always tormenting me. Should I waste it on her?
You're not wasting it, a voice in his head tells him. Maybe you and Sam hate each other, but You're both friends. You're both here. And you both haven't had your first kiss. Just kiss her. Freddie stares at Sam nervously.
Why am I about to do this? I hate Freddie! Why was I even hinting that maybe... I kinda want Freddie to be my first kiss.. Why would I want that?! I hate Freddie. But... Why do I hate Freddie? Sam thought, confused.
So she sat there, waiting for him to kiss her.
"Well... Lean..." She reminds him.
Freddie sighs. I'm ready, He tells himself, and he leans in, getting closer and closer to Sam.
I got myself into this, Sam thinks. But she knows the truth, she wants this.
And the way she feels when Freddie's lips finally hit hers proves that.
Freddie keeps his eyes closed, feeling Sam's lips on his. And he's bit shocked to find that he's.. Actually enjoying it...
Her lips on his actually feels right in some weird way.
Why do I like kissing her? What is going on? I like Carly... I hate Sam... But.. I'm kissing Sam.. Not Carly.. And.. I like it. And Freddie discovers that he's actually kind of glad his first kiss is Sam and not Carly.
She can't decide whether to keep her eyes open or closed.
She knows you're supposed to close them, but she wants to be able to see him.. To remind herself who she's kissing..
Because there's no way she could feel this.. Good while kissing... Him.
She looks around, staring at him, but it doesn't change anything.
So Sam asks herself the question again. Why do I hate Freddie?
Why do I feel those little stupid 'butterflies' as he kisses me. I hate him. Why do I see those sparks? I hate him.
Why do I hate him?
I hate him because I love him.
She only just realizes it herself, when she realizes how true it is. It explains so much. It explains why she hates the thought of Carly and Freddie being a couple. It explains why she even agreed to kiss him in the first place. And most of all... It explains why she hates him.
She closes her eyes again and focuses on the feeling of his lips on hers, knowing it will probably never happen again. She memorizes the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, and all the colors of the sparks she sees around her.
And then they pull away, both a little reluctantly, of coarse neither of them would ever admit it.
Freddie raises his eyebrows, clearly satisfied. Why did I enjoy that so much? He wonders, because he did.
Sam sits quietly, taking it all in.
I just had my first kiss.
Freddie just had his first kiss.
I hate Freddie, because I love him.. Which is why I hate him, because I don't want to love him.
"Well that was ummm..."
"Nice?" Sam supplies.
"Good work," Sam says awkwardly.
" Thank you. You too.." He agrees.
They're pretty sure you don't say these things after a first, but to be honest.. They don't care.
Sam gets up, turning, beginning to leave.
"I keep running away.. Even from the good things.." The music plays from Freddie's pear pod.
Am I running away? Am I running away from something that might be amazing? Sam wonders.
Hey," Freddie calls, before she leaves.
Sam turns to look at him.
He stares right into her blue eyes, smiling.
"I hate you," he tells her, although his tone screamed the opposite.
"Hate you too," She agreed, and then she walked away, without another word.
Freddie looked after her until she got out of his sight.
And he was left alone, to ponder what just happened.
A/N: I love seddie soo much.. I dont usually write it though...
So please excuse if this is crap... This is supposed to have 6 chapters... But if its awful.. I might not continue it.