a/n : Harry Potter isn't mine. Neither is Sirius Black, which is a crying shame.

method to madness

Day 2

There he was, the vile, cowardly traitor. How he did not see this was beyond him, and he felt guilt at the thought of ever suspecting Remus, Remus who forgave him first when he had crossed the line and this man he hated, the fool he hated more than Voldemort was standing and had the gall to look innocent, as if he did not know why he, Sirius was standing there, pointing a wand at him, as if he did not know whose murders he had caused, as if he did not know that Sirius had seen their bodies grow cold in that wreckage, and Harry, marked with scar. "You forgot, didn't you, Peter? That breach of loyalty has to be paid in kind?" he hissed as Peter's eyes grew watery in some kind of emotion.

He would beg for his life, would he? Well, he ought to, he would make sure the coward would understand the horror of death, of having a wand pointed at his face not as a threat for information because he cannot bargain for his life with him, no, this was going to be simple.

Peter Pettigrew's face was white when he yelled, and the Muggles in the street turned around to look at him. "Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?"


Sirius saw hint of a victorious smirk on Peter's face before the deafening blast threw him back. The blast had created a crater on the earth, Sirius walked, oblivious to the screaming, the blood on his robes, and bodies of Muggles scattered around him like rubble. He saw a bloodied finger lying in the middle of the crater, and a tail whipping out of sight.

A chuckle escaped his lips. Little Peter, the idiot who used him and James as a shield, well, who knew that he was capable of such malovent brilliance?
Of course, now he is implicated in the murder of his best friends, the people he loved the most. So simple. Little Peter played on his mistrust of Remus, of Remus's mistrust of him. So carefully manipulated.

To what end?

To live a life of a sewer rat, and to the murder of James, James who had protected them all, James whose glasses were askew and hands were empty because James thought it was a dishonor to mistrust his friends, because James trusted his decision .. Lily whose hair had fallen all over her face, her green eyes vacant, and here he was, standing at the wreckage of Pettigrew's handiwork..and he hadn't realized he was laughing. But yes, he was laughing.

I'm sorry Prongs you had to mop up my mess, I'm really sorry, alright? He had shouted at him. How do you want me to apologise?
Prongs isn't here. Prongs isn't here, nobody will wipe up this mess, and he is standing and laughing.

He'll forgive you, Lily whispered. He needs some time to stew in it and he ll come back, punch you for causing trouble and everything will be alright, Padfoot.

No no, Lily is lying there beside Harry's cot, she wouldn't know anything about how Prongs will react because he is lying dead in the hall.
Somebody is hitting his face, and his laughter is dying out, and somebody is shouting," He is a madman! What is wrong with him?"

Day 3
His laughter had died out to a numbness as his robes were searched, his wand taken, as photographs of him holding his number was taken.
It was then, he remembered.

"It wasn't me", he managed to croak.
"Sure it wasn't. And I am You Know Who", jeered the hit wizard.
"You have got to listen to me!" he said, urgently. He thought of Harry, the scar on his forehead where the curse has touched him, and he won't fail James and Lily, he would honour his promise of protecting Harry no matter what, no matter what arrangements Albus Dumbledore made for him, he, his godfather has to be there for him. "Let me speak to Albus Dumbledore! I need to speak to him!"
"Albus Dumbledore gave evidence on your account that you have been Potter's Secret Keeper" said the hit wizard. "That was more than enough evidence for ol Barty who has been itching throw you into Azkaban. Your master You Know Who is gone and there is no way you get to weasel out of this one."
"Without a trial?!" his protest was growing weaker as they entered the prison, the numbness began stealing over him, he welcomed it with grief and guilt weighing his senses. "Harry Potter.."
"Harry Potter?" the hit wizard gave a grim smile as he threw Sirius into his cell, the Dementors chill had started invading his senses. "I suppose that child is much safer with you in Azkaban, is he not?"
Sirius watched as his cell door closed, mutely.
I can never trust you. You used me, Sirius. You used me for your twisted amusement. Do you even understand what you had done? Remus's voice played in his head.
I didn't think- Sirius began.
That, Remus's voice was filled with disgust. -is obvious.

That child is much safer with you in Azkaban, is he not?

He was standing beside James body, looking for a wand that could have been blasted off his hand. But no, James's wand was lying discarded on the sofa while Lily's was on kitchen counter. They didn't even have a wand in their hands, they couldn't defend themselves.
They trusted him. They trusted his decision, they trusted him with their life.
He had killed them.

this was a story dedicated to my dearest friend, and it was written long back so it isn't in the least subtle but still good enough to read, i hope.