(A/N): I had to do my own kind of pregnancy fic, just had to. But for those of you who think it will be all hearts and flowers are completely wrong. This is angsty from the start, I am afraid. This doesn't focus much on the actual pregnancy part as I am only sixteen and do not plan on having one of my own yet.
Unfortunately, I had to turn Patrick Jane into an ass for this fic. This isn't my best work, so I am rather insecure about it. If you can spare the time to review, then I would be eternally grateful.
I do not own the mentalist. I only own Abrianna.
All That You'll Miss
Lisbon and Jane sat opposite from each other at a dimly lit table in a cosy and romantic restaurant, holding hands on top of the table as they watched each other carefully, though with a lot of affection mixed in. They had been dating for six months now and had been extremely happy together.
"Lisbon- Teresa, darling, I need to tell you something." Lisbon looked at him, so much hope and trust shining in her eyes that Patrick felt sick with what he was about to do to her.
"I think we should break up, sweetheart."
Lisbon stared at him, speechless, tears shining in the light of the lone candle placed in the middle of the romantically decorated table. The hand that wasn't in Patrick's over the table held her still flat abdomen under the table. She felt utterly sick with his words. She had given everything for him, given up all of her principles, her ideals, everything, just for him. And this is what she got for it.
"Ok." She said, almost mouthing it as she got up and threw her napkin from her lap onto the table, looking like a ghost. She would have been angry, but she was drained of all emotion at that moment. She turned on her heel and walked out of the restaurant in her heeled sandals that she had donned especially for him. She actually hated the shoes but he liked them, so she had put them on anyway.
She walked down the cold and empty street, shivering slightly as she gained goose bumps to her arms and legs, hugging herself to try and keep some semblance of warmth in her body. Patrick pulled his car up beside her and drove beside her as she continued to walk stubbornly, refusing to even look at Patrick once.
"Get in the car sweetheart."
"You'll ruin those lovely shoes." He tried to reason with her, but she did something he didn't expect. She stood still suddenly, took the uncomfortable shoes off, and slung them into the passenger seat of his Citroen, closing the door after them and continuing to walk without her shoes.
"There, now I won't ruin them."
Patrick pulled the car to the curb and got out to try to walk beside the crying Teresa. She wouldn't even look at him as she continued walking at a fast pace.
"Look, Teresa, I need adventure, fun. With you, it's all… expected, predictable."
"And what's wrong with wanting a comfort zone?" Teresa stopped on the corner and asked him, tears still rolling down her face as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "I had enough 'adventure' as a child, Patrick. I thought you understood that."
"And I do, it's just that I need adventure, I need fun. I need to go and explore, have a life."
Teresa swallowed heavily, but nodded. "Fine, you do that. Just do me one thing, okay?"
"Never come back to me when you're bored of the fun and adventurous lifestyle."
"That's unfair Teresa. I only want you to wait for me to come to my senses once more, please."
"You don't have a right to ask that of me, Jane. You'll soon find out what you missed out on."
Teresa reached into her purse and found her cell phone after lots of routing around in it. She typed a quick message out and waited impatiently at the street corner, Patrick still begging her to be reasonable. Less than five minutes of begging and ignoring later, an ostentatious red Ferrari pulled up before them with a screech of tires. Walter Mashburn stepped out of the driver's side and opened the passenger side gallantly for Teresa. She sat inside and he closed the door gently after her. He shot Jane a dark glare and got into the driver's side, jetting off into the dark night, leaving him at the corner of the street looking after them in shock.
Walter pulled into the parking lot of Teresa's house and parked up. He turned to face her, gently taking her hand.
"What happened, Teresa?" He asked gently. Teresa looked unseeingly out of the side window, tears still running down her face.
"He broke up with me. He said he wanted fun, adventure, and that wasn't me."
"I'm so sorry Teresa," Walter said, genuinely meaning it before opting for a light, teasing tone. "And here I was hoping to be a godfather."
His little plan worked; Teresa laughed, even if it was only a little and kind of a broken sound. "You still can, if that's what you want. Grace was going to be godmother to it."
"Teresa, I was only joking. However, if you want me as godfather, then I will be happy to have that honour. Just a warning, your child will be spoilt rotten by me." He grinned at her, his face still kind as he watched her.
Teresa fondled her flat tiny abdomen where the unborn life was that had been created between her and Patrick around a month earlier and finally nodded decisively. "Yeah, I'd like that. You've been nothing but good to me, Walter, and I'd love it if you could be godfather."
Walter nodded. "Sure thing Teresa, but I would like to know one thing. Are you going to tell Patrick he is going to have another child soon?"
Teresa shook her head sadly. "No. He wanted out, and I'll let him have his way out the easy way. He just can't come back whenever he gets bored of his new life. But, Walter, I don't think I can do this on my own. I just can't."
"You can, and you will," He told her comfortingly, moving her hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear. "You're strong, and you'll get through it all for the sake of your child. You can do this, and you'll never be on your own. You have your team, and you have me. We won't leave you."
-Six Months Later-
Teresa waddled into her local supermarket, hunting for her usual groceries. Walter had taken her out the night before to a fancy restaurant, and had been nothing but good to her. He had even joked with her, claiming he had to take her somewhere nice now that he was technically taking two out for a meal. It had made her laugh. She liked that people were still able to laugh, even though she was still sad a lot.
Tonight she was cooking for herself, her unborn child, her team, and Walter. All of them had taken the pregnancy well, and Grace was ecstatic at the thought of being godmother. They all helped her out in whatever ways they could, and Teresa was grateful for the simple fact that they cared.
Sighing as she felt her child move inside her, pressing down uncomfortably on her bladder, she browsed the shelves carefully. She had found out the child's sex a week ago. She was having a baby girl. Somehow, it made her feel sick at the thought of Jane finding out about it. She figured that no-one could replace Charlotte in his mind, and Teresa had long given up any idea of telling him of the upcoming child. She didn't even know where he was at the moment, and she didn't particularly want to know. The longer she spent without her, the harder it was to find the courage to tell him anything now. She wasn't sure how he'd take it, and right now, all she needed was stability and comfort, and he was the last person who would provide that now. So, her mind was made up. She wasn't telling him anything. If he wanted to know, he'd find out.
She went back to the shopping with a heavy heart.
Later that night, the team and Walter came round for dinner. Everyone was nice to her, and no-one mentioned the name of the only person missing from the place. There were no pictures up that had him in it, and Lisbon offered no explanation as to why, so they decided to leave it. All of them were angry at Jane for leaving. He should have known something was different about her before he left. He was supposed to be a mentalist, after all.
Patrick Jane sat on a bar stool surrounded by beautiful women and lots of alcohol. He had a new woman every night, and was a very carefree person now. Something was nagging at him in the back of his head, but he studiously ignored it. He didn't want to know what the reasonable and realistic part of his brain wanted to tell him as it sounded too much like her. He was having fun, and wouldn't give in to the thoughts of the petite dark haired woman he abandoned so carelessly six months ago.
- Two Months Later -
Teresa held a tiny baby girl in her arms. She was completely shattered, but didn't want to give up her hold on her baby. Her baby. She liked the sound of those words. Just hers, no-one to have to share her with. No-one selfish around her who would abandon her baby girl at a moments' notice. The nurse came in with a sheet of paper. The birth certificate, obviously.
"What would you like to name her?" The nurse asked kindly, as she could tell the petite dark haired woman lay in the bed was very tired and most likely cranky after nine exhausting hours in labour to bring her beautiful baby girl into the world. The nurse could tell that even at birth, the girl would wrap everyone round her little finger and be both a stunning child and beautiful adult. The petite woman must be extremely proud of her lovely child.
Lisbon looked down at the tiny bundle of joy in her arms. The baby had lovely dark curls and sleepy blue eyes that blinked back up at her. She had a pale complexion and was tiny, just like her mother. The only thing really reminding her of who the father was was her eyes. They were bright blue that looked into your soul. She was beautiful though. She looked like a baby version of sleeping beauty.
"I want to name her Abrianna. Abrianna Talia Grace Lisbon."
The nurse nodded and wrote the words down on the slip of paper. Lisbon stroked her daughter's face gently, tenderly. "I love you Abrianna, never forget that."
The nurse coughed gently and Lisbon turned back to her, though half her attention was still on her baby. "I'm sorry, but what do you want to put in the father's box?" The nurse said apologetically. The petite woman had given birth alone, and the only man sat outside had been quick to point out that he was just going to be the godfather to the child, and most definitely wasn't the father, though he also said he wouldn't mind being the child's father.
Lisbon looked at the nurse and shook her head, looking back down at her baby girl. "Can you just leave it blank, please?" The nurse nodded and left the room quietly, leaving Lisbon with Abrianna, who was slowly falling asleep, safe in her loving mother's arms.
The nurse turned to the two people waiting outside the room. "She has called her baby girl Abrianna Talia Grace Lisbon." She said to Grace and Walter before turning away to the nurses' station. Grace looked close to tears, whilst Walter went straight into the private room they had kindly put Teresa into during and after birth.
Lisbon smiled happily and beckoned him to come closer. He took one look at the tiny newborn in Teresa's arms and was wrapped around her little finger immediately.
"She's beautiful, and a spitting image of her mother."
"Not quite," Lisbon told him, but her face showed a true glow about it that had been missing for eight months as she looked back down at her daughter, and Abrianna opened her eyes to blink at the newcomer. Walter's mouth opened in shock, but he was still wrapped around her finger.
"Well, at least it's only the eyes," He told her, but she shook her head as Abrianna clutched Walter's finger with her tiny fist, refusing to let go. He looked down at her, a soft smile on his face.
"I wouldn't change a thing about her Walter," She told him, tears of happiness in her eyes. "She's beautiful, and I want her exactly as she is. She won't know who her father is, but if she really wants to know when she's older, then I will tell her. But she'll always be mine, and I love her exactly as she is."
"What did you put as the father's name?" He asked gently, managing to take his gaze from the beautiful baby in her arms to the equally pretty face of her mother.
"Nothing. I asked the nurse to leave it blank. He's not coming anywhere near my baby. I won't have selfish people near me if they have the power to hurt my baby girl. He'd just leave again, and hurt her badly. I won't have that."
"Okay," Walter stood and walked to the door. "I'll send the happily crying godmother in now."
Lisbon laughed. "Is that why you're so eager to go? To get away from all these crying women?"
"You know me too well," He teased as he walked out the door, blowing kisses back to both Teresa and Abrianna.
Patrick's cell phone rang for the first time in eight months. He looked at the Caller ID. It said it was Mashburn calling. Patrick answered with a short, "What?" He was in no mood for reminders of his old life and the woman he left behind.
"You definitely missed out, Patrick. She's absolutely beautiful. Has everyone wrapped around her finger."
"What do you want Mashburn?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Abrianna Talia Grace Lisbon."
"Speak sense, please."
"It's the name of the beautiful baby daughter you'll never get to see. That's what you missed out on, Patrick. And believe me; you missed out on a little stunner. She looks almost exactly like her mother, apart from the eyes. Teresa left the father box blank. Your little girl will never know who her father is, Patrick, and it's all your fault."
"Teresa's glowing with happiness now as she holds her baby. She was pregnant Patrick, and you abandoned her and your unborn child for fun and adventure. Now you know what you'll miss. You'll miss your second chance at a loving family. I think that just proves you're a bastard, leaving the woman who loved you and your child alone in the world."
The phone went dead and it fell to the floor as Patrick sank to his knees beside it.
TBC…? Good? Bad? Please let me know.